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June 2007



6-05-07 - 10:22pm -


Bellingham has Iraqi War vet Evan Knappenberger doing a tower guard vigil, much like what occurs in Iraq. Evan is doing this to end stop-loss and IRR. You can view his daily postings and images of his vigil at 


Lots going on in my life in regards to seeing the bigger picture, settling into more of being versus doing. I have been realizing many things about our country that has little to do with democracy and more towards a corporate elitist democracy, where the rich get to decide the direction our country's apparatus and monies are directed towards. I have been realizing we do not have justice, but a system of legal laws that are so ambiguously written, that it allows for interpretations to be made in any direction that suits those in power. Our president and past ones, have been using signing documents to alter bills that they don't like and adding their own slant to them, unbeknownst to the citizens. And yet we are told that democracy should be transparent. There is so much stuff going on behind closed doors that has nothing to do with democracy.


I have been pondering on the lack of any real action by democrats in congress, wondering why they don't speak up as a group. I realized recently that we are told a lot of things, but the actions behind the words is something far different. Their actions are in support of Bush, and an illegal war, and torture, and the giving away of hundreds of billions of dollars for the continued occupation of a country for the sake of strategic positioning, with eyes on oil reserves not only in Iraq, but in Iran and elsewhere. Why else would they build billion dollar military bases in Iraq? In the meantime, innocent civilian men, women, and children continue to die and live in conditions that most of us in the West do not have to ever endure. That is not to say that all of us do not, because there are just as many who go without food, housing, clothing, medical/dental treatment, and various other necessary support. The supposed land of the free and plenty. That is not how it works from the top down. This is the story we got shoved down our throats as children and the same one that continues be strafed upon our consciousness.


We live in a culture that is based on money, based on buying things, and based on supporting an elitist structure that sucks the life out of everything they touch. Our entire society is based on addiction, an addictive craving for things to fill the emptiness within, the void left when we were forced to evacuate our inner domain to focus on the culturally sanctioned insanity we call "living." We have an entire culture that believes there is nothing they can do to change things. But, this is the illusion we hold sway too, much like the baby elephant that is tied securely by a rope and when it grows up, it still believes that rope can hold it, even when the rope is just carelessly tied. We are powerful beings and the power that the elites hold is based on this illusion. The other issue that most of us are unaware of is this money thing. The vast majority of our ancestors where wooed off the land, where things were mostly free, into the cities to work in factories for ridiculously low wages; both adults and children. Eventually fewer and fewer people lived for free, which was the whole point of the elites. They forced the people from the lands, and most importantly, any indigenous peoples were systematically attacked and dismantled, because they represented a threat to the elitists plans.


Religion played a very crucial role in destroying the indigenous people's connections to their inner spirit, much like most Caucasians had theirs disconnected from their own original roots back in Europe and elsewhere. Religion is and has always been political, part of the governing state going back as far as we know. Looking at the Catholic church's inquisition and the countless men and women who were wiped out for the sake of silencing the inner knowing, silencing spirit, and reigning in those who would know how to keep people awake or awaken them. These males in the church acted with full knowing of what they were doing and they still continue to reap the benefits at the expense of those who are asleep, and they like it that way, since it fills their coffers and those at the top live like kings. The Catholic church is the worlds largest corporation. They profess to care, but their use of fear, guilt, and shame upon their followers has nothing to do with the love they profess to be teaching; proselytizing they call it.


I recently heard a newscaster talking about the current pope's upcoming visit to Brazil, to talk about many things, but specifically about liberation theology.  As John Paul II put it early in his papacy: "This conception of Christ as a political figure, a revolutionary, as the subversive of Nazareth, does not tally with the church's catechism." This is what the current pope also supports. Any idiot can read the bible and note the stories of Jesus' teachings and actions and know for sure he was exactly these things the church says he isn't. I think those elitists in the church are bedfellows with all the rest of the elitists in the business world, because this current world paradigm is about materialism and always has been. From its very beginnings, Rome was involved with the King Spain, and its how Rome became the dominate religious power. Prior to that time, there were many popes throughout all the countries of Europe. This shift brought about one centralized pope and the increased domination of others throughout Europe and the rest of the world. One can see Spain and the Church's utter destruction of the peoples of  South America, Central America, and Mexico, and the beginnings of the conquest of the Native Americans of what we know of as the United States.


This wiping out of the indigenous cultures served the point of ensuring the continuation of the inquisition in a larger dismantling of consciousness, of which has served the Catholic church and other denominations, as well as elitists quite well, and well rewarded with great wealth at the expense of many. These elitists say a great many words of intellectual apologies, but their actions belie another whole story. Any sort of atonement is rebuffed; no returning the wealth stolen, no returning sovereignty to indigenous peoples, nor returning the lands that were stolen from them. The actions of these elitists sends a strong message, that they are not interested in these people or anyone else for that matter. Business is the issue and money is the game. The ultimate game is power, power over others, and with this power, the ability to control the masses by keeping them ignorant and frightened. Over the centuries, they have done their job well at disconnecting the masses and creating trauma that has left most of our cultures dysfunctional. Ironically, those in power are more dysfunctional than the rest; they just don't realize it, nor do the masses understand the implications of this.


