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January 2006

 

 

1-03-06 -

Happy Old Year and Happy New Year! Our past comes along with us by the choices we made. What we created last year is what we will have to wrestle with this year in regards to ironing out what works and what doesn't work.

 

My trip to Minnesota was interesting and yet I was glad to get back to the Pacific Northwest. I got to play Frisbee golf in the snow, which was quite interesting. I lost my disc on the first hole and we spent a half hour looking for it. After that we spotted each other's throws, with two people spread out, and then the rest of the 18 holes were a lot of fun. I got to play a lot of darts and pool, which I don't normally do, because most places that have them are not smoke free. These places were and Minneapolis just happened to be smoke free; Nice. My friend Steve also took us to an indoor climbing wall. That was a blast! They have these winches you hook into that are spring loaded, able to support up to 5,000 lbs. You hook up to it and then climb. If you fall or get to the top, you just let go and it safely and slowly descends you to the floor. They have various walls of differing abilities to climb on, so I had my fill of many different types of challenges. The most challenging and fun were the cracks, which were cracks in the walls simulating cracks in real life rock climbing. I'd seen some people do these on TV and so got to use my feet and hands as wedges to climb up the wall; that was really enjoyable because you had to be creative and constantly aware and present. There were all ages of people there and it as just an amazing thing to watch. I also managed to get there when it was warm and then have a snow storm, which then turned to rain. I got to miss all the really really cold weather.

 

Now that I am back here in Bellingham, school starts tomorrow with biology on my plate. The year will be full of working FT and getting my prerequisites out of the way and then moving to Portland for school in the Fall. I am looking forward to leaving Bellingham and living somewhere else. I hope to get back into painting, something that I seem to not make time for. Time has been rather odd lately, it doesn't go fast, yet I don't seem to get much accomplished? Weird! If you get the chance, go see the movie Narnia. What an incredible movie. I was so deeply moved by this movie, it touched something very deep within my being. I'm going to go see it again. If I had been at home watching this movie, I would've sobbed big time. The same thing with the movie Polar Express. Every time I watch it I get all emotional.

 

While wasting time waiting for my flight to Minnesota, I was browsing the books for sale in one of the airport's stores. I found a new book by Deepak Chopra called, "The Book of Secrets: unlocking the hidden dimensions of your life." I've started reading it and it is just an amazing book.

 

It's getting late and I have to go get my laundry, so I'll write more later.

 

The choices this year are the same as they were last year and for all the past eons; follow your heart or follow your ego.

Count your blessings!

 

 

 

1-04-06 -

 

For some reason I forgot to post this new movie that is coming out, sort of in the same vein as What the Bleep, only more interesting. Here's the link for the website and check out the movie trailer: http://www.onethemovie.org/ Here's a short bleep about its content:

 

Announcing ONE... The Movie


"Backyard Indy-Film from the Midwest May Just Serve as a 'Wake-Up' Call for Humanity"

Thich Nhat Hahn, Deepak Chopra, Robert Thurman, Riane Eisler, Ram Dass and others Answer Life's BIG Questions.

This film asks the big questions of life to people on the street and to many of the world's most renowned and respected spiritual leaders, authors, icons and celebrated masters including, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Father Richard Rohr, Llewellyn Vaughn-Lee, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, Father Thomas Keating and B.T. Swami with comment from His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

What types of questions do these spiritual masters answer? What happens to you after you die? Describe God. When is war justifiable? What is the meaning of life? How would God want us to respond to aggression and terrorism? And more...

As baby boomers mature and a new generation of 'meaning seeking'
movie-goers flood into the movies houses in search of films that challenge convention, inspire thought and stir the soul, this backyard film from the Midwest that has been called a "deeply moving film," may just help unite humanity.

In the spring of 2002 Ward M. Powers suddenly awoke in the middle of night with an idea that called him to action. He needed to make a film that would express to all of humanity the importance of understanding our interconnectedness... a film that would communicate the idea that WE ARE ALL ONE. Powers, a Detroit-area trial attorney who had never done any film making, mail ordered a video camera and embarked on what turned out to be a two-year life-changing odyssey.

The film seemed to have a life of its own. Powers started by asking for help from friends and family but soon, doors opened and support flooded in from all directions. They had no prior experience, industry connections and very little budget, but because of the project's theme they were able to attract an array of technical, creative and production talent required to successfully complete a feature length documentary.

"In an increasingly divided world... the power of ONENESS is longing to emerge," said Powers. "It was this energy and inspiration that we knew would transcend any limitations or difficulties that we might encounter while trying to make this film."

Over the next two years the unlikely crew traveled the country asking 'life's ultimate questions' to Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, the homeless, Sufis, Muslims, street kids, Jews, Taoists, Native Americans, Atheists, philosophers, social architects, prostitutes, mystics, monks, moms, medicine-men, teenagers, working people, and more, capturing wisdom from those in remote monasteries to those in the urban alleyways.

ONE... The Movie, weaves the novice filmmaker's remarkable journey with a tightly edited thematic collage of the interview responses using threads of music and imagery in a style that challenges traditional film genre classifications.

