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December 2008



12.08.08 - 


I haven't written much because I've been spending a lot of time going within. As we open up to our divine inner space, we come to understand how important this connection is for our body, mind, soul, and spirit. We can no longer live in the intellect alone, for it has no bearing on one's spirit, one's soul, one's authentic Being. The world has been and continues to be a reflection for what has been going on in the inner plane, collectively as well as individually. This perspective is only readily understood and seen as one continues to let go of the intellectualization of life. Life is real and authentic, full of wonder, ecstasy, joy, bliss, and amazing possibilities, but only when one is free of the egoic mind as master. The life that most live is based on fantasy, a fantasy that is incessantly regurgitated from past and future tripping, neither of which is actually existent in the present moment. Until one begins to take the reigns under control, the ego will take you wherever it wants in order to distract you from realizing the reigns.


At one time, early in our lives as children, we began taking up the reigns. Unfortunately for the many, they were forced in many dysfunctional ways to relinquish their right to self sovereignty, self love, and self-creation. The many are like walking zombies, because no one is home. The house (body) is present, but all the lights inside are turned off; Light is the consciousness of spirit. Without this light, this energy, this consciousness, we are caught up in a life of darkness, which births pain and suffering, which is focused only on the external world. This delusion is an addiction that can only be cured by becoming present. There is no other way. One either chooses to wake up out of the mechanical way of living or transcend the delusion by working diligently at getting present above all else. As I have said before, a person will only change when the pain and suffering becomes greater than the fear of change.


Fear is nothing more than a negation of spirit; it is the shutting down of the flow of spirit, of energy, of consciousness. The only two fears we are born with are fear of loud noises and fear of heights; the rest are learned via cultural pressure and conformity.


The old world has been entrenched in fear for so long that we have become comfortable with it. Doesn't matter that the many are crippled with pain and suffering, because it is familiar to them. Since they are ruled by their egos, they have no awareness of the present that would show them just how delusional their lives have bee under the domain of egos future/past tripping that has overwhelmed our inner space. When one tries to meditate for a few minutes, they are overwhelmed with hundreds of thoughts meant to distract one from gaining an inner foothold to their authentic self. Ego creates your world for you by a flow of images of what happened and what could happen in each instance with a person, place or thing.


Being that we came from the Creator, then it makes sense that we too are creators. To truly create, one has to be conscious, and when one is not conscious, one is manipulated into creating what another dictates. The world as it has been being created, has been a fake masterpiece of no real value, no real meaning, no real authenticity. This is why it is finally crumbling, due to the fact that it was built on a poorly built foundation. 


In a recent dream, I was standing on an open plain. In the distance was this mountain and their was a very narrow peak that continued to higher and higher till it began to fall over. At first I thought it was coming towards me and I started to run, but upon looking back I realized it was falling the other way. When it hit the ground, their was a huge colossal quake from the impact. A few days later I realized I was being shown that the false mountain was going to crumble. What we have been witnessing in the last month or two has been the crumbling of the financial institutions. What will continue is the continued destruction of anything that is not built on a solid foundation in body, mind, soul, and spirit.


In 1995, I was attending Seattle Central Community College. I was headed to the exit to leave, when I heard this incredible sound of a didgeridoo and flute playing. I realized it was coming from the stairwell to the left of the doors. The sound was so incredibly surreal and spiritual. I was literally drawn to the stairs, where I then sat and pulled out my journal and pen. I proceeded to have this poem flow through me from spirit, of which I wrote down word for word. Each time I read this poem, I understand it more deeper than before. This poem is relevant in understanding what it is we are currently going through and will continue to do so until the reign of ego is broken.




12.11.08 -


Change is not something that people are comfortable with. Mainstream culture trained, educated, and brainwashed into rigid thought forms and behaviors. The creative process as authentic creator beings is such that it is understood quite effortlessly that change is essential and the normal for creating the varied aspects of reality and or life. Every time consciousness moves to another level, people react negatively. The many have been imprisoned for so long that they have unknowingly become their own prison guards.


Change requires a letting go of the old to make way for the new. This is discomforting for those who are imprisoned in egoic reality. It's important to understand that what no longer works functionally, eventually crumbles because the foundation was poorly made. What we are involved in at present is the old ways no longer working. For new ways to work, people have to let go of what doesn't work. The system has made the many dependent on them, so as to ensure obedience. Blind obedience, which is a norm in our culture eventually creates problems for the ruling class, because any sort of dysfunctional pattern eventually falls apart, wreaking havoc on multiply levels.


Enough have awakened sufficiently to invoke their own creative energy to effect change on numerous levels. A person has been eating junk food for a very long time. They come to a point realizing their health is not doing so well, and in some cases they have become dis-eased to where it is life threatening. This is what is going on in our world. Old habits are being updated with greater understanding and truths that allow for greater well being and health. Changes are required in one's diet, which means one stops buying, consuming, and doing what doesn't benefit well being. Those businesses that didn't support well being will undoubtedly lose business and those that support well being will gain business. Life is about debits and credits, gains and losses, but the bottom line isn't profit; its called well being, spiritual well being, and this is essential for well being in body, mind, soul, and spirit.