Power is what everyone of us has within us, it is the following and deep connection that allows us to here our spirit, as well as "being" connected to the greater being, of which we are all part of. We are not separate from this greater being, but we are unconscious of the connection. It is not disconnected, rather we have amnesia about our connection. Power over others stems from a desire of someone wanting to play god, but one cannot be GOD, on can only be god (lower case letters). All of us collectively represent GOD, for we are all one, all of the same essence. Each of us are uniquely different and necessary for the unfolding of the divine. Those who have this desire to be GOD, found a way to disconnect children when young, and learned how to train and discipline them into subordination, in some ways like the baby elephant. The only way elitists retain power is by the masses remaining unconscious and living in fear, guilt, and shame.


I am referencing all this, because the elitists have weaned everyone onto materialism, thinking that the masses will become material slaves to buying whatever is presented to them in various forms. And this has worked quite well as corporate profits can attest too. Ironically, the hidden door is quite evident if you know what you are looking for. While the elites have conditioned people to be addicted to material goods, they have also set into place a system that has the ability to back fire on them. I remember Andrew Weil discussing how alternative medicine finally got accepted by the insurance industry, which came about from the power of the consumers taking their monies and spending them elsewhere.


After the insurance industry lost billions, they realized their folly. The power of consumers is so vastly covered up, that if it were to be revealed to all, it would end the current domination going on. The entire capitalist structure would collapse. Now before you react in fear thinking all is lost, realize that the extreme does not need to occur, only a concerted effort to spend your hard earned monies in those venues, places, and goods that are for the highest good of all, those places where people, the environment, children, and resources are treated with reverence.


I would like to share an example of how this power thing works. I used to work at the YWCA after school care at St. Christopher's in Bellevue, WA. There were a couple of older children (10 & 11 yrs.), who tended to dominate over the others in any games or activities. I watched this go on for some time and intervened from time to time, but still they continued to work diligently at dominating the others. Finally, one day all of us were outside playing. I watched as one of the dominators worked his prowess on the unsuspecting. He had a friend and they wanted to play a particular game and needed the others in order to play the game. The others needed the dominators in order to play their game as well. 


All of them were at an impasse, since neither side would give in to the demands to play the others game. The dominator came up with a convincing plan, that would have everyone play his game for awhile, then they would play the others game. So, everyone played the dominators game first. When the allotted time was up to begin playing the others game, the two dominators stepped away and refused to play. The larger group's game came to a standstill without the other two dominators to play. The attempted to play their game at best, but it didn't work very well at all. When their allotted time was up, the two dominators stepped back into the circle and conned them into playing their game.


This went on a few times, at which point after the dominators played their game, I called to the leader of the larger group over to where I was standing. I then told him quietly to play their game as before, while the dominators refused to play, and when it came time for the dominators game, for all of them to step away from the circle, just as the dominators had done to them. When the appointed time arrived, they all stepped away from the dominators circle and in that moment, you could see the head dominator realize that he'd lost his power over the others. From that day on, he was never able to regain that power he had over the others. His whole demeanor changed and from that day forward, when he and I would make eye contact, he was no longer arrogant, rude, or inconsiderate of others.


This is the sort of power that exists today in elites. They have convinced us to play their games, to buy their products based on their rules. It is such a delicate out of balance model/game, a house of cards that will fall apart at the slightest wind of change. These elites or those who think they are, are full of themselves, selfish, only thinking of themselves, their desires, their wants. At first it seems irrelevant, until they turn into tyrants who begin to do things that have no bearing in matters of the heart. They have become addicted to power, because they have no connection to their inner power. If one had awareness of this, there would be no need or desire to control another, because one would know in their own heart what that would feel like.


In dysfunction mode, this whole process of power over others starts from the top and works its way down to the bottom, with everyone trying to get some sense of control. It is obscene and void of any real heartfelt meaning, and can only exist in a mind where the heart is not involved; that's where the term heartless derives. In this state, anything is possible; torture, inflicting pain & suffering, denying the other food/shelter/clothing, conditional love, destruction of life and property, destruction of the environment, the valuing of things over people, taking away the freedom to be, and a host of other atrocities. When one begins to awaken to the price they are paying to be in the game, then they will begin to become aware of how to extricate themselves from the game.


The most simplest and easiest is to put your money where your heart ought to be. One becomes addicted to things because they are not aware of their inner connection. When one becomes aware of this inner connection, then the addictions begin to fall away really fast. One begins to feel free from the obligations of others that have been stifling one's life away. True freedom comes from realizing you have choices; always. When one is in the game, the rules dictate limited choices that only support the elites. When one begins to listen to their own inner divine self, where no one gets hurt, then one begins to make different choices that exist within the domain of spirit.