 

I went to school tonight and bought my textbook. Also realized my class was tomorrow night, so went back home. I got into a conversation with the woman at the bookstore about the cost of textbooks. My biology book was $86 and it wasn't even a hard back textbook. I get more and more disgusted with where things are going in this country. Education was supposed to be affordable for everyone at one point. Education was a big priority and it was really cheap. People didn't go into debt to get educated to make a living, nor did the colleges and universities lack funds for buildings, operations, and teachers salaries. Nowadays, the students pay for the buildings, pay outrageous prices for tuition, books, and a host of other fees that get tacked on with no say in the matter.

Teachers no longer get tenured and there is a big move for part-time faculty. The reasons for this are said to be cutting costs. While this may be true, it is also more easier to fire part-time non-tenured teachers who don't tow the political ideology on campus. I think it is hilarious that most colleges and universities profess to be arenas of critical thinking, but that is true only to the extent of those who control what belief system is politically correct or religiously correct. They say ignorance is bliss, but I say ignorance is not bliss. One has to be really shut down in order to ignore truths that are omnipresent. While it is convenient to say it is a blissful state ignoring truth, the reality of this illusion requires and incredible amount of energy to stifle awareness. One has to work really hard and diligent in ignoring how painful it is ignoring the pain of going against authentic self and living in shame, guilt, and fear, while ignoring unconditional love. And living a lie is blissful? Bullshit...

 

So, back to the monopoly on high priced textbooks. I think it is just amazing that textbook publishers and the universities can continue this charade. Makes me wonder what the universities by the books for and what their cut is. I consider it thievery and it mirrors what goes on in politics and big business. I also heard recently that the Republicans in congress passed their bill to cut back student loans. How amazing that they profess to care about people, and yet their actions ensure those who are not well off will not get loans for school to better themselves, so they can be well off. These same Republicans don't mind giving themselves and the rich tax cuts though. How interesting the logic of these individuals. You go to school and they tell you what truth is, they don't teach you how to find your own path to universal truths. Thankfully, I was fortunate enough to get into an alternative college to do that before it too got shut down. I don't think they were prepared for where I went with my education, for it took me beyond the walls, and it has been an intense roller coaster ride to say the least. But I have managed to get back much of my being and the $44,000 in debt so far was well worth the price in doing that.

 

I have been a bit uncomfortable with having to spend $30,000 a year for four years for my classical Chinese medicine degree. That was until I had my talk with my dentist, who told me she had $400,000 in loans for dental school. She called it her house payment. I guess my tab is not so bad. Even so, no wonder health care is so damned expensive, and no wonder more and more people don't have it. We have a crisis in regards to our integrity; the fact is there is less and less of it these days and perhaps there never was any in the first place.

So, with that said, have a good day!

 

 

 

1-09-06 -

 

I had a conversation with a friend recently about living in our society and being present. He told me I was really good about being present and awake. I didn't know whether to take it positively or negatively, because to be honest, it is really challenging at times. Letting go seems to be the only option to alleviate frustration and the pain others live with on an ongoing basis. But, we were born being present as children and we saw all the good, bad, and the ugly through untainted awareness. We used to be present and so I have come full circle and there are days when I sometimes wish I could shut it all out, but that isn't realistic, nor is it going to solve the problem. So, I keep on going, wondering where I am going. Walking down the sidewalks, I pass many people, and the vast majority of them look away or down and if you say hello to them they ignore you as if you were a ghost. Maybe I am a ghost, maybe I died, and they buried me, and the worms came and tickled by toes, laugh I thought I'd die, I did die, they buried me, and the worms they came and tickled my toes, laugh, I thought I'd die...Perhaps the old pre-fabricated Sherman did die, with the masks removed, and the false beliefs stripped away to reveal something beyond the personality that used to be loaded with all the isms of what I ought to be based on the rules of the box. I got tired of the box and now I am for the most part invisible in the world. And I am reminded of how many people are zombie eyed ghosts of intellectualism; Mostly thinking and very little feeling in the heart zone.

 

I spoke to my mother the other day, who lives back in NY, who is living a nightmare with no end in sight with needing to control everything, with a husband who is a real scream who is as much into control as she is and the two of them have gone from loving each other to hating each other; fearing each other. She wants to control what he does because of fear and he needs to be right and threatens her physically from fear. Amazing. Getting her to come to some understanding this last decade has been quite phenomenal to say the least, and only of lately is she beginning to crack the facade that is letting in some tiny piece of light that is shedding some awareness on the fact that something isn't working. How many of us are like this? My father, who divorced my mother back in the late 80's, wound up marrying someone just like my mother; in some ways worse, in others better. The two were a match in heaven, not in the sense of unconditional love, but in needing the other to be a mirror for what they were unconscious to within themselves. I recently contacted my father's sister, who I've not talked to in some years, and found out some important facts about their family life, which shed light on my own family dynamics. It's amazing how we cannot see how we are much like our parents, but this is not so far fetched when one realizes that we had to mimic them in order to get our basic needs met; and we called our family happy and loving?

