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August 2008



8.02.08 - "Forgiveness And A Family Clash" By William Bloom




8.03.08 - I copied this from the Touch The Future website, for it touches on what I have been writing about, this dysfunction we have been forced into as children:


Playing by Heart

The Vision & Practice Of Belonging

By O. Fred Donaldson, PH.D.

"Playing By Heart is a contemporary hero’s journey, leaving behind the safety of cultural identity to discover something vast, authentic, universal and true, a state of being and relationship that Fred Donaldson calls Belonging.

From a conversation between Fred and Michael Mendizza:

We make a bargain with our children very early. “Give up the original state of belonging that you know as an infant, and I will provide for you the goods of the culture.” At that age, the people presenting us with this bargain are all we know. We have no choice. So we accept the bargain and it seems appropriate. We start to buy into those rewards and never realize that they can never get us back what we gave up. We get trapped into thinking, “if I just win more, if I just get more stuff, I will feel the sense of belonging and wholeness that I felt as an infant.

The whole culture feeds this feeling of not having or being enough. Ultimately, we find out, many of us not until it's near our death, that these culture games can never meet the needs of this original belonging because they focus on such small parts of us. They can't meet that need, not just belonging to family or a team or a country, but belonging to life itself. That takes a huge sense of safety and love that the little belongings don't provide for us. But we're never told that.

Once you've lost that original sense of belonging to life itself, you end up doing the things necessary to defend yourself and keep those boundaries around you secure. Those little belongings, whether it's a family, a culture, a gang, a team, hook you into doing the things that keep you as a member. Membership becomes exceedingly important and you are valuable only as long as you're a member. It doesn't matter whether it's a sports team, an urban gang, a member of an army, it's all the same process. You are good only as long as you abide by the terms of membership and participating in contests is the primary way we prove this allegiance.

Being a member is absolutely crucial to our survival. We're never told that there is a membership outside of all the cultural memberships. We knew that in our original belonging and that's what play helps us discover again.

Play has taught me is that life comes with it's own pattern. That pattern is a sense of belonging that's immensely powerful, yet very hard to get a hold of. And not believing in that, we go for the frosting, the illusions of prestige, money and so on. Once hooked into that, the cultural counterfeits, it's extremely difficult to let them go.

Once we assume that our real self, who I really am, is depended upon the goods, the services, and prestige the culture provides, then I loose control of my own sense of value and well-being. I become attached to the cultural image I have accepted about myself. My connection to people is defined by what they offer me. Once I am cut off and my sense of self becomes attached to things out there. I loose touch with my true value. I forget how to reach back and find out how to play, how to love. I don't know what safe means because safe has always been these other things, a big home, a car, money and fame.

If I can discover a quality of relationship that is really safe, then I don't need to defend myself, then you don't need to defend yourself from me. Now we can focus our energy in creative ways. Once you're safe and not dissipating energy in self-defense, then it's a much easier to communicate, to love, to be kind and do all those things that we'd really rather do than hurt and defend. Play begins when we discover this safe place, that we belong, right here, right now, with all of life."


“How the Light Gets In”

The birds they sang at the break of day

Start again I heard them say


Don't dwell on what has passed away

Or what is yet to be...


Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in.


- Leonard Cohen, ANTHEM





8.16.08 -


"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." - Plato


I recently heard this song entitled "Take A Bow," by Rihanna, while driving. While the song is about a woman catching her  boyfriend in continual lies of cheating on her, what caught my attention were particular phrases that triggered an awareness of how I had put up with a lot of non-sense by those who professed to be friends or lovers, of which caused me to react in kind with my own dysfunctional patterns learned early in life at home, church, school, and later on in society's infested condition. Those people have departed, either on their own accord or my own, as I began the process of re-orienting myself to authentic Being. Looking back on my interactions with them, it is obvious how much of an act it was; as are the vast majority. I've highlighted the phrases that triggered my awareness and will write more about them after the song:


Take A Bow

How 'bout a round of applause
Standing ovation
Oooohh Oh Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Just cut it out

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
You betta hurry up
Before the sprinklers come on
Talkin 'bout "Girl I love you, you're the one"
This just looks like a re-run
What else is on ?

