Your Relationship To Self
Relationships start with how we relate with ourselves period. Our number one relationship is always with our authentic self and the divine, which is One in the same. If you don't have this relationship, then you are not truly operating from a place of authentic union within; wholeness. There is this dysfunctional idea that has been spread via cultural programming that the external other is our salvation, is our other half, that without that we are incomplete; utter non-sense. This idea is born of intellectual insanity. One can hear the various songs about one's lover leaving them and they can't go on or they are nothing or some other absurd non-sense that denotes a lack or incompleteness.
Incompleteness is a mindset, born of a lot of beliefs that have been conditioned, indoctrinated, and ingrained into us from repeated exposure to adults who had the same mind infection that believed that they were not complete without the other. As children, we had no choice in the matter, with years of living with others who enforced through obedience and experience that we needed someone else to be whole. This whole non-sense took us away from our completeness with the divine that made us whole. Instead we were taught to abandon our own authentic self for the false delusion of incompleteness.
Learning how to love one's self without judgment is the key component to finding inner peace and self-acceptance. One can go from one relationship or friendship after another seeking something that can never be found in the other, but only within one's self. This is where the divine lives and it is our birth right to be tuned into and dancing with this. When one loves themselves unconditionally without guilt, shame, or fear, then one has no need from anyone outside themselves to make them complete. One coming from this place of unconditional love for themselves, allows them to be with another without needing anything (neediness). One has no need to control, manipulate, coerce, be jealous, angered or resentful about something the other has done/not done, said/not said, as it has no bearing on their self-love and self-respect.
This is not an easy thing to comprehend as it goes against all the social/religious beliefs that have been culturally conditioned into the many. This is not something one thinks about, rather it is something one experiences as an experiential understanding deeply within their own authentic being. When the goal becomes a willingness to move beyond the superficiality into the deeper authentic self, then one will experience this for themselves. There are no outside authorities on your authentic being, nor laws or rules that override your deep experiences of self-love. There is a peace and stillness that radiates into your full awareness that proves without doubt that you are enough without flaw.
There are no rules about what unconditional love is. Unconditional love moves beyond the limitations of physical form, sexual orientation, ageism, gender stereotypes, prejudices, sexism, racism, religious doctrines, fear, guilt, hatred, and the impurity of the various cultural political laws of intellectual imprisonment. The heart has but one law; non-judgment.
The imperfections that exist are the delusions of the mind and the illusions of cultural conformity. The cure is to stop listening to the judgments of the negative mind chatter that seeks to distract one from the direct experience of presence that would remove the chains from the heart.
When one begins working on their relationship within themselves, amazing changes occur in one's life. The truth will set you free from a lot of dysfunctional beliefs/patterns and one begins to plant seeds for a wonderful life with their authentic self and with others who are rooted in authenticity; non-judgment.