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January 2008



1.01.08 - Here we are in a new year, time continuing on, and as we become more conscious of our Being, it is becoming more and more clear on getting rid of everything that lessens Being. Now is the time to begin assessing what is important to us and what nourishes our well Being.

Here is a link to Judith's YouTube mini video courses: 


1.04.08 - Here are some more links from Emilie Conrad on video/audio. This woman is 73 and brings up a great deal of awareness that is much needed in our dysfunctional culture in regards to the body and its inherent link to the cosmos:

Also some other practitioners of Continuum and Breath Work:

Emilie brought up this interesting context of how new ideas relating to raising our awareness/consciousness can be frightening to the egoic mind. She mentioned Stravinsky creating a whole new different approach to ballet music that literally created a riot within the opera house. Imagine how just creating different music rhythms and ballet movements could actually frighten people. Here's the story With that said, this happens even to this day. Look at how religions and politics do the same sort of knee jerk reactions to traditional ways of thinking. This also occurs in education, business, and every other aspect of our civilization and existence as we currently know it within a limiting perspective.

Each of us is Being asked to  rise above the egoic notion of what we "think" we know, to be as young children in terms of allowing ourselves to be inquisitive, curious, explorative, and open to new possibilities. Nature is totally in this flow of new possibilities. You don't see arguments occurring over what is going to work or not. You don't see one aspect of Nature withholding information from the others. It is all connected into the Oneness of which we also participate in, in and ongoing dance of "co-operation." We would do well to look at how we have been taught to co-operate from a limited perspective based on one or more areas of our beliefs, which creates our paradigm. Thomas Kuhn defines a paradigm as: “an entire constellation of beliefs, values and techniques, and so on, shared by the members of a given community.” 

This collection of beliefs, values, and techniques create a paradigm and paradigms are closed systems, which in general shut out any competing information that would challenge the paradigm. The ego would be similar to this, in fact it is what creates the systemic problem of resistance against change. In some ways this has value in order to prevent us from psychological overload. We are in this mess in the first place due to resist to what is and from forces that have created dysfunction for their own purpose. With that said, perhaps you can better understand what it is that the Continuum Movement and other body, mind, soul, spirit work are striving to assist us in birthing.

As Beings, we are truly here to let go of the resistance (fear), we have been taught to embody that has shut down our higher consciousness states that were available to us in our early years. If we take an honest look at what drives us, what we are feeling, then we can better understand that where we have been coming from, living from, has been of a great limitations of our full potential to be. Look at the very young. They do not complain, they are very much alive, present, aware, understanding, much more able to show/live compassion in ways that we adults in general are crippled from expressing.

The resistance to avoid looking at these deeper perspectives is nothing more than ego busy trying to distract one to do other easier things like avoiding the truth, through a systematic process of getting one to focus on short term gratifications that are endless in their capacity to distract. If one wants to Be free of pain and suffering, then one has to take the effort to train the ego by realizing that they have the power to not react to the impulses of thoughts by ego to distract one in the first place. That is the only power ego has, which is to distract. Ego does not force one to follow its dysfunctional impulses. We have been allowing our focus of attention, our intention, to go where it is suggesting. Any idea that this is not so is purely egoic in source. When one begins to realize that they have been unconsciously been led around like a donkey with a stick dangling over its head, with an apple at the end of it, as a metaphor for dysfunctional thoughts, one then begins to rethink other possibilities consciously by BEING present in the NOW.

This is the true power we have as Beings, to be able to consciously disentangle ourselves from the web of illusion surrounding this dysfunctional dance we are all engaged in. When you begin to stay present, one begins to realize how the illusion has been unfolding all along. As children we were not allowed to deviate from the dysfunctional cultural norms and so we had to follow the rules, had to follow the egoic impulses, whether we liked it or not. Eventually these conscious actions on our part began to cause us pain and suffering due to going against our own innate knowing. In order to facilitate obeying the rules and at the same time avoiding the pain and suffering, a split occurred so that the pain and suffering part submerged into our subconscious.

We didn't do this consciously, the higher Being created this so that we just fell asleep so to speak; cultural amnesia would be a good term to describe this phenomenon. At the same time, the lower self that is asleep re-enforces these cultural rules in order to remain unconsciousness at all costs. If we had to live our entire early years and teen years conscious of the insanity in our world, we would not have survived long. These are psychological buffers created to protect us from the insanity. When we get older and are out on our own, the process of reclaiming our wholeness begins. This occurs via projection, where we act out the dysfunctional cultural beliefs towards others, who are also reflecting their dysfunctional cultural beliefs. This reflection is what projection is all about. This is how each of us becomes conscious, how we awaken and integrate the split; insanity/schizophrenia.

There is no way one can avoid reflection/projection because it is inherent in unconsciousness. When one has split, those hidden aspects naturally begin to arise through interactions with others. There is a quote that touches on this, "Children came to be reflected, instead they got corrected." As children are natural spontaneous Being just radiated its essence out into the world. This included moving, singing, dancing, expressing, exploring, sharing, cuddling, and anything else that spontaneously desired to arise without intending to harm others. At first this is allowed due to the irrational thinking of adults, who think of it as a stage to eventually be outgrown. What causes this stage of authentic Being to be corrected is the reflections of true Being threatening adult egos.

Children are the closest source to showing/teaching us what the adult world has lost. And from an ego perspective is a threat to the forces that dominate egoic thought that imprisons humanity in lower levels of consciousness. This is why abuse is rampant surrounding children and why it is still a systemic problem. This is why so many adults are living in this insanity because they truly are brain washed to "think" it is sane. This is what conditioning does to one's lower mind. When a young person has no place to go, cannot support themselves, and is dependent on adults, then the only choice is to rebel or to submit. In essence we go through life holding our breath, which stops us from experiencing now and all the potential new experiences that would allow us to continue the process of transformation that all of us have ingrained in our Being. 

I use the idea of breath as a metaphor, but is through breath that we connect with spirit. Not the normal breath we are accustomed too, but the deeper full breathing where the whole torso is free and limber to breathe uninhibited. This is why breath work can be so freeing. This is not easy work as long as one is not aware of the egoic reactions that can and do interfere with the Being trying to break through the resistance of ego to express its authentic nature beyond the false self of cultural indoctrination. If this word is bothersome, then I would suggest taking the time to look at our culture, specifically those in government and corporations (really one in the same) continue to do very little in regards to the pain and suffering in the world.  Begin to ask yourself why they continue to not care, to take away rights, to take away opportunities, to engage in violence, to train others how to be violent, continuing to distort the truth and to keep secrets. How can they continue to do these things and then profess to care, or profess to be loving?

One cannot care/love and then perpetuate crimes against their brothers and sisters. One cannot be loving and turn a blind eye. One cannot love and lie or love and steal or love and support violence. This is just not possible. So, the only way it can be possible is to wake up to the fact that their words do not match their actions. We are taught that what one says is more important or other wise we would not have so many people supporting the current state of insanity. This is what occurs when we are forced to submit to the rules of insanity. We have to "believe" that the rules are just and true, when in fact they are not at all. This idea we have in our constitution about justice has been enacted in support of cultural norms.

We can see how this idea of justice has enacted throughout history. Perhaps history can be rewritten, but the facts are right there in the world if one is willing to see, hear, and feel. Our true history is felt as we walk amongst our sisters and brothers of humanity. We avoid eye contact, we judge, we discriminate, we hate, we avoid, we shame, we guilt others, we hit, we kill for a zillion different reasons. Our political/religious structures are power bases for those who decide what the rules of engagement will be. This power structure is based on material goods, on external aspects, which have nothing to do with authentic self. If we were all to be in touch with authentic self, the charade of insanity would be healed rather quickly, as the truth spread like wild fire. One can then understand why the leaders and media give little attention to information that would empower people to Be authentic.

Has anyone given thought as to why those in government work in luxury, get paid a great deal of money, have the best medical/dental plans money can buy, and a host of other perks, while those at the bottom have little. I would like to suggest that if government leaders lived like those at the bottom of the ladder, you would see significant changes in government and the world. But until they are held accountable for their insane insatiable desires for more money, more power, more control, then the world as we know it will self destruct.

I want to be clear about this issue of insanity. Insanity is self-hatred. It's opposite is self-love. Self-hate arises when we are forced to go against our authentic Being. I want to affirm again, that authentic Being does not harm others. When we are forced to go against our authentic Being, we begin a process of going unconscious. When one goes unconscious, a split occurs and with that split arises self hatred. There would be no need to self-hate if we self-loved. Ponder on this deeply. Any resistance to who you are as an authentic Being is self-hatred. Any kind of judgments towards aspects of what arises within authentic Being is self-hatred. Just a little bit of self-hatred moves one into insanity. Until you purge the self-hatred, begin to become conscious of authentic Being, and learn to self-love all aspects of your Being, then you have one foot in insanity.

Paul Williams states in his book "Das Energi":

"You must choose:

Do you  wish to see (perceive) nothing, or do you want to

      see things as they really are?

It is not hard to see things as they really are, it is simply

      a matter of tearing down walls, riddling oneself of defenses

      and presumption, rendering oneself vulnerable, an idiot, a fool.

But is not easy to see things as they really are, because it

      is painful, it is real, it requires response, it's an incredible commitment.

To go nine-tenths of the way is to suffer at every moment 

      utter madness.

To go all the way is to become sane."



I first read this book back in 1991 and thought it was a great book. I thought I understood most of it. As I continued to read it over the years, it began to sink in to deeper levels of understanding as my awareness began to arise out of my culturally induced dysfunction. The more work I did no waking up, the more sense it made to me. After my near death experiences in 1999 and 2000 his words began to take on an even deeper understanding. Today as I read this it is rather sobering as I understand this from a place of waking up out of the insanity completely. One cannot hold onto a tiny bit of this dysfunction, for it will taint your consciousness absolutely. It is similar to how viruses work on your computer. 


One virus, one Trojan can get into the operating system and create havoc. So one can see how anti-virus, anti-spam, anti-phishing, and firewall software are metaphors of similar techniques used to take back our authentic Being, our operating system, so that we can begin the work to recall our login password to re-connect to the spiritual network we all have within our authentic Being. This is why it is important to pay attention, to be still, to do healing work on the body, mind, and soul. This connection is not going to come at the hands of ego. Intellect does not have the capacity to login. Intellect cannot enter the Kingdom, cannot enter the realm of Spirit. Entering is a non-linear context, it is a right brain process, but more specifically, it requires a both left and right hemispheres to be in sync.


One has to understand it is not the physical brain itself that does this. The brain is nothing more than an organic device that channels universal thoughts/information, much like wiring throughout the body. It is like a transceiver. We have the ability to receive and transmit. Nature is this way and is what instincts truly touch upon. Each of us has access to the Universe for information, guidance, and other spiritual aspects. You do not need another person to tell you what truth is. As a finely tuned Being, you know truth, sense everything you need to know to navigate this world from a place of authentic Being. This is what true power is. True power is not power over others, but self-empowerment. True power is about tapping into the greater Being you are and expressing that Being. What you know to be who you are at the moment is but a small aspect of what you really are.


You are not a who, but a what. Who you have been has been a compilation of cultural rules on conformity. It is why so many identify with status, orientation, money, religion, political, job, or other external identity tags. True power recognizes its own sovereignty, which is about self-love and self-respect. This is the only sovereignty that exists because true sovereignty only exists when one has self-love and self-respect. From this perspective and state of Being, one then loves all others and respects all others and allows them to Be in their own sovereignty. True enlightenment or Being Awakened (to be awake) (to be sane) (to have self-love/self-respect) as a society is nothing more than everyone respecting and loving all as they would themselves.


There is this idea that we are here so that God can know itself. Each of us is an aspect of the Divine; and I want to say emphatically that GOD is not a male or female in its totality. However, each of us is an aspect, a divine spark of GOD. So, it is each of us who has to awaken to our GODHOOD; And that Godhood is nothing more than being logged into the spiritual network via our Being. The sort of God that religion preaches about is a God based on human qualities, based on the insane version of humans. No sane person would by into the ideas that religion presents to their followers. Anyone with any Being would expect each person to know for themselves what true spirit is. Any Being would allow anyone to choose for themselves to make sense of their Being, the world, and all that arises between the two.


Our current leaders are not interested in you thinking for yourself. They have a vested interest in your being stuck in ego mindsets, in believing in shame, guilt, and fear. insanity needs these aspects of unconsciousness in order to imprison Being from outer expression. In order for another to control one or more others, they have to convince you to agree with their beliefs. If you don't, then the next step is to force you to conform. True spiritual awareness doesn't require needing others in that way. Why? Because the only things of any value whatsoever is self-love and self-respect. Without them you have nothing; are nothing.


Shame and guilt need to be understood from the standpoint of living within insanity. Shame is the idea that there is something wrong with your Being. In our dysfunctional society, one's Being is shamed in order to facilitate the enforcement of cultural rules. As a child, there is something wrong with you, hence the need to correct your Being into lesser being. In this sense GOD becomes god. We have an entire world of shame based human beings who have had their will broken, their connection to spirit broken. Guilt is the idea that one should feel guilty for Being, and this process of one person giving another a guilt trip is another tool used to enforce cultural rules and conformity. Shame and guilt are inclusive with fear. All three are not separate, for they operate in such a way as to create seeds of doubt, which then cause one to not trust in their Being.


This is important because each child then begins to feel like they have to avoid aspects of their being in order to get their needs met. The child begins to alienate itself from their spiritual connection as more and more corrections occur. Eventually this alienation shuts off awareness or focuses attention away from the non-linear to exclusive linear thinking alone. This is what Tolle discusses in regards to moving out of the present and living for the most part in the past and future. The only way one can be present all the time is to be connected in body, mind, spirit; linear and non-linear processing.


It is important to understand that in order for unconsciousness to exist, one has to convince others, enforce others, intimidate others into disconnecting from the body, mind, and spirit. Those who profess to be religious are mostly intellectualizing spirit. Their egos have convinced them they know and you can use discernment to see this in others. Again, it is not words we pay attention to, it is the actions of those who profess to know spirit. If fear, guilt, shame, anger, hatred, judgment, ostracizing, punishment, imprisonment, prejudice or denying others the right to Be is present, then be assured that Ego is dominating their actions. Again, those coming from self-love and self-respect have no need for these egoic manipulations.


There is much more to this egoic element, but for now it is important to understand that underlying its reactions is fear. Ego was created to basically hate Being. All of its endeavors are a product derived from the split and are geared towards ensuring one's survival. In essence, waking up requires that we realize this and begin the journey back to self-love and self-respect. We do this by Being present, so as to become acquainted with the now again. If one pays enough attention in silence, one will notice that most of the thoughts dominate past events or possible future events, none of which exist. These perspectives exist to ensure we follow the past memories of conformity to cultural beliefs. So instead of just Being present enjoying the unfoldment of consciousness, we are constantly in state of alert scanning for any possible deviation from the norms or attacks on our false personality self that was created to fit in. While this scanning is occurring, all data is being run against past memories looking for possible conflicts, running any number of potential outcomes; sort of like the military commands that are always scrutinizing possible threat scenarios and preparing for them.


This is how most human beings spend their days. Being unconscious requires an incredible amount of energy to suppress the Divine. It is exhausting work to say the least and one has to realize all dis-ease arises from this suppression of Being. I would like to recommend reading about Louise Hay and her books, tapes, and workshops. I have used her book, "Heal Your Body," since the mid-90-'s to assist myself in understanding what is going on with my body. The book focuses on the mental causes for physical illness and the metaphysical way to overcome them. There are many well known people in the self-help movement that support this perspective.


One must begin to understand that the insane way our world has been operating under has come directly from political and religious powers undermining the Power of Now, the Power of Being. This process of stifling higher consciousness at all costs has been going on for thousands of years. They would have you believe the problem is those who don't support religion and politics. They would have you believe that their way is the only way. But wait, if it is the only true way, then why is there so much pain and suffering? Look around you; get present; settle into your feelings. Do not think about the problem, because that is the problem. Thinking is like a continually playing tape of all the cultural rules. It is like sitting in front of your TV set 24/7 thinking all you need to know is coming from it.


One thing about TV is that most of it is fantasy, a very specific sort of ideology geared towards dumbing you down to conformity. Advertising, media news, business, politics, sports, religion, shows and other programming are just that; programming. Truth doesn't come from television, it comes from within, and let know one tell you what truth is until you know that resonates in your heart. What we have been knowing for truth for a long time is what others have told us. And we are taught to NOT question those truths. In fact, if we were to really be aware of what has been going and is going on we would be appalled at the level of suppression of true critical thinking. True critical thinking is inner listening, includes being intuitive, and a great deal of thinking. 


If you haven't listened to Judith Orloff's videos, then please do so, for they offer some critical understanding of the functions of intuition and feelings. I would also recommend reading Doreen Virtue's book Divine Guidance as well or any other books on intuition. David Viscott has an excellent book called The Language Of Feelings that I highly recommend too. There's a lot of excellent information out there about intuition/feelings and one can do a web search to find articles as well. Waking up is your choice, your business, in your own way. 


Trust that there is an inner guidance to lead you to people, places, and things that will assist you in putting together the pieces that will re-integrate your Being. In my own life, I can look back to various people who gave me information, recommended books, and mentioned ideas to me. I can see where many of the thousands of books I read, both non-fiction, fiction, and sci-fi, as well as academic oriented books offered opportunities to integrate knowledge with experiential opportunities to become more aware. It was through the synchronicity/coincidence that led me to learn about body work, breath work, body movement, and other modalities of healing, such as alternative medicine in my own awakening process. And for the record, awakening is nothing more than seeing the world with an open heart and mind.


In this open mind/heart perspective one begins another level of awareness of unfolding into higher levels of consciousness. One becomes more conscious of choices in regards to all areas of their life. The Universe is infinite and as such, there is never an end to the possibilities that exist. With this realization, it becomes evident that there is little need for feeling less than or greater than others. One either is in a state of hatred or love. In love, one would want to learn, grow, understand, make sense of, explore, be curious, and enjoy this unfolding process. Children have this down pat, of being curious and inquisitive, of asking questions and Being open to the wonder and magic of Being with all it has created and will create.


One would desire to assist others, be of service to the greater whole, and desire to radiate love and compassion towards all Beings. One would take the initiative to ensure that everyone has decent food, clothing, shelter, education, medical/dental care, warmth, support, nurturing, caring communities, meaningful work, and unconditional love. One would realize the need for solitude, silence, and clarity to nurture the inner connection so as to deepen this connection for the unfoldment of bringing in more light, harmony, balance, and alignment with higher spiritual values and goals. What those values and goals are different for each person and yet similar in that they resonate with the higher frequencies of heart, love, and compassion.


I have had opportunities to tap into these at times. I was not looking for them when they appeared. One is ready to the point of being willing to let go of assumptions, let go of needing to control, and being willing to be humbled. Often, when these situations got difficult, it was due to egoic influences being frightened as it encountered something vastly greater than it could intellectualize, because the Divine is enormous, and even all the best words to describe it fail in the end. They simply cannot describe the actual experience. I can recall having experiences back when I was in my twenties still living at home. These continued over time in normal waking time, dream time, shamanic work and with the use of spiritual tools. All of the experiences offered the same perspectives, depth, guidance, and challenges.


I can say without question or doubt that I no longer have a vested interest in the old ways that I was indoctrinated with. While attending Fairhaven College, I had some rude awakenings to the many who worship intellect within the academic world and in many ways they are as ruthless as any religious or political organization bent on intellectual prowess; meaning power over others. That is not to say that I didn't have my own issues, because I did, and having been indoctrinated from birth, who wouldn't. After graduating, I began a long hard road to becoming aware of the finer points of spirituality being taught. I attended Naropa University's Oakland Campus, where I had the opportunity to attend Matthew Fox's Creation Spirituality program.


