3.20.09 - 

I was somewhat surprised to find that a month and half has gone by since my last post. I've been on another immense learning curve, which has involved unlearning some of the more subtler patterns. One would think the subtler "stuff" would be easier and in some ways it is, and yet the smaller "stuff" is more challenging  because its the glue that holds the larger chunks of dysfunction together. 

This is the year of letting go of the fitting in to the dysfunction that permeates this world. I'm not like everyone else and it's relevant to my Being to discontinue any form of fitting in. Fitting in is completely incompatible with authentic Being. I don't know about the rest of you, but I didn't come to this planet to be what everyone else wanted me to be. As a kid, I had little say in regards to how I wanted to express my authentic self. Between the dysfunctional nightmare of parents, community, church, and school, it became horrifyingly evident that authenticity could get you in a host of trouble in body and mind.

Those days are gone and this year is the year of enjoying being authentic and being free of those ridiculous patterns that imprison one in shame, guilt, and fear. I am pleased to say that I no longer have friends who live by those patterns. When you begin to realize the price you pay for fitting in, the options are really very clear. If you intellectualize this process, you will continue to be imprisoned, because it is not something one intellectualizes. Feelings are the touchstones here for freedom. I've said this before and I will say it again, thoughts are beliefs and beliefs can set you free or imprison your mind.

You are not your thoughts. Thoughts are merely differing channels of information streaming in. What you choose to focus on is the level of consciousness that will set you free or imprison you. Consciousness comes in many different flavors and colors, and that is what drives most within the insane framework of life on planet Earth. From my perspective there are only two types of consciousness; one comes from a place of utmost respect and the other one of utmost disrespect.

What is respect? Our insane society has a completely dysfunctional understanding of what this means. Respect has come to be known as obeying culturally accepted norms of behavior. What this means is that respect is a joke for the most part. We have been taught to think that respect is something we get from another. In reality, respect is an inner process. Respecting oneself