DON'T EXERCISE. Exercise does nothing but tone up your muscles, improve your cardiovascular system, relax your body and change your brain chemistry to provide a natural high. Not only that, but it wastes a lot of time you could be spending on stress-building activities.
EAT
ANYTHING YOU WANT. Ignore what the doomsayers’ claim about excessive
cholesterol, fats, sugar, salt, red meat, vitamins and fiber. They’re all
trying to get on TV talk shows and make a buck. Besides, if cigarette smoke
can’t clean out your system yogurt isn’t likely to. Stay out of health food
stores, those expensive traps for faddists. Your body knows best, right? Above
all, if you want to stay stressed al day avoid breakfast like the plague.
STAY
OVERWEIGHT. To maximize the effects of stress on your body, especially your
heart, try to stay at least 15% over your recommended weight. Why should you be
judged by fashion-model standards?
TAKE
PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards will usually do the job: Caffeine,
nicotine, sugar and cola. The way they stimulate is to cause a mini-stress
response and get the adrenalin flowing. And you know how much that is.
AVOID
RELAXATION TECHNIQUES. Ignore the far-out claims and improbable research
suggesting that anything resembling meditation, yoga, deep breathing,
mental imaging, positive affirmations or solar hot tubs can relax you in any way
whatsoever.
GET
RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. The mounting evidence that a strong
social support system improves your physical health, psychological well-being
and probable life span should put you on guard. Don’t call your friends, let
them call you. Friendships are something you can be concerned with only if you
have time - and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be
your friends, avoid them. Above all, never share your problems with anybody.
THROW
OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Take your choice: Either enjoy your sense of humor,
or enjoy being stressed - there's no room for both. Humor gives you distance
from your problems and makes a creative solution more likely. Laughter is even
rumored to have positive effects on the body. Staying stressed is no laughing
matter and it shouldn’t be treated as one.
Updated: 7/10/10