To say that I was gullible and naive is an understatement. For the program was mostly intellectual in nature and superficial at best. Using people and their ideas is something that I cannot condone. The inner politics of that place were a great eye opener to me, as were the personalities of many of the teachers in attendance. Our group of 30+ students wound up calling into question a great many things in the program. Instead of opening up a true dialogue and embrace transformation, the administrators booted out certain individuals and disallowed any meaningful dialogue. It is one thing to have dialogue and another to intend doing nothing about it. In the end, after trying repeatedly to fit my thesis into their box, I chose to quit the program. 


It took awhile to understand that many of the administrators and faculty were pastors, priests or nuns, so how could their be true open dialogue beyond a Christian based paradigm. Yes, there were others with backgrounds in Sufism, Hinduism, Native American, and others, but it was always through the filters of Christianity, a borrowing of other traditions to expand Christianity. What was needed was getting rid of the past templates. What was needed was letting go of the egoic need to intellectualize. What was needed was a vast undertaking of ridding one of arrogance, ignorance, dysfunction, and the cravings for power/greed.


As human beings we are relegated the response ability to embrace our deeper roots in the divine. it is ironic that we do this for the most part from intellect alone, and often pretend we are doing the deeper experiential work. While attending Naropa, I was going through a Kundalini opening and in that process one can often feel like they are losing their mind. And in many ways one is; the ego mind, for any fear based reactions are only ego beginning its dying to make room for the true Being. I approached quite a few faculty members, only to be looked at like I was nuts. In hindsight, I can see their own egos were uncomfortable because I was going beyond their own egoic comfort zones.


I can say that what has transpired from this mystical path has been an awakening to the incredible fathoms of spirit. And by incredible, I don't mean like a vacation, because it has not been a vacation, nor a leisurely tour, or a weekend warrior sort of voyage. What occurs is finding bit by bit your courage to continue to seek and look, knowing that there is more to be revealed, as it gets more challenging and difficult to continue on. The idea of this can be seen in churches, synagogues, and temples across this planet, who sit in quiet desperation pretending to have faith of the unseen that they only fathom in timid egoic thoughts geared towards shrinking down the Divine Abyss of Joy, Ecstasy, and Bliss into consumable bits of information to intellectualize and fantasize about.


The direct experience terrorizes them because ego is reacting to anything that would challenge its domain of intellectual superiority. Hence why so many who profess to be spiritual continue to purge the world with violence, greed, and control that knows no bounds nor truly cares about the masses. This is what insanity does. The great distraction that professes that mere money, goods, sex, and privilege is all that is needed to be content and happy. But, this is not true, because the world has been doing this for thousands of years and it is still not enough. It is an endless consuming of self-loathing, that is like a black hole sucking in anything in a vain attempt to fill the void. But, the void cannot be filled from without. It can only be filled from within.


In essence, what is needing to occur, is a letting go, a falling into the wonder-filled essence that waits patiently within. the sense of peace that comes with this letting go is so awing, so fulfilling, that realizations begin to dawn on you how insignificant the current world is with all its glitter, pomp, and so forth. When you begin to realize how badly damaged everyone is, how unhappy, how empty, how fearful the many live, you begin to understand a little bit of what love and compassion is about. This past summer I was in a lucid dream where I recalled forgotten memories. What I remembered was a big part of why I came to this planet. After it surfaced, I lay there sobbing and after a half hour or so another opening occurred where I recalled where I came from. The level of compassion I experienced was so profound that I just started to sob even more. 


There are no words to describe this. My response was a great sorrow, a great pain to bear in regards to how far removed we are on this planet to experience what our birth right is. Our birth right is not what we go about telling people we are. It is not the icons or symbols or any other external thing. Our birth right, our only true treasure and gift to give is our unconditional love and compassion. And I would remiss if I have been forth right in my own meager attempts at shining my own light. The hardest thing we have to do is Be true to the light, to embrace it as if it were who we are because in fact it is who and what we are. All the pain and suffering arises from ignoring this One truth of the Light.


Light cannot be extinguished; ever. It is non-extinguishable, sort of like those silly birthday candles that can't be blown out. Yes, light can be denied entry into the material world and that has been going on for far too long.  The Catholic Church, along with other religions, made it their mission to extinguish the Light in millions upon millions of human beings. Empires have been carved out of other peoples hides and lands, with purpose of ensuring darkness reigned. We can see the effects of this mission by all those who are quite well off, who do nothing, but continue on unabated in destroying any attempt of the Light to surface. One could picture this as a bunch of mad fools running around trying to stomp out any fires that begin to appear around the world. This in essence is what history reveals, the systematic destruction of any culture that was rooted in Light.


I am appalled at those in high places who still continue to turn away from the Light, with the mission of taking and hording as much as they can. In some ways, those who have the most are the most insane, the most lost, who are so possessed by darkness, that their inner Being has no chance to shine. It must be said that all who are intent with egoic notions are possessed with darkness. There is no one home so to speak in terms of Light, for it is suppressed by self hate. The true power to eradicate this darkness arises from the individual acts of self-love and self-respect first and foremost. Then when one is anchored in this enough, then to radiate this out into the world around us. There are those who will not like your shining, who will make it difficult for you, who will verbally assault you, or ignore you. Let them, but don't make it your business what they think of you.


Don't confuse what I am saying here with what Christians and others are obsessed with doing, of going around proselytizing the "good word." There is nothing one need do but love the other. This is most evident in Peter Russell's prose:



Love is not something you do,

It is not how you behave.

There's nothing you can do that constitutes loving another,

No action that is of itself loving.

Love is a way of being.

And more than that.

It is simply being,

Being with another person, however they may be.

Holding no judgments, having no agendas,

No need to have them experience your love,

No desire to demonstrate love,

No intrusion upon their soul.

Nothing but a total acceptance of their being,

Born of your total acceptance of yours.


This is not an idea, it is not something you think about or do. Compassion arises from within, is an energy that comes from self-love and self-respect. Compassion is the ability to know your self, to understand your pain and suffering, to heal it, and to merge into one's Being. This process is not intellectual. There are elements of moving through stuck emotional patterns, repressed feelings, and regaining the ability to intuit, feel, and be empathic. We do have the ability to feel others pain. I have had this occur on many occasions. These abilities arise as we learn to open up to the flow of energy and allow it flow unimpeded through our bodies. Compassion and love are energetic in nature, therefore one feels them, because feelings are energetic in nature. Compassion flows from our Being out into the world. This is the Light that we shine.

This might make more sense if you can begin to watch the children. They are already shining naturally and are doing so, so those who are asleep can experience the Light. Children are extremely forgiving, even after being horribly mistreated. What is required of us is to re-acquaint ourselves with our own Light. We arrive at this inner discovery by letting go of the ego and all of its self-hatred. It is the judgments that we have taken on and believed that created this self-hatred. Let me be clear on this. Those who go about wearing their religion on their sleeves like they are chosen or saved are most assuredly coming from self-hatred, because ego is the only thing that needs to judge and make itself better than another. There are no right organizations or groups or chosen people. Compassion and love arise from Being and is the core of the entirety of the Universe. There is nothing on this planet that is man-made that has any bearing on this compassion and love.

Light is not Republican, Democrat, Vegan, Christian, Jewish, Female, Male, Heterosexual, Homosexual, Young, Old, Black, White, Rich, Poor, or any other intellectualized scientifically recognized or culturally induced category. These are the delusions created by the many egos in the world. Behind these facades are certain categories of information that has been formed to create a particular belief in order to justify non-loving acts in the world. Compassion and love require nothing from anyone. It is something one gives from a place of self-love and self-respect. When each of us realizes that we are enough, then there is no need to take from another or a need to get. Two or more people come together in giving and each one gets without needing to take.

Do you understand this? If we focus on taking we are not giving and there in lies the rub. We are a planet of mostly people in taking mode, each egoic entity struggling in vain to manipulate the other in giving so as to get. Ego focus is on getting; Being is on giving. When one begins to grasp this, one begins the hard task of undoing all the patterns that were learned to get. I am still working on this from years of conditioning from my upbringing. I know I am not alone in this issue. Becoming aware of it is most of the struggle to overcome the blind spot in our consciousness. When you are in the throes of struggling with giving and feeling like you are not getting, it is important to realize, become aware of, the fact that it is ego creating all that inner dialogue.

If you feel depressed, lonely, angry, hateful, resentful, jealous, it is all old tapes, old patterns, same old egoic context acting out, working diligently to pull you into the charade and delusion. Understanding this will, becoming aware of this is what Tolle discusses in taking back your power. It is awareness of what ego is doing that takes away egos power and returns your power back to your Being. It is important to understand that egoic structure convinces you through distraction and illusion into identifying with its thoughts as if they arise from your Being. This is an illusion of great proportions. It is crucial to your freedom in understanding this process and to start discerning what the thoughts are vibrating; fear or love.

I mentioned this before; one feels light and the other heavy. We all know what being in a good mood and bad is like. Compare these to the thoughts. If they bring you down, know they are fear. Light opens you up and fear shuts you down. If you have a hard time with this, then take up the task of watching the world at large going on around you. Begin to experience what situations feel like. What goes on in your chest and stomach as you watch people arguing or yelling or physically fighting? What occurs when you hear a child crying or being yelled at? What occurs when you hear someone shaming or guilting another. Paying attention is being present, is noticing what your feelings are sensing. You are a highly sensitive Being capable of picking up so much information that it would stagger you what you might really be tuning into. Learn to trust yourself. Expect lots of trials and errors, for we each have to undo a great deal of conditioning and brain washing.


1.06.08 - Here's a link to the site of Miceal Ledwith, who was featured on "What The Bleep" movie awhile back and whom I watched on the recent movie called "Orbs:The Veil Is Lifting" He has some interesting articles on GOD and Jesus, which are rather interesting.

I spent some time scouring the Internet yesterday and ran across some amazing sites of Baptist ministers and others who spew out a lot of garbage. They most certainly don't practice what they preach. I am always amazed at the lack of critical thinking that goes for intelligence. I was reading Tolle's book last night and he got into talking about human intelligence:

"Until now, human intelligence, which is no more than a minute aspect of universal intelligence, has been distorted and misused by the ego. I call that "intelligence in the service of madness." Splitting the atom requires great intelligence. Using that intelligence for building and stockpiling atom bombs is insane or at best extremely unintelligent. Stupidity is relatively harmless, but intelligent stupidity is highly dangerous. This intelligent stupidity, for which one could find countless obvious examples, is threatening our survival as a species."

This intelligent stupidity is all around us, built into our culture at every level of its structure. If you haven't figured it out by now, I have no interest in the structure of organized religion, at least not how it is currently organized. There only claim to fame all these years has been to run rough shod over anyone who didn't agree with their idea of truth. They have made no real heart felt effort at undoing the damage they have wreaked upon the planet or its inhabitants. They are not interested in assisting people in thinking for themselves or showing them how to find truth. They make their business to keep people out of the dark on how to have their own inner connection to the divine, instead ensuring that the masses are dependent on religious leaders for guidance. They make alliances with individuals to ensure the masses remain obedient and docile to their desires for greed and power. In addition, they have made it their business to create and foster dysfunction which has ensured the suffocation of any higher consciousness in the masses for quite some time. Those who lead are dishonest and lacking a great deal integrity, not only at the intellectual level, but also the spiritual level. In essence, they have taken the arrogant stance to "think" they know what is best for each and every person on the planet in regards to their own individuated spiritual connection within. These religious leaders continually strive to eradicate any attempt at those who seek to BE.

The traditional mainstream political structure in the world has also been in step with these same religious leaders in general. While there are different approaches to how these two go about doing their business, they are in fact connected together in mutual self-serving ways. This may not seem so obvious, but Church and State are not separate, because every day religious people go to government and make decisions based on their ideology, which has been formed by religious pressures for a long time. Power and greed is the same, whether it be in politics or religion. Politics is in essence business and what those who have money are the ones who get to make the decisions for the masses. It has been the misfortune for many people to have been enslaved by these political/religious leaders and their ideology has caused more pain and suffering than is currently known, let alone understood.

The basic rules of conformity are created from the needs and wants of these so called leaders. At the root of the rules is what serves them best in terms of greed and power; control. If one truly understood how little power these people have, they would be startled out of their ignorance in a heart beat. The heart is the issue, for it is in this essence that we Become Being. One must understand how much effort has gone into stifling awareness in the masses. This is no mere small undertaking, for it has required pain staking efforts at squashing humanities consciousness at every step of the way until they crippled the many into obedience, through fear, shame, guilt, intimidation, manipulation, coercion, violence, killing, torturing, lying, and brain washing. It is also imperative that one understand that there is more at stake here than there accrual of money and power.

Their accrual of power comes from the energies each person gives them from living in fear or unconsciousness. Being is not interested in accruing power from others, it already has its own infinite source from within. Fear based leaders require energy from you in order to be empowered. Without your realizing it, you give your energy away to leaders from living in fear. Please read more about this at where you will find eleven insights that touch on this subject. There are two perspectives to understand here; fear takes and love gives. Fear is quite complicated in its functions. Fear usually stems from the following; fear of not being good enough, fear of not getting what you want; fear of being hurt; and fear of being abandoned. The only two fears we are born with are fear of loud noises and of heights. All the rest are culturally learned from growing up in dysfunctional insane societies.  The learned fears are ego based and are directed at suffocating consciousness.

We are at the cross roads of new structures being built as the old ones crumble. What we are witnessing is the terror of those who are violently opposed to changes in the way consciousness has been. Great violence is great fear, it is the ego acting in defense of keeping the traditions of insanity in place by structures that have been self-serving to small groups of people. The new structures are about sustaining a sane world society where all are allowed to BE in service of all humankind equally to ensure health and well-being for all peoples. The only rules are those that support honesty and integrity in body, mind, soul, and spirit. Self-respect and self-love are the two guiding principles that are to be taught, nurtured, and embodied in this new structure. These will arise to the return of sovereignty, of respecting each person's sovereign right to BE. This response-ability of sovereignty arises when we begin to love and respect who we are.

Being is self-love and self-respect. In this state of Being there is no fear, hence no need to harm others in any way. When one has self-respect they respect all other Beings. Being doesn't identify with material goods as self-identification and self-value. Being requires no external thing for validation. Validation is an egoic need arising from the illusion/delusion of not being good enough. Being is already everything. As Beings we are here to create in accordance with Universal laws of unconditional love, compassion, and the pursuit of the well-being of all. Being has no need for any structures that serve the few or create polarizations via half truths. One is either in full compliance with unconditional love or they are in compliance with conditional love based egoic actions. This is the only process necessary for deciding truth; is one's actions coming from love or fear?

Loves response to fear is love and compassion, without swaying from the truth of Being. In Being, where one has mastered staying centered in love, fear has no power whatsoever over Being. 


This religious thing is simply incredible, where individuals spend endless ours reading over and over versus and chapters within the bible looking for answers that in truth are not there. In my mind if one is needing to work on the car you go and get a Chilton's manual. If you are needing financial information, you go see a financial advisor, or for a health issue a doctor. There are many people out there who take this book literally, run their entire lives from it. To put this in another perspective, have you ever noticed that churches rarely if ever bring up dysfunction, how it got started, where its roots are, and the impact on families and society? Do you ever hear pastors, preachers, or whomever discuss the ramifications of guilt, shame, and fear?? Do they bring up topics of sexual shame? How about verbal or emotional abuse?

Another example of this intelligent stupidity arose while I was visiting my childhood home in Rochester, NY the Summer of 1999. I was aware of ecology, sustainability, and permaculture at the time. I was flabbergasted to read a story in the newspaper about how the State of New York was allowing wetlands to be filled in for homes to be built as long as the contractors created new wetlands elsewhere to compensate for the loss. The lunacy of this was not lost on me. First of all, there is no human who has complete awareness of how Nature builds wetlands. Secondly, with what we know today about wetlands, to realistically re-create a wetland would be cost prohibited. So, the idea that one is going to build a wetland is ridiculous. A sane person would leave the wetland, which took hundreds of thousands of years to create and go build on the land that doesn't have wetlands on it. But an idea like that is scorned by so called intelligent people; not only the contractors, but those who work for the state ecology department. Ironically, I wrote a letter to the state and never received a reply.

I could go on and on about this. Human beings are not present to be able to make informed choices, nor are they able to think outside the box. All they know how to do is follow the cultural software they were forced to learn as children. Every day millions upon millions of people profess that they are conscious and know what truth is. The truth they know is the one they were taught to believe in and this truth has no bearing on their heart. Because when one is conscious, one sees through the distorted lies of insanity. When Europeans invaded other indigenous peoples lands, the natives had to be dealt with because they knew the invaders were insane. So began the killing, torturing, imprisoning, enslaving, the breaking of wills, and brain washing the young, to wipe out their consciousness.

I find it rather sardonic that most of these invaders professed to be Christian. Even the church officials and clergy had their hands in this mess. Where was the love? The sort of love they were wielding had nothing to do with Being or unconditional love. The brutality that was wielded was based on individuals who were insane. Just as current governmental leaders are insane in their daily progress of undermining any country that doesn't do things their way. By the way what is common from the past and present insane leaders was the accrual of money, property, resources, and power. I find it amazing that our fellow citizens are just as insane in that they go right along with the fairy tales that are given by these insane mad leaders. Ironically, the citizens then argue amongst themselves about who is right and wrong, spending countless time, energy, and money supporting those insane leaders.

At this point, it is time to call into question what the various political and religious groups are proselytizing. It is time to begin to question the roots of their beliefs and stop believing because certain people say so. Nobody has the right to tell anyone that they must listen to them. Becoming conscious requires one to research what one is being told as truth. In doing so, you find out for yourself. The most important function each person must learn to do is to discern truth for themselves from their heart; not the ego mind, but the heart. When one is sufficiently conscious, they will know truth without needing to find an expert or leader. be wary of those who try to legalize their truth, for they are busy ensuring that the masses stay unconscious. Be wary of those leaders and groups of people who profess to know the truth and who force others to obey their truths.

It is ironic that Being requires none of this non-sense. Being doesn't require others to believe or follow or obey. Being is quite satisfied in Being, of loving unconditionally, being compassionate to others, willing to assist and support others, willing to nurture and respect others, willing to allow others to Be true to their own selves with the explicit understanding that Being does not force or harm others into obedience; insanity does this.

Be aware of those who force others to pickup the tab of their corporate crusades in the world. Be aware of those who create conflicts between people. Be aware of those who use guilt, shame, and fear to manipulate others. Being is all that is required, for when one is in this state, one is not interested in the madness, because Being is state of wholeness, of sanity. One becomes interested in creating win/win situations in the world that serve the highest good for all. Tolle talks about how our true purpose is to become conscious to use this higher awareness of bringing peace to the Earth. Being is not interested in what your political, religious, corporate, class, or other persuasions are. Being is only interested in whether you love unconditionally. Being has no need for punishment, for it is only blindness by ego that causes a human being to cause harm to another. The only right action is to assist the other in reclaiming their Being to enter into sanity, which is to say to enter back into Heaven; Sanity is Heaven, Insanity is Hell. 

The two perspectives are not external events, they are internal events. There are many who truly believe they are going to heaven, but in reality it is only an egoic notion that has blinded them from creating heaven in this moment, in this now. When one believes this sort of idea, that heaven is some future reward for good behavior, then one is essentially insane. In Being, one is already in the presence of the divine, which is always an inner connection. This divine connection to Being is not outside of us, it is not a thinking process, it is not a set of beliefs, or set of actions. There is nothing that is required of you except to let go and allow the Being within to arise from a state of being present in the now. Ironically, there are millions upon millions who profess to be present and yet their actions betray their motivating thoughts; egoic.