When you begin to really look at these so called powerful people, you begin to look beyond the false beliefs, and amidst their arrogant posturing, their violence, their threats, you realize these are all fear based facades. Their fear is you will find out that the game is nothing more than an illusion, dependent on your following their rules. This is cause of all pain and suffering, of not listening to one's own inner connection to spirit. Spirit is interested in the good of all versus the good of one. Spirit is interested in the well being of all, not the few. Spirit is about cooperation, community, integrity, honesty, innovation, growth, transformation, and abundance for all. What you see in the world today is a lack of spirit and it stems from various organizations who are more interested in accruing power over others than learning how to have control over their own inner power. They have made a choice to turn their backs on the divine to pursue their own perverted version that allows for greed, power, hate, fear, violence, killing, stealing, harming, denying, ignoring, and keeping people ignorant of their own inner connection to the divine. There are an infinite number of ways to undo this game and it has already begun and is well under way. This is why you see so much darkness and ugliness rearing it head, for it is becoming conscious the masses and is ultimately losing power, which is why they are moving so boldly and quickly to shore up their losses. But it is too late, for their demise is coming, even though they continue on as if they have even more power. The curtains are about ready to end the current act for one that is more enlightened.


Do your part, act as if everything you do matters, because as a divine spark of the divine, your being true to your inner authentic self is a powerful act. There is power in sensitivity, feelings, emotions, love, sharing, supporting others, honesty, integrity, and making all choices that support everyone's highest good. When you do this enough, your life will switch from lack of power to being full of power. The act of being is full of power, because you are full of the divine authentic souls self expressing itself from within out into the world. It requires no effort, no external permission, and there is no right or wrong way to express ones authentic self. If you are hurting no one, then you are in alignment with the divine. All is divine when no harm comes to another. The only way darkness can exist is via reason without heart, masculine without feminine, yin without yang, and one must ensure to be present to know when they begin to get out of balance. what do you choose? Dark or Light, consciousness or unconsciousness, fear or love?

Do you continue to buy products made from the suffering of others less fortunate? Do you continue to support corporations that harm others? Do you invest in companies that have no heart, that destroy communities and environments, that lie and distort the truth or do you begin to make time to find out what you are buying, where it comes from and who is having to make it and how. Asking difficult questions is part of waking up or else it is just another intellectual ego game going on playing charades. To be or not to be, that is the question. The elites are most definitely not being, they are too busy manipulating others, which has nothing to do with being.


6-18-07 - 9:15pm -


A week or so ago, I had the opportunity to experience Ayahuasca in a spiritual ceremony. To say that it removed my remaining amnesia is an understatement of the highest accord. Profoundly life altering in ways that make total sense now. Since then, I continue to be guided and brought into remembrance of many things once known. I will write more later, but in the meantime, I found this quote and it really seems to fit into the bigger scheme of things and how humans, both male and female seem to have forgotten who they are and what they are truly about at the core of their being.


Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "you owe me."

Look what happens with a love like that-it lights the whole world.

 - Hafiz


Also, a friend gave me a quote from the old Kung Fu re-runs on DVD that apply here as well:


Who we think we are

Who others think we are

And who we truly are...


Last Friday at work, it suddenly dawned on me that I am not who I truly am. My name Sherman was given to me by a culture, as was my identity. I was forced to adhere to stereotypes based on gender, race, age, sexual orientation, culture, and a host of other aspects not related to my inner being. Who I am as a Being has no bearing on external people, places, things, or events. Anything external to my Being is not relevant. No rules, regulations, expectations, or any other commandments from governments, corporations, or religions is relevant to who my Being is. My Being comes from within, is anchored in the Greater Being, and is nourished via this connection that can never be severed. Perhaps it can be veiled, covered over like the clouds hiding the Sun, but it can never ever be extinguished. One's being can not even be extinguished by one's Being. This spark of the Divine is love itself and it emanates this love naturally in an infinite abundance of energy/love.


So, again, in non-being, everything external of one's self matters. In Being, nothing external matters and inner spirit is everything, because it is who we are. Words cannot describe this, only the direct experience of this can bring understanding and everyone is capable of experiencing this, because we are hardwired for spiritual dimensions, because we come from those dimensions.


It occurred to me today as I noticed one of those fish symbols for Christianity on the back of a car, that people who are in non-Being mode need to have a strong identification to symbols, ideas, groups as a way of feeling secure about who they are based on external events, so as to fit in somewhere and be somebody or something, as a way of feeling like they belong, because they have no authentic belonging/connection to spirit/spirit world/Heaven. When one is in Being, one belongs to all of creation, all of the Universe. When one is in Being, one experiences this belonging and one is not alone, isolated, hopeless, joyless, and or lost. Finding this inner connection is more a remembering, than a finding, for we are immersed in this Greater Being in ways that we have not bothered to consider due to our brainwashing by culture.


This culture teaches self-hate, teaching each child to deny its Being. In denying one's Being, one moves towards non-Being, which is to say that one begins to act in ways that go against the natural flow of Being from within. This going against the Being negates the natural flow of love, which is what we all radiate when in Being. When this flow of Being is stifled or blocked, we then enter into self-hate, for the judging of Being as right or wrong is an act of self-hate. In self-love, one is in a constant state of love, of self-love, of Being without judgment, for when one is in self-love, which is to say unconditional love, then one is always in accord with Universal laws of Love and in this accord, one would never harm another.