And don't tell me you're sorry
'Cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
But that was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

And the award for
The best liar goes to you,
For makin me believe
That you could be Faithful
To me
let's hear your speech

How 'bout a round of applause
A standin' ovation

But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
Now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
But that was quite a show
Very entertainin'
Yeah Yeah Yeah
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now...


When we're in facade mode, wearing the mask, playing out the roles we were forced into and had molded into our psyche, we are not present, nor is authentic being present. There are times when it surfaces, and at times can stay for an hour or day or month, but the patterns dictate how we respond to external events, and no matter how much we may want to stay present, the patterns over-ride the ability to engage in authentic Being. We're all actors/actresses and we don't even realize it. We may have inklings of it now and then, but for the most part, humans are unconscious. This is why we are enthralled with actors and actresses, why we idolize them, pay them huge sums of money. If you look at all the various movies that are out there, they are all showing us what is going on inside of ourselves and what is going on in our dysfunctional world. The many don't see the correlation and quite frankly, are mesmerized by the drama. Once one awakens sufficiently, the drama becomes evident and the movies no longer have such a draw, and eventually, one becomes fully awakened to create their own movie and starring in their own role by actively seeking out and reclaiming authentic Being and living in harmony with one's soul in tandem with Spirit.

The song allowed me to see how much of show I was involved in with those who were unavailable to themselves, and it was quite entertaining, since it had me in their dysfunctional grip. But, like anything you become aware of that is not working, you discard it for something that fulfills the heart, rather than the ego and adherence to dysfunctional cultural norms. I really don't miss them anymore. I understand my own dysfunctional patterns and have dissolved them for the natural ones that were suppressed early in my growing up. I am strong enough spiritually to maintain my sense of self against those who don't like those who are functional, since that is the reaction that is built into dysfunction; to eradicate functionality.

Our whole system is set up to imprison the expression of authentic Being into the world. I am finishing up reading "Women Who Run With Wolves", and the author is discussing the same thing. As children, often we know what we are being told is a lie, and yet there are things we are naive about as well, When I say culture, I mean the group of people, small or large, that impinge upon the individual to fit in and conform to the external group idea of what reality is, rather than the inner expression of spiritual reality, which is to say seeing reality without filters. Culture needs to filter out the full reality in order to enforce a false reality or limiting reality, which inhibits various information to cripple and shut down areas of the psyches in order to gain conformity to the group mentality; the group insanity. As I have said before, this starts when we are small children, when we are unable to protect ourselves from the external onslaught. 

Author Scott M. Peck's book "People of the Lie,” (p.107), has a short paragraph about children that speaks volumes to a crucial piece to how dysfunction is passed on via the traditional family. although he uses it in the context of what he calls evil people, it is my opinion based on my own extensive ongoing inner work and education that it is relevant for all adults in the world, at various levels of dysfunction, for its not just those other people over there who do this sort of thing. The issue of dysfunction is a cultural phenomenon and is inclusive of all those in its grasp, of which dysfunction have been the norms for thousands of years.

 "The most typical victim of evil is a child. This is to be expected, because children are not only the weakest and most vulnerable members of our society but also because parents wield a power over the lives of their children that is essentially absolute. The dominion of master over slave is not far different from the dominion of parent over child. The child's immaturity and resulting dependency mandate its parents' possession of great power but do not negate the fact that this power, like all power, is subject to abuse of various degrees of malignancy. Moreover, the relationship between parent and child is one of enforced intimacy. A master could always sell a slave if the relationship was one he found intolerable. But just as children are not free from their parents, so it is not easy for parents to escape from their children and the pressures that their children impose."

It is amazing to look back upon those interactions with those I thought of as friends, and to really see that it was nothing more than a dance of patterns, each person seeking to rectify their dysfunctional delusion that was rarely, if ever, rooted in the present moment. Perhaps there were times when each was present momentarily, but if any action, word, or thing triggered a dysfunctional pattern, then the person disappeared on a trip to the past or future. And for the most part, I have to say that rarely is anyone truly ever home for the most part. I spend a great part of my day interacting with my own inner dynamics, noting those aspects that strive to distract or pull my awareness away from being present. Thankfully, I recognize these processes and remain the vigilant observer.

