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November 2011

 

 

11.05.11 -

 

Wife Auctions? Why Marriage Has Never Had Any "Sanctity"

SeXis Magazine / By Rachel Rabbit White

 

Historically marriage has varied widely, from polygamy to the wife-auctions of the 17th century, to the monogamy of today. Which type of marriage again is the one with sanctity?

 

Kim Kardashian threw a lavish multi million dollar wedding, only to divorce two months later. The gossip has prompted a wave of tweets along the lines of... “tell me again why the sanctity of marriage is threatened by gays?” But I ask, has marriage ever had sanctity?

 

Whether you grew up getting your ideas about marriage from your family or pop culture, there is a lot of social significance in what marriage means and, historically, a lot to unravel.

 

It seems hard to argue that there is any “sanctity” to the institution of marriage. Sure, humans have long been marrying, and according to EJ Graff, scholar and author of the book What is Marriage For, there are five static reasons: 1. property, 2. kin 3. money 4. order 5. heart. Yet, the types of marriages we see vary greatly, from polygamy to the wife-auctions of the 17th century, to the monogamy of today. Which type of marriage again is the one with sanctity?

 

Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage a History, also points out the New Testament was somewhat “suspicious of marriage.” “It was considered holier to leave your family and spread the word of God”— apparently being single was a more “sanctified” state than marriage.

 

“Marriage has not only varied from culture to culture, but changed over time in the same cultures. Even the biblical tradition of marriage has changed,” says Coontz. “The type of family most mentioned in the first five books of the Old Testament was polygynous — one man with several wives.” At some points in history, if a man had more land, he would take more wives to tend to it. “Commoners took multiple wives if they owned enough property or livestock and needed more female labor. Or, as with the Plains Indians, when they were hunting for the fur trade and killing more animals than they needed for household consumption,” says Coontz in a previous interview with Solidarity-US. It wasn’t just commoners taking multiple wives, but often more elite members of society, who took wives to ensure they had enough heirs.

 

While the fact that marriage has never meant the same thing throughout time pokes holes in its “sanctity” the phenomenon of matrimony remains. The only culture Coontz found that didn’t marry was the Na or Mosuo, a small matriarchal society near Tibet. Because Na people don’t marry or live with partners, children are raised by their mothers and mother’s family.

 

In her studies, Coontz found some form of marriage in almost all societies. How has marriage spread so far? “The one thing marriage does in every single society is create in-laws. Marriage arose as a way of extending social cooperation between groups: acquiring allies, trading partners and making peace. The Anglo-Saxon word for wife is peace maker,” says Coontz.

 

Yet, of course, another gap in the holiness of marriage is the coercion involved. Historically, for the peace making wife, there was little choice. “One can say that women were once chattel” says Marilyn Yalom, author of History of the Wife, “In Ancient Greece they were ‘gifted’ from their fathers to husbands.”

 

In England in the 17th century, wife selling became popular. This was during a time when only the very rich could divorce. The wife sale would be announced in a newspaper, and during the event, the woman would be led around by a rope or ribbon, shown off to the crowd and then sold to the highest bidder. According to E.P. Thompson’s study of the sale of wives, the wife might already be living with her new partner, who would surely be her highest bidder — though she might be subject to bids from complete strangers. Thompson tells of one bargaining where the woman didn’t like the highest bidder, so she and the former husband opted for a lesser bidder.

While women may have been bought and sold as wives, they did have important roles in the family businesses. In the 17th century and prior, a woman who married a shopkeeper would keep the books and deal with customers. The wife was a business partner, but legally, the husband owned all wages. “That situation began to change in the mid-1800s, as judges and legislators began to allow wives to keep the wages they earned. Women also succeeded in getting some states to offer more grounds for divorce. Back then women initiated divorce proceedings more often than men did, and that is still true today,” says Coontz.

The Industrial Revolution marked the beginning of another shift in the culture of marriage. “Work left home. Men were kicked out of the house into offices and upper and middle class wives were locked inside. Instead of being a shared economic bond, marriage became an emotional haven,” says Graff.

The purpose of marriage went through another fundamental change. Instead of marrying to start a business together, which was apparently holy, marrying for love was a shocking new idea. Until the 18th century, families had the biggest say over marriage. In this way, young men were just as much prisoners to marriage, having not much more choice than women. Read this way, the institution can be seen as less about men controlling women and more about families controlling their offspring.

This new idea, marrying for love, was the radical idea that humans had a right to happiness. “Social conservatives of the day were horrified. They predicted that once marriage was based on love, some people might refuse to marry without love, while others might demand the right to divorce if there was no love. They worried that men might stop exerting their authority over their wives and start giving in to them. It took a while for these things to play out, but they were quite right,” says Coontz.

And today, social conservatives are just as outraged as where marriage is now headed — to equality, for the right of all couples to marry. But if there is anything sanctioned about marriage, in my view, it is that marriage always shifts over time. And this direction is natural and inevitable.

