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December 2014



12-01-14 -



Inequality is not the root of evil. Believing and thinking and living in the head is what obliterates awareness. It is the only sin, and it is not a matter of evil, because that is just another concept created by the mind, to avoid awareness. Thinking isn't a mistake, it's a tool for interacting with others and the world, but it is not awareness, it is not truth, it is not love, peace, compassion or any other conceptualized nonsense. Those aspects are what we are beyond the conceptual facade, beyond the body and mind. And one can experience this by observing the mind, realizing they are the observer, but the observer is nowhere to be found but within. We live in an intellectual nightmare of our own creation because we think our thoughts are real and no amount of disciplined thinking is going to get anyone closer to awareness. Inequality is avoiding awareness and no one can tell you what awareness is, because it can only be experienced.




12-06-14 -


Observations of the Mind


There are times when one can get hit with utter defeat, uselessness, an attitude of why bother, a futility; despondent for what? To be rescued, saved? From what, awareness? Truth? That somehow the truth should be avoided at all cost? What's deciding the cost? What's deciding the variables, the judgments in favor of avoidance?


Yet there's an all pervading stillness there too, that embraces all that pain and suffering the mind creates. All there is, is today, right here and right now that is that stillness. We confuse the stories that everyone is programmed with and who impregnate others with their dis-eases born of reason rather than awareness. The dominant forces in society seek to vaccinate others from awareness, by using thought viruses in their cultural sermons as serums.


Do you see where this is going? Circular nonsense, going around in a circle till it meets the truth of now; presence without thinking or stories. And to avoid presence, the circle begins again and again and again, crafting stories, constructing walls of words, infinite bookshelves lined with more and more books conceptualizing anything to avoid being awake and aware.


That's the sermon induced memorized meme mantras that give rise to pain and suffering. No one bothers to question the reality of pain and suffering, other than applying more fervent thinking and believing. Awareness would reveal the futility of all of these stories believed.


Avoiding story telling, fibbing, pretending, allows authentic presence rather than expression of the sword play of words that entangle one's attention in a proverbial battle of wits; nitwits.

The stillness is always there and if you can begin to focus on it amidst all the mental noise, the mental voices telling stories, then you break the spell that binds us all and begin to break free of the force field of believing the stories rather than presence of awareness.


There is a difference, but one has to give up the nipple of conformity in order to realize you are already free and the mind is but a distraction of a conceptual reality that only exists as real until you stop believing otherwise. History reveals this to be true at every turn as a new truth arises for the believing masses of sheep to let go of what they have known. But, the problem is the grasping on to what they realize each time they stop believing, only to believe all over again in that savior. And it is just like worshiping a savior, as the masses have this propensity for needing to know and it is that knowing and wanting security that is our downfall from awareness. The masses keep looking for story tellers so they can avoid the unknown


Is it no wonder there is such an addiction to thinking and attachments to material things. This is not a judgment against these, but rather an expose of the limitations of such addictions and attachments to anything but the whole truth. Any deviation from the truth imprisons one in pain and suffering that arises from the gluttonous consumption of stories. 


On the shuttle bus home from work, I sat across from a mother with her young 3 year old son, who looked at me completely relaxed, open, warm, nonjudgmental, with complete acceptance, while all around me was a full bus of adults busy pining away with constant chatter or extreme focused attention on so called "smart" phones that really aren't that smart, sort of like adults to project their smarts onto machines to avoid taking responsibility for their habitual "foray" from awareness; no eye contact, no truth, no acceptance, no presence outside of reasons why.


foray (plural forays)

  1. A sudden or irregular incursion in border warfare; hence, any irregular incursion for war or spoils; a raid.
  2. A brief excursion or attempt especially outside one's accustomed sphere.

I find the definition for foray extraordinarily on the mark for describing what the movement of thought does, which is in creating a border where none truly exists except in one's head; ThIs AnD tHaT, mE aNd YoU, gOd AnD mE, uS aNd ThEm, RiGhT aNd WrOnG, with the odds of separation increasing as more words and phrases and beliefs are added to ensure border skirmishes, clashes, wars, and violence born of reason.


But I digress, so I'm walking home from the shuttle stop and I feel like a Stranger in a Strange Land (read the book to understand where I'm coming from). Like who are these people acting all around me, pretending to be the sum total of their beliefs rather than infinite wave expressions. Yet, I am aware of my own winking in and out from wave to particle in nanosecond intervals interrupted with vast incoming and outgoing tides of awareness that wash away the insanity thought otherwise in those nanosecond blips seeking escape from now. You really have to realize this ongoing process till it erodes your beliefs to the point that you realize you the observer are the surfer boarding the razor's edge effortlessly, because the razor's edge is infinite stillness, completeness, wholeness, silence, eternity, love as awareness unknown.


This is not going to make sense to anyone other than intuitively, so get used to journey's into the unknown with my writings, because the habitual word play needs to be shaken up for the scrabble board game of life that exists outside of one's scripted mental masturbations.