I also spend a great deal of that time being aware of my external environment, and it is amazing how much others are not present and engaged in distracting themselves and/or others. As an example, the other day I pulled into Fred Meyer's parking lot and here was this guy exiting, driving a car with his back door open; forgot to close the door. Even more interesting was that nobody else noticed this; not the other cars around him, nor my work partner. As I pulled along side of him, I let him know his door was open. I see these sort of things all the time and it seems to be getting worse. This is the first year where at least once a week I see someone going down a one-way street.

Being present allows one to access inner instincts, intuition, and guidance to align oneself with others who are conscious, functional, and authentic. Having one's inner connections allows one to discern to a greater level and to support, nurture, and protect one's authentic expression of Being. Being allows one to radiate compassion into the world, to shed one's inner spiritual light into the world. This light is within all of us, but is most obvious in the children at a very young age. Their spiritual light is so bright and strong, which is why there is such a draw to children. Unfortunately, as children get older, their inner light, their inner spiritual Being, begins to express itself in the world. The light is an energy that feels wonderful, but what the light does in terms of functional behaviors, is frightening to the dark forces that have the light imprisoned in others.

If one has eyes to see and ears to hear, one begins to realize and witness that the young eventually grow up until eventually they lose their light to conforming to the external cultural rules. I have witnessed this occur, where someone was once light, vibrant, and eventually they become more and more serious. One only need look around at the vast majority, who are serious for the most part, occupied with following the rules. I go to the YMCA regularly, and it is amazing how many of them are plain serious and unfriendly. Conformity is the rule here as well.

Life goes on. We can either enjoy it consciously or do it unconsciously, doing things that get us kudos from others, but not for our own self. Yesterday was one of those days where I woke up to realization in regards to my current bill paying job. I've been working at getting more into what I love and it has taken time here in Bellingham, but yesterday I felt at a really deep level, my discontent of doing something I don't love doing. I do it exceptionally well, and I can see that most of my life I have done all of my jobs extremely well, and other's approved of my work and appreciated what I did for them; though I didn't always get paid for my worth like most people. You see, it's the approval thing we are after, and as long as we are focused on getting the approval, the pats on the back, praise, etc., we are caught up in needing the approval of others.

You might say that's not me, but I will tell you that one doesn't know they are doing this, because it is all unconscious, for if we were truly conscious, we would have a whole other life of authentic Being, and as far as I can tell, that includes the vast majority of people, since most of our world cultures are insane. And if one were to ask everyone around them, they would all believe they are sane and doing what they love. The whole basis of unconsciousness is that we don't know that we don't know. It is ego that is disagreeing with this statement, because it has to convince you that it is in the know. Egoic knowing is vastly different from heart knowing. One is thinking, the other is feeling.

Sometimes we avoid moving more fully into authentic Being because it will isolate us more from those around us, and yet this is our spiritual calling, to not fit in and be like everyone else, nor have everyone's approval:

"You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time."

Yet how often do we turn away from this truth. The answer to this challenging quote is rooted in our collective amnesia. Caroline Myss discusses this issue in her book, "Anatomy Of Spirit." Myss believes most humans live in the first two chakras, and this stems from being unconscious due to cultural forces. This enforcement of consciousness prevents one from accessing the full power of their authentic Being, which is what self-actualization is truly all about. Abraham Maslow created a pyramid shape diagram to present these levels, which is called Maslow's Triangle.

What causes people to wake up and smell the coffee is not coffee, but rather pain and suffering. Ironically, the many have been conditioned to tolerate pain and suffering to a degree that is quite mind blowing, once you step out of your own imprisonment. But, this is what self-loathing does to a person, because this is at the root of why we choose to fit in and conform. One has to hate themselves (fear themselves) in order to go against authentic Being. And this is what basically occurs in early childhood. We are not loved for the authentic Being we are, and are forced into not Being, not responding to Being. Instead we are imprisoned into cultural conformity of Doing what others expect of us, and this occurs on the physical, emotional, mental, sexual, creative levels, all geared to shut down one's authentic Being and spiritual connection.

