July
2007
Dates are chronological
7/13/07
- 11:42pm -
If
you don't know about "Fire The Grid" then please read and pass it on
if you feel so inclined:
http://www.firethegrid.org/eng/home-fr-eng.htm
Also,
a one hour video of Shelley Yate's story can be viewed on the You Tube site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqUAluDvuU4&mode=related&search=
7/18/07
- 11:46am –
Check
out this website http://www.zefrank.com and
in particular this link http://www.zefrank.com/string_spinv2/menu.html.
This is quite an amazing thing.
An
excellent article that discusses what I have been writing about:
"Be
Loved for Who You Really Are"
By Judith Sherven, Ph.D. & James Sniechowski, Ph.D.
I've
been doing more writing as I continue to do my inner exploration, learning how
to stay in inner stillness as to be in touch with higher beings who guide me in
understanding myself and this mess we are quagmired in since the dawn of
Christianity and perhaps further back. I don't believe for a moment that this
particular historical reference line we have been on is the sum total of Earth
civilizations, as those in power would have us believe. Have you ever wondered
why prior to 1 A.D., why the dates go backwards? In real life this doesn't
occur, so why have we been made to believe that it went that way. Oddly enough,
I've never questioned this up until the last month or so. Why would we be taught
this and what value does it serve? No one in their right mind would do something
so ridiculous, so there has to be a reason for making it so. To say that those
prior to Christian times weren't swift is even more ridiculous, given the
current insanity we have been living in. Self-hatred is not conducive to
spiritual intelligence, since it is not in alignment with self-love. If the
power leaders were interested in self-love, it would be taught in schools,
churches, and would be mirrored in the media and other literature expressions.
Our world would vibrate the essence of true love, since that is what is at the
core of all sentient life forms, to include us human beings who are currently
just being human doings.
One
cannot be joy-full following the rules of others. It simply is not possible. Joy
emanates from the inner universe within each of us and it is here that our
sovereign truth resides. No other can tell you your truth. Perhaps they can lead
you to understand what yours is, but they cannot dictate to you what it should
be. There is a difference of being to told what to be and being shown where to
find the possibilities. I spent most of my whole life following everyone else's
rules about what Sherman was supposed to be. I have been realizing this past
month that I am not Sherman, it is not my true spiritual name, nor have I been
in accord with who I am as a spiritual being. I have been busy being what others
have been expecting me to be; either family, church, school, friends,
government, society. None of them are experts on who my spiritual being, nor are
they experts at who you the reader is. It is important to understand that all
the media is geared towards brainwashing you into being a particular way. This
serves the purpose of getting you to consume constantly, whether it is good for
you or not is totally irrelevant to those in power. We are not cattle to be
prodded, nor locked up in a field to graze on what we are given and then taken
to the slaughter house when we are no longer in alignment with their plans.
Last
week, I was driving by a place where I always saw two cattle grazing, only this
particular morning, I saw a large truck out in the field with one of the cattle
hanging upside down by a hook, de-headed, gutted, and all the skin removed. What
really bothered me was the other cattle a hundred feet away looking on. I
believe that all beings are sentient and we all feed off the other in one form
or another. Nature reflects this to us and it is the understanding of all
Indigenous people and those who are awakening to their own natural roots that
there is a fine balance. What bothered me was the indifference to the other
sentient being and yet I know in Nature, this also occurs as well, with those
who survived the hunt watching the hunters consume the unlucky being. In further
contemplating this, what bothers me is the unconsciousness of human beings who
consume with little or no awareness of how they live. By this, I mean how they
treat themselves, other humans, children, the environment, and all the sentient
beings in Nature. Human beings are not in accordance with Nature's laws, which
is to say in accordance with their own inner Nature of spiritual laws. We
are not in touch with our Being, our true authentic expression of a sovereign
being. I also feel on a deeper level that how I was reacting to this is how we
all reacted as children as we were gutted of our own spiritual connection
physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and it was done right in front of
everyone with implicit approval. This is all done on an unconscious level, it is
important to understand this, it is not done on purpose.
