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December 2009



12/13/09 - 


"The strange and beautiful thing about now is that it never leaves you and it doesn't change, the field of now. Because the essence of now is the unconditioned consciousness, the field in which all phenomena happen."

        - Eckhart Tolle



Now is all there is, as there is no other. I was just reading about radicals in mathematics, specifically the square roots of 1 and -1; where as -1 is based on imaginary numbers. I'm looking at mathematics as it relates to our consciousness, where as most of the enculturated are living in a finite reality based on imaginary numbers that don't exist. True reality is not negating, has no need to negate itself as it is:


1 or One


The square of Radical One is One. There is no other, and yet there exists a wave and particle. Science will have risen from it's infancy when it begins to stop separating itself from the whole. The separation of science from religion was an essential step away from the dogma of religion over what reality was going to be. But, science has the disgrace of having the same dysfunction as religion, of the need to control and have power over another for a sense of security. 


The need to manipulate is about control and when one has learned self-control, then one will no longer need to control something outside the self. The way out of this mess, is to embrace the wholeness.


Spirit has been assisting me in remembering my source and as such, the term power needs to be conceptualized in a way that makes sense spiritually; power over another is different from power over one's self. Authenticity is one's spiritual power and hence has no need to use power over another. Letting go is the realm of Chaos, of which Chaos theory is attempting to understand through scientific experimentation. Science in and of itself is rooted in curiosity and inquisitiveness, which is the realm of playfulness. 


Actually it should be understood that science is based on groups of dysfunctional human beings who perceive reality based on their limited ability to let go, just as religion does. Each "mind set" is wanting to understand and make sense of what they don't understand, and because neither is rooted in the light, they are biased by their collective fear, guilt, and shame. There are different interpretations of what  means, and rather than give a short concise meaning, which is an egoic tendency. I want to share this particular historical aspect of what religion used to mean in Latin; sourced from Wikipedia: Religion:

“Religion and the body politic”

"A good understanding of the meaning of Christianity before the word "religion" came into common usage can be found in St. Augustine's writing. For Augustine, Christianity was a disciplina, a "rule" just like that of the Roman Empire. Christianity was therefore a power structure opposing and superseding human institutions, a literal Kingdom of Heaven. Rather than calling one to self-discipline through symbols, it was itself the discipline taught by one's family, school, church, and city authorities.[8] However at this point the root of the English word "religion", the Latin religio, was in use only to mean "reverence for God or the gods, careful pondering of divine things, piety" (which Cicero further derived to mean "diligence"[9]); in other words, there was no sense of a "system" nor even of the Christian power structure but only of spirituality.[10] Max Müller characterized many other cultures around the world, including Egypt, Persia, and India, as having a similar power structure at this point in history. What we would call religion today, they would only call "law".[11]

As Christianity became commonplace, the charismatic authority identified by Augustine, a quality we might today call "religiousness", had a commanding influence at the local level. This system persisted in the Byzantine Empire following the East-West Schism, while Western Europe regulated unpredictable expressions of charisma through the Roman Catholic Church. However, as the Church lost its dominance during the Protestant Reformation and Christianity became closely tied to political structures, religion was recast as the basis of national sovereignty, and religious identity gradually became a less universal sense of spirituality and more divisive, locally defined, and tied to nationality.[12] It was at this point that "religion" was dissociated with universal beliefs and moved closer to dogma in both meaning and practice. However there was not yet the idea of dogma as personal choice, only of established churches."

I've highlighted the key phrase, but the fullness of the rest of the article brings greater clarity of understanding, as we can see how this has effected history/herstory. There has been this struggle for millennia of dominance of masculine energy consciousnesses over feminine energy consciousness. The domination of one gender over another is indicative of this, as it has been the food for cultural creations, based on domination over one or the other. I'm not here to discuss the pros and cons, for those are evident in the world; self-hatred, self-loathing which gives rise to fear, shame, and guilt. The best way to explain this is with an image of an experience on a rope course with the instructor who was a female of my age and height and weight. 

This particular course requires each person to get up on their own cable, which as you can see starts out being very close and gradually spreading outwards away from each other. You literally have to hold onto each other in order to keep from falling off the cables. This difficult situation best describes the struggles between feminine and masculine energy consciousnesses, each wanting to dominate and focus on self-preservation, and from a gender context, we can see how this has played out in the world.

The course requires the partners to continue moving outward. As this plays out, the space gets wider between the cables, and each person begins to have to extend the arms to maintain their balances, as each person is seeking to take care of themselves. The further out you go, each person is still holding onto the other for fear of falling, and soon one starts sticking their butt out to keep some sort of balance, which is comical to watch and to do. 

Eventually you come to a stand still since each person is trying to stay balanced on their cable/rope. At this juncture, my instructor and I were holding on to each others hands, with our butts sticking out trying to continue out on the cables that had spread about 5' apart. She stopped us and asked me what I felt like, and I said I was afraid to trust her for fear of falling. She said this is a similar experience for both parties doing this course. She asked me to trust that she would hold me up and that I do the same for her. We stopped trying to maintain our individual balance all on our own, and in "supporting" each other, we proceeded to balance each other to move to the end of the course. 