The same applies for those who believe they are going to hell. Ironically, it is those who believe they are going to heaven who have passed judgments on others damning them to hell. The profoundness of this is that both are living in hell due to believing in egoic non-sense that dis-allows them access to being present in the now. Each one is living in a future context. While on the outside it may seem the person going to heaven is calm and collect, it is only an illusion based on their own egoic construct imprisoning them from knowing heaven now. Ego needs to be believe its better than another, so in creating those who go to hell and those who go to heaven, there is an inflated ego of superiority over others. At some point all balloons deflate or get popped.

Your daily mantra might be, "There is no balloon." In reality there is no balloon only Being. To Be or not to Be, that is the question. It is only ego that raises the question, so if you notice this question arising within, let it go and relax back into Being; 

I've also been reading a book called, "Bi Any Other Name: bisexual people speak out." It brought up some interesting perspectives in regards to this whole religious fervor about morality. First of all, we have been living within a social construct that has been insane for a very long time. If one were to spend a bit of time looking back on our collective insane his-story, one would begin to come to realize how most of those thousands of years up to today have been lived in a constant state of fear requiring one to engage in anger, hatred, resentment, violence, killing, stealing, hording, and a host of other morbid actions on our brothers and sisters. Wars have been waged upon others for not looking the same, not acting the same, not believing the same, not thinking the same, not loving the same way as the other. Just realize the countless untold millions upon millions who have been done in by this insane thinking. It is sobering.

Go out into the streets and walk around or if you are frightened, then drive around in your car with the doors locked. Take a really good look around. Notice the fences, the guarded security gates, alarms, defensive postures and intimidating caricatures etched on your fellow human beings. People pass by each other on the sidewalks without making eye contact or greeting each other in general. When we do greet each other, rarely is it warm and authentic. This my friends is just the superficial crust of the surface. Go ride your bike or walk down through those minority neighborhoods and notice the looks you get, and then realize that you and your kind give their kind the same looks when they are in your neighborhood. Always one perspective against another, one right, one wrong.

Oddly enough, this sort of lower consciousness mentality has battered humanity into such a chaotic state of insanity that we have been dwindled down to a catatonic state of morality that is lifeless, empty of warmth, void of Being, and so anti-life that it's no wonder the world is the way it is. Collectively we have been so shut down and have had so much of our aliveness imprisoned into mental straight jackets, that we cannot get out of our own way; we have become our own prisoners, prison guards, and judges all in one shot. The term tight-assed morality is not lost on me as I assess how unloving our societies are. I have never seen so many people, spending so much time, effort, and money judging and condemning others to live in a morality that is worse than solitary confinement. At least with solitary confinement you have the opportunity to meditate.

Ironically, we think of prison as this horrible place where you get beat up, raped, murdered, intimidated, robbed, and very unsafe. It is also a mirror image of our so called free society. This goes on all the time in real life. It also goes on in our minds on a regular basis. How often do we get beat up verbally or have our creativity murdered, or our sexuality intimidated? These are interesting questions, that I ask because as I watch so called modern society rumbling along in its insanity, I also notice the amount of damage that has been done by the insane in their attempt to play the game. The insane have become so tightly wound up that they do not know how to let go. Letting go is not only physical, but also involves letting go emotionally, mentally, sexually, physiologically, energetically, creatively and finally spiritually. These are all so tightly wound up due to being taught to shut down our Being, that we literally wind up spending most of our time correcting anyone who isn't as tight-assed as we are. We have become a mass of insane individuals who spend all their moments ensuring everyone else is as miserable as we are.

There are some who would argue this point, and to be honest they have to or else their ego would have to face itself. People who spend a lot of time concerning themselves about what others do in bed and with whom have a problem. Their problem is that they are not enjoying themselves in bed nor are they content with their partners. If they were, they would be busy in bed with those people doing what two people usually do together. But, it should be also noted that most of the religious are seriously in need of letting go of their own guilt, shame, and fear surrounding sex. It should also be noted that sexuality is spirituality. The act of being sexual with another always brings up guilt, shame, and fear issues. Sex is the one thing that opens us back up to spirit if we can get past the dogmatic rules of sexual engagement.

Sex is a procreational act when living at the bottom of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, for it ensures the continuation of the species. But, we are not just animals. We are spiritual beings in human bodies. We were blessed with the ability that set us apart from animals, yet we still have one foot in the animal kingdom. We are animals none the less. Only ego would go out of its way to hide this obvious fact. Humans have a great many similar traits with animals; all of them. Intelligent stupidity has gotten humanity to be literally blind to any of the higher aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy. If you really look at each of these levels, and come to realize that we really don't exist in them when we are insane, then one has to awaken to the fact that we have been living in the lower regions for some time. Perhaps some have attained higher ones, but in general the many have not, nor have the leaders who have been leading us in insanity.

It is not possible to exist in intellect exclusively and profess to have reached those heights. No one can claim to be in Being mode and profess that sex is for procreation alone and only fit for male/female copulation. When one is aware, they can begin to notice how much time, effort, energy, and "legal" action is spent to ensure that everyone obeys the rules on what sex is. Sexuality has always been a spiritual context, not in a thinking context, but in connecting one to higher states of consciousness, which is what spirituality is. The many traditional moralists would have us believe that they are in the know of what true spirituality is. The real truth is they have made it after their own insane notions that have allowed their ego to retain a stranglehold over their own true spiritual essence in Being.

When two people come together, it is not the bodies that are the key, but the spirits within that hold the true spiritual key of connecting to the divine. Connection to the Divine source is the other half of having sex. This idea that sex is only for procreation has been done so to keep people from finding out about this divine connection. This divine connection heals the insanity, breaks through all the walls, facades, and fears. What opens up during the sexual act is higher states of energy, which open doors to higher states of consciousness. It is important to understand that how we operate sexually as human beings is in the lower chakra areas or genital areas. For the most part, when one is living in ego mode, the body is shut down to varying degrees. It is not possible to have the body open with the ego in place.

When a person begins to clear away the guilt, shame, and fear, they start beginning to make way for higher states of consciousness. As one begins healing themselves of this insanity, it begins to heal the sexuality and spirituality at the same time, for each are connected to the other. When we interact with others in an intimate way, one can quickly assess whether the other person is open or closed down by the level of intimacy they are comfortable with. There are those who don't like to kiss, don't cuddling, don't get into the touchy/feely thing, aren't interested in feelings and a host of other maladies that arise from egoic insanity. Also, the ability to let go in orgasm into a full-bodied release is also indicative of egoic insanity. This full-bodied release arises from re-connecting with the Divine via one's own body, but also via the connection with the partner's body too. Experiencing this is nothing one can imagine, because it is not an intellectual act, it is an energetic act our spiritual Beings connecting. One can have this experience by themselves via masturbation or with another partner of either sex.

Now what arises in this conflict of interest in the insane world is that this truth about sexuality and spirituality sheds light on the dark insanity of trying to maintain rigid control on effectively shutting down any possibility of Being entering into this dimension. This is why sex has been so rigidly controlled. Religion has had to create this illusion that God is a male. If you listen to the ludicrous explanation of Adam and Eve in the bible, you can begin to understand the implications and the need to distort the truth of what that passage truly meant. The issue is not about man or woman being better than the other. The issue is not about sex being bad. The issue is about consciousness, specifically higher states of consciousness. In order to deconstruct the truth, one has to create half truths.

Our true spiritual Being is not a male or female form at all. GOD is not a male for that matter either. The greater truth is that there is a father AND mother principle, a consciousness of higher intelligence. This intelligence does not need form as we know it to create. Procreation is a necessary principle required for a soul to incarnate into the material plane. Life was never meant to be fear based, nor filled with guilt, shame or the varied forms of violence. These arose from certain sources to prevent human beings from retaining their spiritual connection to the Divine Parents. These Divine Parents are nothing like the parents that we know of on this planet. They, along with other Divine beings are not interested in all this religious dogma that has kept humanity imprisoned and separated from their own inner connection.

We were born onto this particular planet to bring our particular vibration of spirit to do the work of which we are uniquely qualified to create and implement. Each of us has this embedded into our Being; our unique expression of Being is our gift to this world. Somewhere along the line, a particular situation occurred where others found a way to circumvent this inner connection. Trauma severs this link and this can occur with injuries, falls, natural disasters. By far the biggest area that is the most traumatizing is birth and the early childhood years. Ironically, it is here that the work of disconnecting the child from its inner knowing occurs. I believe this is why violence is so prevalent in this planet due to how effective it is for inducing extensive trauma.

Culture itself is nothing more than the concerted efforts of groups of people to coerce others by forcing them to conform to defined rigid behaviors, beliefs, and physical movements. All of these are interconnected by the way, because when you force one to act contrary to their inner Being at an early age, it sets up a resistance against their true self. Eventually doing something out of character is embodied, meaning it becomes defined not only in their belief, but in their behaviors and ultimately in how they hold themselves in their body. If one begins to study body movement, one realizes that in living against Being we begin to create a false self. This false self then has to be embodied, meaning we have act a certain way, carry ourselves in a particular way. The body can be seen as a template for how we are imprisoned. Body workers can see holding patterns in the body as to how we shut down our natural flow of consciousness.

This flow of consciousness can be shut down via trauma and enculturation. Fear is nothing more than the restriction of energy, which occurs at the mental level, then the emotional level, energetic level, physiological level, physical level, and eventually the spiritual level is limited. One can be psychically intuned but still be out of touch to higher spiritual levels where Being resides. When this is done consistently within a societies, then more and more people become insane. It is through sexuality that cultures are formed. How one curtails sexuality through morality, meaning to dictate what is acceptable norms of sexual expressions, then it determines how those in a particular culture express their limited spirituality.

Since we are formless as souls, this idea of penis and vagina is nothing more than a cultural construct meant to limit the full expression of spirituality. One cannot limit sexuality without it affecting spirituality, which is why religion and politics have been bedfellows in ensuring that a very limited form of sexual expression be allowed. This is why taboos are present, why sex is often so taboo in our cultures, because it is hiding the fullness of our spiritual expression. Healthy sexuality heals the body, mind, soul, and spirit. This idea that we are born into sin is nothing more than a guilt and shame trip to put you into fear, so as to lower your consciousness, to ensure you do on access true Being.

The real taboo on this planet is to not Be. The real taboo is about suppressing spirit and keeping humanity in the dark about it by erecting barriers to prevent the full expression of Being. Legal law is nothing more than an attempt to force people into limited ways of Being. Peer pressure is another one, where we all begin to police each other to enforce our own limited spirituality. The insane enforce those who are sane or those who try to wake up out of the insanity. If the legal laws and the peer pressure doesn't work, then violence comes into play next. It's no wonder there is such a fear of people expressing their authentic selves. The idea that spirituality is only for heterosexually oriented people is a lie. Prior to the late 1800's the terms heterosexual and homosexual didn't exist. Both were created, much like the egoic need to create good/bad, right/wrong.

What we have in our cultures are individuals who have taken ancient teachings, usually re-writing them to suite their own ideology of control of the masses, who then go out into the world and create another set of beliefs/dogmas based on their interpretations of the writings, conveniently overlooking the basic tenets. This same thing goes on in our current government. We have the Constitution, Bill of Rights and other documents that have been superceded by congressional law, presidential orders and judicial distortions of legal law to represent whatever insanity that is currently in vogue. If you don't think this is true, then go back in the early 1900's when women didn't have the right to vote, Africans were slaves, and Chinese worked as slaves as well. The sanitized world we have been convinced exists, only exists in our minds and on paper. Our hearts have very little say in the matter. So called Christians were doing some pretty horrible things to many different kinds of people, much like they are doing today.

Our society is set up under the same insane constructs that suppress our awareness of Being within. The facts are all there in front of those who have eyes to see and ears to hear. If one connects to their Being on a regular basis, they can begin to experience what insanity feels like, because everyone who is insane is in pain and suffering. Even the so called leaders who are at the top. The only reason they don't show fear is because they continue to get what they want. If they don't, notice what sort of reactions arise from their normal act. Arrogance arises when one continually gets what they want and those who want usually don't care what has to happen to get it. Ego knows no bounds in creating a world of fear. We believe in this fear from a very early age and grow up with it etched in our psyches. Our spiritual tasks as adults is to awaken from this stupor of illusion and learn to undo the fear response patterns and anchor ourselves back into the love source that Being occupies.

In closing, it is important to know that the issue isn't about body parts, material goods or any other man-made circumstance or rule. The issue is about love period. A love that is based in Being is all that matters. One must also understand that when you are working at anchoring yourself in Being, there will be attempts by other ego's who will work diligently to stop you. The power of the ego arises from a collective unified energy field of lower vibrational consciousness. When people are insane, they are operating in this lower vibrational field, which are usually the first three chakras. This is why it is so difficult to awaken out of that lower energy field. As more people wake up it begins to dissipate the strength of the field. This why 9/11 and other acts of violence have been occurring to impede this awakening process.

When one gets anchored in sufficiently to Being, others will no longer bother you, because the higher states of energy connect you to the Divine energy field. This field protects you from losing your connection to Divine wisdom, guidance, intuition, dreams, and assistance at all levels. The more grounded you are in Being the better things get. Remember this work is about win/win and joy, bliss, and abundance. There is no right way as long as you are in accordance with your Being. When in Being we do not harm another being. In this context how you express your sexuality/spirituality is your divine right in expressing unconditional love and all that arises from the divine within. 

Look around you at all the miserable people. What makes them happy is that they are following the rules and getting rewarded for it. Unfortunately the way the ego works and the way the ego made world operates, one is guaranteed to lose stuff and that means losing happiness. The many follow rules that severely cripple their spiritual being, which is why they are so motivated to want money and things, because this is used as a distraction to fill the emptiness of playing the game of illusion/delusion. You always have the choice to decide whether to play the game of ego. When you have had enough, you will begin to realize that a new game is under way and you will be led to people, places, things, and information that will lead you to Being.

On another note, I spent some time today watching a movie on the life of Louise L. Hay. The movie is well worth watching if you can find it at your local DVD rental shop or buying it. Here is the link to the movie site:


1.07.08 - The idea of truth in our culture is defined by egoic insanity. Most of what you are told in the media is based on this insanity. The major media corporation leaders know all about how to use fear to manipulate. This what the advertising industry is all about. They hire the best psychologists to figure out how to manipulate the egoic mechanisms in order to gain control of the masses. There are quite a lot of books about this out there. All one need do is do a Google search. I no longer watch mainstream media due to its biases of supporting the political agendas of our insane leaders, as well as corporate agendas. It is not uncommon to find that European news is more aware of what our government is doing than we are. Corporate media only allows information that has been approved for the masses. 

I would suggest finding other sources of news. There are many non-profit organizations on the Internet who are dedicated to bringing you the information and stories that are blocked by mainstream media. I recommend as for keeping abreast of what is going on. I have other sources as well, but don't spend a great deal of time reading everything. I believe in using my intuition to guide me to read particular stories at different times. Today's stories were interesting, pointing out how the media blocked particular senators from participating on the debates. If we truly lived in a democratic system, no one would be denied from the debates. This is how our democratic system has been undermined. There are gate keepers who make their business to block access to the masses.

These same corporate leaders are the ones who participate in the power circle in Washington D.C. Every time there is a new election for president, there is a power struggle to see what group of power is going to take over the White House and occupy the various seats with corporate or political appointees who are in alignment with the power agenda of these elites. I have been sobered by the realizations of how many of the various departments in the U.S. government, such as the FDA, USDA, have open door policies with corporate interests. Those appointees allow the corporations to write their own policies, while ensuring the public has little to know input in this process. This is how it has always been. These groups are interested in only one thing, and that is to ensure they make as much money as possible and to avoid any protect themselves from any liability. Corporate interests have no problem with hiding the truth about side effects or any other issues related to health or safety concerns. You won't hear about this in the mainstream news.

Did you know that the FDA and the USDA allow Genetically Modified Organisms in most foods and have been working diligently to avoid any labeling of foods and medicines so that you the consumer can make informed choices about what you want to put in your body? This also occurring with organic foods as well. I recently wrote General Mills to find out if their granola bars used sugar derived from sugar beets. Here's the response I got:

"Dear Mr. Buck:

Thank you for recent inquiry regarding General Mills’ position on the use of ingredients that have been modified through biotechnology.

First and foremost, all food must be safe.  It is not only the law, but also an issue of ultimate importance to all food manufacturers.  Second, the Food and Drug Administration, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Environmental Protection Agency have all concluded that food using ingredients from biotechnologically-improved crops is completely safe and no different in any meaningful way from other food.  For that reason, the FDA does not require special labeling for it.  However, if food has been significantly altered in composition or nutrient content, or if biotechnology introduces allergens into food, special labeling is required.  None of our products requires special labeling.  Accordingly, we do not test them for the presence of this material.

Because of the growing use of biotechnology by farmers and the way that grain gets commingled in storage and shipment, it’s certainly possible that some of our products may contain ingredients that have been improved through biotechnology.  We can assure you, though, that every major regulatory agency, as well as independent scientific groups like the American Medical Association, has concluded that these ingredients are safe.  For more information, you may wish to visit The Alliance for Better Foods website at

General Mills also believes in providing consumers with a variety of food options.  Toward that end, we do offer organic products that, by definition, do not use ingredients that have been improved through biotechnology.  Please look for organic Gold Medal flour and a wide range of products from our Cascadian Farm and Muir Glen brands.  To get more information about our organic products, please visit us at

Thank you again for taking the time to contact us.


Kristi Goodman

General Mills

Consumer Services"

Did you know that the link they gave me, - Alliance for Better Foods, was created by the following organizations to represent the truth: (there site no longer exists)

The Alliance for Better Foods (ABF) was created to promote public acceptance and to oppose labeling of genetically modified foods. It is run by the Washington office of BSMG Worldwide, a full service PR firm whose clients include Monsanto, the Chemical Manufacturers Association, Procter & Gamble, Philip Morris, and numerous other large food, chemical and pharmaceutical corporations.

Here is a link to SourceWatch where I found this information:

"SourceWatch is a collaborative project of the Center for Media and Democracy to produce a directory of the people, organizations and issues shaping the public agenda. A primary purpose of SourceWatch is documenting the PR and propaganda activities of public relations firms and public relations professionals engaged in managing and manipulating public perception, opinion and policy. SourceWatch also includes profiles on think tanks, industry-funded organizations and industry-friendly experts that work to influence public opinion and public policy on behalf of corporations, governments and special interests. Over time, SourceWatch has broadened to include others involved in public debates including media outlets, journalists and government agencies. Unlike some other wikis, SourceWatch has a policy of strict referencing, and is overseen by a paid editor. SourceWatch has 32,255 articles."

I would also recommend looking at this site too:

My original intent was to write about appearances as it relates to what I wrote yesterday. Appearances are carefully constructed from an egoic standpoint. Image is everything in regards to how one represents what they want the public to buy. No expense is spared when it comes to pulling the wool over the citizens or consumers.

Appearances are deceiving because they create an illusion that goes against what the actions are of anyone who has an agenda. Having an agenda is an egoic process geared towards undermining others right to make informed choices and to live in Being. Egoic agendas require appearances to cover up their true motives. Politics and religion have been doing this for some time with disastrous results for the common people, while increasing profits and power for the elites.