 

I haven't spoken to my father since early Spring. I'd gotten into a conversation with him about same-sex marriage and wanted to know where he stood on the matter. I have to say I shouldn't have been surprised with his response, but I was, especially when he used Dr. Laura as his credible source of wisdom. I can see now that he was only finding those sources of information for facts that would shore up his own fragile masks. He went on to tell me that the good Dr. believed that "gays" were that way because they didn't have a good family and religious upbringing, that if they had that, they would be normal heterosexuals?! It didn't matter what facts I brought into the conversation or issues the good Dr. had with her own level of awareness, and in the end he told me he would have to vote against same-sex marriage. So, I told him, I was sorry to hear that and would no longer be talking anymore. He said, "You don't need to go to those extremes!" and I told him, "I don't need an ignorant father." I said good bye and hung up the phone. For a time I thought about how I should accept who he is and what he believes. But, it occurred to me at some point that all my life I was forever trying to be what he wanted me to be and hadn't known it, until one day just before I graduated, he'd called up to talk to me at school and asked me what I was learning. When I got done telling him, he went on to lecture me how I needed to watch out for those liberal professors who might brainwash me. How I should listen to Rush Limbaugh and read various conservative newspapers and magazines to get the actual facts and truths. Finally after ten minutes or so of his ranting, I went off on him and his tirade, which ended with us bringing the call to a quick close. Here was my father still thinking he was my father and he was going to tell me what I should be thinking and being; that was a real eye opener for me at that point.

 

To say I was shocked is an understatement. It took a couple of days for it to sink in, to get over the shock how closed minded my father was. To be honest, we hardly ever talked about anything substantial, only because I never thought outside the box he lived in and which he built around me as well. The next day, it sunk in how my first twenty years were based on what I heard in that phone conversation. And as I have continued to question my reality and what I have been taught, I can no longer accept a father who is willingly working against my being me. My own father, who taught me about education and history, who can't even see beyond his own hypocrisy. This is the same guy who I had a heated disagreement over sweat shops in poor countries, where he believed they were paid a fair wage based on their economy. What I never got a chance to say because I was so stunned at his ignorance, would have been, "if their wage is fair, then why don't you go over there and live for a year doing what they do and then tell me if it is fair." Funny how I don't think of these things until afterwards. I finally had had enough of living up to his expectations, and realized that all these years, our relationship has been so superficial as to be almost non-existent. How does one continue a relationship with someone who refuses to support your being who you are as you were meant to be? It came down to my realizing that no matter what I did it was never good enough and to top it, he would make it his business to ensure I can't marry who I love.

 

And for the record, I am not a desire, not a heterosexual desire or a homosexual desire, because I have both within my being. These are the same feelings I have about donuts, but it doesn't make me a donut. I just like them, just like I like certain foods, atmospheres, music, art, books, interests. But they don't define who I am. Beyond the personality is a being that is full of all the essences of spirit. Spirit isn't defined by a penis or a vagina, anymore than it is  male or female and if you "think" it is, that's the problem; thinking. This whole world is a conglomeration of groups of small minded people who are uncomfortable with the full spectrum of feelings within themselves, who lock them all away into the dark recesses of their subconscious where they fester and grow into terrible monsters which they then project out into the world onto unsuspecting human beings. The truth is, there is no ugliness, it is nothing more than an illusion given power by our denial and avoidance of it. I am sure that my father has his own unresolved sexuality issues, which is why he is so diligent at choosing sides with those who think like he does OR have to think that way in order to stay in control of their own boogie monsters. How sad that we have been forced into constricting guidelines of getting our approval from other shut down dysfunctional people. Now that is something worth contemplating on. How much effort do each of us put into being what others want us to be and how much of our soul are we willing to sell into darkness to fit that stifling perfection. The truth of the matter is no matter what we do it will never be enough or good enough. This reflects the inherent flaw in this dysfunctional dance because when we pour all of our energy into being what we are not, we lose who we really are and are in a state of emptying ourselves. We are not full of self because we have emptied self out to be what we are not.

 

I just don't have it in me anymore to give chase to those who want to empty themselves out, nor do I want to be around those who do. And it is ironic that even if I wanted to be around them, I couldn't because people like that don't want to be around people who fill themselves with spirit. That, has been the latest thing to shock me, that they really are not interested in spirit. I have met all sorts of people who are of this stock. I ran into a guy a couple of years ago when I returned to Bellingham, WA. He started talking to me on the street about a new construction project going on. One thing led to another and he was telling me about a near death experience he had and I told him about mine, which led him to ask me if I was a born again Christian. I told him no and he turned and walked away with a scowl on his face. I was so amazed at his theatrics that I just started laughing. And that is how the world operates in just one of millions, if not billions of ways to denying anyone who doesn't live in a particular shaped box. I would rather live alone than live in that box. I lived in that box till one day I could no longer stand it; and I don't have any regrets upon leaving it. I may not have an awful lot of friends, but I have myself and I don't mean that I am better than, only that I can accept who I am as a being beyond this human body I am housed in.