One
has to understand that the Universe begins from within. Within this inner
universe, the external universe manifests; humans have been ignorant of this
fact, as is science as it currently is understood. At higher levels of this
inner Universe are eternal beings, who are untouched by the lower vibrations of
consciousness. All levels of consciousness are allowed as they all effect/affect
all other consciousness in the understanding of the Greater Being. True love
does not judge this, but rather sees this as a multi-dimensional aspect of
learning, growing, creating, loving, healing, being. At this level of Being, it
is truly understood that all beings are eternal, though they may have forgotten
or gotten lost or made choices that did not allow them to retain their higher
vibrations. But, this is allowed, to varying degrees. There are always other
conscious beings who assist us in one form or another, but there again, it comes
back to whether or not they serve themselves first or truly serve in the highest
order of assisting others to move higher. Yes, we do grow and change via pain
and suffering, eventually, but the length of time for this to occur is
significantly daunting. What do you choose? This idea of non-judgment isn't a
carte blanc to do as you please, though there are those who do and they have
been doing it for eons; note that eons doesn't apply to thousands of years it is
in the realm of hundred, millions, billions, trillions, etc. Life as we know it
is but a small atom in the bigger scheme of the cosmos and as I said it begins
within. No amount of looking externally will get you there.
We
are multi-dimensional Beings, who are out of touch with their inner mindscape,
which would begin to lead you away from the unconsciousness that this world
currently lives in. It is time to wake up, to begin to ask different questions,
to find out who we are behind all the masks, facades, and walls. We are not
these superficial vestiges of humanity. Our bodies are organic technology, and
if you would consider how profound the design of this body, then you would begin
to realize we are way more than we have been led to believe. Religion and
science are clueless about the greater aspect of this understanding because they
live in their intellect and that is but a small bit of the immensity of the
Universal intelligence that exists. Both seek to control and dominate, it is
about power over versus power within. Each of us is an eternal spark of divine
consciousness with access to the same divine power as the Universe. We are the
one's in our own way inadvertently. Now is the time to begin waking yourself up.
Waking up has nothing to do with any external person, place or thing. None of it
is worth more than your inner source of being.
This
leads me to discuss a bit about the term Maya
(Illusion). I was reading "Beyond The Mind" yesterday, when a
particular phrase triggered a shift in my awareness. I put the book down and
sort of gazed around the Co-op where I
was sitting outside. ( Find a
Co-op in your area). I suddenly understood that all of the external world is
an illusion. The many believe it to be the sum total of their existence, their
reason for living, and yet it is really nothing, because it is does not honor
the true sovereignty of each spiritual being. The many are forced into
conformity that cripples their being, denying it access into the world from
within. Pain and suffering is a norm that is justified, in fact it must be
justified in order to deny spirit, to deny the light within. There are those who
know how to imprison light beings and this occurs at birth and the early
formative years. These beings thrive in the lower vibrational levels of which
this particular planet is part of, and in particular the astral plane. The truth
of these early formative years is we are already encoded with all that we need
to unfold within ourselves, because this is the seat the soul, of which is also
connected to the higher self/higher mind. In that moment, it suddenly explained
why I have been finding myself becoming less and less interested in the man-made
world; no joy, no bliss, no ecstasy, no honesty, no integrity, no beauty, no
authenticity. Ironically, Nature has these woven within the fabric of its being,
which is the only current source available on this plane of existence to
experience it and it is why human kind is busy eradicating it, because if one
spent enough time in Nature, they would find themselves back to their roots. A
good book on this is "Reconnecting
With Nature: finding wellness through restoring your bond with the earth".
Michael J. Cohen discusses fifty-three senses we have that connect us to the
natural world. We have been taught we have only five, which is totally
incorrect, unless of course you are just living in the intellectual mind. I have
experienced all of them, so know they do exist.
In
that moment of awareness of Maya, I saw through the complete illusion, and
realized that I'd been going back and forth between these two, with still a bit
of attachment to the man-made illusion. I realized the only thing of real value
was that which radiates from light, which honors the sovereignty of each being
and cares for all beings. The man-made world does none of this, in fact its not
even close, hasn't even begun to work on it, let alone contemplate on it. The
same forces that have been ruling are still ruling and still working diligently
at stifling spirit's entry into this world. And this is ironic, because no
matter how hard they try they cannot put out the fires of creation, because the
flame is eternal, meaning it can never ever be snuffed out, not even by our
selves. This is what religion doesn't want you to know, doesn't want you to know
that you are an eternal being, that the body is not who you are, but just a
vehicle to be in this world of matter. We have been taught to identify with the
body and intellectual mind, while having our soul and spirit identity suppressed
and outlawed per say. We are not of this world; never were, never will be. We do
not come from worlds, we enter into them. And that is not to say that there
aren't sentient beings on other planets. What I am saying is our inner world, is
home to all of us internally first and foremost. This is significant because we
have been taught to see our existence out there in the vast external universe,
when in fact it is within us and always has been.