This might seem ridiculous and in fact those in power will spend a great deal of time convincing you how much they care about you and what they are doing to assist you. If you listen to the words, they seem legitimate, but its the actions that are telling of the real agenda. For example, news reporters who interview George Bush are carefully screened and no embarrassing questions are allowed to be asked. The whole interview is controlled to ensure alignment with the agenda. We the people watch this on TV and it is really nothing more than a carefully crafted version of truth. The really important questions will never be asked. Ironically, the sort of questions one asks determine the outcome desired.

This goes on every day in politics and religion. No one ever asks the real questions or holds the leaders accountable for their actions. This continues to occur because there are not enough people awake to walk away and stop supporting such non-sense. The only reason these insane people are in power is because they continue to be supported by insane people who are under the power of egoic insanity. People have a hard time getting past this idea of the masses being insane. Insanity is thought of as those who get locked up in mental wards. Consider this quote:

"When asked on U.S. television if she [Madeline Albright, U.S. Secretary of State] thought that the death of half a million Iraqi children [from sanctions in Iraq] was a price worth paying, Albright replied: "This is a very hard choice, but we think the price is worth it."" -- John Pilger, "Squeezed to Death", Guardian, March 4, 2000


These people who lead us, as well as those around us in our every day interactions, are under the delusion of their egos. They are not present to the choices they make every day that effect countless others. The higher up the ladder they are, the more people they influence positively or negatively. Positive influences do happen and there are moments when people snap out of their insanity. But in general they tend to be under the influence of ego on a regular basis. We have been so conditioned to "normalize" our dysfunctional behaviors that we don't even call them into question, which is why we do not see these sort of behaviors as insane.

The Christian movement has been under the direction of a great many insane people who have done and continue to do some pretty dysfunctional things to others. Slowly as more people awaken out of this insanity, they begin to open their minds, which allows them to open their hearts. It is through an open heart that people begin to realize the ignorance of their belief systems. People start to realize how they have been oppressing others who do not conform to their way of thinking with disastrous results.

The importance of this is essential in getting to Being, because I am believer in Jesus, but also Buddha, Mohammad, and many other males AND females who have helped raise consciousness. I do not believe that Jesus was the only person who was awake and I most certainly believe that there are people on this planet who are quite as capable as Jesus or the others. Christian leaders for a long time on up to the present have preached a great many half truths surrounding Jesus. They have created a program of indoctrination that has caused a great many people to believe in a great deal of non-sense based on egoic notions.

All one need do is compare the actual quotes in the bible Jesus made to all the rest of the bible and what Christian leaders teach. Here is a site that lists them My point here has to do with realizing that what Jesus is actually quoted as saying is in conflict with the rest of the bible and Christianity's teachings. How can it be possible to believe in Jesus teachings and in the same breath, support the exact opposite of his teachings?

Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence. Love others as well as you love yourself." How can Christians profess to be followers of Jesus, profess to be saved, profess to know what love is and in the same breath turn around and hate the other, judge the other, condemn the other, ostracize the other, kill the other? Ask yourself these questions, because they will shed light upon the egoic non-sense that masquerades as love and compassion for your fellow humans.

Jesus said, "Let him without sin cast the first stone." There have been countless professed Christians who in their egoic non-sense have acted in this way towards others, all the while avoiding their own sin.

Jesus said, "Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the Sons (and Daughters) of God." Let's look at our current leaders in both politics and religion. Peace is not just about wars, it is about every aspect of our societies, therefore we need to bring peace into all things that we create. When egoic non-sense is present there is no peace, and the works we do are not done with peace in our minds and ultimately our hearts. There are no true children of God because the many are caught up in their egoic insanity. Peace requires one to be coming from a place of unconditional love; no if's, and's or but' have any bearing. If they do, it is important to understand they arise from egoic non-sense.

Jesus said, "Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account." This by far is the worse sin of Christians who profess to know what God approves of, who turn around and use their limited cultural beliefs/biases to condemn the other. I've watched Christians do this to those who do not follow their egoic Christian interpretations of what God approves of and doesn't. This is absolute non-sense; that God would hate someone is the most ridiculous thing imaginable. This is where it becomes important to begin to look at what beliefs people hold and where they learned them. This is why one book doesn't have all the answers, why each must seek out wisdom in other books that have been shown to resonate with the heart.

In addition, to be told that the bible is the only absolute truth is to deny that the heart might know better. Isn't the heart that directly connects to the Divine/God/Goddess? How can a book supersede this inner knowing? The answer is there is no book that supersedes the heart and inner knowing. This is the lie that has been perpetuated for eons by politics and religion. The lie requires one to give up this inner connection to listen to a "greater" truth external to each persons direct inner connection to the spiritual divine. This distortion of truth has created such a fragmentation of egoic conflicts that the many are unable to truly critical think themselves out of the limiting box of the egoic mind. This limiting box is full of all the distorted truths that the many have been conditioned to believe as absolute truth.

If people spent more time looking into their hearts and realizing how far removed they are from loving unconditionally versus how often they judge others, they might be getting closer to the real truth of the Divine. The difference is intellectualizing what God is rather than experiencing the Divine directly. I am reposting an article that discusses these perspectives:True Guidance vs. False Guidance as well as this chart outlining Ego Versus Spirit Voices If one is going to be believing in something, then it is important to understand what the sources of information are and does it resonate with one's heart. The rub here is that the many "think" that they are resonating information with their hearts, but in these situations, the ego has taken on the role of the heart as well, which is why so many believe and support so many unloving deeds and words.

New Spirit Journal, an excellent spiritual newspaper; also has archives of past issues.


1.12.08 - I was trying to find a book title by Deepak Chopra that I'd read awhile back and found that he also wrote a book called, "The Third Jesus: The Christ We Cannot Ignore." I've included a copy of the editorial reviews by prominent people, including Michael Beckwith (The Secret) and Miceal Ledwith (What the Bleep):

Editorial Reviews:

"In this book, Deepak Chopra proposes a Copernican revolution in our understanding of Christianity by replacing the theological version of the holy trinity with the triptych of Jesus as possessing a human, an institutional and a mystical dimension. By emphasizing the mystical dimension and identifying Jesus as a spiritual revolutionary, he invites Christianity to perform yet another miracle in his name- that of transforming the world once again." Arvind Sharma, Birks Professor of Comparative Religion, Faculty of Religious Studies, McGill University

"The hardest thing to see is what is hidden in plain sight. After 20 centuries of doctrine and dogma we have nearly lost sight of the Jesus who was a wandering teacher of mystical truths. In his imaginative reconstruction of the inner meaning of the gospels, Deepak Chopra reminds us of The Third Jesus, the enlightened master of God-consciousness. It will disturb the minds of the orthodox, and delight the spirits of mystics and progressive Christians."

- Sam Keen, Philosopher and Author, Sightings: Extraordinary Encounters with Ordinary Birds

"An insightful and clarifying glimpse into the life of one of the most radical spiritual teachers the world has known. Chopra gives us the gift of knowing that we may walk in the enlightened footsteps of our brother, Jesus the Christ."

- Michael Bernard Beckwith, founder Agape International Spiritual Center and author of Inspirations of the Heart, 40 Day Mind Fast Soul Feast, A Manifesto of Peace

"In The Third Jesus Deepak Chopra unfolds for us the spirit of Jesus and with a reverence that is at once simple and profound makes his spirit accessible to us in our everyday lives."

- Father Paul Keenan, Host, "As You Think," The Catholic Channel/Sirius 159

“Distinguishing between the historical Jesus and the Christ of Theology and Philosophy developed over 17 centuries Dr. Chopra captures an intriguing vision of a “Third Jesus,” who, while living on Earth, developed a deep relationship with God. Deepak calls this “God-consciousness.” Dr. Chopra brilliantly uses the sayings of Jesus to demonstrate how his basic mission and ethic of love grew out of his God-consciousness. Through Jesus’ own words and spiritual exercises Deepak beautifully elucidates a beginning, middle and unity pathway for growing in deep God-consciousness to anchor our life on earth and our life after death.”

- Rev. Edward J. Ruetz, retired Catholic priest of the Diocese of Fort Wayne/South Bend in Indiana

"Dr. Deepak Chopra's analyses and interpretations of the sayings of Jesus, in the form of "Comment," breathe renewed life into those sayings. Chopra's work brings the teachings of Jesus into sharp focus with a marvelous, modern touch of insight from the vantage of both Eastern and Western thought. With the thought of Jesus's model in hand, Chopra provides the reader with a spiritual path of exercises -- a remarkably renewed practice in search of a higher reality, helping to cause a connection between reader and God. The views Chopra imparts are definitely worth the effort to undertake this enlightening journey of reading and practice."

- Ben Christensen, Ph.D., Prof. Emeritus Dean of the San Diego School of Christian Studies First United Methodist Church of San Diego, CA

Jesus has now long since escaped the confines of church, Christianity and even "religions." Chopra's book thoughtfully presents a Jesus who is paradoxically both closer to the original and more available to post-modern people than the stained glass version. The book is bound to provoke both admiration and condemnation which, come to think of it, the maverick Galilean rabbi also did.

 Harvey Cox, author, When Jesus Came to Harvard, Hollis Professor of Divinity at Harvard

Chopra’s book The Third Jesus reminds me of the theological work of one of history’s greatest humanitarians and the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Dr. Albert Schweitzer.   Schweitzer wrote extensively about Jesus and challenged much of the prevailing theology regarding Jesus’ life and ideas.  Chopra is Schweitzer’s equal in bringing to light a fresh and profound way to experience the teachings of Jesus..

- David T. Ives, Executive Director of the Albert Schweitzer Institute at Quinnipiac University

"In this book a man shaped by the religions of the East introduces the West to a Jesus we have either lost or have never known.  That is itself a stunning concept, but Deepak Chopra is a stunning man.  He explores what he calls the "Christ Consciousness," which can be identified neither with the Jesus of history nor with the Jesus of the creeds, the doctrines and the dogmas of the ecclesiastical institution.  This "Third Jesus" can be seen only when we move into a new human awareness that will carry us beyond tribe, prejudice and even beyond our religious systems.  As a Christian, I welcome his insights into my Jesus and his provocative call to me to enter the "Christ Consciousness" and thus to become more deeply and completely human."

- John Shelby Spong, Retired Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark, Author, Jesus for the Non-Religious

In this intriguing study of the sayings of Jesus, Deepak Chopra gently releases this highly evolved spiritual teacher, light of the world and son of God from the limitations of dogmatic theology. With profound wisdom and clarity Deepak offers the amazing suggestion that the same God-consciousness embodied in the human Jesus is present in all of us individually and collectively. In a spirit of humble knowingness Deepak encourages us to look deep into the mirror of our collective souls and ponder the question Jesus continues to ask “Who do YOU say that I AM “?

- Sister Judian Breitenbach, Catholic order of the Poor Handmaids of Jesus Christ, Founder of the Sari Asher Namaste’ Center in LaPorte, Indiana

The book makes God accessible to those who find God distant, troublesome, or both. Chopra rescues Jesus from the confusion of the ever multiplying schools of Biblical criticism. The book shows us how to investigate, in a new way, Jesus--the mysterious man with divine awareness. Chopra resolves contradictions in Jesus' sayings, sharpens our understanding of Jesus' teachings, and guides us in the application of Jesus' teachings. Jesus comes into focus. We gain new expectations of what the spiritual life looks like. The book calls even to those who have lost any sense of God. By following the book's practical applications, they, too, may find the universe meaningful instead of indifferent. This is a book to read, re-read, and incorporate into one's life.

- Bonnie Bobzien, MD, Member of board of directors of San Diego School of Christian Studies

Literate, mainstream Christians will welcome Chopra’s championing before the world, the meaning of their commitment to action, practice, “ortho-praxis,” following the only absolutely unambiguous demands of Jesus on his followers recorded in the New Testament: serving the poor, loving neighbor and even enemies. It is the most effective response to the Dawkins’ crowd who never even mention the Bishop Robinsons, Martin King, Dietrich Bonhoeffers, Mother Teresas who by their actions, have shown their faith in this Jesus Christ.

- Rustum Roy, Evan Pugh Professor of the Solid State Emeritus, Professor of Science Technology and Society Emeritus, The Pennsylvania State University

“God created man and woman in His image,” a biblical poet reminds us. Deepak Chopra has returned the compliment. He joins other incisive minds who have reflected on Jesus as “the true light who enlightens every person” (John 1:9). Jefferson, for example, revered Jesus as “the first of human Sages.” He looked like Jefferson–dignified, brainy and humorless. Assertive, rabble-rousing Malcolm X told Playboy magazine in 1963 “Christ was a black man.” Was it coincidental that his ebony Jesus bristled at the status quo as he flashed revolutionary rhetoric?

Chopra engagingly describes Jesus as looking much like Deepak. Jesus enlightens us, creating a helpful “path to God-consciousness.” Jesus can’t be contained within stultifying Christian creeds and arid Church traditions that deify him. Yes, he is divine, for Chopra in the sense that he divines a way to Cosmic Consciousness. Here’s energy within that settles us down, excites our passions we look up to capture them and points us back to Jesus, the savant who makes us conscious of the good, the true and the beautiful. 

- Reverend Dr. Jack R. Van Ens, Creative Growth Ministries, Christian dramatist and commentator for the Vail Daily

The message of Jesus was clear, simple and direct. But within a generation of his passion it was compromised in order to accommodate the widely conflicting views among those who claimed to follow him. In Deepak Chopra’s new book you will find much thought- provoking material related to this compromise which will elucidate many sensitive issues that have perplexed believers for centuries. In contrast to a message originally intended to inspire people to the wonders of a world reborn in God, the emphasis nowadays makes it almost impossible to think of Jesus or even Christianity itself except in terms of the suffering savior who died to appease God’s anger against us. The terrible toll this emphasis has exacted on the message is sensitively treated in a most compelling way in this very valuable new work.

- Miceal Ledwith, L.Ph., L.D., D.D., LL.D, Former President and Professor of Theology, Maynooth University, Served as a Member of the Vatican's International Theological Commission for seventeen


Here's some reflections from Ingrid Naiman:

"Dear Subscribers,

Years ago, I was studying the regulations governing treatment facilities in Hawaii.  The red tape and hurdles seemed horribly complex, as if intended to obstruct rather than promote quality health care.  Curious as I am, I looked into how this situation could have come to pass and it traced back to the days of the monarchy when leprosy control became the number one official concern of the islands.  A point came when 90% of the budget of Hawaii was channeled into measures to control leprosy, not 90% of the budget of the Department of Health but rather 90% of the monarchy's total budget.  Furor over leprosy was so severe that agents could enter a home in the middle of the night, drag someone from his bed, and while still in pajamas, put him on board a ship and dump him off the shores of Molokai to fend for himself, never to reunite with friends or family.

Around the same time I was discovering these horrid facts, there were murmurs from the Vatican that Father Damien might be canonized and there was a fabulous one-man play that was televised shortly thereafter.

Leprosy, now usually referred to as Hansen's disease, was never regarded as curable in Hawaii and even to this day, it is practically criminal to have leprosy, so great is the fear.

My own relationship to this stigmatizing disease revolves around the pivotal experience of St. Francis when through the agonizing events of his life, he knelt in surrender to the divine and offered himself as a servant, withholding only one part of himself.  When he arose, a leper stood beside near and Francesco realized he could not withhold anything from God.

These transformative moments are what keep religion and religious movements pure, but this morning, someone sent me the completely unsettling health "agenda" of Mike Huckabee.  His "political" argument was coherent:  never in history have we allowed infected persons who are capable of causing epidemics to move freely in society.  Actually, while this is partly true, it is obviously not completely true.  The problem was these statements were made in the context of AIDS and his views on marriage, sexual orientation, and rights or lack thereof of people who do not fit into his world view.

However, what is different about AIDS and influenza is that the mechanism of transmission is consensual so really his medical concerns border more on hysteria than sound epidemiology.  This said, there can be little doubt but that the spread will be consistent with behavior that occurs in the privacy of our personal lives rather than in the schools or places of employment that would be affected by the veto power of whoever next sits in the Oval Office, not to mention who is appointed to the Supreme Court.

Once again, I urge people to be thoughtful.

In this country, we continue to debate, hotly but seldom particularly brilliantly, such matters as vaccines, mercury, fluoridation, chlorination, health care insurance, etc., etc.  Since Michael Moore has put Norway into the spotlight, it might be noted that mercury is banned in Norway because it "is among the most dangerous environmental toxins" and safer substitutes are available, even for measuring devices that contain mercury.  Here, however, it is likely that the only reason we continue to debate rather than act on what is known is that corporate interests lobby heavily and reward mightily those who are willing to set aside facts so as to profit on the suffering of others.

We must therefore ask who are the politicians who can spin the studies so skillfully that the truth is completely obfuscated?

More to follow.





I want to write about the current presidential primary and in particular on Mike Huckabee and his particular conservative Christian ideology. Here is a piece from an article on Newsweek:

"The latest fuel on the fire: his views on marriage. In June 1998, the Southern Baptist convention amended its official statement of beliefs for the first time in 35 years to declare that "a wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband." And Huckabee, a former Southern Baptist minister then serving as governor of Arkansas, signed a full-page ad in USA Today in support of the statement (along with 129 other evangelical leaders)."

Being conscious as a sovereign Being does not include being submissive to another. Those who profess to be conscious who believe in this sort of non-sense, are not in accord with the Divine, but are locked into egoic beliefs, which require control over another. If one is needing to control one person, then the many are naturally in line for domination. People who want others to obey them have a problem; it's called insecurity, low-esteem, closed mindedness, control issues, conditional love. They are driven by an ego that is in constant need of stifling others awareness in order to have others obey them. This is the movement of darkness that has been guiding the world for quite along time.

Huckabee represents someone worse than Bush, in that he has made it clear where he stands. His conservative Christian ideology would have those with AIDS locked up away from the public. Huckabee states that AIDS is a plague and is busy trying to insinuate that it is like the plagues that killed many over the centuries. His stance is about condemning homosexuality and hopefully outlawing it. First off, AIDS is not like plagues, having taken AIDS required training to be a registered counselor, the only way to get AIDS is from unprotected sexual activity. What Huckabee and other homophobic people are trying to infer is that AIDS can be acquired from airborne particles. They are using fear to force others who are uninformed to buy into hysteria produced by closed minded Christian identified individuals.

I have always found it amazing that so many people spend so much time, effort, and money on stomping out homosexuality. First off no one can't be a desire; one can only experience desire, therefore whatever desires are within the Being cannot be judged, nor are they wrong, or as the many would suggest, immoral, an abomination, and other ignorant labels. Those who spend their waking hours worrying about how others express their love, truly do not have any idea what unconditional love is. Christians profess to know what love is, yet they rarely follow up with actions that support their words. As I recall, Moses came down from the mount with ten commandments, one of which stated, Thou Shalt Not Judge. I also note that a great many Christians seem to overlook another commandment, Thou Shalt Not Kill.

Judgments arise from an egoic mind...

Christian dogma has always required obedience and most of Jesus original teachings have been weaved into larger writings by others centuries later professing to know what Jesus was about. In all of Jesus teachings, condemnation was never apparent, nor was judging others. Jesus was about love period. All the rest that has arisen out of Christianity has had nothing to do with Jesus teachings. About the closest the Church as come to love is the part where you obey their rules (not Jesus), and then you will know Jesus love. Unfortunately, the love they ascribe to is akin to the very thing Tolle discusses about how the ego operates; the need to judge and need to control for beginners.

What they pass off as love is about the domination of spirit by egoic mindsets that want to silence true unconditional love. We do not live in a loving society. Our culture and others similar to it are not based in love, they are based in self-hatred. Self-hatred is the true name of ego. Self-hatred seeks to stifle anything that would arise from authentic Being. In fact, if a way could be found to create babies without sexual intercourse, the Church and State would probably ban sexual contact altogether, because sex itself has the incredible potential to heal and trigger awareness; something that egoic minds don't want. Did you know that masturbation is health?