Waking up is not an easy thing to do. It requires one to let go, so as to see what is not working, because in reality they are blind to what is not working. People keep thinking if they can just get it right, everything will be all right; if I follow all the rules, the system will work. Unfortunately, this is not a true reality. The rules are a facade that one pays a price for buying into. People are finding out about that entrenched facade at the moment. The old ways are dying and they will crumble because they are based on lies, deception, manipulation, coercion, intimidation, fear, guilt, shame, and violence.


John Bradshaw used the mobile as an analogy to dysfunctional families. Whatever one portion of the mobile does, it affects the whole mobile. Every aspect of the Universe is based on this principle, it is something that one cannot get away

from; ever. What one does to another person, place, or thing has a responding action. And while it is possible to force the response you want from others, eventually the energy dynamics of suppressing the natural rhythms of creation will right themselves. Truth can be suppressed for a long time, but eventually it will arise again, and again and again. Truth is the light and it can never be extinguished; only hidden. It's like the clouds covering up the Sun, but the Sun still remains bright as ever behind the clouds.


Authentic Being is this balance, and it has always been in balance, and will continue on in balance, because nothing can alter or change the fabric of the Universe which is Love itself. One can deny it, but not for long. Maybe not this life or the next one, but eventually it will come to light. To deny the light is to bring pain and suffering upon oneself. People have been enduring pain and suffering for a long time and the time has come when it can no longer be suppressed or ignored. The time is upon us to let go of what is not working and be open to the possibilities.


Change requires one to educate themselves, it requires curiosity, inquisitiveness, creativity, intuition, and authenticity. But the essential ingredient is honesty and integrity first and foremost. Being a creator being is supposed to be fun, because the truth is one creates what they are passionate about. There are many who "think" they are passionate about something, but in reality they are in it for the power, money, or prestige. They are blinded by their own egos. True passion is not interested in what others think, nor does it spend its energy disrespecting others or forcing others to their way of rationale. True passion is respectful of others and honors each persons sovereignty.


Each of us as a divine spark of consciousness/spirit has their own passions. We are each unique in this manner of Being. The idea of enforced sameness is based on a system of greed and power, which has systematically disrespected everyone but those in control. This is not the way of the light; Ever.


So, the point here is about questioning reality. It's about looking at what you have been doing, why you are doing it, who told you it was supposed to be that way and why. To be authentic is to seek your own inner truth, because real truth arises from within. Perhaps you watch or hear or read something and assume it is the truth. But, ultimately the truth is within and what is external triggers this inner awareness. Absolute truths do not harm others, do not judge, do not condemn, nor do they exclude. Absolute truths have no need of guilt, shame, fear, anger, hatred, violence, or killing.


This is not the way of the light. All that I've mentioned about take one away from the light and more you engage these aspects, the further one falls from grace. The idea of any sort of ism is simply another egoic context of maintaining separation for the purpose of controlling the other. The light is not interested in religious or political ideology based in any of these things. Those organizations or groups of individuals who align themselves with this sort of ideology are on their way out. Put your focus on those people, places, and things that support all beings.




12.16.08 - I've been reading an interesting book lately. Quite awhile back I think I mentioned the movie "The Secret". While the movie has its valid points, it seemed to miss out on a great deal of understanding of the creative process itself. I'd been wondering about this for awhile, since most of what I'd been checking out seemed to be the same old thing; intellectualizing the whole process. I was in a bookstore this Summer looking for an unrelated book, when I ran into a book called, The Path Of Least Resistance, by Robert Fritz. The book was exactly what I'd been wondering about. I consider this a must read for anyone who is interested in becoming a fully operational Creator, as we were all meant to be. If you decide to check out the book, make sure you get the most recent one, because its been updated by the author.


What has been ironic while reading the book, is realizing that I'd been doing this process unconsciously, but intuitively. Because of not fully understanding what I was doing, and having no one with any real awareness of this process around me, either in friends or teachers, I took some serious detours after graduating. I have no regrets about the detours, because I have awakened a great many things within my own Being, and while it has been extremely challenging, the understandings have not been lost at all. When I look at the world in regards to how it is currently being manifested by unconscious people, it is amazing we have been able to persevere amidst the insanity to rise above it with higher awareness.


The old ways are not fixable, because the level of awareness that was used to create the situations, was already distorted. Einstein said, "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." (other quotes) The book I mentioned, touches exactly on this issue. One has to create a new way, rather than trying to re-invent the same old junk. Humanity has been like a blind dog chasing after its tail, oblivious of anything outside its own belligerent, incessant, obsessive need to ignore the obvious. The more awake I become the more amazed I am at how deaf, dumb, and blind humankind is, even when it continues to cause horrific pain and suffering.


The problem as outlined in The Path Of Least Resistance, is that the problems arise from structural conflicts; thought structures is a phrase I would use with this. Until we change the underlying structures by creating new one's, the conflict will continue to go on unabated. The reason we seem to be unable to change the structure is due to not understanding our innate abilities as creator beings. Children understand this, but for the most part by the time they grow up to be free to truly create, they have been systematically dumbed down by family, peers, community, religion, education, politics, and government.