As
I mentioned, I've been re-reading "Beyond The Mind" by Bernard de
Montreal, and more of it is making deeper sense of my own unfoldment process. I
am hoping to do some postings of some of his book, since the book is no longer
in print. Some one has acquired the rights of his name as a web domain and
currently there is nothing on either of them; http://bernarddemontreal.org
and http://bernarddemontreal.com .
There are no used copies of his book to be had anywhere that I have looked; If
you are meant to have one, you will find one. There are some sites that are in
French and if you Google them and then ask Google to translate it, you can get
some glimpses of what de Montreal is about, though be aware of the fact that the
translations are not perfect, so you'll need to use some of that latent critical
thinking skills to put the puzzle pieces together. Have fun searching...
I'll
write more later. I'm just busy spending a lot of time freeing my own being from
the last residues of restraint in being authentic. I recently did a sensory
awareness workshop that was really profound. I will post this soon, since spirit
has been getting on me to write more and to get my written material in book
format.
In
Being,
Sherman
I just posted new links to my consumer info under my personal links. I've been buying local and at my co-op for some time now for my organic food. I began buying organic foods back in the early 90's, but still continued to buy other items I had been accustomed too. In 2005, after repeatedly failing to get the mainstream grocers to carry organic products and tiring of having the discontinuing what little they carried, and having over-priced organics, I made the decision to stop supporting corporate businesses who only cared about their profits and did little or nothing to promote organic & natural foods. Their idea of natural is to use pesticides, heavy metals, and other contaminates; NOT NATURAL. I just received my dividend check in the mail from my local co-op and ironically it included how much money I spent on groceries and other healthy health related products ($4268.61). I am pleased that none of my hard earned money went into those businesses that support unsustainable practices, to include making their employees conform to corporate mentality and appearance codes, where everyone looks and acts like they are robots.
Specifically, when you purchase organic produce locally, you are getting produce that is picked ripe, versus unripened produce from agribusiness that is picked unripe and is less tasty, hard, and less nutritional. I grew up on local produce and spent most of my childhood out in the fields and knew where all the fruit trees were. Once you have had ripe fruit and vegetables. Even co-ops offer organic produce that is unripened and I refuse to eat it; quite frankly it tastes like shit. I have become an advocate of farmer's markets, though they too are getting ridiculous as they are as expensive as the mainstream stores, though you are getting ripened stuff. On the other hand, one can go out into the outlying areas of their cities and towns and find farmers who sell ripe stuff and for less. There are organizations that give out information of where these farms are. One just has to ask around and usually co-ops are aware of these local farmers, since they purchase certain goods from them. Also, buying locally grown foods allow you the consumer to know who is growing your food and how they grow it. Agribusiness could care less about this in general and our supposed government is negligent in more ways that you would care to know in regards to enforcing organic practices, not to mention making it difficult for small farmers to compete by making laws that support corporate agribusiness.
The USDA and FDA are basically owned and manned by corporate people who have a vested interest in maintaining standards that support their monopolies that guarantee them gigantic profits. Another unsettling issue is when agribusiness takes over and begins to monopolize agriculture, then smaller local farmers go out of business. You might not think this is a big issue, but when food is grown in out of state areas, such as California, Florida, and Texas, and frosts or storms or droughts occur, and food is unavailable, then prices go up and or you do without. There is an old saying that states, "don't put all your eggs in one basket." There is a reason for this, and it is the same reason for not investing in one market exclusively. Diversity is what Nature is built on, and it is only ignorant individuals who have taught us to become unaware of this, so they can make money off of your ignorance. This practice is what capitalism is based on, and before you react to this statement, capitalism could also be based on ethical, diverse, and sustainable practices. The real issue is the individuals who run the system and businesses who lose touch with their inner guidance and grow up into adults who have come to live by the external world and see materialism as the basis of success, but don't see the downfall of ethics, honesty, integrity, community, diversity, and joy.