 

We believe we are our body and you know, we aren't. If you read about current information on the senses, you come away with the realization that everything we sense with our five senses is not directly sensed. It comes into the physical surface and then is transferred to organs, which then send it via chemical messengers to the brain, where we think we are seeing or hearing or tasting.  But, that is not how it works. Think of it as a space suit for the environment we live in, a living host organism that allows us to be born into it and train it so we can go out and about into the world and experience life in matter. We wear it as an interface with the world to experience living in another realm of experience. I'm not saying the body is irrelevant for it is alive as well, in ways that we are not even aware of. Read what Deepak Chopra says about the body in his new book, "The Book Of Secrets," you'll see it in a whole new way. Read about out of body experiences and you begin to realize there are those who have experienced being out of their bodies and seeing all around them in 360 degrees. And there are those who can do this without dying. I have had moments with my eyes closed and been able to see those around me in clarity. And if you can't believe that, there are those who are blind who can see. In the book, "Take Off Your Glasses and See," the author writes about a French man who was blind who could see; quite the interesting story if you're willing to look beyond the box. So, how is it we are so caught up in what love should be versus allowing love to just express itself as it is or how it desires to be? What is it about desire that is so frightening to people? I had a class in sexuality or such and the teacher talked about this phobia called erotophobia:

 

"The intense negative reactions to something so simple as people having sex are motivated by a number of underlying factors. One is the prevalence of what Dr. Marty Klein calls "erotophobia". This intense fear of sexuality and its power is not uncommon and is a powerful driving force in many people."

 

I see this erotophobia as a fear of the fullness of life, for life fully lived is sensual beyond belief, it allows one to be aware of all that we are indulged within our body as it interacts with the incredible environment we are enmeshed with. Heaven is here and we act as if it is hell, in fact we have created hell in heaven. Our sexuality is spirituality, is creativity, and they are not so easily separated as we like to "think" they are, which is why we are taught to control our sexuality, to feel ashamed and guilty of it, to fear it as if it were a dis-ease. And this is how people come to be controlled. If one has a healthy attitude about their sexuality, then they are in balance with their inner spirit and when one has these aspects, there is an abundance of creativity to be in the world, to be free of constraints of any kind, and that is the rub with those who are disconnected; dysfunctional; traumatized; frightened; a form of insanity.

 

A further definition from http://eduqna.com/Trivia/4027-trivia-3.html

 

"What is erotophobia? 

Sexual repression leads to sexual obsession which in turn leads to a corruption of the entire sensual substructure of human erotic love. A sexually repressed culture becomes a sexually obsessed culture, which becomes an erotically paranoid culture. People living in an erotically paranoid culture tend to put themselves and others under close scrutiny insofar as erotic activities are concerned. Every erotic act is regarded as a sexual act, and every sexual act is thought to be driven by primarily selfish desires. In this way, a deeply important process by which we ought to nurture each other to grow to our fullest potential becomes all but lost in the chaos of suspicion, inhibition, recrimination, and moral confusion.

A sexually repressive society teaches us to fear our own erotic capacities, leading ultimately to a stunting of our growth. Entire branches of our being cannot fully develop, thus leaving us blind to vast realms of being left unexplored and undeveloped."

As Paul Williams says:

"refuse to have anything to do with any thing "like a nation or person or corporation" that seeks to grow wealthier rather than healthier, larger rather than truer. Do nothing to contribute to that cancerous growth. Isolate it. Let it die."

 

"The affirmation of one's own life--the acceptance of one's destiny as it manifest itself in each moment--is the supreme act of faith. It's incredibly fucking easy. It's a hell of a commitment."

 

"Nothing is more important than doing what is right. That is so absurdly obvious that most people pay no attention to it. Most people seem to think that what is obvious is beneath them. They pass up truth in favor of something more intellectually stimulating."

 

"It is never difficult to feel what is right. Sometimes, perhaps, there seems to be a conflict between two things to do that both feel right. When this happens to you, accept it as a message that you are not in tune with your self. Do not try to make a decision. Relax, and allow your feelings to take over. You are a precision instrument, and you can always feel what's right. Don't fight it."

 

"Decision-making is a vice. Some addicts reach a stage where they do almost nothing but agonize over decisions. It's a subtle form of hesitation. Like all addictions, the only cure is cold turkey. You could spend the rest of your life trying to decide whether to take the cure."

 

Are you going to have a life of living or dying, because the way most people live these days is a dying, they just don't know it or perhaps they are and would rather die than change. I prefer living personally and being out of the box and on the fringes is really what life is supposed to be all the time for everyone. And in closing, here is a link to an interesting article about a three year old boy that will provoke thoughts hopefully:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/05/27feature.html

 

And don't get me wrong, I love my father. I just don't have to put up with his limited beliefs or have him in my life when he wants to be less than human. Loving someone doesn't require my having to be there and hold their hand or put up with their ignorance. If they don't want to bother to take the time and effort to question what they have been taught, then they deserve everything they are surrounded with. Like minds seek like minds. I'm in the transformational process of seeking out similar hearts and will keep on searching till I find as many as I can this lifetime. Being around negative people is like being around a black hole, they typically seek to suck the life out of others in order to fill their own emptiness. The irony is, we have to fill ourselves with self, not others.

 

To be or not to be...