This whole homophobia frenzy stems from those who are frightened by their own inner homo-erotic desire. In fact, If they weren't, they wouldn't be spending so much time judging and hating others. And since when does love emanate from the sexual organs. If anything, people should be questioning why Church leaders are genital oriented in the first place, since they profess to be in the business of love. Ironically, Churches are big business, with lots of money being siphoned off the ignorant masses; just look at Televangelical shows starring quite well off ministers of the faith. Mind you, the sort of faith they embrace is the mighty dollar. It's about materialism.

The real issue is that homo-desire calls into the question the whole Christian model of consciousness. Homo-desire has been systematically eradicated over the centuries by so called Christians through guilt/shame/fear tactics, using peer pressure to ostracize those who don't conform, as well as physical intimidation, violence, killing, imprisonment, drug therapy, mental institutions. Quite frankly the only deviant behaviors here have to do with the whole Christian movement to define consciousness. Look at the list I just wrote, and compare each one to the actual words of Jesus. Do any of those have anything to do with what Jesus was about? The answer is no.

Christians in general have no interest in unconditional love, because if they did, they would be walking the talk of the Jesus they profess to uphold as the model of Christianity. The problem isn't homo-desire, the problem is a movement of people who are driven by ego mentality. The "good" they profess to do in the world is nothing more than ensuring the blind obedience to their way of thinking; which is egoic. Healthy sexual desire is a spectrum of authentic Being expressing itself. Our cultures are erotophobes, meaning to fear the erotic, because to fear sexuality in its wholeness is to fear spirituality in its wholeness. Conditional love would have you believe otherwise.

This is what conditional love is all about; obedience to an external source. The Church and those who serve the institutionalization of egoic standards of love are only interested in getting others to obey them, to surrender their will to another. This is the crux of why the world is the way it is. This idea of Satan or evil is nothing more than the egoic mind running the show, while the heart is imprisoned from expressing itself out into the world. Words alone have no bearing over love. When I see people spewing hatred, I see people who are coming from a place of egoic responses; fear.

How does a group of people profess to be loving when they force others to live their lives based on their demands. To say that GOD gave them the power via the bible is an absolute fabrication of the truth of the heart. The truth of the matter is that the only true source of GOD is within one's heart. And as long as one is coming from a place of fear, anger, hatred, violence, resentment, judgment, shame, and guilt, one is not going to know the real GOD within. Egoic movements by nature keep one imprisoned in the head. Thinking disconnected from heart feeling is what has created all pain and suffering on this planet.

Further more, pain and suffering create all dis-ease.  Dis-ease stems from emotional dysfunction, not punishment from GOD. A society governed by the ego mind is destined to destroy itself and others due to the fact that egoic mind is based in self-hatred. Self-love does not seek to judge or express fear, anger, hate or violence. Self-love is not interested in telling another how unconditional love should be expressed or embodied; ego love does this. Self-love is not interested in lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating, coercion, killing, or hurting; ego love does this.

Conditional love is about obedience to external rules/laws. Conditional love exists because it has been created by egoic love. In essence it is not love at all and the use of the term love is extremely misleading. If anything, it should be called egoic fear, because the ego is rooted in fear, and it is anger, hatred and violence that arise from its mechanisms. In actuality, to say one is in love is a misnomer, one is actually in fear. The split in the psyche arises when children are forced to stop Being authentic. They are forced to go against their authentic Being to obey others who are insane and rooted in egoic fear. Authentic Being is the essence of Soul expressing the Divine Spirit from the vastness of the Heaven within.

To give you another perspective, this idea of Satan/Evil that Christianity preaches about is nothing more than the ego. Ironically, the very thing they preach about is what runs their thinking processes, because the only thing functioning in judgmental people is an egoic mind. The egoic mind has created some insane notions about consciousness. We have been deluded by egoic thinking that the brain is the mind and hence something within the body that is separate and distinct. Egoic delusion has us convinced that Heaven is up there in the sky and Hell is down there in the ground somewhere; both external from the body.

The truth of the matter is we didn't come from external sources. If you think about this clearly, one will deduce that the creation of Being is an external source. One may think that it's a male and female, separate beings, who created a child. But the fact of the matter is that an egg and sperm created the child, and those eggs and sperms are internal. We have this limited mindset that somehow equates biological processes that create an infant; and they do. But, those processes are guided by spirit and no amount of egoic arrogance can own the process or believe that they are as powerful as the Divine. Our soul is not an egg or sperm or a body for that matter. Soul is not matter...

Our Soul is not the human body and the idea that it can be killed through abortion is only another attempt by ego to limit awareness to ensure the survival of imprisoning spirit from ruling from the heart in Divine authentic Being. The delusion is a weaved web of deception derived from egoic thought based on obeying external rules to the exclusion of any inner spiritual guidance based in Being. Part of the challenge is to awaken to the fact that all thoughts in one's head are not all authentic. A good example of this would be being in a room with a TV set going full blast and trying to hear your own thoughts. 

Egoic thoughts are loud and overwhelming, geared towards distracting you away from hearing the more soft voice of Divine knowing. Divine knowing is not interested in judging. It is the egoic driven mind that convinces people that judging is necessary for discernment. Actually, the truth is that discernment is needed for knowing. Discernment means:

  1. Discrimination.

  2. To distinguish between things.

  3. To perceive differences that exist.

  4. the condition of understanding

  5. aesthetic discrimination; taste, appreciation

  6. perceptiveness

  7. the ability to make wise judgments; sagacity

  8. discretion in judging objectively

Judgments are mostly based on egoic notions of cultural rules/laws. The majority live in a reality based on their beliefs. This is more complex than just thinking of this as thoughts in the head. These beliefs actually create, weave an illusion that distorts a person's view of the world. Perception as we know it is based on the cultural rules we are forced into at birth. These rules actually act as blinders, forcing the young away from their inner knowing into an exclusive outer knowing. It is akin to walking through life in the dark with only a flashlight. One only shines light/awareness on what makes them comfortable. Anything that is uncomfortable, doesn't fit into the belief box is either avoided or attacked.

The denial of this inner knowing basically disconnects one from the right side of the brain that allows one to access the inner dimension. In essence when we don't have access to the inner dimension, we lose contact with our birth place; Heaven. In essence the Church and State have made it their business to severe this inner dimension to ensure you do not find or remember Heaven. They talk about it at great lengths, but make no effort to show you how to access Heaven. Not only that, they have convinced you that you have to prove you are "good enough" to go there upon death. You need not wait till you die to enter Heaven.

This lie is what dominates egoic conditioning and why pain and suffering exist in the world. When one is connected to the inner authentic Being, wholeness regains its place internally, because ego cannot play GOD; ever. Insanity always arises with the disconnection of the Soul/Spirit. Basically, Church and State support self-hatred and are in accordance with the very Satan/Evil they profess to be guarding the masses from and constantly at war eradicating. To avoid our loving essence is the very thing that creates pain and suffering. Therefore Church and State condone pain and suffering. The truth of this is evident in their actions or lack thereof.

In essence, Church and State are at war with Spirit. They are in fact creating dogmas meant to force the masses into self-hatred. They make it their business to support self-hatred and have done so for a long time. Again, ask yourself why they don't teach people how to wake up? Because they really don't want you to wake up. It is in their best interests that you only know the truth they want you to know and it is carefully weaved to allow only certain information and repress others. This is done by telling half-truth or outright lies.

Half-truths are derived from weaving a part of truth with an untruth, thus causing an identification with the truth. This is why the Bible has only a small amount of Jesus teachings; the rest is used to weave a half-truth. With that in place it is important to understand that until the invention of the printing press, most people didn't know how to read and so were dependent on those educated in the Churches to tell them what the truth was. In those days Church and State were one externally in the world and those running the Churches were usually under the dictatorships of Kings and Queens.

Over time this shifted, and eventually the pope in Rome, Italy came into power over all the other popes in Europe, when the King of Spain financially supported him for political reasons, thus ending the reigns of the other popes. Each region of Europe had its own pope. This knowledge is not well known to the masses and for good reason. What we have been doing since then is waking up out of the insanity that has arisen from those insane leaders in Church and State.

It should also be noted that the same process has been unraveling elsewhere in the world, with the Jewish, Muslim, and other religions in the world. There have always been those in control of spiritual knowledge who have used it for their own desires for greed and power. These have been the gate keepers and key masters to higher states of consciousness. There concern is that the masses wouldn't know how to deal with this connection, that it would be too much for them to handle. The truth of the matter is that those who lead covet power over instead of surrendering to the Divine power within.

Leaders need to block anyone who is conscious because they challenge the status quo, which is really the obedience to a forced imprisonment to conditional rules of conformity in order to get your needs met. Unfortunately the only needs they are concerned that are met are for food, clothing, shelter, work, and money; and many don't even have that. This is the world we live in for the most part; a very materialistic based life living in egoic limitations. Pain and suffering arise from this egoic form of living. Happiness arises only when we get some egoic reward. if we lose it the happiness is lost. And the many continue to struggle following rules to get a reward, only the rules are created in such a way as to create more pain and suffering than rewards. Those who lead get huge rewards.

True joy, ecstasy, bliss, and abundance arise from authentic Being. In authentic Being we listen to the loving voice of the Divine within instead of the fearful (limiting) voice of ego within. Discerning the inner voices is the key to opening the inner gate. In reality, each of us has our own key to open the gate. The ego is the ultimate gate keeper that cons you into thinking you have to get the key by obeying the external rules. This is the ultimate lie. Nobody has any control over you at all in true reality. The whole egoic mind is a mental construct that is like a House of Cards. The only thing that keeps the delusion in place is fear. There are no external keys that will gain you entry.

Now you can understand why there is so much emphasis on fear in the media, weaved by Church and State. And you can see why violence is so prevalent in the world. Judgments are crucial to creating conflicts between people to ensure the many live in fear. Fear of not being good enough is the main emphasis. We are conditioned to think if we are good enough, then we will be worthy of heaven, and this is why we follow other people's rules. This following the leaders rules requires that we also police others who do not follow our way of thinking, which is in alignment with the rules of leadership. We get rewarded for policing others, not only from others for good conditioned behavior, but our ego also gets a boost too.

What people are ignorant about, they tend to react too, and it is this that egoic leaders tend to play on. Egoic leaders also know how to create fear in people and play people off on others. Over time egoic leaders have also learned how to use guilt and shame to trigger insecurity in people. Insecurity in part is what powers egoic action. It should also be pointed out that egoic leaders have the same problem, only they are driven into further delusion from their insecurity by using the power they've accrued by frightening others into giving up their sovereignty to become more of a slave to the system.

Egoic insecurity can be used to react against any authentic aspect of Being that may leak out. Unconscious people have moments when Being shines outward, but egoic based culture ensures it gets buried if too much shines outward. In those moments of shining we often show authentic parts of Being. At this point, depending on what cultural rule one breaks, others will respond via peer pressure using guilt trips, shame tactics, voicing anger, hatred, or violence as a way of intimidating a person back into the box of conformity. 

The leaders cannot police everyone, so it is essential to teach people fear early on in their years, so they grow up to learn the importance of peer pressure. Hence the need to create an educational system geared towards obedience. When children are small they cannot go against adults and so are gradually taught to sit and be obedient. They are given rewards like food and play if they follow the rules. Authentic play is gradually replaced with culturally sanctioned play. More and more emphasis is placed on intellectual processes of discernment, while the arts and inner knowing are excluded over the long run.

The school system is  rampant with peer pressure, in most cases worse than the adult world, and as the children start to lose consciousness at home, they begin to act like their parents and bring the dysfunction into the schools, where they begin to force it upon their peers. The ruthlessness that goes on in our schools is often overlooked by the adults who work there, either because they are too busy to care, or they support it, or they don't want to know.

Schools like Churches are sanctioned learning institutions geared towards teaching what truth is and to train you how to conform your thinking and actions in alignment with what accepted norms of truth are.  Both are just as bad, but in my mind Churches are supposed to be about spirit and so in some sense they are more damaging than schools, because their lie is that they are there to assist you in spiritual development, which opens people to trust those who truly are not interested in their authentic Being. In fact, they go out of their way using guilt, shame, and fear to break your will into obedience. Telling someone they are born into sin or that there is something wrong with them because they don't relinquish their authentic Being to be saved, is more appalling and destructive than schools.

In the past centuries if you didn't go to Church you got in trouble. Over time, people got fed up with religious institutions, hence the reason Martin Luther began printing the bible. This led to a split in the Church and over time people left Europe for the Americas to create their own idea of what religion was. But egoic mindsets were still at the helm and any other indigenous cultures that got in their way were systematically destroyed in body, mind, and spirit. Since then, splits have continued in the Churches to the point where you can readily see the various stages of egoic mindsets that operate in all those splintered branches of religious belief; egoic belief.

The more fear, anger, hatred, judgments, and violence that arises, the more egoic fear is present. Fear shuts consciousness down, deadens awareness to a point where anyone different is attacked in various ways. Anyone who doesn't conform is labeled an enemy and subsequently ostracized. Different groups of egoic mindsets battle it out to take power to force others into their way of thinking. What you are witnessing in the world has been an ongoing battle of little egos at war with themselves, creating groups of egos that battle other groups of egos. This is insanity at its worst.

When we split off from authentic Being, the ego begins to wage war on authentic Being until it is literally buried and disappears. Ego continues to wage this war, because authentic Being is always arising, for it is what Being does; always in all ways. One cannot harm Being, nor can one kill Being; it is like a flame that can never be extinguished. Nothing can extinguish it, not even Being can extinguish Being.

When ego is at war with Being, it has to go to war with others around it externally, because they represent a threat to egos delusions. This is why war is worthless as a bringer of peace. The only thing that arises from the wars of our egoic leaders is obedience and slavery with a loss of consciousness. One could see the world as a reflection of what is going on inside the psyche. All the forms of society are nothing more than this inner battle going on.

True peace can only arise from within first. When people begin to wage peace within, then peace will naturally arise in the external world. All that is created in the world is a product of the inner thinking that arises. Beliefs are based on past or future constructs. Being is in the moment, where each moment arises in the truth of the heart. Ego is not interested in change, it likes things to stay the same, so that outcomes can be controlled. Our true inner nature is wild like Nature and is why egoic mindsets continually destroy Nature's pristine essence. Ego does the same thing internally.

All pain and suffering arises from the egoic mindset. Each person has to come to the point where the pain and suffering becomes more unbearable than the pain and suffering of changing the way they live. One can see more and more people finally getting to the point where they start making changes because it was too unbearable. The rich are more so driven, since they are driving culture and their insatiable desire for more money, assets, and power, which requires them to continually work at getting the masses to buy into the game they create. While they cannot see it, they are traveling a road that leads to their own downfall as well.

The obsession for money, assets, and power is in essence the need to fill the emptiness within. Ultimately, the House of Cards comes tumbling down as the psychic walls crumble under the deluge of truth and love of Being. This is the only thing that will bring peace to those who are in self-hate mode. Self-respect leads to self-love, which leads to inner peace, which leads to creating from a place of love that radiates outward into the world creating peace and abundance for all.

Each of us is a spiritual Being with an energy field that creates through intentions. Ego can tap into this field and create fear based realities. But like I said before, fear cannot obliterate love; ever. Love is far more powerful than fear. If absolute fear reigned, the world would be a complete war zone. In some ways, one can see that love is at play in the world, otherwise the fear mongers would prevail absolutely. Love is presenting itself more and more. And ego is reacting more trying to stifle love.

The many still are caught up in the lies, but it is important to understand this process. Ultimately from Being, no one is asking anyone to do anything they don't want to do. If its not coming from your authentic self then don't act on it. But, the minute one begins to tell someone else what they are doing is wrong, then know the fear of ego is presiding over your authentic Being. Only the ego needs to force others to obey its rules and if you don't, then a reaction required to put you in your place.

Don't take my word for it, start looking into this. There are many people out there who are saying the same things. This is one of the reasons why there is a backlash rising from the Church and State, because they realize that the masses aren't buying the distorted reality they are presenting. We still live in a world where money talks and rules. People are getting fed up with living in fear. They are tired of the pain and suffering and are starting to wake up to the lies. When enough people wake up to the lies, then those in power tumble down of their own accord.

Our response-ability as Beings is to love others unconditionally as they trek through this difficult process of waking up out of the madness. Our response-ability is to come from love and assist those as Being guides us to do so. Non-judgment is extremely important, as is having compassion for not only them, but for our own selves as we continue to awaken and create a better world amidst the destruction in the world. Here's a relevant poem I wrote back in 1994. I now understand what it was spirit was channeling through my poetry in those past years:



Out of the ashes our spirit, untainted, untarnished,

arises more stronger from it's pain.

Awareness brings choice, understanding, and forgiveness

of ourselves and others.


So, let your fires consume you,

and in your mourning,

your tears will put out the flames

and nourish the ashes to grow once again.

For this is the eternal flow of grace

from the heavens within us.


Understand not what you think,

but what you feel rippling beneath the surface

of the mask you've made so carefully.

To accept your creation of authentic Self,

is to be in control once again of ones timeless destiny.


Your escape and survival built this mask,

yet your eyes have holes to see.

The eyes hold the windows to the Soul.

These windows offer an exit if one can feel the Soul.


Come forth and join me in the feeling,

To be vulnerable to life,

And whole in heart.


Sherman R. Buck



I would encourage you to read the poetry spirit presented through me, because it touches on a great deal of the spiritual dimension of Being. You will find the link on the main page.

We are blessed Beings of Light. The light is within and it has never lost any of its brilliance. The Light is timeless, vibrant ecstatic love, the likes of which the many are so thirsty for that a mere drop would quench your thirst and drive them to move beyond the chains that bind. When one realizes how empty the world is of true love and warmth, they begin the quest to unbury their authentic self and find solace in others who are of light, love, and warmth. All love and warmth emanate from the Light. Spirit has no agenda but to welcome all its children. 

True love has no need for punishment. It is time to awaken from the stupor of self-hatred and open to self-love. We are who we've been waiting for. No on is going to come on high to rescue us. We each have to rescue ourselves from the madness. And all that we need to guide us is within. Listen quietly to discern between love and fear thoughts.


1.13.08 - Ego needs fabrication in order to create an entirely false personality that supports mistruths. This is what society forces others into; a self-made prison that keeps the light locked away internally so it can't shine outwards. While attending Fairhaven College, I was taking an experimental art class, and had the opportunity to make a mask of my face. The whole experience was eye opening about this process of creating a mask to prevent authentic spirit from shining through. Laying on the floor, I had someone begin the process of putting on strips of gauze with plaster on them. As each piece went in place, I began to realize the profound profess of having my face covered over. As the process continued, eventually each eye was covered over, then the mouth, and finally just enough room to breathe through the nostrils.

While this was all going on, I was aware of these feelings of anxiety, as my real face was covered over to create a false one. I had been coached on the importance of staying relaxed, breathing, and remaining calm. Some people panic and rip the mask off. The irony of this, as well as my process was not lost on profound points. It occurred to me that with a false mask over my authentic face, I was unable to speak freely and truthfully. With a false mask, I was also unable to see clearly without filters; mainly the mask. Ironically, masks have been used throughout time for many different reasons.

After waiting awhile for the plaster to harden, I was able to begin the process of removing the mask. This process was also enlightening due to the plaster being stuck to the skin. Prior to starting the mask-making process, Vaseline had to be spread over the face to assist in the plaster not sticking to the skin. Even with the Vaseline, the plaster still stuck somewhat to the skin. I had to flex my facial muscles around to unstick the plaster. This took quite awhile before the mask finally was able to be pulled off carefully. The whole process gave me an experience of feeling what it must feel like to take off one's mask.

