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March 2012



3.05.2012 -


"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" - Neale Donald Walsch


3.08.2012 -

I watched the movie "Hugo" last night; what a wonderful movie, very thoughtful and illuminating on many levels. The rental DVD also had another disk with an interview about the movie with Martin Scorsese; what a phenomenal director, which brought about profound awareness of our potential of being conscious directors of our lives. There were numerous lines in the movie I enjoyed, but one of the best was, "If you lose your purpose, its like you're broken...we're here for a reason". Our purpose is our authentic self, and no amount of pretending or fitting in is going to birth one's purpose. Specifically it is not something you do, more importantly, it is something you are; BEING. And, out of BEING is where your purpose expresses itself authentically. The last part of the quote, "we're here for a reason," is indicative of our existence being here on Earth. If there was no purpose, why would we be here and why would we have BEING? We're here for a reason, but it is not reasoning that will reveal it in any way shape or form.

People try to wrap their thinking about this in their heads, but your purpose is not something to be found in the data bank of the memory of concepts. Who we "think" we are is what imprisons us, preventing us from BEING authentic. Being authentic is not a set of rules or beliefs or following the cultural template of doing. If you want to be free, then begin to wake up out of the head full of ideas. Real life is not bound up in concepts or thinking. It doesn't take any thinking to be present to life. The voice you identify in your head as "thinking" is nothing more than various programs running, laying out the required parameters of behaviors to be in alignment with your conditioning; your personality is a conditioned creation in alignment with others expectations. Please understand that conditioning trains you to ignore authentic being and true reality.

If you've ever taken a behavior modification course in college or read any of B. F. Skinner's works, you will begin to crack open the door to awareness of positive and negative reinforcement. Just because you read it, doesn't mean you grasp the fullness of it outside of just thinking about it. When one is conditioned, one is reinforced to follow the training protocol. Training has a goal; always a goal to get an animal to do particular tasks; by the way, humans are animals. Humans don't "think" they are because they have conned themselves into thinking they are above animals. If one could truly open their eyes and ears spiritually, they would be in for a rude awakening to just how straight jacketed they are in conditioned training programs. Taking the straight jacket off requires one to become aware of the jacket and the yoke around one's neck; not to mention the carrot dangling off the stick in front of you. Repetitive patterns are so deeply ingrained, that the many have no awareness to recognize patterns. In their minds, their thinking blinds them to any presence in order to be aware. The whole gist of patterns to make one unconscious.

I will also add that awareness is already there, already present. Awareness isn't something one does or thinks about; it's just there arising and unfolding as the source of life; a spring bubbling up from the earth is a good analogy of this. Don't confuse life with the life most live by. Conditioned living is not life, it is an ongoing terminal case of death quagmired in the past and future of a mind like quicksand sucking one's attention into the tar pit of the mind that obliterates presence and of course awareness. If one spends even a few minutes watching their mind, then one recognizes the onslaught of thoughts that arise distracting and disorienting one away from any presence where silence would break through the frozen dialogue of dysfunctional repetitive thought patterns; thinking. Silence and awareness and stillness are the same and they are so much more than that, and the only way to realize the fullness of this is via direct experience. It is staring you right in the face and you "believe" it out of existence through thinking.

One will not find truth in thinking. Truth is obscured by thinking and one must realize that thinking is just a familiar pattern of thoughts that have been regurgitated a zillion times to become repetitive for one's obedience to them without awareness. How can anyone truly make any informed decisions with a mind full of limitations that shuts out any full awareness of life and the divine? The delusional aspect of thinking has blinded the many from realizing that creative impulses come directly from the divine; contrary to egos identification with itself being the creator; not so. All of us are part of One BEING, and there is no other that is not divine.

The many have become deluded with the ongoing chatter box in the head as the identity of their existence. Existence itself, awareness, BEING, has no vested interest in fear, guilt, shame, greed, grandiosity, and grandeur. Those delusions do not arise from BEING, they arise in order to distract one away from their awareness; their BEING. The question one needs to ask has nothing to do with thinking, but in non-thinking. Why this incessant need to think? Awareness itself will always illuminate the delusions incorporated into the need to identify with thinking, of a particular train of connected beliefs that are contrary to the present now; stop being railroaded. For the most part, thinking exists to take one away from the present, from now, from awareness itself, which is what you are. One's sense of self is not relegated to a body or a thought for identification. That is the lie the ego weaves for you to believe in, to distract you away from awareness, to distance you from awareness so you are unable to be aware; it is like having a swarm of mosquitoes suddenly engulfing you so that all of your awareness is on the mosquitoes flying in your face and everywhere else, forgetting all about the reality beyond the swarm.