The only way out of this mess is to understand who we truly are in Being and what we can truly accomplish as creator beings. People keeps looking for easy outs, and unfortunately there are no easy outs. Life requires that we face reality as it truly is, rather than sticking our heads in the sand to avoid dealing with it; and this is the cause of our current problems. Creating requires that one pay attention to what is working and what is not in order to change direction. Comically, the system would have not pay attention in order to maintain an established routine (boredom) in order to maximize profits. But, in order to do this, it needs to control the outcomes to guarantee profits for the few.


The implications of this are staggering, if one can pull their head out of the sand to see and understand. Spirit is not entrenched, nor does it need to control, nor is it interested in spending time putting spiritual beings on guilt, shame, and fear trips; powerless humans do this, so they can feel in control and powerful. Fritz discusses this in his book as well. But this is obvious to anyone upon reaching a certain level of awareness. The old world is not going to go away until humans begin to awaken their dormant creative powers to create the new world. This is what we do. One cannot re-design flawed creations that arose from limited thinking. In fact, most of what has been created by humanity has little value in the larger picture.


Before anyone reacts to this, it would be wise to ask pertinent questions as to what that implies. What's the larger picture? If I cannot see the cause of my pain and suffering, then what is it that I need to become aware of? How does one go about doing this? Are there others out there who know and what would it be like being in community with them? People are quick to condemn, but extremely slow to explore new possibilities. And there is a reason as to why this occurs as well. Do you want to know...


When one gets tired of the old ways, and becomes fed up with the pain and suffering, then one will begin to entertain new possibilities.




12.20.08 -


I ran into a DVD at the video store tonight called, "Orgasmic Birth." I highly recommend everyone watching this. Watch a portion of the video on the website. You might also find it at your local video stores, especially at the independent ones. This movie is an incredible eye and heart opening experience. We as a species, do a great dis-service to those souls who are incarnating into this world. What we currently do is a traumatization to the incoming soul, as well as the mother and father. Watching this movie triggered a great deal of emotions in my own self.


Back in 1998 I went through my first Rebirthing session. Rebirthing is a particular rhythmic breathing process, that typically releases trauma surrounding our birth, as well as other traumatic issues, of which are discussed by Leonard Orr on his website. After doing the breath process for about 20 minutes or so, my body released the stuck energy that I had suppressed at the time of my birth. In that instant, I recalled clearly coming out the birth canal. The feelings of having to squeeze through a very small opening was overwhelming to say the least. As I recalled leaving my mother's body, I started sobbing, and in my inner consciousness, was the thought that I kept saying over and over as I sobbed, I want to go back, I want to go back, I want to go back. I had this sense of having my umbilical cord cut, which was terrifying, since it was my life line for oxygen. The feelings were horrible, of not being able to breathe, like there was a blockage preventing air from coming in and out. I was then lifted up and slapped on the buttocks, which was just as overwhelming. The last thing I recalled, was being taken away from my mother and put into the nursery; this was where my abandonment issue arose. Being taken away from the mother is traumatic, since she is our lifeline to all of our needs getting met. This is terrifying to a newborn.


Through this whole process, there were two aspects occurring. The first was reliving the experience of Sherman as an infant, the second as the observer of the event with great clarity coming in about what occurred during birth. Much later, I found out that my mother had been drugged, so was not awake during my birth. The other thing I found out was that after birth, the child is supposed to be put into the mother's arms, where the child eventually clears out the throat passage to begin the breathing process. When this is accomplished, the umbilical cord naturally shuts down, and one can see it deflate. At this point, the umbilical cord can be cut without traumatizing the infant.


My experience of having my umbilical cord cut before being able to breathe on my own reminded me of being down deep in the water skin diving, and suddenly having your breathing apparatus cut and not being able to breathe, and having this incredible terror of suffocating and dying. And that is exactly what the experience felt like. Unfortunately, during that time, I was still caught up in intellectualizing things for the most. We can have peak experiences and yet fall right back into intellectual egoic mode. 


Eight years later, I was doing a four day spiritual retreat at the ocean. I was standing on the beach in silent meditation, when this young man walked by down by the surf. I noticed that his right arm looked like it was paralyzed as he walked by. I had this empathic experience where I literally felt his pain, which was so painful, that my knees actually buckled. I was so overwhelmed with his feelings that I began to cry. I watched him on by and go over to a nearby log on the beach. A few minutes later I heard someone call his name and I looked down the beach and saw his parents coming. In that instant I knew they were the cause of his pain. In that moment, another opening was triggered. I knew this was going to be huge, and ran back into the forest. I knew this is what tried to come up in a lucid dream in Spring of 2001:


"In the lucid dream, I was sitting near these huge windows high up on some mountain  I could see out into the distance other mountain tops as well. This woman walked up behind me and asked me if I was religious. I told her I guess so, and she asked if I was ready. I told her I was and then felt this pressure on all four corners of my inner eye. Immediately the view of the mountains disappeared, and I saw what looked like earthen layers peeling away until this opening appeared, sort of like a tunnel. I could see that it curved over to the left and yet I could also see through it, much like one would with fiber optic cable. At the other end was a blurred image of a woman. I instantly knew this was my friend from my spiritual home. The home sickness that hit me was so unbearable that I started to sob. At the same time, I knew if I couldn't control my emotions, she would leave. I also knew this was the way it was because their energy is so much higher in vibration than ours, that we perceive it as pain, due to our own constrained consciousness. I grabbed hold of the sides of the mattress, and tighten my entire body as I lay there in bed, but that effect of controlling my emotions only a few moments, and the sobbing wanted release. I felt her pull away, which only made me more upset and eventually she was gone. At that point, I was inconsolable with the loss of my friend, and the sobbing wanted releasing. But, I was not in a safe place to let it out; so instead I suppressed it. That was a mistake in hindsight, because I was in pain for a long time after that."