Ironically, it has been almost nine years since making masks. I have taken off many different psychological masks that I was forced to create and wear long ago. I also had to remove the ones learned in the military and corporate America as well. I've read stories by psychologists who believe it is important to have masks, that they are needed in the every day world. Quite frankly, that is an egoic mindset expressing itself to shore up the movements that are going on in the world today to Be. Being doesn't need masks, is not interested in masks. Being is wanting to be authentic, and authenticity lies beneath masks. How one can be authentic and wear a mask in my estimation is just not possible.

In culture, we are taught roles that decide what gender is supposed to be like. Due to living in a patriarchal society, males get to rule, and they decide what behaviors are acceptable for men and women. When you watch small children, there is no difference between males or females. They both express themselves with emotions, feelings, vulnerability, sensitivity, gentleness, with the full range of authentic openness. As they get older, boys are taught, forced, and shamed into shutting down their feelings and emotions. In order to create a society where women are subordinate to men, those who rule have to lessen women by judging certain behaviors as acceptable for women, but not men. The truth of this insanity is that we are all the same internally in regards to expressions of authentic Being.

This is not simple or cut and dry, because there are circumstances that allow stepping over the boundaries. In general though, in order to lessen women, men have to deny any connection to those same attributes in themselves. It is how patriarchy props itself up, how males are deemed superior to females. Gender stereotypes outline what is acceptable in roles. While inroads are being made into this, much of the typical stereotypes still exist in our culture as well as others. Mike Huckabee is a perfect example of that mindset that believes males have the right to dominate and women should submit.

It is this kind of mindset that has ruled and dominated Church and State for many centuries. Quite frankly it is stifling for both males and females. And I would also like to throw a wrench in this whole idea of male/female sex identification by introducing what is kept low profile in our culture. Intersex is a term used to describe those who are born with both sexes. Those who have been conditioned with male or female have all sorts of reactions to this. But read about it for yourself and understand what occurs to them from a culture dominated with judgments and beliefs about right and wrong. I would suggest reading the whole site to better understand where I am going with this.

All of us are forced to adhere to rules about what we are supposed to be, instead of expressing our authentic Being. This process is a long process with many variables and forces used to box people into culturally sanctioned "ideas" of what it is to be male or female or human for that matter. What we are taught is to constrict and pull inward our Being instead of letting it out. Control is a huge problem in our world and it is driven by egoic mechanisms based on insecurity and low self-esteem. How could ego not be based on this when judgments rule who we are instead of authentic Being? This is one of the reasons I am a big supporter of doing bodywork, because it assists in releasing all that is twisted up tight in the body, holding in the expression of Being. Here's a link to bodywork types and information on my site:

All of these rules we are taught from a very early age require action on our part. One either learns to restrain an inner expression of Being or learn to create a false expression which is not Being. Either of these constructs take away from authentic Being. The process involves shutting down the flow of energy that is a by product of Being. There are many layers to this process, where constrictions of physiological processes need to be constricted. Feelings repressed, which then cause emotions to bottle up, because feelings are a natural outward flow of Being. Not expressing feelings is not Being. Emotions are by products of feelings being denied. Feelings and emotions are energies that when constricted begin to cause dis-ease over time on the body.

As feelings and emotions are stifled, the body has to begin physically creating armoring in order to constrict this bottled up energy. One can take a look at how people hold themselves, and read with ease how uptight they are. Rigidness is not a by product of Being. It is an outcome of stifling Being. If you watch small children, they are androgynous in nature, and are quite comfortable in Being. This is our natural state of Being. Children are soft, pliable, flexible, relaxed, calm, open, present, and in balance, having full integrity and truth in expressing their Being.

This is what culture attacks in its endeavor to force, form, and mold what human beings should be like in order for them to be controlled and fit into the box of conformity. This conformity is imprisonment of the Being and Spirit within. Look around at all the people you live, work, and play amongst. The many wear masks, and are superficial at best. We have been taught that this is "normal" and so we don't see through the facade. However, children do, and when they speak their truth, they are met with disapproval, being told to be quiet or that they are rude or wrong. In essence, the child sees through the facades because it is Being and Being is not interested in being imprisoned nor living a lie. Being names what a thing or person is.

This is why conscious Beings are not permitted in culture. It is why you will never see an authentic Being as a leader in Church and State, because they would literally disassemble the facades, masks, and lies. This is what Being does naturally because it is expressing the totality of what spirit is. Spirit doesn't judge, harm, cheat, steal, covet, kill, or resort to shame, guilt, fear tactics. It needs none of these egoic constructs because it is not egoic. This whole process that culture is wound up with is like a ball of rubber bands. Each rubber band is like a rule that gags and stifles the expression of true authentic Being. This tension constricts physically, physiologically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and ultimately spiritually.

We are sexual and spiritual all the time. They are both connected and one requires the other. This is why sexuality is so stifled and repressed in culture. Western culture is severely repressed, and it is interesting to see the obsession we have with sex, as it permeates so much what goes on in our culture. Advertising uses sex to sell, sex is used to gain a mate, clothes designers create sexually revealing clothes for women, as well as a host of other templates to enforce certain ideas, all for the purpose of conditioning certain culturally sanctioned behaviors of sexual do's and don'ts.

Because we are a lot like the rubber band ball, the constrictions shut down the normal flow of sexual/spiritual energies that usually flow unimpeded throughout the body. When the body is rigidified, the full range of sexual orgasm is relegated to the genital areas. The many have grown up thinking this is what orgasms are like. Unfortunately, this is only because the body is shut down in culturally sanctioned holding patterns. Sexual orgasms are a full bodied experiences that open one up beyond the body's armoring patterns. Sexual energies are a spectrum of erotic desire. If this were not so, there would only be hetero-desire arising and we all know that homo-desire has been around since the beginning of time.

So, the question begets asking, what is the big hang up? The hang-up is males frightened of having to own all they have disowned and projected onto women to carry. Men are just like boys when they are small; androgynous. They have feelings, emotions, tenderness, and softness. Men can be vulnerable, nurturing, gentle, supportive, and loving. What we see in the world in general are males who are violent in thought, emotion, and deed. All pain and suffering arises from those who expressing fear, which is an outcome of stifling Being. And by the way, women are being formed in this manner as well. They too have armoring in a different but similar way. Men are comfortable with passive or women who submit, but they react quite differently to males who are this way. There response to these types of males triggers their own insecurity within, otherwise they would not care one way or the other how anyone acts. Here is a link on women's issues that are just as reflective of men's issues too:;; There are many links out there, so do some research.

Men in our culture have  been able to have their cake and eat it too. One of the things I realized early on in my own process of owning my authentic self sexually, had to do with noticing how males reacted to my bisexuality. The first response usually was a reaction that I was going to want to have sex with them. What is interesting about this is that they assume that I find them attractive and see them as a sexual object. Ironically, this projection is what males do to females. Our culture sexually objectifies women at every turn. The typical male believes that women are wanting him and therefore open to having sex with him. Ironically, this is further from the truth, since most males are always hitting on females, expecting them to put out. So, I find it fascinating that males think I want to have sex with them. Most of them aren't worth the time of day with that sort of egoic attitude. It also shows how much egoic non-sense is in the way of authentic Being.

First and foremost, authentic Being doesn't force itself on anyone. Self-respect begets self-love and the other is always respected. Culture dis-respects people on a regular basis, or to be specific culturally formed humans disrespect others on a regular basis, because this is what ego does. In addition, this response from males towards bisexuals is threatening to the status quo in regards to how it subjugates women. I find the responses that males have towards me to be quite funny, since they are now getting an opportunity to know what women put up with males who are constantly seeing them as a sex object. Men have often been known to hit on women, be aggressive with getting them to submit to sex or leering at them, making a point to stare at women's breast, crotch, or buttocks, and making cat calls. no wonder women are uncomfortable in public and especially at night.

So, I find it quite revealing that males would react so, since they can begin to get a taste of their own medicine. The fear that males have when this occurs is also indicative of their own insecurity of who they are as a Being. If they were true Being, they would know they have a right to express themselves however they see fit and be respected for it. However, that is not the case that occurs. What does occur is an egoic reaction meant to stifle anyone who would step out of line with the cultural rules of conformity that are meant to stifle Being.

If people think Being is heterosexual, they are in for shock because ego is busy activating culturally defined responses to those beliefs. Again, we are a Being not a desire. We cannot be desire, but desire is an expression of Being, however it desires to express itself. All reactions in defense of culturally sanctioned rules are egoic in nature and therefore fear based. If it were love based, there would be no need to be concerned about what other Beings are doing in expressing themselves. The level of vehemence that arises from egoic controlled people shows there true egoic colors of fear, anger, hatred, violence, judgments with the need to control others and suppress them at any cost. Being has no need of this egoic non-sense. Peace of mind is not dependent on one's race, sex, gender stereotype, orientation, age, or any other culturally sanctioned belief system of which the ego supports.

Each person has a right to be who they wish to express. If a person is uncomfortable with whatever arises within themselves, then it is their egoic right to stifle it. But, they don't have the right to stifle others in order to make themselves secure. Unfortunately we have not arrived at a point in consciousness where egoic minds can be secure enough to allow others to be true to Being at any level. There are many, to include my own father who think they have the right to tell you who you should be, what you should do, and how you should express yourself at all levels. What they are interested in is control. The only reason they are interested in controlling others is because their egos is so busy controlling and stifling their own Being.

In closing, those in power with the dominant mindset would have us a believe that anyone not traditional is liberal. The idea of being liberal was brought to my attention during my last quarter of college. My father called me up and asked what I'd been learning. After ten minutes of telling him what I'd been learning, he then went into a speech about my needing to be careful of brainwashing by those "liberal" professors. I was told I needed to read Rush Limbaugh, as well as other conservative literature and television programs. At some point, after getting over my initial shock, I proceeded to confront my father with where he got off telling me what I should think, read, and watch.

Needless to say the phone conversation didn't last too long, after I read him the riot act. To say I was stunned was an understatement, because we never talked much in my house about politics, religion, or anything else. Our house was like so many other families of conservative mindsets. I think I was in shock the rest of the day. The next morning, I went out into the nearby forest and sat down in the grass. I sat there scanning over my conversation with my father, realizing suddenly that I really never knew that either of my parents were this way. It was just never talked about. However, as I began to settle into the grass on my back, I started to take apart my childhood and began to see it for what it was; Constrictive.

I want to be clear about this, This labeling thing we do in our culture is all related to different stages of egoic development. Each one is a threat to the other and so each egoic group struggles with the other. Our cultural growth has been an egoic one, geared towards constant war against the other, between right and wrong. Both sides are pitted in egoic confrontation, so as to prevent any sort of awakening to the madness of this egoic warring. Both sides are intent upon stifling authentic Being. Intellect is intellect and all intellect makes egoic constructs without connection to the heart or true Being. This is what I mean when I say heart; true heart is true Being. True Being is felt in the chest area.

Being wants peace. If you are frightened, angry, hateful, judgmental, resentful, or wanting to be violent, your ego is reacting. Do you want peace or war? Any form of turning away from peace is an egoic action. The process of waking up requires taking in new information. New information is going to cause an adverse reaction with ego mechanisms. By its very nature, ego rejects new information that is not in alignment with the cultural rules. Begin to recognize this process, begin to allow yourself to entertain new ideas. If peace of mind is your goal, then you have to realize that ego is what is causing the conflict. This is the warning flag that the rules are misconstrued. In seeking you will find the clue that will take apart the walls that are preventing you from having peace of mind.

A free mind isn't concerned about what others think. The heart mind is interested in Being love and expressing love, with the intention of creating peace, harmony, creative change for the betterment of all, and true abundance.



P.S. As an after thought, I was reading some material that triggered some awareness in me in regards to the world we live in. The many profess to be loving people, who embrace the teachings of Jesus who was about love. But, as I look around where I live and elsewhere, either in person or via articles or media outlets, it is clear that the actions of the many do not mirror this teaching, this philosophy. We are a society of people who are desperately wanting to be loved for who we are at our core. Instead, we settle for what is expected from others. Ironically, they are in the same straits, longing to be loved for who they are. The many are trapped in a cycle of egoic ugliness that permeates most if not all that ego thought touches. The touch of ego is like a black and white photograph of life, void of color and the vibrancy of spirited Being.

When I look around there are so many people who are isolated, lonely, depressed, angry, desperate, in pain, and lost. All the while, their egos put on fronts that everything is fine. Our cultural manners have us walking around pretending like everything is just all right. It's not. Our pain and suffering is hidden from others and most of the time hidden from ourselves, by an ego that continues to defy reality by creating some false notion, that if we just do the right thing, everything will be just fine. The right thing, the cultural rules, are slowly but surely strangling and killing us off one by one. This is what egos mindset is geared towards; killing.

In her book, Women Who Run With Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes discusses through one of her chapters, the story of Bluebeard points out this ancient force deep within our psyches that wishes to kill us. This is what drives most of the egoic movements, especially so when we are unconscious of what is going on. I heartily recommend the book for males as well, because we are all the same internally as spiritual beings. Here is the publishers note on the book:

"Within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species. Though the gifts of wildish nature come to us at birth, society's attempt to "civilize" us into rigid roles has plundered this treasure, and muffled the deep, life-giving messages of our own souls. Without Wild Woman, we become over-domesticated, fearful, uncreative, trapped. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., Jungian analyst and cantadora storyteller, shows how woman's vitality can be restored through what she calls "psychic archeological digs" into the bins of the female unconscious. In Women Who Run with the Wolves, Dr. Estes uses multicultural myths, fairy tales, folk tales, and stories chosen from over twenty years of research that help women reconnect with the healthy, instinctual, visionary attributes of the Wild Woman archetype. Dr. Estes collects the bones of many stories, looking for the archetypal motifs that set a woman's inner life into motion. "La Loba" teaches about the transformative function of the psyche. In "Bluebeard", we learn what to do with wounds that will not heal; in "Skeleton Woman", we glimpse the mystical power of relationship and how dead feelings can be revived; "Vasalisa the Wise" brings our lost womanly instincts to the surface again; "The Handless Maiden" recovers the Wild Woman initiation rites; and "The Little Match Girl" warns against the insidious dangers of a life spent in fantasy. In these and other stories, we focus on the many qualities of Wild Woman. We retrieve, examine, love, and understand her, and hold her against our deep psyches as one who is both magic and medicine. In Women Who Run with the Wolves, Dr. Estes has created a new lexicon for describing the female psyche. Fertile and life-giving, it is a psychology of women in the truest sense, a knowing of the soul."

People commit suicide from this egoic plague of the mind. Others pursue with madness the fear they aren't good enough, or others continually purge themselves thinking they are too fat. Many more are continually obsessed with buying the right clothes, makeup, cars, etc in order to be good enough. Still others spend countless hours and effort working like dogs, quite often under paid to prove they are good enough. More consistently find themselves attracted to others for bosses, co-workers, friends, and lovers who are like their judgmental parents, manically trying to please their parents through them unconsciously. The vast many are consumed by obsessive thought and driven to actions that distract them from ever having peace of mind. We are a species driven with a darkness that is cruel, vicious, mean, uncaring, selfish, intimidating, controlling, often torturing the very people and humans we say we care about and love. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Samuel Francis defined authentic conservatism as “the survival and enhancement of a particular people and its institutionalized cultural expressions. It is this sort of egoic mindset that asserts itself upon the mindscape of the world. What is being protected at all costs is the way of life that literally denies life, denies the expression of spirit unfettered by the fear of those who are more interested in material things than Beings. Their ideas of love are expressed in money, material goods, property, and power over others. Security to them is the denying of the true spiritual force within that would lay ruin to their obsession of the material plane over the spiritual plane. It is the denial of the wealth of love that sparkles and emanates from within and overflows into the world, when not sabotaged by egoic mindsets.

How sad that the many continue to deny their brothers and sisters the very thing they truly desire to be free of pain and suffering. It is ironic that as a society we have been conditioned to be sado-masochistic. Looking around, one can see the many who get off inflicting pain on others, while their are those who continue to get off on being caused pain. Neither one seems to have any sense of awareness of the pain the inflict or receive. It is as if they are feeding off the frenzy of this turning away from the light. In fact, I would suggest that this is what is actually occurring. A great feeding off the misery of others and receiving misery.

There is nothing man-made that is the answer to the call of insanity. It is only through opening up to the inner Being that we can begin to heal the insanity. Love is the answer, caring without an agenda, caring without judgment, willing to give what one has. Those running Church and State are not interested in the pain and suffering because they are part of the cause. They are not going to part with their money or their power. How ironic, since it is you the followers who have given them both. It belongs not to them at all, but was stolen through manipulation, deception, lies, and violence. The only way this dysfunctional way is going to come to an end is for each to begin to live through Being.

If people could truly be opened to how much pain and suffering goes on in the world, it would cripple them, and as it is they are already crippled in ways that they are oblivious too. What passes for love in this world is a horror story.


1.14.08 - It occurred to me just now (3:31pm) that all the problems of the world stem from lack of love. We are a planet starved for it on a regular basis. Humans are comatose from the lack of it. Humans die from the lack of it. Love the opposite of hate, would cure the senseless violence & killing, the hurting & maiming of others, the judging & condemning, the ostracizing & blacklisting, and the shame & guilt. All of these stem from human beings who learned to self-hate as children. Children do not grow up doing these things because they are healthy. They do it because they learned it; monkey see, monkey do. This is not something to intellectualize, this is something one has to bear witness to in the world. All the things I am pointing out about what we do to other human beings stems from lack of awareness, which at its roots is lack of awareness of the love that exists and emanates from the divine from within.

This Divine essence is why children and adults are treated so disdainfully. There is always a "reason" for expressing cruelty on another person in any form or manner that arises from the insanity of egoic conditioning. James Prescott worked for the National Institute for Health, a governmental body. During his time as director he began studying the roots of violence and came out with some serious implications relating to our cultural beliefs and other pertinent issues. Ironically the powers that be didn't take kindly to the work he and others were doing. I've included some links to a website that includes many articles by Prescott and others. There is also a link to NO SPANK, where you will find Alice Miller's book, "For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots
of Violence."

The Origins of Peace and Violence: Deprivation of Physical Affection as a Main Cause of Depression, Aggression and Drug Abuse

Project No Spank: The Web presence of Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education, Inc. 

- A resource for parents, students, educators, education policymakers, healthcare providers, children's advocates, and all others who are concerned with the safety and well being of children.

This is the beginning of the insanity we live with, where we teach young spirited beings how to act according to political and religious beliefs of conformity to culturally sanctioned forms of conditional love. All current social issues, problems, dis-ease, wars, obsessions are rooted in this violence (fear) towards the young. The many are frightened of the divine being that shines forth in the young. We say we love our children, but we the truth is we love them only if they do what we tell them and believe we what expect them to believe. The we I speak of is ego. It is not the Being within that is concerned with these things, it is the ego. What the many fear is their own inner connection to Divine Being; nothing more, nothing less. All the reactions to stifle others stem from a deep seated fear of ones own Divine Being within. The other is not the problem, the other is merely a mirror of what one loves or hates within their own self.

Take a look at some of the pictures of what is done to the children that are posted in the articles. Begin to become aware of what it is done in the name of "love" in our cultures. Begin to realize that this is just the crux of what we do to others in words, deeds, and actions. The many profess to live in a modern, technological advanced, open minded society, but the truth is we don't. We are not even close to being open minded and all that modern technological "stuff" is nothing but a distraction of which allows us to be violently opposed to authentic Being in ourselves and others. All that stuff has been created so that the many can avoid their own terror of Being true to themselves.