Happiness and joy are two different things. Happiness comes from getting something or having someone, but when you lose it your happiness goes away. Joy is different in that it comes from your inner being and when one is true to ones self, ones Being, then joy is a natural state of this essence. You don't have to please any outside critics to be en-joy your self, your Being just is, its like breathing, you just be. From this state of Being, you are integrated, meaning you are integrated in body, mind, soul, and spirit, which allows right actions to arise from within untainted by being unconscious due to cultural rules and constraints. So, the question that naturally arises is do you want happiness in your life or joy. I'm reminded of a friend who is drifting away these last few months because he continues to see the glass as half empty, in fact argues for it, believing that the world is not going to get any better, so why bother. Well for starters, if you do nothing, you are guaranteed nothing; that's a no brainer, actually it is an ego context. When one is in joy (glass half full), one is in Being, and hence one is in the domain of the heart/spirit. When one is in happiness (glass half-empty), then one is in the domain of ego and spirit is usually ignored for the most part. This is why the world is the way it is, why pain and suffering continue to expand, why their are more homeless people, more unemployment, more wars, more violence, more dishonesty, more unethical issues, useless governments, overbearing corporate and elite influences. Same old shit isn't it?
The only way it is going to get better is to start waking up, start listening to your feelings, your heart, and begin to support your Being, your authenticity, your inner life. This process takes time, and yet the results are well worth it. Peace of mind is what you get, inner direction to what your heart desires is what you get. So, what is peace of mind? I'll give you an exercise to do, in fact I'll give you two of them.
1) Sit down in your living room when no one is home. Ensure that the TV, radio, stereo, cell phone, are turned off, as well as any thing else making distracting noises. Early morning or late evenings are good times to do this. Then close your eyes and pay attention to what goes on in your intellect. The friend I mentioned tried this at my request and he lasted all of several minutes and gave up. Try it yourself and you will begin to understand why the world is the way it is, because everyone else is in the same boat, with an ego presence that dominates the intellect. It is like a roar in many people, so much so that they avoid staying there, but the truth is it is their ego (intellect) that convinces them that its too much. Intellect is what we identify with, we think it is who we are, in fact we are taught that it is us, because this us are all the rules and limitations we were inundated with, forced into by others.
2) Go out into a Nature area where there are forests or woods and find a place where it is really quiet and still. Feel this space as you stand there. Notice this stillness, because this stillness is what our inner nature is supposed to be like, where the ego is totally still. In this stillness, we can start to hear the higher self, the spiritual self, as well as hear the other beings of light that come to assist us in love. When the ego no longer interrupts and intrudes and blocks our higher self, then we begin to align with authentic Being and make choices for our highest good, and in this state of highest good, we assist in the highest good of all others as well.
Ego is not who you are, it is the sum total of all the past memories of experiences each of us has had and in turn the ego uses these to its advantage by constantly going back and finding the closest possible memory to get us to limit ourselves. The ego does its job so convincingly that it will bring up something that holds only a hair of truth to the current reality we find ourselves in, and yet we are so captivated and imprisoned by ego consciousness that we allow the connection to occur, because we believe we are ego, and we don't even have awareness of it for some time to come, if at all in a life time. I was reading an excerpt from Deepak Chopra's new book "Buddha: A Story Of Enlightenment," where he writes about his queen Maya who had told him she wanted to go to her mother's house to birth their coming child: "Therefore, the world could touch Maya, move her, hurt her, but never change her." This is true of all of us as well, that the world can touch us, move us, hurt us, but at the core of our Being, can never change our Being. If we are living in ego, then this is not true and ego does not see it this way and the mask and facade that we have formed will take us further away from our Being. But again, our true Being cannot be touched; ever. You are not ego and you will never be ego. A person will continue to identify with ego only out of habit, which is a pattern that was created when we were young to fit in and conform. Habits make us go unconscious, being forced into unnatural movements that go against a child's Being causes the child to have to focus on the external unnatural movements in order to get their basic needs of food, shelter, and nurturing met, even if it is just crumbs. This is what Maslow's hierarchy of needs is about.