I managed to get back about a couple of hundred feet when it opened up and I crumpled to the ground, landing face down in the dirt. I just started sobbing and then realizations occurred to me about my birth again. The clarity was so clear as I realized that I was conscious at birth, that it wasn't just a memory, but an actual experience that I recalled with vivid details. There was no intellectualizing what occurred, as it was clear to me that I experienced my birth, as well as the subsequent years, exactly how I would today as an adult. There was no difference at all in the two contexts. And incredibly deep awareness literally shook me to the very foundations of my Being.


Again, there was the one part sobbing, and the other part observing what was occurring. I've sobbed before during body work and breath work, but this release was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I realized after being born that I was no longer in my spiritual home, and was here for the duration of my incarnation. This was extremely painful for me, knowing I could not go back. I felt alone and isolated during those first few days and the subsequent time that came to pass. I recalled staying conscious till about 8 yrs. old, at which point I began shutting down unconsciously when the pain and suffering of living in an insane world became to much to bear. There were a lot of details about that period of my life, as well as the current times we are involved in. There was also a part about those children who are autistic who figured out ways to pull back psychically to create a buffer that allows them to avoid having to feel the insanity around them. The sobbing went on for about two hours and during the whole time, I was unable to move at all. At some point I had to go to the bathroom, but couldn't move, and wondered if I might have to just let go. But eventually I was able to get up to go. How ironic, because at birth we are unable to move at all as well. I suspect that in reliving my birth, I was reliving every single aspect of it, to include being unable to move.


The releases that occur through full body sobbing and even the spectrum of controlled crying that occur, is about clearing out trauma, which is nothing more than stuck energy. What occurs during traumatic times, is the body switches to fight or flight mode, which prepares us to protect ourselves in either of those two ways; fight or flight. When we can do neither, the body takes over and we go into shock. This occurs to protect us from the event, so as to not feel what is going on. Peter Levine discusses this eloquently in his book, Waking The Tiger. The example he gives is a gazelle being chased down by a lion. The gazelle goes into fight or flight mode and flees. The lion takes down the gazelle, and in that moment the gazelle goes into shock in order to protect itself so as to not feel any pain. If for some reason the lion is chased off, the gazelle eventually comes out of shock. How this occurs is through trembling and shaking, which dissipates the pent up energy of flight or fight. Once this energy has been cleared, the animal moves on with no trauma whatsoever. Humans react the same way as animals, since we are animals, but we are different due to having the neo-cortex. 


In modern times, due to cultural conditioning, humans tend to over-ride this natural process after shock. Humans tend to rigidify the body, just like I did during my lucid dream opening, to shut down the bodily shaking and trembling, as well as the sobbing or crying, which effectively suppresses and blocks the energy. This effectively locks in trauma. We are unable to fully recover and come into energetic balance without releasing the suppressed energy. What we have is a society full of those who suppress the healing process on an ongoing basis. The ego maintains a stranglehold, preventing the necessary releasing process essential for healing. Since we are all traumatized from the insanity of dysfunction in the world, we are unable to awaken to our authentic Being and higher states of consciousness due to this suppression. An excellent book on this subject is "Waking The Tiger," by Peter Levine, who also discusses how the world has been in state of trauma for quite some time.


Newborns and infants cry for a reason, and it is not just idle sounds coming out for no particular reason. Once you recall your own birth, utter clarity sets in explaining what other infants are going through. Put yourself in their place and imagine what it would be like to be utterly helpless and completely dependent on others. With this understanding, one can see why the many avoid those who are handicapped. Adults have the same need to cry as well, and it essential for health and wellness.


A year later, around the same time during Summer 2007, I awoke in a dream again. The lucid dream was from when I was in my early years, perhaps 2-4 yrs old. I had this profound realization about my time on planet Earth. The details of the dream were such that I began sobbing. As I shifted out of the lucid state into the waking realm, I lay there crying off and on about the realization. This went on for about a half hour or so, until suddenly there was another inner opening, where I suddenly remembered a time prior to being born into this world, and experiencing this incredibly overwhelming level of compassion that I had in choosing to incarnate. This feeling was so far removed from what we experience as love on this planet, that I just started sobbing all over again. This experience ultimately left me with the understanding of where it is we as humans are evolving too.