Every day I walk among the walking wounded, feeling their pain. Yes, we have the capacity to feel others pain, which is one of the reasons why we are unconscious, so we don't feel our own pain, as well as others. If one were to feel another's pain in a moment, you would be reduced to tears and you would be awake. My own knees buckled and I was reduced to tears, as I was given the opportunity to know another's pain. to say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. We don't want to know the other's pain because we don't want to know our own pain. Ego keeps us from knowing neither and it keeps us living in permanent hell here on Earth. Ironically, feeling that person's pain opened me up to purge some of my own pain. I felt something arising within, and ran back into the forest, where I collapsed on the ground face down in the dirt and sobbed for two hours, unable to move. What arose was remembering the pain of my early years, the living hell of a severely dysfunctional world. We cannot know the worlds pain until we know our own...

Hell exists here on a regular basis by all the violent hateful thoughts we have towards ourselves, which get projected out into the world onto others for the sake of making them in the image of our own misery and hateful spite. The many walking wounded having turned against their own selves blast it upon the others, further causing more and more trauma, pain, suffering, and death. Just look around at your beloved political and religious leaders outpouring of anti-love words and deeds.

I recall one of my mystical experiences and having this realization arising about pain and suffering: What is enough? Enough is when we finally say NO! STOP! (I) have finally had enough! And only then are we willing to wake up and change. As a society of human beings, we have not had enough. The many continue act towards one another fear, anger, hate, violence in one form or another. Not only do they deny love, but they refuse to share and assist the many with even the basic necessities that are required for living. I recall my own father telling me that those people living in those third world countries working for sweat shops made a good wage. Perhaps those who "think" they make a good wage, should go over there and live the way they do for a year. Then let's see what non-sense comes out of their mouths.

I am saddened to watch our government leaders, all who are quite well off, spending the hard earned money of the citizens to make billions of profits for themselves. They don't care who they destroy to do it or how they go about doing it, as long as it pays off for them. They have no morals whatsoever because they are completely out of touch with their own humanness beyond "thinking," about what it means. They live so detached from the greater reality of which the many suffer. I believe they ignore those in pain and suffering because they are tormented by their own, which requires them like a wounded beast to take it out on someone else, as if the other is the cause of it.

Their own  pain motivates them to struggle more and more to gather more money, property, prestige, control and power with the hopes of gaining some external vision/value of their self-worth. This attempt at immortality is a lost cause because it is not something one does it is what one is already within without having to do anything but Be. This is so simple so profound that it is overlooked by the insane ego as utterly absurd. It is what keeps us going day after day in utter mindless madness lashing out at the world as if it is the cause of our pain and suffering.

Our pain and suffering comes from hating who and what we are as spiritual beings and until we come to terms with this, the many will continue to destroy and judge. Armageddon has been going on for a long time and it continues to worsen until we either wake up from the insanity of egoic intellectual living that excludes the heart or we destroy ourselves to continue to create ever more madness and suffering until we we've finally had enough. One cannot escape this onslaught of insanity because it is the essence of denying what is, and that is in being present that we realize we are enough, that we are enough in Being who we truly are. Not the cultural version of being politically and religiously correct, but just being pure Being.

If this seems absurd to you, then ignore these words and continue on as if everything is fine. One can escape the now for only so long, but then one inevitably comes to the end of this life time, where one has to face their death. All those things you accrued, the property, money, deeds, titles are not going to go with you. What will go with you is what you did denying your own Being and what you did to stop others from Being. That's the sum total of what you get to take with you. How well did you love yourself and others?

1.15.08 - I've been pondering this whole thing about how we live or rather how we really don't live. Most of humanity lives in the past for the most part and the rest of the time in the future, with maybe a sliver of some in the present. It's funny and yet sad how obsessed we are about the past. This sense of holding onto past memories or what was with such a strangle hold that people have no way to accept the presents of now. The many languish over getting older or losing a lover or how things used to be, constantly comparing what was with what should be now, but isn't. There's no room for now with that death grip most have with what was. It is this grotesque worshipping of the past as if it were a GOD, and this is true for the most part. 

We make a GOD of rules, rituals, as if things never change, and yet change is all that exists in the world. Change is constantly unfolding as more information is gathered and more awareness is gleaned from the wisdom of presence. This is what consciousness is, ever unfolding its love for the essential change that unfolds in the infinite flowing of eternity in moments like this. The many cling to the past because they are frightened of the future holds, frightened of what spirit will ask of them to express in their fragile human forms of matter that have been created by Divine Beings for spirits to inhabit and dance forth upon incredible worlds scattered across the Universe like pollen on a windy day.

Sometimes I wonder if it is regret that creates the basic ego and yet that isn't really true, because what is at the core of all of us is but a splinter of Divine Being, an essence of the Oneness, that seeks to express an aspect of the Divine One. We are all One together as a family of unique expressions of Love, because that is what the Divine is. But, we lose sight of this and how does one live up to the realization that one is a child of the Divine One. I use the word One here as a plural because the Divine is far beyond what we could conceive of as a single being.

I have had moments of this Divine One and am left with no words to describe the utter disbelief of not being able to grasp the wholeness of it, accept for the sheer awe and respect of  Divine Wonder that emanates from the depths of my Being. I find a loss of words at the extreme sorrow at how my brothers and sisters argue and fight over the senseless ridiculousness of superficial masks and facades that cover over the Divine Light beneath the flesh and bone of animal that hosts our spirits while we walk in this realm for a short time.

We profess to want to live, we say we care, and we spend vast amounts of time analyzing, researching, and categorizing facts to dispel our anxiety of having to admit that what we know is but a drop of dust in a vastness that would engulf us in an instant. And perhaps that is why the many run around at break neck speed trying to avoid knowing directly the Divine presence within. Because once one has been visited upon by this presence, your life no longer matters in the scheme of minute shenanigans of money, property, titles, and power.

One is suddenly left to realize the real shame at the sham of pretending to be not spirit, to be something better than someone for the sheer sake of avoiding response-ability to love. Love is not for the faint hearted, at least that is what is said, but words are always empty unless moved by spirit. I guess that is why most of the scientific and academic world, to include politics, religion, and law are so caustically boring, for they bear no spirit uplifting them to truly look beyond their own personal limitations of what they "think." Thinking without heart is like living in perpetual darkness without the sun shining in.

I watch people on a daily basis going about their lives as if in the throes of death, because they truly are not present, which is to say they are not alive. Being alive is Being, and it is having one's arms and heart open to embrace life as it unfolds in every single moment. The many have lost the ability to appreciate their own wonder at just Being without needing to be rewarded for it, because Being is the reward. I know this will sound absurd to many, but one can only appreciate this and understand it upon relinquishing the need to know.

There is a knowingness beyond thinking, a process that occurs beyond the rational mind that is far superior to anything humans could comprehend in left-brain mode. The vastness of this realization is so staggering that it takes time to comprehend. Being in itself is a letting go to the vast organic living consciousness we call the Divine or GOD. Each of is Being and has Being, and yet we are multiple Beings that unfold in profound ways. 

Science likes us to think of cells as separate, with different parts that function to make the cell. Our own separateness or lack of awareness of Being connected to the Divine or Oneness has cost us the awareness of realizing that we are not separate, that cells indeed are not separate, but create from themselves to unfold into each Divine human being that is born. The Divine is like the human body if you will, where everything comes together to work in harmony to create this most wondrous body, and it is this same process of cells creating every living sentient Being on this planet. Yet life goes far beyond this realm of cellular life, because life is even smaller than that, beyond even what science can gaze upon with any of their machines.

Life, the living essence, is what is behind each and everyone of us. Our bodies are teeming with an abundance of life that is busy creating all the essential aspects of what allows us to be here on this planet at this period of time. Each person has this life essence teeming in them, and yet we spend most of our waking time avoiding Being aware of this Divine essence. It is as if we are frightened of truly knowing who and what we are and where we've come from and where we will go upon our exit from the stage of life.

What purpose does it serve to avoid this incredible living essence that is beautiful beyond any cultural rendition of beauty? Look at how we carry on about so many irrelevant things. We care more for our belongings and our ideologies than we do for our brothers and sisters. It is like living one's life from a book, a script, devoid of ever having to look the other in the eye with an open heart and open arms. Like movies, our lives are scripted, thought out before hand and lived to the rule. Others are the directors and movie critics who decide where the cuts are going to occur, what is going to be allowed to be presented as the movie of life. Always a select few think they can decide what life is going to be and what its value is. How profoundly empty and sad.

Love shines from every aspect of matter, because it is the Divine itself that is doing the shining. Love never stops shining at all and it is the great turning away from the light that causes such epic suffering and pain. I have had moments where I have experienced the vastness of life on this planet and in the Universe within. In those moments I am hard pressed to understand how the many can be so far removed from the Divine presence within. And perhaps needing to know is the problem, that all that matters is loving without limits. Perhaps the idea of loving without limits is what limits us, and perhaps it is the fear of merging with the Divine and losing our individuated sense of self that is the problem.

The irony of this is not lost, because one really doesn't lose any aspect of their essence, because we each are uniquely created piece of a vast puzzle, and cannot lose our Divine uniqueness, because if we did, the Oneness would not BE. So, this is something to contemplate on as one loosens the chains that bind them in fear, so as to experience one's birth right. The fullness of this experience is exquisite and leads to the realization that life without Divine Light is worthless.

I am reminded of my workshop with Judyth Weaver last July 07', where we were given the opportunity to experience movement without an awful lot of rules. While being guided outdoors from inside, we were encouraged to stay as present as possible without talking, as well as going as slow as possible with our eyes closed. We were led outside, using our hands and feet to guide our way down the stairs and outdoors. One had the freedom to do this or not, and to open their eyes to ensure their own comfort if they so chose. At some point, we all got out onto a small grass area. We were told to just find something to gaze upon and allow whatever came to us to arise. 

I found this one lone clover flower which I stood near and gazed at it for ten or fifteen minutes. At some point, I suddenly had this opening in my awareness, in my consciousness, where I suddenly experienced the essence of the flower. Suddenly this incredible joy surfaced in me that was so incredible. In that moment it dawned on me that this is what young children experience all the time. When we can relinquish our cognitive judgments that describe the experience as thoughts and labels, then we are able to experience the essence or the spirit of the flower or whatever else we are experience.

This is the magic we lose when we are caught up in categorizing experiences and then labeling everything we see with words and definitions. We wind up losing the direct experience of Divine Beauty and Being that is shining through all things. Oddly enough, I recall back in 89', while living as a house mate with someone, who had been babysitting a friends children. The woman was obsessed with the newborn girl and had not bothered to notice that the 3 year old boy had wandered out the front door. I had come down the stairs and notice the front door open. So, I looked out to find him out by the street in the tall grass; or at least it was tall to him, since the tall weeds were up to his waist.

My first response was to react in fear, but something quieted me and I watched. His face was in rapture as he was totally open to the moment in the joy that emanated all around him. At the time I saw his face all lit up, and when he saw me watching quietly, he amazingly lit up even more and ran over to where I was. How sad that it took me all these years to finally understand what it was he accessed so naturally. It is our birth right to experience this incredible joy and yet it is stifled out of us for rather shallow reasons; FEAR.

Our thinking has become a weapon of mass destruction, drawing us away from the fullness of reality into a nightmare of being stuck in our minds, where we cannot escape creating endless fantasy that doesn't allow us to experience the now or to see how destructive our creative thoughts are without awareness. This is truly an illusion of the egoic mind, where we live in delusion, watching TV or a movie on a screen, thinking it is real life. This is how the many go through life. Just as someone can sit in a movie theater and react to the movie as if it is real, this is how we are in life. We have lost touch with being able to know the difference between fantasy and reality.

Fantasy is losing contact with Being, where as reality is Being in touch with the essence of Love. Fantasy is the looking anywhere but at the present, to avoid Being at all cost. Fantasy by itself is worthless and destructive. Being Requires fantasy in order to create, but fantasy without Being is like a nuclear bomb going off, literally destroying everything in its path. I'm sure there are many who would disagree with this, but all one need do is look around. For all the technological wonder and all that has been created, is but primitive without the fullness of Being to direct with love from the Divine.

All that we do is tainted when we do not honor our Divine Being within that is truly is the one that channels Divine creative consciousness through us. What does come through our tightly closed minds is barren, cold, and black and white. If we were to open our hearts, the incredible beauty and wisdom would create a veritable paradise. Ironically, egoic minds don't want that, for selfish reasons, and selfishness is nothing more than fear. Fear of love as I said. The many pretend to be  content, but underneath all that hoo-ha ha is a hollowness filled with pain and suffering, a pride that is unwilling to admit that the egoic mind is not GOD and cannot ever be GOD. So the story goes...

To BE or not to be...


1.16.08 - 



Here's a video link to other sentient Beings on the planet Check out the additional ones and then go to the page of the Oceana Project to interact with other information. I found myself getting emotional watching these because the many still don't get it as we continue to destroy other Beings habitats. We drive them off and or to extinction, just as we have done with most of the indigenous peoples, somehow thinking they are irrelevant and in the way of progress. Progress? The only thing we have been progressing towards is more insanity:


Also, here's a video by artist Alex Grey


Check out the other 30 of his videos at


1.17.08 - I want to be clear that I consider myself religious, which is From the Latin religio, "respect for what is sacred." Most religions have been driven to move away from everything being sacred to only particularly relevant things that support ideologies. There is a distinction in this regarding what I would call conditional sacredness. This would be a turning away from complete self-respect to respecting all life as sacred, much as most indigenous cultures believe.

If you look back at history you can understand the clashing of ideologies in Christian religion that ironically still clash as of this moment.,_eius_religio. Even then as now, is the struggle for right and wrong. Ironically, it is observing Nature that we can witness the lack of this struggle. There is a flow of change that is always seeking balance. One species of trees doesn't despise another species, nor one animal hate another one. The earth, water, air, and minerals all work complimentary to one another as they etch and form the Earth in ways that support life. And by this I do not mean the sort of secure life that allows for only human survival. We are all in this mosaic of Oneness that is essential for harmony. Anything other than this is being out of touch with one's Being.

Nobody else can tell you what is sacred period. This is what has led us away from the Divine state of Being to the shambles of insanity that we live by. Back in the late 90's, I had an inner experience where it was made clear to me that our world was moving towards a systems shutdown. It was made clear to me that the many were continuing to avoid looking at the trauma and damage they were imposing upon the planet, others, as well as themselves. With images shown, it dawned on me they were explaining it based on systems theory, where all parts are connected. Our bodies work the same way, and if we continue to ignore obvious problems, then the body shuts down. If we avoid sleep, the body will shut us down. This process is beginning to occur and will continue to do so, should insane humans continue to run roughshod over others and the planet. All are living organisms and in many regards, humans are only intelligent and wise relevant to their level of sanity.

I received an email with a link to Barbara Marx Hubbard's new movie, "Humanity Ascending:" Here is more videos of Barbara speaking on YouTube

Another excellent movie to check out is "Blessed Unrest" by Paul Hawken, which the video trailer can be seen on his website

Another site is by Duane Elgin, who has numerous videos to watch in regards to waking up: 

Another website by Riane Eisler, who has excellent articles under the media link on her page at I highly recommend her article "Sex, Spirituality, and Evolution

Are We Victims to the Beast Within?" This particular article touches on how the military mirrors what most children endure growing up. Having been through Army basic training, I realize she is so right about this.


Also, check out Daniel Pinchbeck's site on his book "Breaking Open The Head:" 


And a link to a site called Religious Tolerance at  



1.18.08 - I spent a few hours today in the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest, off of state route 20 east, where there's a 500 year old ancient forest. The bridge was out, so I couldn't get back to them. I was disappointed, but managed to see some great sights. On the way out, I noticed this one large tree standing way up higher than the others. So, I quick backed up and realized I'd found an old Douglas Fir. I got excited, tossed on my cold weather gear and hiked down in the snow. This was fun because there were fallen trees all over the place, small streams with snow run off, deep snow, where every so often I would plunge down. Snow shoes would've been helpful, but it was fun sliding down the short slopes on my ass and when I was almost to the tree, I realized I made better progress crawling on my hands and knees. Heck, I remembered doing this when I was a boy, and the joy was right there again, as it was back in the 60's.


When I got to the tree, the sheer size of it was just incredible; 6 - 7 feet in diameter and towering 200+ feet high. I've included a smaller image, but if you click on it, you will get the large file. Small pictures just do not give the feel of immensity one experiences or the awe. I remember the first time I saw an ancient Cedar tree and it was like 10 feet in diameter and towered over all the other trees along the highway. To say I was shocked was an understatement. This one was smaller, yet still stunned me and left me tingling with joy. This is the power of Nature.



I wound up staying for some time, communing with the tree. conifer trees are excellent for cleansing your energy fields. The older they are the more powerful their energy. My acupuncturist was telling me today about her time in China while learning Chinese medicine. There was an old Ginko tree that was over a 1,000 years old that she had the opportunity to do energy work with, utilizing Qi-gong techniques. Not soon after that, the Chinese Army came and cut the tree down because the local residents went to the tree all the time for healing. To think of the sort of mindset that exists that would cut down something that old and wise.


This story makes me think about what we do here in the U.S. and what other corporations are doing cutting down the Rain Forests. Trees are much more than fodder for our paper and wood needs. They are energy conduits for the Earth, air purifiers, and Beings with knowledge if you know how to ask and can get your mind clear enough to hear. It is why there are those who desire to cut down all the old growth forests, because they are aware that those forests radiate the incredible energetic power that we all have within us if we are conscious. These old forests can trigger an awakening of our consciousness and heal us. If you have ever been to one or even to a forest in general, you will understand what I am talking about.


Check out this link that discusses the oldest trees in the world right here in the U.S. and others as well:


There are some forests around Bellingham, WA that I have hiked, and particular areas within them that upon entering, I can feel a shift in energy, there is a strong presence that is felt in this incredible deep stillness. I'm extremely sensitive to energies and when I sense these places, I stop and get still and quiet internally and become receptive to inner images or thoughts that arise. You'd be surprised at the level of wisdom they possess, far more than what humans are capable of at present. Here's a link related to trees 


Here's a link to a site that has information about Dorothy Maclean in regards to trees: Dorothy is one of the founding members of Findhorn: 


I also want to say a bit more about dreams. Dreams are much more than just about oneself. They can offer an incredible amount of information about many things; friends, work, past, future, past lives, problem solving, health issues etc. I started doing acupuncture back in 2001 during the worst of my kundalini opening. I was quite startled to feel energy move along one of my blocked meridians, which opened up a whole new door of awareness for me about the human energy system, comparable with the kundalini energy as well. It wasn't until 2003, after a car accident, that I began to get acupuncture treatments weekly for quite a few months, which helped a great deal. I recall having one dream with these interesting symbols of people on skis, connected by a rope going into a room and looping around in a J shape to the left side of the room as the entered the room. I had some background in acupuncture and asked the practitioner if there were any meridians shaped that way. Ironically, there was and I asked her to needle them, which she did. 


A couple of days ago I had another one of those interesting dreams with someone who had numerous items grouped in an area. I went in for my acupuncture appointment this morning and mentioned the dream to my current practitioner, asking her if there were points there. Sure enough there was, and I asked her if she would needle them. What the points were about and the effects that occurred with my energy system was just amazing. There is a higher consciousness that streams down from our higher self, from the Divine, that offers us a continual flow of information, ideas, possibilities, healing modalities and more via dream time. It takes time to figure out this language, because it is uniquely tailored for each individual based on their experiences. Yes, dreams do contain aspects relating to your own issues and development, but they are not all about you.