Statistics show that, for the first time, the majority of Americans are for same sex marriage. But as these victories take hold, there is an emerging movement of anti-marriage activists asking, “should we be questioning the so-called sanctity of marriage, or should we be questioning whether or not we as a culture, should be moving toward more marriage at all?” Surely, Kim Kardashian will be “moving toward more marriage,” at some point again in her lifetime. But maybe this time, we’ll lose the idea that there was ever any sanctity in it.

http://www.alternet.org/story/152969/wife_auctions_why_marriage_has_never_had_any_%22sanctity%22?akid=7817.83597.AwDmOZ&rd=1&t=31

 

 

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind." - Marcus Garvey

 

 

 

11-11-11 -

The mind is like a grave yard for the dead thoughts and beliefs that are the ghosts of yesterday pining for tomorrow, which is also dead and unborn. The irony of this is the many are grave robbers that keep returning to dig up the dead, thinking they can resurrect the future in utter futility. There is no past, no future, no resurrection in the mind. Delusion is its name; illusion is its game. Everything is perfect just as it is...Mirror, mirror on the wall...

 

11-25-11 -

These are snippets of ideas and information to contemplate on:

Seems all the businesses are having sales today, using the term Black Friday. The term reminds me of the Black Plague and is quite similar to how the many are plagued by consumerism. Sounds like a day at a mass funeral for the shopping dead!

I've decided the capitalist system needs a different name to . Something like greed system, control system, domination system, dysfunction system, or insanity system.

The following news article talks about sustainable debt; for whom? The banks? It sure doesn't sustain the people; just the rich. I'd call that predatory lending and spending. Greek budget will 'cut deficit' The new Greek government submits its plans for next years budget promising to almost halve the deficit.

The need to control others is directly related to how one controls themselves to not be authentic. This is directly related to the 1% feeding off the 99% doing whatever is necessary to maintain their dominance of your imprisonment to their rules? Authenticity shares a balanced spread sheet of inclusive prosperity for all. Money is a concept driven by love or fear. Drop the fear and the game rules change.

Your freedom doesn't require another to relinquish theirs. This is true on an individual level, but presents itself more destructively within politics, religion, and business. The drive behind this delusion is self-hatred and self-loathing. If you truly loved yourself, you would realize the lunacy of this drive to harm another. The reasoning is the problem and is indicative of how one harms themselves through the darkness of blind reasoning void of the light of love.

 

People spend infinite amounts of time, effort, energy, and money "seeking" the Divine. What one seeks cannot be sought, because it has never disappeared. What is invisible to the mind is visible to the heart. What one identifies with becomes their identity, leaving divinity's present, unaware they are led astray, seeking the divine labyrinth of past and future reasons for guidance to nowhere. The mind is nowhere; the heart is everywhere. Being frees one from identity, releasing them of the burden of the past and future no more. Letting go is an act of freedom, requiring no effort, to accept the gift that needs no giving; Self-Acceptance.

 

People have this "idea" that God (choose your culturally acceptable name/title), punishes, rewards, condemns, but these are merely projections of insane humans lost in their heads. It is lack of presence that prevents the many from realizing there is no punishment other than one's self-loathing, self-hating, and self-judgment. There is no reward withheld unless of course one lives in the head which denies by sheer ignorance. And, condemnation arises not from God, but from the many spinning their wheels in an endless tirade of fear, guilt, and shame sold as Love in the name of religion. Thou shalt not judge is the only sin, for it is the beginning of all delusions. Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

To BE in wonder, is to refrain from wandering in the head with endless thinking ad nauseum. Wonder is being present to bear witness to the spirit in all things, rather than thinking the actual experience to death.

The opening process of flowers, the movement, is identical to opening the chakra centers, specifically the heart center, as well as the body and mind energetically. It is what we are, a flowering, an opening to authentic union with Mother/Father. The only requirement is letting go, as this opening is really relaxing the grip of fear, of resistance to authenticity. This is what love is. Feel this opening in your own body/mind; thinking is not required. The video offers a visual example of what I am talking about - Life of flowers

How do you tell people they live in a virtual reality in their head? How do you convince them they are "believing" in a distortion so vast that it effectively numbs their awareness, creating a veil of amnesia clouding out awareness of the only truth that exists; love. All the rest is nothing more than a delusion meant to blind and delude the many into a prison constructed to keep out the light of love. Living in the mind is like spending your whole life sitting in a theater, thinking you are living your life.

The only sin is self-hatred. This is the source of all judgments. One judges others as a projection of their own self-judgments. No judgments = no sin = no fear = no guilt = no shame. The choice is self-love or self-hatred..

 

 

Europe Bans Airport X-Ray Body Scanners Amid Cancer Concerns | Health and Safety Concerns Prompt EU'

 

Why Microsoft, Google want to end Defense of Marriage Act

 

 

Homophobia is about fear of one's own homosexual desire. Authentic people, meaning those who don't judge themselves, have no need to judge others. The need to judge others and control them is indicative of their own self-loathing and self-hatred of their own sexuality. Thou shalt not judge is usually overlooked for something more intellectually stimulating called mental masturbation (fear). It should be known that fear is an outside influence...

The Church in its infinite wisdom centuries ago outlawed sexual masturbation. At least that's what they "thought". However that may be, they forgot to ban mental masturbation which has caused more pain and suffering than sexual masturbation ever could.

"It is wrong to think that that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations." - Khalil Gibran

And as a response to the above quote, the many have no idea how they strangle and stifle the very spirit from them, because they are completely oblivious to their own authentic selves that was squashed when they were children. Generation after generation of insanity rooted in reason.

We forfeit 3/4 of our lives to be like other people and then we forfeit the other 1/4 trying to figure out what the hell happened.

 

 

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