I was doing a session with a walk-in client today and while talking to her an awareness arose within me that Being is a movement. Inner movement arises from a conscious thought and whether it arises from ego or spirit, the movement creates a particular outcome. If you are motivated by fear, then particular movements of resistance against your true Being will arise. If you are motivated by love, then particular movements arise and are expressed by ones true Being. This is why it is so important to become conscious of what is going on within ones mind. To begin to become conscious of what thoughts are motivating you. After awhile of observing, it becomes clear as to the content of fear or love. Part of the journey is to realize that you are not any of those thoughts that are fear based. You are not your ego and with this realization one begins to navigate towards becoming conscious of the body, of which houses the feeling centers and emotional centers that are always in alignment with spirit and in letting us know when we are out of balance. This is why culture dictates that crying and vulnerability are weak.
In reality weakness means that you have opted to not control and suppress the body to shut down awareness of not being in alignment with spirit. If one watches children, they have no problem with expressing their feelings, emotions, crying, and being vulnerable. They are being true to their divine essence. Adults must access these to arrive back to the center of their Being if they want to be conscious. This idea that the past is in the past and doesn't need to be addressed is totally an ego response geared towards suppressing your movement away from its control. The indoctrination is so deep that moving away from ego/intellect brings up a great resistance towards any change of their dominion over your inner spirit. Think of the ego as a great cloud that covers up the blazing warmth of the Sun in the sky. We have forgotten that the Sun is still blazing behind the clouds. Our perceptions are such that the Sun does not exist at all. We don't even know it exists. What one believes is what the ego has been programmed with. The ego is a closed system of information that only allows in what conforms to a negating fear based belief system.
Opening up this belief system is what we do when we begin to challenge our assumptions and start listening to our feelings and emotions. When we begin this process, we begin to entertain new ideas and possibilities. As we allow these new things in we begin to realize that some of these aren't so bad after all, which gives the ego permission to open up more. This process continues on until we finally hit a wall, which is the realization that we are more than intellect. At this point, we begin the ascent beyond the known into the unknown, where we begin the transformational process of reclaiming long forgotten elements of our Being. And, it is important to understand that this is a process, that there is no destination per say, and it is your inner drive to desire authentic Being that will be the deciding motivator as to whether or not you continue on unabated or reach a particular limit.
I am reminded of watching the salmon coming back up a creek from the ocean up into Cornwall Park in Bellingham, WA. I watched individual salmon struggle up through areas that had maybe an inch of water, watching them swim on rocks mostly in bursts of speed, until they arrived into a bit of water to rest in and breathe oxygen again. As I walked up the creek, I could see dead salmon along the way, of those who had died before reaching the end of their journey. I also saw other salmon who had made it to the next leg of their journey up the creek. Half way through the park is a bridge that overlooks a small two foot high dam with an opening for water to pour through, of which the salmon have to leap up through to continue on their way. As I looked down, I saw a 10-20 salmon lazily swimming around in the water, resting up for the next leg. I had this strong sense of life being like this, how we go a certain distance, tiring and deciding that this is as far as we are going to go in our life. This sense that we die and come back where we left off, not out of choice, but out of Karma, meaning whatever issues we had that prevented us from reaching consciousness, is where we start out again the next time.
Bernard de Montreal discusses how the ego is part of who we are, but it is not the whole part, and the soul is part of who we are, but not the whole part, and the higher self is who we really are and the other lower aspects are part of the whole. Montreal discusses the soul as a psychic essence of which maintains all of our past life memories, of which cloud our consciousness in being able to be awareness and in communication with higher self. These soul memories need to be worked through, to understand the soul's influences in order to take the soul by the horns so to speak to integrate all the parts to be able to come into contact with who we really are. Montreal discusses astral influences over the soul and the importance of becoming clear about what is coming from fear and what comes from love. Fear is what the astral plane is about, it is manipulative symbiotic relationship so to speak, of which an energy exchange occurs, where astral influences trigger fear in us so that they can feed off those particular negative energetic vibrations. Eckhart Tolle discusses this in his book, The Power of Now. My own transformational process has allowed me to be aware of this and to learn how to navigate this terrain.