Contemplating the mind games arising via Stealth Mode feigning intelligent thought processes, ordered insanity masking as truth; judging, comparing, discerning, reacting. Wondering what's the purpose, the point, circular thoughts, circular beliefs, circular winds, circular currents of water, of movements, circular planetary movements circled by a moon circling with other planets and moons around a sun that circles and revolves around an ever evolving gravitational gyroscopic galaxy of infinite whirling dervishes, in a quantum collective oscillating endlessly in wild abandon irreverent of expectations resistant to the absolute black hole of the unknown, creation through awareness unknown.


This is a metaphor for the inner and outer as we know it or think we know, when in reality the two are one. We are the omega point that already exists outside of thinking it doesn't.


I sit here like an expectant father, (a verse from Fish), or mother waiting for the incessant birthing that mind seeks to still birth in a chain gang led pied piper style, good stepping into an abyss of darkness plagiarized by an imaginary nobody, a corporate entity singing a phantom of the opera, donning masks moving like the brooms in The Sorcerer's Apprentice.


And I sit here in utter awareness, watching the river of words flowing endlessly; thoughts clinging together like clumps of molecules, seeking to create string theories of delusional holograms.


This thinking is like the nursery rhyme row, row, row your boat, till you realize rowing is optional, which then reveals no need to row at all in the first place, because there is no boat and you are the river. If you see everything as elements, you are able to make the leap out of separation to see that it everything is elements and that's all there is, no you, no me, no them, just oneness.


It's like sitting alone in a large grocery store, offering every imaginable food to choose from and you just sit there and wonder, observing everything and yet nothing, in complete silence and stillness humming quantum dialects unknown, in completeness and wholeness.


As an observation: Belief systems are immense worthless crossword puzzles.


Mind rants and raves, craving this or that and then having consumed quite a bit of this or that, then berates some other self for wasting money or time or effort or pain and suffering on what was wanted and craved for. In observation of this realization arises the thought, I wonder will "I" ever tire of thinking, thinking in an endless charade of a Streetcar Named Desire, the whole prefabricated Broadway show playing to an empty theater of disinterested quantum mass with no particularized dissonance or fanfare.


There's this whole story going on around me in the world and my head is creating another fictitious story about life's story, the perpetual critic laughing like hyenas in the dark circling it's prey; but it's just an endless circle mantra repeating itself, an endless charade of self-defense, creating a house of cards that houses nothing but the stories of who, what, where, when, why, and how the truth of life should be; nothing but the empty words born of reason.


And there's the walking on an endless journey in silence, with fluid creative movements towards a delicate harmony of chaos, like a galaxy walking on stilts in a gravitational stasis chamber masked as a human being.


Mirror, mirror on the wall...




Random Realizations:


The mind is like a critic that's never satisfied.


What would happen if one stopped thinking? Nothing.


The purpose of silence is creation; genesis; and creation is the expression of nothing.




12-07-14 -


"Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear."

          - Harry S Truman





There seems to be a blindness here, because man is in charge of the money. Like the money has a will of its own? Like money is going out raping, killing, polluting, pillaging, discriminating, hating, embezzling, and conniving what to do with itself? Money doesn't selfishly horde itself from others. Man is the culprit in all these actions or lack thereof. Nothing more, nothing less.




A recent experience happened to me that was the perfect teacher for how the mind covers over awareness. I have these containers, one blue, and one red for my Invisalign braces. I was only using the blue one and decided to use the red one to keep in my backpack for when I go out. So, I go home and look in the dresser drawer where I store the red one. Oddly enough I looked throughout the whole draw and was unable to find it. I then proceeded to look throughout my apartment to no avail. Puzzled, I gave up and went to bed. The next day after work, I set out again to look for it. I go through the draw again looking for the red container, pulling out most of the items in the draw, and still no red container. I go through the whole apartment again and still no red container. The next day, I came home from work, and go back to the same drawer I'd looked through three times before and one by one, I took out every single item and put them on top of the dresser. I got to where there were a couple of items left, when I saw this gray case, which was the bottom of the red case. Tada!


I'd been looking for the red and so overlooked the gray.


This may seem irrelevant, but not so, because it illuminates the functioning of the mind in how it covers over the truth right in front of our eyes conceptually. The mind can focus with such pinpoint laser precision on a concept/image as to literally blur everything else around where the mind focuses its attention. Is it no wonder that we are unable to be aware most if not all the time, because the mind is focusing conceptual attention. One then sees only what the mind grasps onto in terms of concepts, thoughts, beliefs; that's the habit, what one is habituated to, the patterned existence that exists only in the mind.


Since then, I've become more aware on the subtle ways the mind does this, whether it be a work task or out in the world, overlaying concepts on people, places, and thing that are not true at all. Is it no wonder that the many are blind to the reality of life, because they are wearing conceptual glasses that distort life to the believed imagined reality; imagination; imagio; fantasy.




12-08-14 -



"Our whole spiritual transformation brings us to the point where we realize that in our own being, we are enough."

          - Ram Dass



Forty Verses on Reality - Sri Ramana Maharshi


Excerpts from Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj's I AM THAT




12-20-14 -


Presence is the only gift worth giving.




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