Deepak Chopra in his book, The Book Of Secrets, states that the consciousness we had at birth is the same consciousness we have at 50 or 100. I agree not because he says so, but because I realized this about my own experiences. While watching the movie Orgasmic Birth, specifically where the infants come out of the womb, a great deal of emotions and feelings arose. One can see that the infant is having difficulty breathing at first, because the infant is having to clear out its throat in order to breathe. But, you will also see that the umbilical cord is left untouched until the infant is breathing on its own. While in the hospitals, the doctors almost immediately cut the umbilical cord.


Ironically, those in the movie discuss the spiritual implications of a natural birth, and I was amazed to find out that the first hour after birth is a highly ecstatic state for both the mother and child, a bonding that takes place. Unfortunately this is not as common an occurrence as it should be, for ensuring the health and spiritual well being of the child, as well as the mother too. There is a lot of important information in this movie that people should be aware about, not just for those having babies, but for all of us who were babies at one time. I believe what distracts us from the realizations of what I am discussing is the size of the body, as well as the helplessness of them, and also the cultural conditioning that has dumbed down our own awareness.


This is very important, since we are not the form we inhabit, that is the distorted context we misunderstand. We are a soul that incarnates into the physical form. The sobbing I did upon leaving my mother's womb wasn't about going back into the womb, it was about wanting to go back to my spiritual home. This is what the opening at the beach was about, of recalling that I was stuck here and could not go back. For me it was an overwhelming shock. I have been told that most don't remember much of their birth, but I have been seriously rethinking this since uncovering my own remembrance. We as a culture, have not progressed enough in our inner openings to remember who we truly are. The many have been conditioned that children are blank slates for the most part and need to be trained. We do not listen to them, nor do we allow them to be who they are. One needs to question why this is so? if in fact we are souls, and most religions state we are, then why do we treat children the way we do? It is quite obvious to me that our responsibility is to create a safe place for souls to unfold. This idea that adults know better is completely ridiculous, especially when we begin to understand how much insanity exists in the world. So with this in mind, what is it that unconscious adults are going to teach children? The answer to that is unconsciousness.


No one asks themselves where they came from prior to birth? Why is that? Where do we come from as souls? This is an excellent question to ask, because as eternal souls, we are not given a one shot deal as the traditional Christian church would have us believe or any other religion that supports this limiting idea of the spiritual life. There is a lot more to this process and I am still coming to terms with a great deal of remembrance, insight, and understanding that has been unfolding at the speed of light, much to my own dismay. To say I have been overwhelmed is an understatement. At some point I hope to organize my writings on the matter for a book about the subject. In the meantime, ponder on what I have said, because how we interact with the young is indicative of the insanity of the adults on this planet, who have no idea what they are dealing with.


One father in the movie said when the baby was born into the room, it was like God was present in the room. I will state unequivocally that this is the case, but it is not a male god as many have been taught. What people are experiencing with infants at birth, if they are in touch with it, is the closest thing they are able to experience of God/Goddess consciousness as is possible without leaving this plane of existence. It is why people are so drawn to infants and children; it is the light of the divine that has not been stifled into conditioned masks and body armor. We are all Light Consciousness, but the many have had their lights dowsed and buried under layers that brought about unconsciousness.


The birthing process, childhood training, religious dogma, educational dogma, and cultural dogma eventually take their toll on the light of the divine being able to shine out into the world. There is more and you know on some level that this is so. In due time, more information will become available for each person to make up their own minds, from their own direct experience via their opened hearts.


There are many sites dedicated to Natural Childbirth; just put the phrase into a search engine.




12.21.08 -


Today is the  Winter Solstice, where we are at the place of the least amount of light in a day. One could say humanity has been stuck in this space for some time, and is now just beginning to awaken to what the light truly represents. I ran across this website awhile back with some insightful information about paradise:


"Paradise comes from a Persian word “paradeiza” meaning “an enclosed space”. The Hebrew word for paradise is “pardes”, meaning an orchard or garden of fruit trees. And Eden, which it is sometimes referred to comes from the Sumarian’s, meaning “a place of lushness that became barren”.

Of course, we are all aware of our creation myth – that of being “cast out” of paradise ( Eden). And what does a creation myth do, but shape the culture it informs. “Myth and reality become one” says Rachel Pollack.

Voltaire said “ Paradise is where I am”. Paradise and presence are related, for it is when I am not present that I feel the barrenness of life. I asked my Spanish teacher in Mexico what “paraiso” was and she said “paradise, the missing place,….. you know,…… the place we are all looking for”. Perhaps all of our longings and desires are seeded in the ultimate longing for “paradise”. Our creation story has given us the perception that we have been “cast out of” paradise, however perhaps it’s that we no longer recognize it. To recognize is to “bring back to awareness”.

In these challenging times we are in deep need of a perceptual shift, as that is the only way real change can unfold. There are many stories of how the Natives were unable to see the ships of the early European explorers as it was beyond their perceptions (they did not know what they were looking for). One story tells of Captain Cook taking a Chief and his warriors by canoe out to his ship and that only by touching it could they see it.

Paradise is at your center
Unless you find it there
There is no way to enter.

- Angelus Silesius

Paradise is within. Our creation myth would also lead us to believe that our bodies are not the place to be looking for paradise. The body, so long cursed, objectified, controlled and dismembered by ideas that would render it’s parts separate from each other and the greater whole, is the portal to Paradise. The body is Eden, full of all the fruit, textures and diversity of life and all it’s potential.