Being is loving who we are expressing ourselves as. By this, I do not mean the culturally created being (lower case), but the Being that emanates without cultural rules, where there are no stereotypes, no judgments, no right or wrong based on external people, whether individually or in institutions. These institutions filled with people are not in accord with the inner spiritual realm which abides in unconditional love. They are in accord with self-hate principles which allow them to judge others and in turn to disrespect others and treat them as less than. Hence the creation of the ridiculous notions of one being better than another based on material goods, someone's idea of beauty, social classes, religions, political structures and anything else that sets up an "us and them" mindset, a "good and bad" mindset. For these things are created in ignorance, to "ignore" the Being and to create a world based on non-being, which is to say based on self-hate.


In a self hating world, a self-negating world, then one can disrespect others, because when one disrespects themselves, it opens them to disrespect others. So, one can see this being acting out in the world, in our country, our government, or so called houses of God. None of them are based in true authentic Being, because if they were, they would be in self-love, and in self-love they would be in non-judgment an accepting of others completely and in this mode of Being, the need for hoarding wealth, resources, and power and using them to manipulate others would be irrelevant. Nor would one be interested in stealing, hurting, or killing others, since in Being one is in self-love and self-love is the opposite of self-hate, of self-loathing, of which is born the violence that moves people to kill others indiscriminately and without concern. For when one has no concern or care or compassion for the other, then one is not in self-love.


In general, most religions do not teach self-love. How can one teach self-love when the teachings are full of fear, guilt, shame, and judgment? It is not possible for people to open to the love within themselves with this sort of agenda. Love is not something that one person has to give to all. Love is present in all of us in the ongoing present tense, since it flows freely from within, much like Hafez's quote above about the Sun. Our Being is like the Sun, an inner Sun that shines with a blinding brilliance if we let it and in its shining, we are nourished with all that we need. We do not have to earn love, it is not something that someone external to us can decide whether or not we are deserving. All are deserving of love and it need never be paid for, nor can anyone ever take it from, since it is within you and yet beyond the body if you will.


Has it never occurred to anyone as to why those in the religious institutions live in luxury that was and still is taken from those who live in squalor or just getting by? They are made to pay in more ways than just money. Has it ever occurred to anyone as to why these large religious institutions take in huge sums of money in the millions and billions and then sit on them without bothering to assist those in need? Those that run the religious institutions have the same problem as the elites who run corporations and governments; greed, the coveting of anything external to one's being and willing to do harm to others to get it and maintain it.


These types of individuals have set up a political structure that from birth begins a process of negating the Being that radiates from within the children. These so called political/religious leaders profess to care about the children, but the actions of these individuals and the structures that govern are set up to actually teach self-hate. Our nation and most others are nations of self-hate. They do not teach self-love. Self-hate teaches us to disrespect ourselves and others. Self-hate teaches us that some are deserving, while others are not. Self-hate punishes others physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually. Self-hate denies the other of food, resources, shelter, health/dental care, education, love, freedom. Self-hate needs to control others in order to feed the inner hatred (fear). Self-hate will do whatever necessary to suppress the light of the inner Being. Self-hatred is hatred of the light, hatred of the inner spirit.


Again we don't teach self-love, we teach self-hate. Look at the world, and you begin to see why nothing seems to be done, no one seems to care, our leaders seem to be deaf and blind to what democracy, freedom, integrity, and honesty are about. Corporations are the same way, and it is because they are not interested in anyone else, because they function in self-hate. Only in self-hate can an individual ignore the others sovereignty, only self-hate can treat others with disdain and wreak pain and suffering on others.


Spirit told me awhile back, "Sherman, you have no idea how powerful you are in being." At the time I understood it intellectually, but now I understand what they were getting at. Spirit was alluding to "In Being," that when we allow our Being to express itself into the world without concern of what others think, say, or do to us, then we begin to act in the power of our Being AND the power of the Greater Being. People who understand this, who are awake to what this means cannot be controlled by others. This is why those who govern and rule have made it their task to undermine the Being as soon as possible, so as to keep people disconnected from their Being. People are waking up and taking back their Being, which is to say their power, their self-respect, their self-love and moving the world towards waking up out of the insanity that we have been living for too long. I will write more about this later.


In the meantime, contemplate on what I have just discussed.


6-19-07 - 10:48pm -


External events are irrelevant to one's Being. Nothing external has any bearing on your Being. When no reactions to external events occur, then you will be completely free and in your power.


Being is your power, is your protection. Fear is the negating of your power which is what gives others power over you.


Love is who and what you are; being love; being conscious is your Being. What arises from this is the pure creative genius, acts of compassion, unconditional love, and a desire to be of service to the world in our own unique way.


Your pleasure is your Being, hence your power. Your sexuality and how you choose to express it is your Being and your power. Most of us have been forced into conforming to cultural norms of sexuality that is expressed only in heterosexual desire. Most of people do not really reach the incredible ecstasy and bliss and joy that arises from sexual union due to guilt, shame, and fear. People like to "think" they are having great sex, but the truth is they are dabbling in crumbs, thinking it is a feast. It matters not what others think (judgments). To not be your true expression of sexuality is to not be your true expression of spirituality; your Being and Spirit. Self-hate only allows for procreation and power over others. Sexuality is the full expression of Spirit in both heterosexual and homosexual desire. To be one or the other exclusively and deny the other is a perversion. It has been said that different cultures are formed by how one controls sexuality. Both desires are healthy expressions of self-love and Spirit, for to be in love with the whole Being is to be free of self-hate and self-loathing. One's Being naturally gravitates towards a particular desire and person based on inner spiritual direction.