Once this has been accomplished by family, friends, religion, education, politics, government, and business, then one becomes dis-empowered, meaning their higher consciousness has been effectively lowered on an energetic level, for this is what consciousness is; Kundalini. These chakras are power centers, consciousness centers, and until one clears out the energetic blocks to gain full access, then one is destined to live for the approval of other. Once a person is empowered, then one begins the process of raising their consciousness and energy levels to be "empowered." There is no limit to this power, but it is not be used to harm others. It is not something one does, it is something one is; BEING. While this may seem absurd to the many, it is by far the most powerful aspect one could ever BE.

True Being is like a brilliant Sun in a place of vast darkness, and this is what the current Earth plane is. The entire energetic structure is under attack by the dark, wanting to ensure it stays in a lower vibrational state. Unfortunately for the dark, once the light is significantly ignited, it cannot be touched by the dark anymore. Your light is like a shield and that is all one need wield, and it is done via radiating compassion via the heart center. Compassion is the Divine, is what radiates from this center and it is our greatest pleasure to allow our Divine Mother/Father to enter into the world with their Divine light shining out into a dark world. Nothing can harm this Divine presence.

This is called living from the heart, having one's heart open, loving unconditionally, shining your light, BEING. And the humorous aspect of this is that it requires nothing on our part to do, it is what we are already from within, which is our true source of BEING. Learning to let go is the first order of business, for holding onto the patterns, the rules, the beliefs that limit your Being, is what causes the light, your consciousness, and your Being to be imprisoned in pain and suffering. All of this is caused by guilt, shame, and fear, and while they may seem like simple words, their ability to imprison authentic Being is evident the world over. It's that simple, but the egoic mind loves to create vast oceans of illusions and delusions, all meant to distract and imprison.

You've seen the bumper stickers that state, "Kill Your Television,"? Within our mind is a television screen so to speak, of which the egoic mind plays endless charades on billions of channels, designed to draw you into delusional programming of what ifs, both past and future oriented, and we get hypnotically drawn into this inner Tele-set and are so caught up in the imaginal programming, that we cannot tell the difference between past and future, because one is not "present," to experience it. If everyone were present, one would see a great deal of joy, bliss, ecstasy, and peace in the world. The world is our mirror and it is showing us exactly what the many are creating by their thoughts. This is fact, the world is a reflection, it a living movie set if you will. 

The simple truth is that we are creator beings who have been distracted and imprisoned in our childhood to live our lives out in pain and suffering at the hands of something other than love. The beauty is that there is no prison, other than the prison of the mind, and the pain and suffering arise from the thoughts we have been conditioned to entertain. The world entertain comes from old French entre, among + tenir, to hold. Interesting that we come back to holding something and if you recall, I mentioned we need only learn to let go. What thoughts we entertain or hold onto, create a particular reality know?

If you look out into the reflective mirror of the world, you will see a vast entertainment process going on from the very small to the very large, and yet it is all interconnected. So, one can see that history/herstory, has been an ongoing creative struggle by the forces of light and dark. The Light pushes one way and the dark the other. What is required is balance. Balance arises when we have transformed those aspects that are out of balance. Love seeks to build and fear seeks to destroy. What is needed is coming back to what fear is:

Fear of not getting what we want.

Fear of not being good enough.

Fear of being hurt.

Fear of being abandoned. 

If we understand these four constructs, we can begin to see what is driving most people on this planet. If you look at the bigger picture, moving out to see the whole world with this dance going on with light and dark. Violence is the underlying principle, of which is rooted in fear, because fear is the only thing that drives one to harm another, to imprison another, to steal from another or to deny another the right to their own sovereignty. When we look at all the various forms of governments, it is not the governments who are causing pain and suffering, it is those individuals who occupy those positions, who are driven by dark forces within their own psyches.

What is this violence, because it too originates as an inner violence first, before it emerges out into the world in the form of negative actions. All thought forms are energy forms, and this energy has an originating point and ultimately a destination point. All energy is conscious, therefore none of it is dead; there is no such thing as death as we have been made to believe on this particular planet. If violence is fear, and fear is resistance, then what is this resistance force and whom/what does it belong to, where does it arise from? These are important questions to ponder on, to quest on.