 

 

 

1-12-06 -

 

I was listening to the radio just now, when this goofy rap song came on sung by guys of course about hookers and hooters. I find it rather pathetic that as a society, most males support this sort of dysfunction, expecting others to approve of it and expecting women to accept this sort of crud from males. This crud also dominates the media and advertising, and has come to be something that women in general take on as being part of who they are, as if they were made by God/ess to be "play things" for males. This is rather interesting in a couple of ways, because it sheds light on the insecurities of most males needing to make themselves feel better at the expense of females. One idea states that males have to put women in a lesser light in order for them to devalue the feminine. By this, I mean women are relegated the role of being feminine exclusively, while the men take on the masculine role. This is erroneous because everyone has feminine/masculine energies of which are spiritual energies that create who we are as a being, not as a gender. This is one of the reasons why homosexuality has such a bad rap. Males do not want to own their feminine energies because it would open them to the richness of each beings androgynous nature, ( which by the way is not about ones genitals). With males suppressing the feminine energies within themselves, it creates an imbalance which creates the projections that we currently live by in regards to how women do not have equality at all levels. Because males do not own their stuff, they wind up forcing women to disown their masculine aspects. This did not happen over night. Both males and females then create the current mess we live in. When we are open to our energies and in balance with them, there is no need for fear, anger, violence, or killing.

 

Our current patriarchal societal norms force conformity to the rules in this matter. This is one of the reasons homosexuality is met with such hostility, because it throws a wrench in the whole dysfunctional routine. Males aren't threatened consciously of women per say. But, when males realize another male is interested in them, it creates some really funny responses. Males are used to gawking and making passes at women and yet if a woman were to do this to a man it would not be taken the same way as women receive it. I think males are threatened by the idea that they are not as dominant as they like to think. And male same-sex connections threatens how males disown their feminine energies. Oddly enough, those in same-sex often play out the same dysfunctional roles as opposite-sex couplings. This really brings out the absurdity of the patriarchal role in the first place. It is hard to see this given it is such a big norm in our culture. Everything is tainted with this one-sided view; music, movies, clothing, careers, economics, politics, religion, sex, etc.

 

Yesterday I was leaving the YMCA for work, when this woman around my age, (47) smiled at me and as I walked away, "I like your earring, it's really hot." It really didn't do anything for me except remind me of what is lacking in our culture. I don't have anything against HOT, because there are things I find attractive and hot in men and women; though I tend to find this more so in males than females; and no, I am not going to choose, nor am I sitting on the fence. I just think one needs to be respectful of others without needing to hit on them. People know if you are interested in them or not. Now whether they choose to be conscious to it and or conscious to both sexes is another thing. She wasn't my type, nor am I interested in that sort of aggressiveness/forwardness; and I don't care too much for those sort of culturally sanctioned norms. If everyone did it from the heart without dysfunction, that would be a different story, but it isn't. And if it was some male stranger I knew, it would turn me off as well.

 

Maybe you're wondering why I'm writing about all this stuff, like what does it have to do with spirituality? I'm reminded of when I was attending Fairhaven College, and I ran a consciousness email group, sending out all sorts of info on all sorts of stuff; cultural studies, psychology, dream work, shamanism, sexuality, history, economics, business, spirituality, gender studies, etc. The end of my last year I posted an inner experience that pointed out how far our society is away from unconditional love and it happened to be connected to a guy I was involved with. What it delved into dealt with our first loves as children, our parents, and how that unconscious issue in the many wreaks havoc in the family and society. I had an older women on the list confront me in the grocery store about ruining the wonderful spiritual stuff I'd been posting. What that was all about relates to the rest of our cultures need to keep spirituality free of all that we disown and repress. So in most people's mind that could involve homosexuality, incest, addiction, dysfunction, racism, sexism, ageism, etc. This sort of selective spirituality creates a wall that denies the whole and it creates the sort of dysfunctional religions that support ignorance (to ignore) and intolerance, which then leads to all sorts of nasty things projected onto others. As the old saying goes, I am not going to tip toe around the tulips.

 

With that said, I am out of here, biology class calls for me. I think tonight we get to dissect female cells. (Just kidding). Cells are pretty interesting and upon further studies, one might realize some things as it relates to the polarities we create in our beliefs of what is and isn't.

Peace

 

 

 

1-14-06 -

 

Monday is a holiday, Martin Luther King Day to be exact. I was at work Friday with a woman I work with, and we were talking about MLK Day. I find it interesting that a great many African Americans will still be working that day. Most assuredly, those who are poor and those who are on the fringe, will not be getting that day off. I find it hypocritical of those in high places who profess such compassion, but their particular actions just never get anywhere near the vicinity of their words. Food for thought.

Speaking of food, it is ironic that here in the "Land of Plenty," live many citizens who go hungry every day, not just a couple of hundred or so, but roughly 35 million people and they include children as well. Here is a link to recent facts: http://www.frac.org/pdf/HungerFacts.pdf There are other facts there about what we do spend money on in our infamous U.S. budget. I was reading an article about the ongoing rebuilding of Louisiana and its amazing how the area was devastated and it disappeared within several weeks. I am sure that promised monies are being handed out much like the billions that were to be used for the Iraq rebuild, only to be lost or spent on ridiculous items. My experience in the Army can attest to the waste that goes on in that organization, which is just an extension of business as usual within the government and the corporate welfare that goes on in the name of business and economic prosperity; but who really prospers in the end?