There are never any judgments about these desires, for in self-love there is no judgments. In a self-hating society, the response towards those who act on homosexual desire begins with a judgment, then moves into expressions of anger, hate, violence, or killing. It should be noted that all of these expressions, including judgment, are fear based responses. Conditional love is based in self-hate, where approval is withheld or given. We often hear that love is withheld, but it is not really true love, because true love, self love, would never ever withhold or deny love to anyone, for it is the basis of our Being, it is who we are, it is the expression of the Universe, of the Divine.


Making love to one's self is a homosexual act, and that is why masturbation is forbidden, for if one loves themselves, knows how to love themselves, then one knows about loving others of the same sex. Masturbation is tapping into the joy and pleasure that is natural of all Beings. Those who rule in self-hate do not want anyone to begin realizing self-love because sexual pleasure leads to awareness of spirit eventually.

Homosexual desire is the ability to love ones maleness or femaleness. Heterosexual desire is the ability to love the opposite gender of one's self. Maleness and femaleness are expressions of feminine and masculine energies, and as such both are essential in the expression of who we are. If one or the other is suppressed, then our Being is suppressed and hence in self-hate. This is why our current patriarchal system is self-hating, because males have denied the feminine aspect in their being, and this is why they are incapable of self-love. This is why females are denigrated to a lesser status to males. This is born from self-hatred, nothing more, no genetics, no ideology is relevant in this out of balance expression of gender. 


Our Being is genderless, is not human form, nor is it based in any of our cultural constructs and rules. The living organism called the body is organic technology that is home to the Being (soul) while embodied during an incarnation cycle. Our Being is all aspects because it is a mirror image of the divine makers. If a male doesn't have feminine aspects then they are unable to tap into the divine inner spirit. So both are essential to self-love. Who your Being is attracted to is irrelevant to any outside sources, for it is the divine seeking to connect spiritually with the other. Each of us is a spark of the divine, hence it is true that we are all one, but each spark is unique and different, much like puzzle pieces that make up the whole puzzle. Each piece is essential in expressing its uniqueness as to allow for the complete puzzle to arise. Enlightenment is not exclusive to heterosexual desire oriented individuals, it is the natural state of Being in all of us. Self-love is the only way to enlightenment and all of us are capable, since we are love itself and in Being we are in self-love, hence enlightenment. Enlightenment is nothing more than being awake to what is and to Be in love with self and all others without judgments or expectations. Enlightenment is more feeling oriented than thinking, in fact the less thinking the better.


The act of Being is unconditional love, is bliss, is ecstatic, is joyful, is peaceful, is humble, is respectful, is abundance, is compassion, is our power and so much more. The act of Being is love and the act of love is Being.


Religion has conned you into thinking instead of feeling. in thinking, they have taken you away from Being and gotten you to believe that self-hate is self-love. The original scriptures were altered to allow them to distort the truth, yet leave  enough truth to hook you in. the ten commandments were written one way and then altered in the teachings of the church leaders to allow killing, stealing, coveting, etc., to further self-hate in the world. Self-hating people can only stay in power as long as others stay in fear. As soon as people begin to move into love, the self-haters power literally dissolves and they are left to face themselves, and the truth that they too are love itself, because love cannot be extinguished or denied.


Religion covets a false god, for the god they teach their followers is an external god, a vengeful god (self-hating). God/Goddess are not external, but within us, as is heaven. There are no keys, no doors, no walls for us to go through to the inner. Rather it is our needing to realize we have created these obstacles before us to prevent expression of Being out into the world, and turned our back from Being and forgotten it is behind us. Part of us becomes the walls, facades, masks and this was/is the dam preventing Being, self actualization, self-love. We are mired in the mask, walls, and facades, because they are a living work of art if you will, that has become a role we have been playing as if playing a part as an actor/actress. We have forgotten the roles we have been playing and need to awaken ourselves so as to get back to our authentic Being.

The coveters were wanted wealth and power all for themselves and it was never meant to be horded, but shared with all. Power was meant to be self-empowerment working with sovereign Beings in cooperation for the betterment of all. The illusion is that self-hatred can only exist as long as we ignore our Being.

Self-hate creates poverty so as to feed off their fear and to use them as slaves to do their bidding. Modern corporations are mostly slave drivers. You are expendable and irrelevant and replaceable. This arises from self-hate, for in self-love one is essential to the whole, where there are no limitations, no judgments, no barriers to Being.