What are thoughts and where do they emanate from? Which one's does one focus on? If all energy is vibrational, then what particular vibration resonates with you and why? What is the pay off for holding onto one particular frequency? I have experienced some incredibly high levels of consciousness that were simply ecstatic like nothing that currently exists on this planet. It is what I spend most of my moments focusing on to let go to, because it is all about letting go. And what if this fear is all about letting go, of fear of the unknown, or fear of something greater than oneself

And if this latter were the case, the fear of something greater than oneself, then it might be that there are aspects of the Oneness that went off on their own and became enamored with the idea of power. Perhaps these aspects of God/Goddess, having tasted their creative powers to create and destroy, or rather to dis-assemble matter, got caught up in a power struggle, and it is this ongoing dance of those creator beings who rather than serving the Divine, became self-serving. Rather than letting go to the Divine and sharing in the beauty of interacting with all Beings, they decided to hold onto what they deemed as theirs to own.

In the greater scheme of things, if you look at the paradigm on this planet, it is very much about ownership; mine. It goes back to that idiotic game the many play mentioned in the first posting of August at the top. This mindset comes from some inner space that dictates this sort of limited reasoning. The Establishment has been around on this planet in one form or another for many ages, and they are self serving souls. One doesn't cause harm to another without causing harm to oneself. And of late, I have been pondering on what quite a few have written about pertaining to most cultures being sado-masochistic in nature.

Without getting into deeper aspects of this, suffice it to say that being forced to abandon authentic Being, lowers our consciousness, our energy, so that over time we forget the higher states of light, as we learn to cope with lower densities. In time we forget those high states, and who amongst us can remember our early years, since most of us submerged those childhood years because they were unbearable. I'm specifically meaning forgetting the light, forgetting where we came from prior to birth. I have had openings where I remembered coming in, as well as remembering prior to coming here, and know that many have come in conscious.

Over time we are conditioned and trained to the point that we go unconscious, lose authentic Being connection, and have complete amnesia to those higher states, and so we identify only with what we know on planet Earth; various levels of dysfunction, where the many live in various modes of guilt, shame, and fear; all of these are inhibitors of consciousness. It is no accident that sex is taboo and limited to a particular spectrum of behaviors, because those in the know understand that consciousness is directly related to sexuality, and sexual energies. If one were to understand fully what sexual energy is and how to use it to navigate consciously to higher states of consciousness, one would have a direct experience of the Divine. 

These higher states of consciousness are joyous, ecstatic, and blissful. The numerous times I have experienced them, have left me with the realization that sex on this planet is a joke in its current state. And the clincher is you don't have to have sex to channel into them, for if one is just completely open, one is naturally tapped into this joyous, blissful, ecstatic state, because this is what the Universe is made of. If you think I am kidding, then look at the very young, they are tapping into it, for they are it, just as we were at some point, before we were forced into abdicating our connection to the Divine.

Haven't you ever wondered who comes up with these ideas of how to disconnect human beings from authentic self? How did someone know that circumcising infant males could cause a surge of pain through the entire body, causing spiritual trauma? People were tapping into some guidance to give them this twisted information, because it just didn't happen by accident. The same thing with the Inquisition by the Catholic church and all the sordid acts they did towards others to wipe out awareness and take away women's power as spiritual beings. The story we have been told is missing a lot of information, and insisting that all one needs is one book for all the answers is complete non-sense.

The answers are only going to be found within.


8.17.08 -

Here's a link to an article entitled,

"Spiritual Courage Is Remembering Who We Are."


8.31.08 -

Sharon Astyk’s Ruminations on an Ambiguous Future

It's the last day of August, and I haven't been writing much, focusing more inwardly as more and more realizations arise. I have given up "thinking" that it will stop at some point, but the Universe, the Divine takes "forever" to know, or rather to let go to and dance with all the grace one can muster. What is grace? Look up what it means and ponder on it. Paul Williams said, "If not for the grace of God, we would not be God."

I have been overflowing with understanding as I continue to let go of what no longer serves my highest good. I don't have much energy left to do anything but sit with what arises. It is phenomenal and beyond words at present. To try and explain it to another, well there aren't enough words to describe what is essentially beyond words as direct experience. The madness continues on around us as the many hurry to find a group that identifies with their limited belief systems, trying to avoid having to look within.

I had a recent conversation with my father the other day and it allowed me to a better understanding of what I endured as a spirited Being confined to a small body in my early years. What stands out from all we talked about is this idea he and others have about those who are the opposite of their chosen beliefs. Conservative, liberal, and all points in between are limited, when one begins to realize that their infinite points beyond that small spectrum of consciousness, leading all the way up to the Divine.

