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February 2013



2-22-13 -


Bus ride home from downtown Seattle:

I was coming home on the bus tonight about 8pm and the bus was packed as it always is on the 70 series of buses to the U-District. While waiting for the bus in the tunnel, I noticed a man in his 30's or younger talking to himself as he paced back and forth. On the bus, it was packed like sardines and I was standing next to him near the back door and he was having this conversation with himself, nothing I could make out clearly. Everyone kept looking at him like he was nuts; not that any of them would've thought they were nuts either per say. As the bus started to empty out, he sat down and he started up a conversation and began to talk about various elements of the stock market and economic planning, touching on many different books and experts. He admitted being a junkie on the stuff and I told him, everyone is a junkie of what thing or another. I just listened realizing I didn't need to say anything, but to just listen. He pulled out various printouts of information, articles, book lists on the subjects until he needed to get off the bus. I returned the papers to him and told him to take care of himself.

After he left I sat down, and I was touched on some level on how so many people judge those like that, and I have too and at times, my mind will jump in there with the best of them till I bring awareness to the mind and it sort of dribbles off as the silence sheds awareness on the problem. When I got off the bus, and walked to my apartment, it occurred to me that many on that bus judged the man, but when you really get down to the truth of the issue, EVERYONE does this in their own heads. At least the man was authentic in not hiding it, while everyone was acting as if they are above that sort of nonsense. Yet, if one really observes the mind, it never shuts up, always has something to say about something, and most of it has nothing to do with the truth; the whole truth. I saw this with such clarity that it was humbling in a way I'd not experienced before with a depth that embraced the depths of my existence. I saw all the times I'd been quick to point out those who were like that, yet my own mind had me by the you know what for years, thinking and believing in the same sort of nonsense everyone else had abdicated to long ago while growing up into good model citizens of one sort of fantasy or another; call it an obsession with thinking along the lines of conforming to one form or another of a story that needed to be believed beyond questioning; our anchor to being accepted into the insane ideologies of a past long gone and a future that never ever gets to the present moment; and that was and is the whole point of reference in obsessive compulsive thinking and believing ad nauseum. And is it no wonder the many are enthralled with stories in book form or movies or TV sitcoms or soap operas, a craving for them that defies awareness; a turning away from our own BEING. Such a subtle subterfuge of imagination locked in mortal combat with what IS. The idea thinking a story is better than BEING. LOL!

The many like to THINK they KNOW the truth and if one could tap into someone's mind, they'd find their circuits blown with all the distortions and delusions front and center. I've had the displeasure of having that occur on several occasions and the word overwhelming doesn't even begin to even come close to the actual experience of experiencing another's pain and suffering; not in a million years could anyone guess at what that would be like until one finally begins to crack open the door of their own awareness. Completely clueless to the caustic contents of their own minds, even those who BELIEVE otherwise; those are the ones who are completely deluded in their irrational discourse with thinking, completely enthralled with the stories being dispensed like Pavlov's bell ringing non-stop.

I have no awareness as to whether or not humanity is going to wake up sufficiently in time, because it really doesn't look good the more I wake up and yet I continue to see a beauty that shines otherwise amidst the chaos of a world gone mad obsessed with a material vanity with a distaste for mirrors on the wall, that reveal their own delusions. All that we attach ourselves to have a cause and effect of vast proportions on our awareness and it is quite profound how the mind manages to swim in pain and suffering as if it were a bed of roses. The more one clings, the more the thorns of the rose dig deeper, seeking to impale itself away from truth of being.

Judgment day is always upon us at every moment as the mind seeks to sustain its stories. The one looking in the mirror, the mirror itself, and the reflection are all reference points towards the Oneness of Being. If only the many could realize they are quite capable of swimming in the ocean of life without a life preserver. Being naturally floats with the buoyancy of awareness. It is so simple as to be utterly disregarded as nonsense and so the story goes on and on and on; where it stops nobody KNOWS!



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