The ego knows every magicians trick in the book; slippery beyond anything one can comprehend, and thinking is always part of it, which is the only key to free oneself from its imprisonment. When one becomes tired of the game of delusion, of pain and suffering, then one begins the withdrawal from the addiction of thinking; the addiction of imprisonment. Until then, no amount of thinking will relieve the pain and suffering that arises from thinking in the first place. But that is so blatantly simple and obvious that the ego convinces the many to find some other intellectually stimulating idea to chew on ad nauseum to get you to avoid realizing the simple truth.

Question the motives of the thinking in your head? Beware of its game means to "be aware" of blindly following naively into its traps of imprisonment.


3.31.12 -

"Being Something No One Can Judge"

While contemplating, I was shown "Being Something No One Can Judge." A song playing on that touched intimately with the realization gifted from Being. I went over to my computer to see what the song was and it so fit into the realization: Ulrich Schnauss - Suddenly the Trees Are Giving Way

Moments like these come and touch in ways that can never be repeated again. The beauty of the beats and rhythms were like one with the realization as it surfaced within me. There was something about the title that I still can't put into words that birthed this realization too; a poetic metaphorical password of musical beats and rhythms creating openings. 

Being showed me this realization of BEING something no on can judge. I saw this and felt this, yet putting it into words is nearly impossible and will never give one the experience of it. But words can be an attraction towards stepping into the unknown. I saw how we can BE in the world in such a way that no one can judge us or have any need to judge us. It's been said that you can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time. Perhaps one could use the word satisfy instead of pleasing. Yet, the crux of what was presented is that the many need to judge, must judge, because it is the only way they can continue NOT BEING, to live the lie, the mask, the facade, buried six feet under, behind walls of beliefs woven from conceptualized judgments; self-hatred; self-loathing, because that is the opposite of BEING authentic.

One could BE completely authentic, so authentic and so real, that no one could find anything to judge in one BEING. Why? Because when someone is completely authentic, it means they have no self-judgments. When one judges themselves, it gives rise to the false self that is the judger, and this judger MUST judge others in order to hide its self-judgments to cover over BEING authentic. Not only is this an inside conceptual job, but it sends a negative field that others pickup on that has a cause and effect. When one begins to stop judging, then the field begins to shift and there will be moments of being in a void between negating being and BEING. This in between space is where Being is presenting itself, while ego continues to chatter about trying to stop BEING. This is where one is self-conscious, perhaps embarrassed, feeling a bit foolish or uncomfortable, which by the way is all contrived by ego seeking to hook one back into ego's land of delusion. Let go of this foolishness, this embarrassment, this discomfort and you will enter the Garden of BEING authentic.

Ego is a lot like our judicial system. There's the judge, the one being judged, the defender, the prosecutor, and of course the jury. The ego plays all these parts and cons the many into its deceptive game. In addition, there are the various filters used to distort reality, specifically fear, guilt, shame, anger, and hatred for starters, with violence being the least productive expression. Then there are the cultural filters of money, power, race, sex, skin/hair/eye color, language, sexual orientation, age, gender stereotypes, other cultural stereotypes, classism, various beliefs related to religions, politics, ideologies, hobbies, and an extensive genre of interests/attitudes relating to various different ways of expressing one's self. People judge others by these things and many of these judgments are not even conscious to the many. Judgment is passed on the music you listen to, the clothes you wear, how you walk, talk, act, who you hang with, how one reacts to situations, and where you like to hangout/live. Then there's the categories of who's down, up, cool, hot, laid back, intellectual, artsy fartsy, wimpy, sports minded, under or over weight, addicted, with good/bad habits, and varied attitudes towards one's self and others. One can be phobic about something or someone or perhaps obsessed or full of desires that may or may not be approved of and don't forget fetishes and overwhelming urges to merge or purge. All of which interconnect to create a sticky mess of beliefs that are the template for which all judgments arise from.

When one finally lets go completely of this mental gibberish, one enters into an authentic space of presence that is free from negation and judgment. This space is the domain of BEING that has unlimited expansion. There is nothing but being ones authentic self. In that Being, one is impervious to what other's think about them, because it does not matter what they think. There thinking is what imprisons them and it seeks to stop you from being. When you don't care about what they think, and have no judgments about their thinking or their judging, it is in that moment that Being becomes the liberator.