And by the way, there is no up or down, it is irrelevant, since everything we know is constantly spinning and rotating, going through ongoing changes of orientation. Depending on what planet one inhabits, one could be spinning clockwise or counter clockwise. The more one begins to look beyond the limitations of cultural beliefs, one begins to be aware of a greater perspective and politics is the same. The idea of right and wrong is essentially the same way, if looked at from the point of dysfunction versus functionality. And of course, the many really believe they are "right" in their particular viewpoints.

There is a lot more to open to and unfortunately most cannot conceive of anything beyond their comfort zones, which is why it is so hard to break from routine, habit, or what one gets a payoff from; whether that be monetary, emotional, or some other aspect that brings a sense of security. I continue to learn about this false sense of security, as I am being led to let go further and further, till I think I am going to burst, and yet I don't, because our consciousness expands into the greater consciousness of the Divine.

One has to let go of preconceived ideas that make one comfortable, and unfortunately, it is this false comfort that is ego driven, and which is so hard to identify and confront. All the reactions towards change or differences do not originate from authentic Being, but from unauthentic ego constructs. As change occurs, rather than reacting to it, ask yourself what is different and why does it bring up such a reaction/charge. What fear is being triggered is the essential question upon which to contemplate:

Fear of not getting what one wants

Fear of not being good enough

Fear of being hurt

Fear of being abandoned


I get a sense that the order of these fears are chronological in importance, and that the last two are the core issues of fear. Look at these, because they are important to navigate oneself successfully out of imprisonment of egoic life as we have been living it. This idea of not getting what we want and doing whatever it takes to get it, is derived from a feeling of not being good enough, but it is also rooted in fear of being hurt. And if we can begin to fathom this understanding directly to our own lives, we can see how they all can lead to a fear of being abandoned.

Let's say one is wanting to be loved, and we have those who are in our circle of so called "friends", then if we step out of line with their belief systems, they might not like us or support us anymore. So we learn to be selective to accepted norms. By the same token, if we step out of line and say something or do something that is not the norm, the backlash, subtle or not so subtle, can cause us pain and suffering, which can trigger a sense of not being good enough. All of these are interactive and triggered by differing contexts at different times.

At the same time, none of them are valid, because at the core of our authentic Being, fear is absent all the time. There is no fear because all we are is love. No if ands or buts. And yet the many will argue up and down that this is not so, and this is indicative of egos attempts to dominate over the expression of authentic Being. Fear and awareness are two vastly different things. To fear something is to be unconscious of a greater awareness that would bring a higher perspective to one's understanding.

An example of this that I am going through at the moment, has to do with compassion. Spirit keeps presenting this to me time and again, when I get upset about the things that people do in their unconscious states. I get angry or annoyed about someone's dysfunctional actions or responses and spirit is right there to remind me to not take it personally. And Spirit is right, it is just my egoic construct trying to distract my consciousness away from my authentic Being. I don't stay angry very long, and I am appreciative of having a deeper awareness to hear Spirit's voice amongst the distracting lesser voices that show up from time to time to distract.

So, I am constantly learning to not react, to stay present, and to be alert to the antics of ego, the trickster, the joker, or any other name for those aspects meant to stop one from Being authentic. The recent Batman movie is an excellent movie that portrays this ongoing struggle within one's psyche over what will dominate our consciousness. What are each of you choosing in any given moment to identify with? Why do you make those particular choices? I make no judgments about, but invite you to find out why you are choosing particular outcomes and asking you to look at what the payoffs are. 

Do those payoffs leave you feeling authentic? Most people are not even aware of the choices they make and why. The awareness of why is quickly blocked and suppressed by the dominating negative psyche forces from within. Awareness in and of itself just is; awareness is consciousness fully present without filters; it is what it is. Awareness is altered by egoic aspects to filter out any truths that would go against a false construct of reality. False constructs deny the rights of others to be true to their authentic Being. Authentic Being arises from ones own sovereign right to Be, while respecting the others sovereign right to be; which means we do not force others in any form or manner to our way of Being.