Rumi says

Don’t look for it outside yourself
You are the source of milk
Don’t milk others

There is a milk fountain inside you
Don’t walk around with an empty bucket
You have a channel into the Ocean, and yet
You ask for water from a pond.

Many of our journeys can be seen as a loss of awareness in the body, due to accidents, traumas, eating disorders, premature sex or sex without consent, early childhood imprints of shame and guilt, birth trauma and the list goes on. At some point we ate of the fruit that turned our pure perception from being “one with it all”, to objectifying “it all”. How can we shift this perception?? By allowing ourselves to “touch” (remember the natives) that which is in an “enclosed space”. The body is the portal to Paradise.

By bringing the sweet light of our awareness into sensation and into the place in which phenomenal existence happens, we enter the cosmic dance of creation itself. Our bodies are over 70% water and just as with water, our consciousness can be solid, liquid, gaseous or even frozen. By perceiving ourselves in a new way we touch the invisible “enclosed space” and discover and recognize our true nature – paradise. Shifting our perception from the body as object, to entering the body with our awareness as an inquiry into the process of intelligence unfolding, we return to the cosmic soup of our origins. As many of you know I have been studying the exploration of Continuum for many years and feel incredibly blessed to be sharing a “body of work” that has amazing potential for this perceptual shift of which I speak...

...May we recognize Paradise in the sweet humus of our bodies and dance in the cosmic dance of creation unfolding, right here on this beautiful green planet, microcosm and macrocosm, one world, one living body of creation – Paradise Found."

From the website


I am continuing on with the subject matter of yesterday. Of considerable importance is the subject of circumcision as it relates to traumatizing male infants at birth. I have written of this matter before, but suffice to say it relates to using pain to short circuit the helpless infant's sexual/spiritual nervous system, which severely jolts the soul's consciousness. This is why it is done in the first place. Perhaps one feels this is absurd? Well how about taking some nail clippers and begin clipping away at the skin on your genitals to see what it feels like. I am sure the vast majority will not do so, as they are aware of the sensitivity. Now imagine someone doing this while you are strapped down and cutting off a vast section of highly sensitive tissue, with no say in the matter. 

Anyone who disagrees with this is living from their egos, and quite frankly is into pain and suffering; these types of individuals have their egos entrenched in sado-masochistic behaviors. Unfortunately, there are other areas of which this applies to as well in dysfunctional human behavioral patterns. One need only look around the planet to identify said behaviors. These are by products of violence towards children, as well as the use of guilt, shame, and fear, and other forms of punishment geared towards forcing children into obedience. 

Obedience is the process of forcing another into patterns of thought, behavior, and actions that eventually force children (and adults) into habitual habits of reacting and responding. It is well known that habits eventually over-ride presence and one becomes unconscious, due to being past/future ego oriented to ensure obedience to the rules. This allows children to at least get their basic needs met, and at best sometimes not all, but it still serves a psychological mechanism for surviving; sort of like dangling a carrot from a stick in front of a donkey.

Organized religion has done a great dis-service in distracting humanity away from consciousness, the sort of consciousness that many enlightened masters (Male & Female), as well as countless mystics, seers, and others who were in touch with the divine. It is not enough to live in intellect alone, for there is no access to the inner realms where light originates from. Eternal souls have differing levels of consciousness, which is always in a state of ongoing process do to the influx of karma; meaning one's choices during each lifetime that enmesh one into the material planes.

A soul incarnates into a body, and those bodies happen to be infants, that must go through a transformational process in order to fully embody the fullness of the light. As I have stated before, light is energy. The infant is not helpless as we have been led to believe. The infant is fully present unless of course, there is significant insanity in its environment. And let's be clear about this, the majority of those on this planet are insane, mostly unconscious and ego driven. An infant who is conscious begins unfolding at birth, with the first step to clear its breathing passage.

When you hear an infant crying at birth, they are literally sobbing, for the experience is overwhelming to them. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed coming to this planet. From day one, they are orienting themselves to their caretakers, communicating through vocal and facial expressions; it is all they have to work with. There is also an intuitive connection as well, which one could also call telepathic. Infants are also energetically connected to the mother's energy field, for the purpose of discharging the incredible energy they have flowing through them.

From day one they are beginning the learning process of understanding the particular language being spoken. They are also beginning the long process of familiarizing themselves with the material realm, understanding what objects are, etc. While all this is going on, they are also in a process of learning how to operate their bodies. Learning to move the body and all its subsequent muscles is a challenging process; just ask someone who is recovering from a debilitating accident. if you have had the opportunity to do Feldenkrais body movement, then you can begin to understand what the infant is beginning to learn.

The soul is present to the extent of the consciousness of the parents. How long the child stays present is indicative of the level of insanity they are exposed to at home, church, and school, and their community. I managed till about 8 yrs old. I have met children who were at that crucial level of shutting down. This is obvious for those who are conscious enough to see the signs. Most go unconscious after what mainstream calls, "The Terrible Two's." The reason this is called this is because the child has a consciousness of its own and is wanting its own sovereignty to unfold into what the soul came to do.