 

 

 

1-16-06 -

 

I've been following the news the last several months and the focus has been on Iran. The stories are pretty much in the same vein as what occurred with Iraq. Also this past week was a story in the European Union newsletters about Russia withholding natural gas to Bulgaria for over a week. Russia was wanting to force Bulgaria into paying three times more than what it has been paying. Bulgaria refused, calling it black mail, and in turn Russia shut off the supply. Interesting to note that Russia also supplies Europe with a third of its natural gas supply. All of this is indicative of the ongoing agenda of the larger countries to acquire and control fuel resources at all costs. You will find that they will do whatever it takes to do this. If you believe that those in government are there because they care about democracy and America, guess again.

 

Those individuals in high places come from the corporate sector and even if they are rich and well off, those rich people have assets in corporate entities; did you know that corporations have been given the legal status of a human being? When there is wrong doing, generally it is the corporation not its leaders or stockholders who gets punished. You may wonder, how does one punish a corporate entity? Well, you just fine it or inhibit it in some way legally. If you loaned your car to someone and they were arrested for having narcotics, your car would become the property of the law. If a corporate vehicle were to have the same circumstances with narcotics, their vehicle would be returned.

 

It is ironic that all those secret documents that we don't have privy to, are readily available to those corporate individuals who occupy government positions. With that said, you have to wonder what they really mean when those individuals say they have to keep things secret for national security. National security is about economics, has been for a long time. It is not about ensuring you and I get good wages and benefits; it's about the well to do maintaining their wealth and power. If you think it isn't, then I would suggest looking beyond what you are taught and told. Actions are what you need to be looking at, for they always tell another story, no matter what is being said. We have been conditioned to pay attention to what is being said and we keep doing it even though the lies get bigger and bigger. When lies get bigger, the law has to change and so you see the current  struggle to change the guard of the supreme court to those who will be conservative; meaning they are closed minded and willing to see things in the traditional good old boy manner. You will find if Alito gets nominated, that the law will begin to switch to allow corporate leaders to have more say in government, to have more laws in favor of their way of doing business. There will be an undoing of environmental laws and of accountability for their actions. The rights of citizens will become something of the past. I would suggest contacting your senators and letting them know where you stand. And there are probably those who think that is perfectly acceptable, that the country is going to pot by liberals. But, then again, ignorance is not bliss. Some people would like this sort of thing to hide from their own fears of varied types. Some are caught up in greed and the need to control others because they are constantly controlling their own authentic self bottled up inside. Ironically, it is those who profess to be religious who are the ones who control and deny authentic spirit from emanating from within.

 

People often freeze and shut down when this sort of thing occurs. But, that is what they want you to do. What you have power to do is to shine. that is what frightens those in power the most; those who shine. Be yourself, speak your truth, find those who resonate with the positive light and heal those wounds so that you don't wind up falling into old dysfunctional patterns that leak out your power. Refuse to let anyone tell you how to be and question what it is you "think" you are, working diligently to feel what you are.

 

When enough people begin to speak up and say enough is enough, those in government will back down and laws will be put in place to curtail the current greed and power that drives our government. Government is only as good as those who occupy it. It's time for some much needed overhaul about who has access to running it.

 

On another note, Washington passed a no smoking law in bars recently. I wish they would undo it because the butt suckers now go outside the bars and litter the hell out of the side walks with their butts, gum, and cigarette wrappers and boxes. Yuck! I used to smoke two packs a day for ten years and quit in 87'. It has taken all those years with body work, breath work and self-awareness to realize the nicotine was suppressing my feelings located in the chest area. This area is really important as our guidance center for what is working and not working. It lets us know when a person, place, situation or thing doesn't feel right, which allows us to make necessary changes. In general we suppress this area, and when one smokes it suppresses it even more so.

 

 

 

1-17-06 -

 

Here's a story about a marine deserter from the Vietnam war on the run for thirty years because he didn't believe in war. I find it really amazing the military has been looking for this guy for thirty years. What really amazes me is they arrest the guy, while dear old George Bush had his father pull strings to get him out of Vietnam and into a cherry National Guard unit, to then not show up for his required reserve duty. You would think someone gets out of having to go FT in the military to Vietnam and the silly fool wouldn't even show up for his PT status; cake job. Amazingly he was working with politicians on their campaigns. Now that is really important work when every Tom, Dick, and Harry is supposed to be giving their life for God and country; Not George Bush. Finally after not showing up for his required physical exam, the military discharges him with an honorable discharge. I find that really amazing. What's even more amazing is when he's up for election, this information comes up, but no one in the military can find his records?! Simply amazing that they are no where to be found. But, there are those who remember George, but of course they don't know what they are talking about. Then, when the records are amazingly found by the military after a lengthily time, there are discrepancies. And as the fairy tale comes to an end, no one, not even the media, can figure out what exactly happened. Isn't amazing what being rich can do for you and yours. And George expects the soldiers of today to be patriotic and to do their duty for God and country. Democracy at its best.