6-24-07 - 9:32am -


"Those who abandon their dreams will discourage yours." -


Be aware (beware) of those who try to force you to be like them or to do what they want you to do. As a sovereign being, your only master to follow is your higher self. But, please be aware that in our current state of dysfunction on this planet, the lower mind is pretending to be the higher mind with disastrous results. The lower mind will resist all attempts to open to the higher mind, for to do so will put an end to the darkness that pervades the way we live. I had an interesting discussion with my friend David yesterday about how most are terrified of opening up to spirit. I have always been puzzled as to why someone would be terrified of a loving, caring spirit. What arose from the discussion was the realization that the terror is the lower mind not wanting us to know directly the higher mind. It is the reasoning minds attempt to keep our Being from the driver's seat in our body (vehicle). My recent ayahuasca experience, with the visitation of the divine, while immensely huge, was a loving, caring presence. At no time did I feel threatened, coerced, nor did I lose my Being in the presence of the Greater Being. All sorts of characters tell us stories that are bad, frightening, fearful, all for the benefit of keeping us in their power instead of in our own.


Our conversation also touched on something Eckhart Tolle mentioned; "There are no personal problems." While most would argue this, it is important to understand this. First, when any resistance arises in the mind, it is important to understand that lower mind almost always reacts in fear, which is a defensive reaction. The higher mind needs no resistance (fear), since it is love itself and its knowingness is a greater truth than intellectualized knowing, with the latter being separated from a direct experience of truth internally. Personal problems arise from the lower mind because authentic Being is missing from the equation. All personal problems have a reaction; fear. Fear distracts us from being in the present now and moves us into focusing on the past or present in terms of the potential for "bad" things to happen. All the while the present (the gift) is ignored and energy put into creating the "bad" to occur or to at least be the focus of our being that we live in a constant state of fear worrying about being found out or hurt or... All of these are fear and it is fear that causes problems. In a state of unconditional love, there is no room for fear, because we are totally in the present now, tapped into higher mind, being guided in love by our Being.


The mind games that transpire from this lower mind are vicious, cruel, crippling in ways that most are totally unaware of. As you begin to let go to long cherished notions, you begin to come to understand how the lower mind has been a prison guard to your becoming aware of your Being. Any attempt to move out from the walls is met with violent opposition within the mind, which creates illusions of horrible things happening or of being alone or losing things or of what others will think of you. These are all illusions of the mind, created by an essence that over time trained you to live in fear (illusions). Coming in conscious we were fearless until we began to be manipulated or forced to obey external rules. Yet, we still retained our inner connection to our Being, even though we may have perceived it to have left us. When we have to follow external rules, we have to fracture/split our consciousness in order to not step out of alignment with the cultural software we are forced to run on our operating system within. Osho calls this split schizophrenia, which is what causes all the pain and suffering in the world. Also, if you read "Spiritual Emergency" edited by Stanislav & Christina Grof, this comes up again and again by the various contributors; don't take my word for it, check it out yourself.


This fracture exists only to allow us to function in dysfunction until at some point we can heal the split and move into our Being. In the meantime, lower mind is busy weaving webs of deception about who we are, what we are, creating limitations, making us into what others expect us to be. All of this is nothing more than a facade, like taking on an actor or actress role for a movie, only the part we play is not in alignment with our higher self, it is based on another's schizophrenia (split). See this as the insane leading the insane, and our current government leaders are playing this out, unleashing their own split onto the world at large. 


Torture, killing, and acts of great violence are not acts of love, nor are any of the leaders coming from a place of unconditional love. Their lower minds are quite involved in creating pain and suffering in the world, for this is what arises in the split; pain and suffering, which is then unleashed externally into the world. The split opens a schism that allows dark psychic forces to impinge upon us. This split doesn't necessarily occur over night, though trauma can induce it rather quickly, depending on how great the trauma is. Think of these lower psychic life forms like a virus that lives off its host. In this context, the virus feeds off the negative energies of fear induced by its psychic manipulations to our minds. When the split is healed, there is no more influence upon our psyche.


Our brain was created to be sort of like a computer to store information, to oversee the complex multiple operations necessary for the body to function, without us having to pay attention to all of the functions. Think of your body as organic technology, a space suit for your soul to embody/wear while immersed in this level of dense matter. The higher mind is who we are, it is the Being that is who we truly are, untouched, untainted, untarnished. Every thought of fear, hesitation, avoidance, anger, hatred, violence, manipulation, coercion, deception, jealousy, lies, and pride is the darkness of the lower mind at work. The higher mind has no need of these things, because coming from a place of love, illusions don't exist, therefore it is free to follow its bliss, joy, ecstasy, and be in peace, which is to say to be in harmony with itself and the Greater Being, which allows for the creating of the same into the world, for the external world is nothing more than a reflection of the inner world.


Once we are free of the lower minds intrusive nature into unconditional love, which is the only true manifestation that flows and radiates outward from the Greater Being into our Being, then we understand through direct experience that their truly aren't any wounds, only a great distortion of awareness that veiled our true loving nature and caused us to believe in separation and limitations. Pain and suffering arise from separation or rather the belief in separation. Our Being is in a constant state of awareness to bring us back to center, to our Being, so as to be in our true power of unconditional love. Our Being, our love, is always fresh, new, eternal as it flows forth from the Greater Being. Our task is to learn to identify with the eternal, which is the higher mind (Soul) and the Greater Being.