In that moment of letting go and trusting, an awareness rose in me about what trust meant for me then. In 2006, I was doing a four day retreat by the ocean. I was looking out off shore at this rock formation and realized that it was formed very much like how the instructor and I did the ropes course, with each rock leaning into the other. At this point I was informed that the masculine and feminine lean into each other, each trusting implicitly that the other will support them. What came to me was Shakti and Shiva, or God and Goddess if you will, but they aren't humans, so there is no gender, only these two forces that came to the realization that each one needed the other to be in harmony and balance.

This was and still is my understanding of these two consciousness, as they were birthed from the ONE. Everything you see, feel, eat, breath, touch is all One Being. There have been some interesting clues about spirit that one can see in the world. We have been brainwashed into thinking that there are only two sexes for example. In fact, this is not the case at all, as it relates to those who are Intersexed or hermaphrodite; of two sexes. In biology, we know from one cell came two, as the DNA split itself into a mirror image. This is my understanding of the term GOD/GODDESS, from the one came two; a spiritual splitting in order for life to come into existence. Existence therefore is derived from these two. But is there a really a splitting, a separation?

In the bigger scheme of things, there is no separation. Only the intellect is obsessed with this need to compartmentalize reality to the nth degree. The intellectual mind causes an illusion by filtering the senses by distracting one's attention into the realm of habitual non-stop thinking. There is no end to the Divine as the many would like to think. The need for an end comes when one rids themselves of their insanity born of reason alone without the heart/spirit. One cannot obliterate life; EVER. I have had several profound experiences of the Oneness. These mystical experiences startled me out of my egoic non-sense each time. Theses were opportunities to realize the profoundness of God/Goddess. The first time was in 1998, where I experienced myself, as well as the other three people I was in the forest with. The experience was like looking out my eyes as well as theirs in different directions simultaneously. The second time was while at a Christmas party in 1999 standing in the kitchen with several others. I was sober while they had all been drinking. We were talking and suddenly I experienced all of us simultaneously. During this particular experience, I wondered if they knew I was experiencing them. The next time was October 2000 while sitting in a college class with 30 plus students in a circle with the teacher. Each of these experiences shared a common denominator of experiencing the others and seeing what they were seeing. A painting I did back in 1996 gives a rough idea of what this was like. In the painting you can see three different squares with yellow beams streaming out. Two of them have a single beam (individual consciousness), while the third has three.

While this may sound ridiculous, there are other ways this presents itself, such as having an empathic experience of feeling another's pain. I have had this happen a couple of times. The first time was on a temp assignment while living in Oakland. I began to have an intense headache and couldn't figure out what the cause was. At some point the young woman sitting across from me said to the others, "I've got the worst headache." The next moment my headache was gone. I found out later that she was using a particular drug to lose weight and it was one of the side effects of the drug. The other time was while camping out on the beach on the ocean. A person walked by about 60 feet away from me, going along the beach, and instantly my knees buckled as I felt his emotional pain. The pain was so overwhelming that I started to cry. He continued walking on and a few minutes later I heard a woman call out his name. I looked to my left and saw an older couple coming after him and realized it was his parents that were the cause of his pain.

I share these experiences because their are others out there who have experiences that will not be accepted by those whose minds and hearts are entrenched in limited thinking (fear). Those who live in their intellectual minds are caught up in very miniscule perceptions/perspectives of the world. These intellectual parameters block out the fullness of reality. These parameters are like a rigid program that follows very specific pathways of programmed thoughts/beliefs based on cultural information defining what is acceptable and what is not. One only need look throughout history to see the varied sorts of insanity that occurred within the various groups of cultural beliefs about other cultures. And this non-sense still continues on even today in the United States.

People walk about in their heads completely shut off from their bodies, unable to feel the fullness of their feelings and emotions. Religion has prospered well in teaching people to deny the body, to avoid sexual pleasure, using guilt, shame, and fear, along with intellectualized education to train people to live in their heads in thought. The intellectual mind will convince you this is not the case, but I can assure you there is so much more to living outside of the head. If I was wrong, then there would be no pain and suffering in the world. All one need do is look within themselves, but this is not something the many can do as they will find any excuse to avoid this at all cost. Or, if one is fearful of looking within themselves, then one can look out into the world and see all the pain and suffering occurring. 

And the irony of this second choice is that those infected with intellectualism always have amazing answers as to why the other's pain and suffering exists. Some would have you believe you need to follow a particular set of beliefs and belong to a particular group and your life will be happy ever after. All of these ways are based in believing, acting, doing, getting, fitting in, obeying some other outside person or group dynamics.

When a person is ready to see beyond the prison of the intellectual, then a crack in their perceptual walls will begin to crumble the veils for them to see beyond the darkness they have inhabited. The Divine is always expressing itself all around us in the world, because it is the world. There is nothing that is not the Divine grace of God/Goddess. There are no lies in this realm as there is no need to deny the beauty, grace, and compassionate love of non-judgment. The divine does not judge us ever. The only one's doing the judging are the individuals caught up in their intellectual processes.



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