If anyone thinks the soul just comes here to live like the insane masses, then guess again, it is no where near the truth. Living the way we do is not in alignment with Divine standards of joy, bliss, ecstasy, and peace. What we have accepted as spiritual truths is mostly garbage, for it does nothing to inspire and ignite the inner fire of truth and integrity essential for unfolding into the divine beings we all are. While there is much to be said about why this has not occurred, my purpose is to discuss what we can all do to awaken out of the insanity we live in. Suffice it say that there are significant forces at play that expend considerable effort at ensuring infants do not unfold into their divine state of Being.



12.22.08 -


Sunday's headlines in the Bellingham Herald stated, "Season Of Uncertainty." This is the lesson that keeps trying to arise to get our attention, and instead of listening to the answer that needs hearing, we struggle more to maintain control over uncertainty. The fact of matter is that matter and life are constantly changing, transforming before our eyes. But, humans basic craving is to avoid pain and suffering. In the process of trying to stop change in order to minimize pain and suffering, humans create infinitely greater pain and suffering. In order to grow, one must change, one must let go of where one is and what one has in order to receive the essential essence of transforms from the old into the new. Imagine how much time, money, and effort is wasted in stopping change in order to maintain the "Establishment," the established way of conforming to the safety and security of the known. While there is a place for the known, the future cannot arrive in its fullness with humans controlling outcomes that satisfy egoic fear based needs; fear of not getting what one wants, fear of being hurt, fear of not being good enough, and fear of abandonment.


Ironically, all four of these fears are created from the very need for egoic control. There is no way around this truth, yet the many continue unabated in rationalizing the need to control, dominate, intimidate the many into submission to the one way of the Establishment. The very spiritual essence of life, the joy, ecstasy, bliss, and peace of mind are not possible from living the Established ways. Humans have become robots stifling their joy, bliss, ecstasy, and peace of mind in this process. The other is looked upon with disdain, distrust, anxiety, fear, and hate as if they were the enemy. And yet the real enemy is within each person's mind, arising within their psyches within the darkness. Darkness arises when the heart is not there to radiate the warmth of light on the folly of the egoic mind.


Darkness arises when we begin our journey towards self-hatred, when as children we are punished in one form or another for Being Love, Light, and Luminescent. When one begins to limit or judge or stifle or resist what one is in Being, then one has begun the creative process of dimming the light of consciousness within. If one understands the incredible power we each have as creator Beings, then one can begin to understand the immense power we wield against our one self. If one looks at how a dam holds back a great deal of water, then one begins to understand what we do to ourselves. This process is about controlling the flow of creative light/consciousness so that we can accept the crumbs from the rest of humanity that we are surrounded by.


One might think this absurd, and yet if you were to but put yourself in the shoes of the little ones, you would begin to see the light. Take who you are today as a grown adult and take the consciousness you have at present and recall moments during your growing up years. Imagine knowing what you know now, feeling what you are capable of feeling now, and re-live those memories. Being picked on as a child is the same thing as being picked on as an adult. Having someone beat you up as a child is the same thing as being beaten as an adult. There is no difference. We have been conned into believing that childhood is different from adulthood. I see no difference, in fact it is worse than one imagines, and that is my point. Collectively humanity is in denial about their childhood years. We have been conditioned to the point where we know not what we do in our own dysfunction/insanity.




12.26.08 -


I can assure you that in waking up one must lose the dysfunctionally insane context of a reality based on thinking alone. Deepak Chopra and others state we have around 50,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day, of which the vast majority are oblivious too. In my own inner and outer observations of others, I would put the numbers a lot higher, given the intensity of thoughts required to drown out and distract the spiritual communication channel that exists within. Think of this channel as a transceiver unit, where two-way communication can occur; and I can assure you it does. Adult humans have had their consciousness altered so greatly with programming, that they are unable to realize that most of the thinking that goes on in their minds is not there's at all. What they are listening to or aware of as "their thoughts," is the systemic programming that they have been bombarded with as they grew up and continue to get bombarded with via media of various types, whether that be electronic or print. This programming is everywhere one goes in the world based on the structures in place as well as advertising and the varied types of communication dynamics interacting with others, either in general or in settings such as retail, education, religion, government, and all the varied types of mainstream healing modalities, all of which dictate the norms of what reality is.


I'd like to share an excerpt from "Beyond The Mind," by Bernard de Montreal:


"The mind is not a human convenience but a psychic territory which the ego experiences through endless attitudes of which it is more or less aware. As it moves beyond self-indulged ignorance, the psyche will tune in to higher mind levels. This will determine its capacity and right to know, as it gradually draws away from the collective ignorance, a measure of its involutionary consciousness grafted to race memory. Evolution cannot take place through the collective process. Individual identity must eventually be regained. The astral world locks the self in a collective evolutionary cycle from which he must escape in order to gravitate towards individuality where the mind is free to explore the many mansions of reality. In this process the self will be strengthened as he begins to move away from the astral perimeter of his consciousness."