Once you realize from your own direct inner experience of Being, then you will know that you are eternal and that no one can harm your Being ever; not even yourself. This is what organized religion doesn't want you to know because it is how they maintain control over you and hence acquire power. There power would evaporate in an instant if all of us were to awaken from the illusion they have weaved. When you are in your true power, your true Being, then life is miraculous in all ways. The peace of mind that there is nothing wrong with who you are arises from true Being. True Being is always in alignment with unconditional love, and therefore would never harm another being in any way. True Being is about using your creative power to manifest a life in balance and harmony with one's sovereign self and others sovereign self in win/win situations.


Win/win situations are about playing, where as win/lose situations are about working. Work as it currently is understood is misery and it is based on meeting our sense of self-identity. I recall a past conversation with someone who was passionate about science, but his problem was that if he didn't have science he didn't have anything. This was simply not true, rather an illusion stemming from a lack of self-awareness of his Being. As a Being, we do not identify with anything external as to who we are, because external things are not who we are at all. They are merely aspects we have created. In being created from a state of non-being, these created aspects are destructive to our sense of self as well as to others and Nature; by the way, others and Nature are part of us in the larger scheme of the Greater Being.


When we are in a state of ignoring, despising, hating, avoiding, judging the other, then we are in a state of non-being, and these states prevent us from Being authentic and free from constraints to our ability to reach higher states of Being. I am not saying you have to be around people who put you down or disrespect you or harm you or belittle you, rather our task is to love them unconditionally without any need to impinge upon their non-being. Allow them the room to re-member who they truly are. I realized this with Juan Ruiz at the ceremony, in his being an incredible living example of Being. Up till that time, I had never met any man or woman who embodied their Being as powerfully as he did. I felt awkward in his presence at first. My realization of my discomfort stemmed from having spent most of my life around people who were non-being and all that came with that, of being put down, ridiculed, laughed at, hated, manipulated, coerced, etc. Suddenly here was this person who mirrored to me all that I had been hiding. So, my task was to learn to accept that I was hiding my own brilliant light and my response-ability is to shine this light out into the world. Once you get rid of all the illusions, then you are free to shine your brilliance, your light.


When I say brilliance, I am not talking about being better than someone, but being brilliant as a source of light, compassion, and a wisdom that arises for the purpose of assisting others rather than serving one's own selfish interests. There is nothing wrong with taking care of one's self or wanting things, but when we begin to act in ways to deny the other or harm the other, then it is no longer about sharing, but about taking and hording. This distinction can get easily lost, so I am going to explain it more in detail.  Taking and hording stems from thinking there is not enough and it is an egoic action that wants to distract you into limitation (fear), hence power over others, which is self-hate. Taking and hording stem from a need to identify with matter, with external things as your identity. If you understand this, then you know that we are all in this together as mutual participants and that sharing is our eternal nature. Nature is created in this way and all that you need to know can be deduced from direct observation of Nature. We are part of Nature and our true Nature is a reflection of Nature.


True knowing can only be known from direct experience. One cannot profess to know about something from making judgments about it based on their fears or from what others say about it. Most of what we live by is based on this intellectual knowing. When we fear something are first reaction is egoic, where we resist the feeling that arises within us. This feeling is different from a thought, it arises from who we are as a Being. We are taught to judge our feelings and told which ones are good and bad. This judging arises from the egoic need to create illusions and distortions. Our feelings are part of our true nature. So, when living in illusion a feeling arises and we judge it based on cultural software rules of engagement (ego). At which point, the other person, place or thing that triggered the feeling becomes the problem. The ego see the other as bad rather than allowing the feeling to arise in our consciousness. Ego must stop it at all cost in order to continue the illusion. So, ego blames the other as if they were responsible for the feeling.


At this juncture, our fear moves us to avoidance, anger, hatred, violence or to create laws to limit the expression of particular feelings, for all feelings good or bad are expressed outwardly and ego must stop all those that go counter to its illusion. One example we know of quite well in our society is homophobia. A person meets someone of the same-sex and has a feeling of attraction to them. The non-being self reacts in fear and rather than owning the feeling, it must exercise a psychological response to abdicate response-ability and does this by blaming the other person for their feelings, thus labeling the other as bad. Non-being often shames, uses guilt, intimidation, anger, hatred, violence and instructs others to abide by their rules. This fear reaction has created significant trauma towards others and created an atmosphere that has caused a great deal of pain and suffering onto others and in denying others their right to be true to their spiritual Being.


Our self-hating patriarchal culture does the same thing towards women, where men have created a system that delegates women to a lesser status, forcing women to abdicate their masculine energies, while men abdicate their feminine energies. All humans have these energies in themselves and when either denies one or both in significant quantities, one then moves further into non-being. Patriarchy (males), do the same thing to children, other cultures, other races, Nature, and anything that makes us uncomfortable, or rather what makes the egoic mind of separation react in fear The true reality is we are all interconnected and of similar natures. The other day I was in the our local co-op grocery store, when I had this realization hit me viscerally at a deeper level. I'd been dealing with feeling all the situations when I had been shamed by my family, friends, school, church, community, and society in many ways.