What this means is we come to appreciate differences, we learn to respect the other person's limitations, without needing to change them to feel comfortable with our choices. In an authentic world, we would completely respect others choices, no matter if they differ from our or not. Our current world operates the exact opposite of this. In dysfunctional OZ, disrespecting ourselves arises when we don't respect our own authentic Being and we are wooed away from it by egoic forces that originate in self-hatred/self-loathing. It is from this originating negating forces that one begins to disrespect others. In the current manifestation of consciousness on this planet, disrespect is the norm and is accepted as normal behaviors. It's insanity.

Your choices are limited to the level of awareness you are present too. Are you making choices based on the past, present, or future? When your pain and suffering becomes greater than your fear of changing, then and only then, will you be willing to make the necessary changes. This is how it is and has always been. It is up to each and everyone of us to become aware of our pain and suffering, and to step out of our pain and suffering, so as to allow the flow of authentic Being. When we do this, when we align with our higher self, then joy, bliss, peace, and ecstasy are our gifts of naturally being in the flow of the Divine, or the flow of life, or the flow of the Universe; what you call it is irrelevant, what the direct experience is all that is really essential

Once one has felt this direct experience, you immediately realize in the flow of that experience how cheap and shallow your life has been up to that revealing moment. One suddenly realizes how much of a lie one has been living, how much one has been giving up and denying as a spirit of light. The rudeness and abruptness of the realization makes one aware of how scrunched up they have been, how they have been cringing, and denying, and blocking, a greatness that is priceless beyond anything culture has to offer; whether that be material goods or power.

The only power worth having is Being in the direct flow of the Divine, Being true to oneself, and knowing that you are beyond measure. This power cannot be bought or sold and is meant to bring peace, harmony, and balance into the world. This power is meant to rid any reality of pain and suffering, for pain and suffering exist only to deny the ultimate reality of the Divine Light. Spiritual power is corrupted when one covets it, desires to own it and to accrue more of it. The inevitable outcome of this coveting is that consciousness falls to lower levels.

Those in power in Church and State are the ones who have been responsible for leading the unconscious masses further away from the light. What they worship is power above all else. Look around at what you are witnessing and living with; actions and outcomes do not lie. Pain and suffering exists because the system we have been living by is absolutely corrupted. The only way out of this mess is to wake up, align with authentic Being, for it knows the way out of the madness. Spirit knows where all the open doors and windows are, knows where the weaknesses are in the egoic walls of confinement.

This does not require any loss really, because what one is losing is worthless. That is the lie we have all been taught, that all these people, places, and things are more important than our self worth. This makes no sense to one who is unconscious, because the many have bought into this lie for thousands of years. The many are so identified with fear that what they believe to be love is only a lesser degree of fear, rather than love itself. If fear is on one side of the scale and love on the other, the midpoint is where one begins to experience love.

Humankind is at the far extreme of the scale. If the full scale is represented by 12 inches, then six inches is where the midpoint is. Humanity currently resides within the 1 inch mark. If one move a 1/64th of an inch, then this is what we could call conditional love, for it is still within the range of conditions. Once you experience the midpoint and begin to move further towards the other end of the ruler, one begins to experience a vast differences that suddenly brings awareness to the fact that love truly is unconditional, and requires nothing on your part to have and experience, for it arises quite naturally and freely from within the divine source each of us has within our core Being.

Living in that 1 inch of consciousness is what causes pain and suffering, because it requires one to make limited choices and we are not a limited Being. I'm reminded of the book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach. If you haven't read do so and if you have read it before, read it again. Every time I re-read it, I understand and see a greater aspect I had not been aware of. Waking up is not static, it is an ongoing process of opening to greater and greater levels of awareness. This process is staggering until one gets the egoic mindset sufficiently out of the way to allow the natural process to flow uninhibited.

I have to admit that I still struggle with this, because I keep looking backwards from time to time, and one cannot do this and expect to move forward. It is like climbing a sheer mountain rock face, where you are climbing inch by inch, carefully finding foot and hand holds to get to the next level. If one has a fear of falling, this sort of action can be lethal, and this is a metaphor of what it is like when we get caught up in egoic draws to the past or future. All there is in any moment is now. When we are in the now, we are fearless and are able to climb to incredibly unheard of heights.

This is our destiny. What you "think" you will lose is an illusion of vast proportions.


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