What does that mean? Most have been in awe of newborn infants, their is something tangible that cannot be put into words. What is there is divine presence, complete BEING with no words, no concepts, because there isn't any for this experience. It moves some to tears. It is why people of all ages are drawn to newborn infants, wanting to hold them and even very small children. They are in that state of original blessing, untarnished and unblemished by the insanity of conceptualized thinking. Their spirit is pure, untouched by the delusional realities of enculturated belief systems. It's the closest most can come to experiencing the Divine, God, Goddess, or whatever concept you want to give it. The truth we experience in the very young is resonates with that same truth deeply buried within each person. This is why the many are drawn to them. We love in others what we have disowned in ourselves, just as we hate in others what we hate within ourselves. This is a divine truth. There is no philosophical bullshit that can deny this truth.

This same experience with infants is what BEING does for each of us. There's nothing to judge because it is pure divine presence. It's not an act contrived by ego, it has no need for approval by others or the need to be flashy or better than, because those things are the response for lack of Being authentic. This is what grace and compassion are about, what unconditional love is about. Religion and politics aren't interested in this at all and haven't for a very long time. Oh, they talk about it with empty words because in reality, words are empty of any experiential meaning. Writing a book on what it means to burn your finger on a hot stove burner isn't going to bring you anywhere near the experience of what that is. Surely it will teach fear, something to be careful about, to worry about, to be wary about, when in fact one should just BE AWARE. Bringing the hand near the burner without touching will teach one through awareness. No concepts are needed.

I had the opportunity to go home to visit family for a family reunion. My brother's second son had been born two months prior. I was looking forward to visiting and holding him. But that was not to be for much of the whole week. When I was over at their house, my nephew wouldn't let anyone hold him but his mother. The last night I was there, he allowed me to hold him while the others went to the kitchen to get a snack for my other nephew. The awe of being in his presence was beyond words. I held him in my hands in front of me and we looked at each other. I slowly walked around the living room in observance, in reverie if you will. The peace and serenity was a soothing balm. At some point he closed his eyes and this song arose out of me that I just kept softly humming that was deeply moving, like the great ocean swells gently rolling their immense presence. I wish I had a recording of that song, because it was nothing I had ever heard before. At some point in the song, he opened his eyes and our connection synchronized beyond words. I felt this opening within myself and felt a great love for this Being. I felt the energies of love expanding within me, moving beyond me. Several moments passed and suddenly I felt this wind wash over my face from him and it was love. My mind was startled, but something within me just knew this to be true. I was deeply moved by his Being communicating with me on this level, something I had never even considered. But love is felt, is known without words.

There are many who profess to be loving people, but there actions tell a different story. Newborns and children know who is loving and who is not. Adults can use all sorts of fancy words and beliefs, but in the end one cannot hide their lack of love and compassion. Judgments are like knives that cut to the chase. You might say my nephew opened my eyes and heart to something that occurs quite regularly, only the many are so stuck in the head that they are unable to BE in experiential mode to have these wonderful moments of awareness and connection with these divine Beings who incarnate into the world. Don't think you are lacking, because your divine Being is waiting patiently for you to pay attention. Seek and ye shall find. Sadly, the many construe that to mean think and ye shall find.

Clear out all that nonsense in the head. Clean house of beliefs, and remove the vines of distorted realities that twine about within to bind you to the prison of darkness. That's all it is, a darkness void of the light of presence and awareness.

BE the light of presence and awareness because that leads to Being something no one can judge. It is the razors edge between wave and particle, between the masculine and feminine, where an atom splits, but the power of BEING is balanced and harmonized in such a way that there is no destruction, only Divine Being. None of this is going to make any sense in the head. Only through letting go into presence and awareness will you begin to slip into the embrace of Being to become fulfilled in such a way that one realizes the eternal fullness of Being one with all that is. It is the letting go into wholeness and completeness, of the letting go of the IDEA and JUDGMENT of separateness.

Consider why the need for not Being? What the value for not BEING? Who does not Being serve? Certainly not Being, because that is your authentic self. So again, who does it serve? I will tell you this, what not Being serves is pain and suffering, of self-loathing and self-hating; FEAR. Once you begin to experience the presence of love with your awareness in Being, there is no going back to the prison of resistance (fear).

The power, presence, and awareness of love makes the power of fear look like a grain of sand in the Sahara desert. The many think this absurd, but that is only because they THINK its so. And they are blinded by thinking, unable to be present in their own awareness that would shed light on this truth. Stop thinking and become acquainted with your presence and awareness in BEING.

All these words are merely an attempt to allow you to realize the limitations of words to pave the way towards living an experiential way of living in presence and awareness to become acquainted with the truth of the divine heart.  



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