The feelings of this as it related to all of my Being was very intense and the only way to heal it was to feel it, which ultimately frees the negative energies that were suppressed. As I stood in the produce section, I noticed someone who worked there and his presence triggered a sudden realization of how self hatred has caused society members to treat other minorities horribly and we still do in ways that we pretend are normal. Most of what is done to others is by supposedly "Loving" people. Love does not enslave others nor does it treat them as lesser than or deny them their right to be who they are as Beings.

The significant negating energies used to disempower others not in alignment to their self-hate is what history has been about. In an instant, I could see how we were all culturally forced to abide by rules that judged others and enslaved them. And, we still have not come to acknowledge the damage we caused. While we have somewhat acknowledged this intellectually, those that govern have no intentions of giving up their self-hate in terms of making true amends based on the heart. How can they do this, since they loath themselves. As I have said before, when we respect ourselves completely, we respect others completely. One only needs to look at the current state of affairs on Native American reservations to see that we are not interested in allowing them their sovereign right to be. To not return it is to continue on unabated in the same manner of self-hate rule. I was made to see during my recent journey that the Native communities world wide have been holding the indigenous teachings of our roots.


This is why they have no desire to join our world, because our world is a creation of insanity, destruction, and hatred. One only need to look at history and notice how the label of Super Power Nation has jumped from one country to another over the centuries. This idea of Super Power is nothing more than some other cultural group taking the insanity to a greater level and wreaking havoc on the world. The biases present in those cultures that arose to Super Power status were the driving principles to how they ruled globally. The United States is the current holder of this mass insanity. Carl Jung spoke of this principle at the end of World War II, stating that Germany had been possessed by it and that though they had been defeated, the madness would reappear somewhere else in the world and assuredly it has.


So, what I did upon this realization was to stop where I was, closed my eyes, and visualized all of us as equal Beings, at which point, I felt the spiritual energy flowing through me and out the crown of my head, letting me know that I'd shifted my energy as well as others. Do not under estimate your power as a spiritual being. You have the ability to raise consciousness in ways that most do not quite understand at this time. Know you are power-full beyond measure. This potent energy can shift consciousness just by Being who you are and acknowledging the other, for when we do this, we removed ourselves from the collective fear consciousness that binds others in this self-hating insanity. Once you do this you are free. As you step into the realization that you are an eternal being and understand that the fear is nothing more than the lower mind tricking you into passivity and imprisonment, then it no longer has any control over you. This will take awhile to alter the patterns that are ingrained from years of conditioning, but it can be quickened by your determination, motivation, and concentration to be free of this enslaving egoic mind.


There is no other in principle, only all of us as a whole package so to speak. The other is us in that we are all sparks of the divine, of which encompasses the whole. What we dislike in the other is what we dislike in ourselves. To love ourselves unconditionally is to love others unconditionally. The other day at work, I had the opportunity to see the opposite of this play out. My client and I were outside  and her neighbor had come by. He spoke about how some tenants had finally been evicted from the house next door to him. The man went on about how these people lived like animals, then said they were worse than animals. I spoke up about how badly traumatized people often live this way, but he wasn't interested in hearing this. He went on to say that people born before the 60's knew better, that it was those born in the 60's and 70's that have caused the problems in the world. At this point I realized he was in denial about a great many things. I find it ironic how he can overlook the racism, prejudice, sexism, gender stereotypes, violence towards others, greed, and accrual of power that has been occurring long before he was even born. This sort of selective rationalization is born of a reasoning based in fear and separation and the idea of good and bad, which allows one to judge others as being inferior and themselves superior. All of this non-sense is a crutch to keep one living in a state of denial about their own self-hatred, otherwise one would have no need to judge others to maintain superiority. In this state of unawareness, differences are bad and diversity is seen as a threat to revealing the self-hatred that festers within and is projected outward onto unsuspecting others. All souls are diversely different and thus diversity is the true Nature of the Divine Being.


The self-hatred is no longer hiding, nor can it be contained, nor will it be allowed too. For in Being, one begins to shine brilliant light into the incredible darkness that the world has been living under. I find it interesting to watch the movies that come out and more and more are about this darkness; Star Wars, The Lord of The Rings, Super Heroes, etc. Last night I went to go see Surf's Up and it was also about this dysfunctional way we live. I highly recommend seeing it, because it taps into this whole competition vs. play as a way of living and being. The Divine Greater Being plays, for that is what love is and always has been. Loving your self, your Being is an act of play, which is about embracing what arises from within your Being that wishes to be expressed in the world in the form of unconditional love and to be embraced by other unconditional loving Beings.


6-24-07 - 11:21pm -

"A Spider Playing in the House"

Conventional knowledge is death to

our souls, and it is not really ours.

We must become ignorant of what we’ve

been taught, and be, instead, bewildered.


Run from what’s profitable and comfortable.

If you drink those liqueurs, you’ll spill the

springwater of your real life.


Forget safety.

Live where you fear to live.

Destroy your reputation.

Be notorious.


I have tried prudent planning Long enough.

From now on, I’ll be mad.

- Rumi

(Feeling The Shoulder Of The Lion: Poetry And Teaching

Stories Of Rumi, Putney, VT: Threshold Books, 1991)


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