 

 

 

1-18-06 -

 

Heard this really great song on the radio today called "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. You can go to her website to hear the full song:

 

http://www.natashabedingfieldusa.com/ 

 

There's music playing on the site which will interfere hearing the song, so make sure you go to the bottom left of the page and click on the stop button on the embedded player.

 

"UNWRITTEN"

 

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

 

 

 

1-19-06 -

Here's a poem by Rudyard Kipling the famous poet. I'd not heard of him until today. I would alter one thing in regards to his ending, for it to be inclusive for all beings, not just men. What he writes about is important for all human beings to be able to do in the face of adversity and the insanity we have been living by.

" IF"

 

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

    - Rudyard Kipling

 

 

 

1-20-06 -

 

Interesting website on the recent Harry Potter book; Dumbledore Is Not Dead:

http://www.dumbledoreisnotdead.com/

 

Also, a site called The End of Suburbia: Oil Depletion and the Collapse of The American Dream. Here's the website address The End Of Suburbia. There's a movie about this and there are several movie trailers to check out.

 

Another website I was told about has to do with Cuba and how they responded during the 90's when they lost their oil supply from Russia, moving away from petroleum based fertilizers and pesticides to organic farming, and moving into more sustainable ways of living. Some Americans visited Cuba and out of their visits, decided to make a movie based on what they saw, for it offers hope to how to wean ourselves off dependency form oil and all the dysfunctional aspects that have spawned from it; violence, war, greed, accumulation of power. There movie will be available for purchase February 2006. Their website is located at http://www.communitysolution.org/cuba.html

 

Ironically, it takes an incredible amount of money (try trillions) to keep the military presence world wide, performing clandestine activities, and a host of other functions to control access to this oil. In the process of controlling said oil, which doesn't belong to us in the first place, we begin to see more and more corporate interests gaining footholds in our government with dollar signs in their intentions and the willingness to do whatever it takes to get oil for the sake of profits. Now, if you think what I've just said, then perhaps you should think about this carefully, seeking to look at it from various different perspectives other than the one you have been handed by those in power in government and through the corporate controlled media outlets. When you begin to look at sustainable practices in this country, there is an incredible amount of activities, creativity, ideas being created for healthier foods, clothing, housing, and technologies that don't pollute our air, soil, and water, not to mention our bodies, minds, and spirits. So, why isn't this being shown to us through the media? Guess?

 

Petroleum based pesticides and fertilizers are not used by Nature for her to grow the abundances that she does naturally. Think about this carefully. Look around in Nature and notice what is being created always (All Ways). I have watched during the Fall when apples are ripe on the trees, and been amazed to see people with an apple tree in their yard with all the apples laying on the ground around the tree. Amazingly, these people go to the store and buy apples for $1-3 a pound depending on where they shop and what variety they want. Ironically, working in landscape maintenance allowed me to become more aware of this phenomenon. I would go to various people's properties and here were plums, apples, pears, etc just going to waste. Really, Nature doesn't see this as waste, for it goes right back into the soil as fertilizer for the tree and it feeds other organisms, birds, insects, etc. But, my point is Nature grows it for free and we have been conditioned to ignore Nature and go to the store and buy it.

I am aware that not everyone has access to this. Yet, there are alternatives, going to an apple orchard and picking your own; canning is another aspect as is drying fruit to save for later use. One can look around for those who have trees that aren't being used and ask if you can harvest some or all of it, or put an ad in the paper asking for unused fruit. Farmers Markets are another resource to avoid the high costs of supermarkets. But, lately I've noticed prices at the farmers markets as high or higher than supermarkets and even co-ops.

 

This is just the tip of the iceberg in regards to sustainable practices to include solar energy, biomass. 

 

Please note, this information is given not to frighten, but to bring awareness that there are always positive aspects to move towards when becoming conscious of negative aspects that no longer work for our highest good. Spirit always gives us positive alternatives, though we aren't always open to them due to being blinded by fear; which as I've mentioned often, is not who we really are.

 

 

 

1-21-06 -

 

I'd like to share some information from an article I received about the media and how they focus on negative news:

"These media outlets bombard you with the worst in humankind: senseless violence, brutality and killings, rapes and robberies wherever they occur; and to death tolls in transportation crashes, wherever they happen—the kind of information that distresses compassionate souls and also stirs the fearful thought: “This could happen to me or someone I love.”  Each time a person succumbs to avian flu, it is widely reported to keep alive your concerns that the relentless warnings of a potential endemic may be right, and what now that the vaccines have been found worthless?  Reports of legislation in any country that reduces civil and human rights is not for edification so that you can rally to oppose it, but to make you fear that you or your loved ones may be caught in their long tentacles. Please be aware of how purposefully these kinds of “news” events are selected and do not let your emotions be pulled into the fear that is intended!    

I am mentioning these examples of fear-mongering for another reason as well, to assure you that the more diligently you replace fear with light, the more swiftly all of those kinds of situations will end.  Yes, sometimes I feel like a “broken record” in so often emphasizing this universal truth, but I do so because we see that our reassurance and encouragement is welcomed by you who believe our words and even more so, by the new soul-searchers who are looking for reasons to validate their hopes that someday violence and hatred will be replaced by peace and cooperation—they need to know how they can stop contributing to the problem and become part of the solution."