"The human intellect is extremely naive, proud, pseudo-intelligent, and marrow-minded, regardless of its apparent sophistication. It has historically interfered with the full development of conscious thought. As evolutionary ideas seep through the modern and post-modern mind, open contact with other mind levels will rivet human consciousness and create, at first, great trauma, a necessary step towards establishing a new order in the science of the mind. Time is on the side of evolution once the alphabet of consciousness has been learned."


Closed minds do not seek out new information, rather they regurgitate the repetitive thoughts that have formed the reality that their ego has superimposed over authentic Being. Imagine suddenly being whisked into a place where everyone one around is ten feet tall. Even though you have your own thoughts and awareness, they begin to dominate you, forcing you to talk the way they do, think the way they do, act the way you do. If you do not obey you are punished in one form or another until you conform. You might think you can hold out, but as the years go by of being forced to conform, you begin to do things repetitively in order to get your basic needs met. The very act of doing becomes habitual, since it is what the reptilian portion of the triune brain system does. If one cannot be free to act accordingly to what arises from within their own consciousness of authentic Being, then one sets into motion dynamics that cause consciousness to lower. 




12.27.09 -


David B. Chamberlain:


Suzanne Arm website:




12.28.08 -


I ran across this interesting post by the editor of New Scientist, while researching consciousness:



Editor-in-Chief, New Scientist

Strangely, I believe that cockroaches are conscious. That is probably an unappealing thought to anyone who switches on a kitchen light in the middle of the night and finds a family of roaches running for cover. But it's really shorthand for saying that I believe that many quite simple animals are conscious, including more attractive beasts like bees and butterflies.

I can't prove that they are, but I think in principle it will be provable one day and there's a lot to be gained about thinking about the worlds of these relatively simple creatures, both intellectually—and even poetically. I don't mean that they are conscious in even remotely the same way as humans are; if that we were true the world would be a boring place. Rather the world is full of many overlapping alien consciousnesses.

Why do I think they might be multiple forms of conscious out there? Before becoming a journalist I spent 10 years and a couple of post-doctoral fellowships getting inside the sensory worlds of a variety of insects, including bees and cockroaches. I was inspired by A Picture Book of Invisible Worlds, a slim out-of-print volume by Jakob von Uexkull (1864-1944).

The same book had also inspired Niko Tinbergen and Konrad Lorenz, the Nobel Prize winners who founded the field of ethology (animal behaviour). Von Uexkull studied the phenomenal world of animals, what he called their "umwelt", the worlds around animals as they themselves perceive them. Everything that an animals senses means something to it, for it has evolved to fit and create its world. Study of animals and their sensory worlds have now morphed into the field of sensory ecology, or on a wilder path, the newer science of biosemiotics.

I studied time studying how honey bees could find their way around my laboratory room (they had learnt to fly in through a small opening in the window) and find a hidden source of sugar. Bees could learn all about the pattern of key features in the room and would show they were confused if objects were moved around when they were out of the room. They were also easily distracted by certain kinds of patterns, particularly ones with lots of points and lines that had very abstract similarities to the patterns on flowers, as well as by floral scents, and by sudden movements that signalled danger. In contrast, when they were busy gorging on the sugar almost nothing could distract them, making it possible for myself to paint a little number on their backs so I distinguish individual bees.

To make sense of this ever changing behaviour, with its shifting focus of attention, I always found it simplest to figure out what was happening by imagining the sensory world of the bee, with its eye extraordinarily sensitive to flicker and colours we can't see, as a "visual screen" in the same way I can sit back and "see" my own visual screen of everything happening around me, with sights and sounds coming in and out of prominence. The objects in the bees world have significances or "meaning" quite different from our own, which is why its attention is drawn to things we would barely perceive.

That's what I mean by consciousness—the feeling of "seeing" the world and its associations. For the bee, it is the feeling of being a bee. I don't mean that a bee is self-conscious or spends time thinking about itself. But of course the problem of why the bee has its own "feeling" is the same incomprehensible "hard problem" of why the activity of our nervous system gives rise to our own "feelings".

But at least the bee's world is very visual and capable of being imagined. Some creatures live in sensory worlds that are much harder to access. Spiders that hunt at night live in a world dominated by the detection of faint vibration and of the tiniest flows of air that allow them to see fly passing by in pitch darkness. Sensory hairs that cover their body give them a sensitivity to touch far more finely grained than we can possibly feel through our own skin.

To think this way about simple creatures is not to fall into the anthropomorphic fallacy. Bees and spiders live in their own world in which I don't see human-like motives. Rather it is a kind of panpsychism, which I am quite happy to sign up to, at least until we know a lot more about the origin of consciousness. That may take me out of the company of quite a few scientists who would prefer to believe that a bee with a brain of only a million neurones must surely be a collection of instinctive reactions with some simple switching mechanism between then, rather have some central representation of what is going on that might be called consciousness. But it leaves me in the company of poets who wonder at the world of even lowly creatures.

"In this falling rain,

where are you off to


wrote the haiku poet Issa.

And as for the cockroaches, they are a little more human than the spiders. Like the owners of the New York apartments who detest them, they suffer from stress and can die from it, even without injury. They are also hierarchical and know their little territories well. When they are running for it, think twice before crushing out another world.



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