I am sure there is resistance to this idea, but if you look to the native indigenous teachings, you will find cross-culturally stories that discuss the trickster element. In Native American lore are stories of the fox being the trickster. Clarissa Pinkola Estes has compiled extensive stories and myths in her book "Women Who Run With Wolves," which touch on this astral influence and though the book is about stories that women have passed on about women, each of us has the feminine aspects in our selves, and so I highly recommend this book for everyone. In particular is the second chapter, "Stalking The Intruder: The Beginning Initiation," which starts out about the story of "Bluebeard" and moves into "The Natural Predator of the Psyche." This work towards waking up is work in a very real sense. One is being tested by higher self to see if you are strong enough to break free of the inner constraints. Higher self can guide us, but we have to do the work. Lower self has to struggle to become aware enough, brave enough , courageous enough to not give a damn about anything that gets in our way to claim what is rightfully ours.
There is more to the story than you have ever been told and one must be willing for the journey to start. When you do start the journey, you will meet resistance by those egos that control the countless others that surround you. Know there is always a way and it takes determination, motivation, and concentration. Ironically, when I was in Army basic training in 1984 our platoon had what was called the "word." The drill sergeant would yell at us, "what's the word first?", and our response-ability was to yell at the top of our lungs, "Determination, motivation, concentration Sergeant!", this was repeatedly regularly until it was engrained in us or at least in me. Those words have never left me. There have been times since then, as I have continued my waking up process, where I had to dig down into my basic training to get through the obstacle at hand. Those traits have been my savings grace, for I truly believe that without them, I would have either stayed unconscious or gone off the deep end. Everyone's journey is uniquely different, so what I went through is not what everyone else is going to go through per say. But waking up is very challenging to say the least. And, the rewards are well worth the effort.
True
freedom is the reward and it is not about freedom externally, but an inner
freedom to be integrated into Being. There is nothing worth having externally
over your Being, which is why materialism is so rampant, because the many try to
fill the inner void with people, places, things, and no amount of them will ever
fill the void that only Being can fill. The filling the void with things becomes
an obsession fueled by ego, sort of like a rider on the back of donkey holding a
carrot on a stick and dangling in front the donkey to get it to move forward; we
are that donkey and ego is the stick holder. There's more to life than carrots!
Blessings!
7/26/07
- 10:20pm -
" A life without change is not a life; it is a stagnant pool. To change your mind frivolously is a cop-out. To change your mind under the direction of the wisdom of the heart is a brush stroke on the masterpiece you are delivering to the world." -Alan Cohen "Dare To Be Yourself"
I had another huge opening this morning while at work. I became aware of more patterns and how they related to my family of origin. I wanted to literally vomit, and had this sick feeling for a couple of hours as all these realizations surfaced. I have come to understand the importance of just feeling the feelings, to acknowledge them, for they were suppressed from long ago. When they finally come up, it is time to feel them and then they just dissolve and are gone. The suppression is just stuck energy that needs releasing in order to allow the free flow of energy to move. This energy is consciousness, is what we are made of. It is incredible how we are drawn to people like our parents and siblings over and over and over until we wake up and see what no longer works for our highest good.
Today offered me an opportunity to free up a whole lot of energy that has been creating situations that no longer fit who I am as a spiritual Being. Being free of all that baggage allows one to take off like a rocket into the higher regions. I have heard many people profess that one need not have to go back into the past to heal and quite frankly they are full of shit. Period...Having spent most of our lives from the time we were born following everyone else's rules about who we are, what we should do, how we should do it, when we should do it, why and where, and with whom has created a zillion actor/actress masks and personalities that we identify so readily with, that we swear up and down and on a stack of bibles (a worthless endeavor), that we know who we are. How absurd! The world is full of people who have no idea how to Be themselves. They have been carefully crafted by the media, education, corporations, family and peer pressure. Women get told to where make-up to be beautiful and men get taught that crying is for sissies.
I feel like I have stepped away from a wall with two eye holes on it to find a whole other world going on behind me that is so much fuller, richer, joyful, and amazing. So, why would I want to go back to sticking my face up against a wall and peer out into a world of non-being? I am no longer able to do that and I no longer care about my peers or what the world thinks. I have watched what they do to themselves and to others in the name of conditional love and it is not a pretty sight. When you are awake you see the masks, feel the walls, sense the facades and it is not warm, caring, compassionate, spontaneous, joyful, carefree, gentle or loving; none whatsoever. And everyone keeps on pretending, even when the pain becomes unbearable and crippling. No thank you. Having found myself, I have no intentions of giving it up for anything or anyone.
I hope you find your Self, your Being, because it is the only thing of value.