With that said, I would recommend not watching the news on TV or listening to it on the radio or reading the newspapers. There are other ways of finding out what is going on in the world that is positive, life affirming, which shows the way out of the box of limited thinking of the profit makers at the expense of the environment and it's citizens. If you need to really know something, it will come to your attention at various times. If you must read or listen to the news, then at least take it with a grain of salt, for you are only being given small amounts of facts with which they try to create the whole picture; half the facts only create half the truth.

Another thing I would recommend altering is your diet, which will help in dealing with all the changes in energies lately. I am sensitive to energies and have spent a great deal of time learning about foods as medicines, herbs, etc., to balance the energies out. Simple things can assist in your well being, such as changing from table salt to sea salt; buying a decent water filter or buying filtered water at the stores; purchasing organic foods; limiting intake of sugar, artificial flavors, and artificial colors. Chemicals in foods, water, and artificial ingredients affect our well being greatly, which causes our bodies to work over-time to re-balance our health. I would also highly recommend finding alternatives to pharmaceutical drugs, which are synthesized from chemicals. What they don't tell you, of if they do they minimize them, are the side effects they create. If you have to use them due to pain, then use them sparingly. As an example, I had to have a tooth removed that broke and had quite a bit of pain. I used the pain pills, actually two of them, until the nausea was too much to deal with and I stopped. The nausea was worse than the pain. 

Our own brains have glands that create all the chemicals our body needs, and if we are in pain, it will create pain killers. One can use their own mind to limit this pain. Herbs are quite potent, so find a co-op and talk to the people who work in the supplements area; or go to a health store and ask, most malls have a vitamin store; check to see if you have a herb store in town; if not there are on-line stores that give information on them, recommending books, and selling them via mail order. If you get desperate enough and can't find any, contact me and I will find one for you or recommend one here locally in town who will help you out via the phone and mail; as I said before, Spirit always offers ways around the walls. Another area I would recommend for your well being and bringing balance is through Chinese medicine, Chinese herbs, and acupuncture. 

Another area is via Naturopathic medicine and they use herbs too, though they are different than Chinese herbs. I think both have value, though the Chinese herbs are used in conjunction with numerous other ones, which makes them far more potent. I do believe that it is important to use herbs that grow in your region as well. But, this is not always possible. And the last thing I would recommend is body work, breath work, etc. Getting out for a walk in Nature, especially around trees can be excellent for grounding the intense energies and in clearing out negativity. My acupuncturist mentioned finding a pine tree to lean against, as if pushing against it with your hands. This allows the energy of the tree to interact with your energy field to rid yourself of negative energy. If you think this is non-sense, then perhaps you should consider what physics has gotten into in regards to life at the quantum level; everything is energy; think about it. I have a list of many in my personal links section of the site.

I have a lot of friends who are having a hard time with pollution lately, becoming very sensitive to its effects. Others are sensitive like I am to the energy changes, with many complaining of waking up groggy and staying that way all day. Other symptoms include being exhausted, wanting to sleep a lot, headaches, nausea, no appetite, thirsty, irritable, angry. Others are feeling overwhelmed, stressed more so than usual, and a host of other symptoms like eating habits changing, skin irritations. Yes, some have these occur regularly for people, but I am referring to those who don't have these problems regularly.

Enjoy the day!

 

 

 

1-21-06 -

 

Here's a recent article I received from Paul Levy, his website address is at the end of the article if you are interested in more of his writings.

 

http://shermanbuck.com/art happening called global awakening.html

 

 

 

1-22-06 -

 

I ran across this interesting short quote from a book I've been reading called, "The Shamanic Way of the Bee," by Simon Buxton. The quote:

 

"A weak person always goes where he is smiled at,"

 

What he was getting at has to do with how when we are not connected to our own spirit, we gravitate towards those who have power over us. When we are afraid of being ourselves, we act, talk, and think in line with the rules. If people don't smile at us, we don't have their approval, which triggers us to get back in line. A person who is more concerned with listening to their inner spirit is not going to get approval very often, which will always take one on the road less traveled, which is the only path to travel on for authenticity. If they don't smile at you, you know you are on the right track to being yourself. When you can be authentic and get smiled at, you've found friends of the heart.

 

Blessings to those that smile and don't smile at me. Either one is irrelevant as long as you can smile at your own self in the mirror and as you walk through life.

 

 

 

1-25-06 - 

I found this on Electronic Frontier Foundation website http://www.eff.org/ They are a pretty neat group working on everything from the Patriot  Act to Internet issues, music rights, digital rights, etc. I've been working with Tor on my computer.

Tor: An anonymous Internet communication system

Tor is a toolset for a wide range of organizations and people that want to improve their safety and security on the Internet. Using Tor can help you anonymize web browsing and publishing, instant messaging, IRC, SSH, and other applications that use the TCP protocol. Tor also provides a platform on which software developers can build new applications with built-in anonymity, safety, and privacy features.   http://tor.eff.org/

 

 

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