I had classes with Jeremy Taylor, a noted dream worker/teacher for thirty some years, while attending Naropa University - Oakland campus. His belief was then as it is now that dreams are all about our self. I tried to explain dreams I'd had telling me about the sex of my nephews before anyone knew and about when they were being born, as well an aunt passing away. He seemed to be oblivious to this or else it just didn't fit into his belief system. At this point in time, I am not interested in what others think dreams are. I know for my own self that they share information I need for my own healing, others, show me things about what is going on in the world, teach me things about my own awakening process, as well as access to other dimensions of existence where we can connect with healers, teachers, and others who assist us in our transformations. 


It is through dreams I found out a friend was thinking of killing himself and thankfully I contacted him to inquire how things were going. He didn't acknowledge this at the time, but did later on. There's a whole super highway of information going on within us. Some of us can be adept at tapping into this stream and using it for healing ourselves and others in ways that are light years beyond what current awareness understands. Pay attention and you will learn some amazing things that will assist you in growing, changing, healing, and understanding who you are and what you are here to do.


The last year I have had a great deal of past life remembrance being revealed via dreams. This has helped me to heal some issues that I had thought were related to this lifetime, but in actuality were past lifetimes. Dream time is GOD's forgotten language, a symbolic language that is beyond spoken words, which is not to say that dreams can't have people in them who speak, because they do. But, in general, dream characters and symbols are all relevant to what they mean to you. Those mainstream dream dictionaries are worthless for the most part. Each person has experiences relating to their dream symbols, and you have to figure out what those are. Some such as a kitchen or dining room can be about those rooms but also about what they represent in real life. For example a living room in a dream is waking reality. There are also other nuances that need to be noticed and understood. Good luck! I'll see if I can write more about this at some point soon.



1.19.08 -  If you haven't heard of check out this link which discusses what its about. It's a not for profit site that is amazing. 



1.20.08 - An excellent article entitled "The Red Sea Is Your Blood," by Alvin Boyd Kuhn:


"A lifetime devoted unremittingly to the study of the ancient backgrounds of our modern Western religion has established beyond all possibility of error the conviction that the great Scriptures of antiquity on which our Occidental faiths have been built up have had a remote Egyptian origin."


The present treatise is an attempt to justify the truth of this statement by the revelation of the recondite significance covertly adumbrated in one of the most prominent of such archaic symbols found in the Bibles of both Judaism and Christianity,--the Red Sea.


Studied through the lens of a larger vision and a deeper understanding, it should, and eventually will be seen, to release the power of a new and far more vital message for the two religions that have harbored, all unsuspectingly, the hidden dynamic of this archaic construction of semantic genius. This revelation of the cryptic significance of the Red Sea in its Bible usage could inaugurate another, and the most thoroughgoing, reformation in Judaism and Christianity since the ancient days of their origin. It could engender a New Enlightenment in the life of religion and spiritual culture not only in the West, but in the world at large." - Alvin Boyd Kuhn The Red Sea Is Your Blood 




1.22.08 - I read this article today on how ex-Palestinian fighters and ex-Israeli soldiers have come together to bring peace between the two. The article is sobering, because it moves beyond the superficial stories you hear in the news, which are geared towards supporting good/bad perspectives. Violence is violence, and more violence is not going to solve violence. Fear is at the root of this violence, a fear that arises from egos. It is ironic that both profess to be religious, and yet both react with anything but the love that their religion professes to preach. Here is the link to Combatants For Peace, and ironically, the name they chose for their group almost supports more violence.


what arose for me reading the article is the helpless those being oppressed feel, with no where to go, no real opportunities, or freedom for that matter, living in a military state/zone by your oppressors. One of the Palestinian's interviewed lost his 10 yr old daughter, who was shot in the forehead by a passing Israeli soldier in a group of soldiers. Ironically, the Israeli Army did nothing about looking into the killing and the case was closed. From my own perspective, the Israeli's are doing the same thing that was done to them in Nazi Germany, part of their own unhealed trauma to repeat what was done to them via projection.


And the U.S. leaders who profess to be about peace, who support Israel with billions in military aid/equipment, and give them the freedom to do whatever they want to others, and turning their backs to the violence and killing. The truth of the matter is that Bush, his cabinet, and those in the House, and Senate approve of this sort of insanity, because if they didn't, they would immediately do something about it. Their words do not support their actions or lack of them. They have an agenda, and violence is one of the key elements in continuing to create conflict, resistance, and hatred. There is no end to it, and any plans the Israeli and U.S. government had is at best a joke. They are not interested in a win/win situation; its about greed, power, and hate.


You might think these harsh words, but this is the truth, for if it were about love, one would see love in action.


I've been doing a lot of reflection of our government's hand in many atrocities around the world, supporting dictators with money, weapons, and training on how to kill, maim, torture, kill, and put fear into people. And this is from those who profess to be leaders of a democratic government. They are insane. With yesterday being Martin Luther King day, I am reminded of those in Church and State who hated blacks, who supported racism, sexism, violence, and denying them right to be respected as human beings, let alone being able to support themselves here.


Little by little, this nation of wave after wave of immigrants, came here seeking refuge from pain and suffering, only to perpetuate pain and suffering onto the native peoples who were already living here. I was reading that Native religious beliefs were outlawed by the government until recently.


I find those who profess this country to be a Christian country, quite ignorant in their choosing to believe their way is the only way to GOD. If one used the innate intelligence that is GOD given, one would realize that all religions arose from someone's inner experience with spirit. It would make intelligent sense that men AND women any where in the world would have an inner experience with spirit. Given this intelligent understanding, one would then come to realize that wherever those males or females were in the world, their culture/language would explain their inner experience according to their reality, just as it does for white people. The difference is how one explains their experience and ideas of Spirit. And there lies the rub; everyone believing their view is the only right view.


This is short sighted egoic thinking, because common sense would dictate that there would be different ways to describe spirit based on one's cultural software. How arrogant of people to judge others views as right or wrong and then to force others to abide by their beliefs. And this is how the world has mostly operated for a long time. It might be said it was all about spirit, but in reality it was about greed, power, and control. Perhaps its time to take a hard look at what it is each of us believes in and why. Where did we learn what we believe and have we bothered to take the time to do some serious deep inner work as to the validity of those chosen beliefs; because they are chosen.


I have been reading a bit about individuals who profess that most Americans are ignorant of the Bible, and they believe it should be taught in school, so that people understand it. Yet, this is the same mania of forcing others to abide by what they think people should know. I don't think the problem is the educational system, because common sense, which seems to have been discarded here, would point out that it is not schools that teach the bible, its the Churches. Given the many different denominations, all professing to know the truth of GOD, that there is an upheaval about interpretations. And sine when is it the responsibility of schools to teach the bible. And who says that Christianity should be the one and only religion to be taught? Quite frankly, it is not spirit they are interested in, it is about dogma. If it were about love, then love would be the main focus.


Reading a book is not love, nor is going to church, nor is sitting listening to someone talk about what the various authors of the bible wrote. Love is not a subject to discuss, it is something one expresses via their Being. If one loves themselves, then they love others and see no need to force others to believe what they believe. All the religions profess to be about love, so then what is stopping all the different religious leaders from coming together in that love and building peace, love, community, and respect? Actions speak louder than words...


Quite frankly, those who are in turmoil about their religious beliefs are frightened of having to look at themselves, those who think they are above others are oblivious of their inability to love unconditionally. This same person who  thought the bible should be taught in school, also thought the presidential candidates should be talking about their religious beliefs on their campaigns. At this point, there is no difference in terms of those who don't talk about their religious beliefs and those who do. Either way, business in government will continue on unabated with greed, power, and control at the forefront of any actions or inactions here and abroad. Religion is just another article of clothing that the egoic personality wears for the sake of illusions.


How does one live in a world surrounded by insane people who force you to abdicate your sovereignty and Being for their intellectualized version of conditional love? Ponder on the fate of the many of all walks of life on this planet who were forced one way or another to abide by another's rules. Ponder on what happened to them if they refused. Our history is full of what happened to them. The truth of what happened in history was falsified by the victor's, by the rule makers, who justified their actions, in most cases creating lies that supported their own insane beliefs. How Christians spoke of the savages, is nothing more than their own projection of the savagery they acted upon others...


If you want your freedom, the understand that true freedom arises from educating yourself and thinking for yourself, questioning everything you believe to be true. This requires work, requires self-reflection, paying attention to feelings. Watching TV is not truth, nor are those who do the programming interested in real truth. The same goes for government. If those in power were truly interested in truth, there would be no secrets. The quantity of truth and knowledge kept secret is indicative of the level of dishonesty and lack of integrity. The fact that those at the top live quite well, get paid quite well, and have the best health benefits available at the expense of the tax payers, while the many don't do so well, is indicative of this dishonesty and lack of integrity.


The truth will set you free; free from believing whatever spews out from the mouths of those in Church and State and elsewhere. When one starts to listen to their own heart, their own conscience, they begin to realize how out of balance the world is. All one needs to know will be revealed within if they spend the time to exercise their right to do so. One needs no permission from anyone to do this.


I'll end with a link to some of Mark Twain's quotes



1.24.08 - I want to encourage everyone to check out this site: for a new video entitled Sex: "The Secret Gate to Eden: Alchemy, Tantra, and Kabbalah in the Mysteries of Adam and Eve."


The website offers a preview to the movie, as well as additional YouTube videos, six altogether, though they only have four showing on their site. Here's the link to YouTube:



A great link to an organization called The Center For Public Integrity has brought to light all the lies from the Bush Administration. The numbers are staggering when you look at them. This is our so called democratic government at work with supposed leaders who profess to uphold such ideals.


Also check out, because it puts perspective on one's life and their own silly concerns, while elsewhere, there is a person, usually a child, who dies every 3.5 seconds. Not because there isn't enough, but because there is too much egoic non-sense in the world. Like George Bush telling us he cares about children, will in fact stand up and do something about abortion, but turn his back on those children who die from hunger, as well as refuse to support extra monies in the budget to ensure medical insurance for low income children. George and his "friends" would rather discuss the merits of who amongst the poor is in need, (basically a very rich man, surrounded by very rich people), and getting to decide how poor one has to be to be given assistance by the rich who run this country. 


Not only is this absurd, but its the tax payer's monies these rich people get to spend as they see fit, with very little say from the tax payers in general. This is a form of sickness, a spiritual sickness, and I don't suspect his brand of Christianity is going to save him from his insanity, nor is it saving those who fall to the way side.


My issue with religion in general is when they "think" they have the right to tell others how to Be. There idea of being is lower case letters, because it is all based on intellectual ideas of what is right and wrong. I've already explained this numerous times; read Tolle's book as well as the many other individuals who are saying the same things. If you use your religious beliefs to uplift and assist others in finding their own inner truth and connection to spirit, then that's great, But, in general, if you are assisting others with the intention that they will come to your side to roost, then that is an egoic problem. Spirit isn't on anyone's side, in fact it doesn't need sides, because spirit is in all things. It is only unconscious human beings who cannot, will not see this; feel this...


And I don't agree with those who continue to go on about all the Christian or other religious mystics of the past, as if there are no mystics these days in the now. There's a place for it, but to focus on them to the exclusion of actually assisting others in having their own mystical experiences/openings, now that is a greater gift, a greater focus of energy. I've been having experiences like that for a long time, long before I even realized what the heck they were. And slowly I became aware that there were others who had these things, and still no one was able to direct me in a manner that made sense of what was occurring and why. It's only been the last several years that it has dawned on me why, as the pieces have come together.


To say this has been challenging is an understatement, and had it not been for what I learned in basic training (determination, motivation, concentration, and discipline), I would probably be dead. I met a lot of supposed people who were academically or spiritually in the know with credentials from institutions, but they really had no idea what the hell I was going through, nor did they bother to offer at least some direction towards someone who might know. Either way, their ignorance is not lost on me these days, especially when I still run into them or hear about them going on with their presentations to life as if they know what they are doing. I spent $20,000+ learning a very hard lesson in that regard, money that in hindsight would've been better spent doing a whole lot of body work and experiential workshops. But hindsight is 50/50 they say and it is true.


Your errors and mistakes are essential on the path to getting reconnected to your sense of Being. Asking questions, questioning the authorities/teachers, following your curiosity and inquisitiveness, along with developing your ability to trust your feelings and intuition, will greatly assist you in your endeavors to weed out those who know what they are talking about from the heart and those who intellectually know. And it is possible to know some of the inner life, but still be dominated by one's intellect. And there is assuredly something to be said about those who have overly developed psychic abilities and who use them against others and as a badge as if that is what being spiritual is. Psychic abilities are small bit of what the larger aspects of spirituality is. I've had my share of people who I know, who have used their abilities unconsciously and consciously to circumvent others growth and development. You hear stories about this sort of thing, but when you experience it, you begin to realize how distorted those individuals are.


We are far more than we have been taught or imagined ourselves to be. I would encourage you to begin to question everything you have been taught. Others do not know what is best for you. Only you know what is best for your own development. And that is not to say you get to walk over others, disrespect them or do any of the egoic dances with them. True freedom is about learning who you truly are and releasing that into the world, fully loving your Being unconditionally as you free yourself from the constraints of others.


Let it shine.



1.25.08 - I received notice in the mail today of the upcoming Sufism Symposium. You can check out the site of The International Association of Sufism where you will also find a link in regards to Dr. Ali Kianfar and other prominent Muslims who met with his Holiness the Dalai Lama in San Francisco. I don't consider myself any particular religion, but do follow what goes on in all disciplines, as there are those who seek to open their minds and hearts to understand others without judgment. When these types of people come together, there is a meeting of both mind/heart and opportunities occur that wouldn't otherwise. 


One of the articles on the link to the Dali Lama stated, "The main issue of this conference is to provide a platform to teach that there is no room today to say or invest in anything but love..." The article goes on to discuss the challenges of siding with other religions, as if it were to show weakness or selling out their own religious beliefs. It is this sort of insane egoic thinking that refuses to let go of the right and wrong ideology, of which takes one away from love. Ironically, I've been thinking about this problem of focusing on other than love itself. There seems to be words of love, but then the actions themselves support not love but fear.


How can our current leaders profess to be about peace and love, when their very actions are the exact opposite of it? As I alluded to in yesterday's posting, there is the problem of accountability in regards to 900+ lies told about the need to go to war with Iraq. And we are supposed to believe that those still in power are being honest about Iran? I don't think so. There is an old proverb, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me," and yet here are all these people in congress going right along with the charade again. They are not loving people. If they were, they would spend their days creating, enacting, and expressing love into the world. They do not know how to truly care, to love, because they themselves never received it, nor did their parents.


Nothing you own, no titles, or political or religious affiliations have anything to do with love. Being is the only thing that is love, and the only thing that will take you away from it is egoic thinking.


For a long time I couldn't figure out why those in congress continued to ignore the obvious. Things kept getting more ridiculous to the point that it dawned on me that they aren't interested in the truth. On the one hand, I am sure there are some who do understand what is going on, and truly do care and do something about it. But, there are a lot more who have vested interests and truly don't care, because they are right in there living with dishonesty and lack of integrity. Then there are those who are completely and literally ignorant and running on pure egoic non-sense. Greed and power are the agendas in the hallowed halls and they are maintained above all else. They care only for themselves and their friends. This is ego at its best.


Look at how entrenched the system is. The whole system is rotten to the core. The only thing it is good for is serving the self-interests of those who occupy the high positions. They make the rules and keep everyone else in the dark about what is going on. All one need do is to notice how much of a struggle it is, in this supposed democracy, to get honest answers about what is going on. We the people are treated like we are enemies of the state, and are basically lied to regularly. We are told everything but the truth. Vast amounts of money are spent to manipulate the masses into what the truth is. Everything that is done is carefully crafted as to ensure the most possible manipulation in their favor.


They are above being accountable. The House and Senate at this point in time are worthless in regards to checks and balances. There is absolutely no one who stands in their way except the citizens of this country. If you have been paying attention, you will have noticed that it was the Justice Dept. that crafted the legal documents condoning torture. Everyone on board  supported it and condoned it all the way to the top. And nothing was done about it except to let fallout go down to the lowest common denominator for punishment. That's the sort of dysfunction that permeates our government. The structures get bigger and more dominating until they begin to move further and further away from democracy.


The only true freedom is that which arises from listening to one's heart; BEING. The rest arises from egoic mindset at work creating illusions. I was walking around downtown Bellingham last night and saw a lone person sleeping on a bench in a sleeping bag with their one luggage of belongings near their head. Mind you it was in the low 20's last night. We could dismiss this, and many do, by saying they aren't trying hard enough, but it goes beyond those simple egoic notions; and that is what the system will tell us is the problem. The problem has to do with the quality of life, it has to do with the many who have been brainwashed into "thinking" the way they live is authentic and wonderful. But, the truth of the matter is that is a dependent on right and wrong thinking and material goods, as well as conditional love; fear.


At some point, some people begin to realize how futile life is based on the current rules of engagement. They are unable to see further to find a way out of the endless mindless egoic pursuits. But, the do know how stifling it is and seek the only thing they can understand, which from a lower chakra point of base survival, which is to avoid the system. Do you honestly think one would willingly sleep in 20 degree weather if there were other more viable options? What are the options? Those in government and religion believe they need to be saved from themselves and taught how to be a  productive citizen. In other words, they need to be brainwashed into playing the game the way it currently is. But this is a losing battle because they know the game is flawed and loaded.


They are not interested in pretending or putting up with the dysfunctional behaviors that the many called "normal." In fact what is normal is so far from normal that it is sickening. Our culture, our society, and most of the entrenched structures in it, are not authentic, nor are they rooted in honesty and integrity. This is the most difficult thing to see, because as children we were systematically forced to submit to being brainwashed. Most had their spiritual wills broken, and believed what they were taught in order to avoid pain and suffering. Education as we know it is brainwashing, except for those who move beyond the academic intellectualism that  permeates its boundaries.


Anyone who drops out of the system is seen as having a problem. The only problem they have is they are sick and tired of the game. And one can begin to look around in the world to see a whole bunch of miserable or uptight people, as well as an incredible amount of addictions that permeate every area of our societies and cultures from top to bottom. The funny part of this is if one speaks up about it or refuses to participate, they are seen as having a problem, and are ostracized, avoided, stigmatized, belittled, harassed, labeled, and judged. The gate keepers and key masters ensure they have no access to making any meaningful changes.


But, the good news is that spirit knows where the doors are and how to open them. No matter how entrenched systems get, it knows how to bring the house of cards down. They in fact are houses of cards, and the only thing that keeps them going is getting everyone to buy into the charade; hence the need to force others into obedience and silence. I heard someone yesterday allude to the U.S. being a nation that is ruled by tyranny, that uses psychological manipulation to form individuals into obedient slaves to the system. Look around you, and tell me how much love you see? Not the culturally condoned conditional stuff, but the real unconditional love?


This game is coming to an end, not because I say so, but because more and more people are finally getting tired of the game, of the terrible toll it takes on our well-being. We are spiritual beings and we did not come here to this planet to be slaves to the system. Each of us came here with spiritual gifts to express into the world, to bring love and light into the plague that has been polluting this planet for ages. We are not meant to work 40+ hours a week slaving away in a cubicle or factory for the rest of our lives. Our creative endeavors were not meant to be owned by corporate owners and stockholders. As spiritual beings we didn't come here to sign on the dotted line to stifle and imprison our authentic self, just because the many are frightened of true love and light.


There are ways to wake up and get free of this non-sense and to do it without playing by the same dysfunctional rules. Each has to realize that the only thing that keeps the system going is everyone being asleep at the wheel as to how the game is played. If they believe what they are told and follow obediently, then the game continues at their expense. Even if you have loads of money, it truly is worthless and empty if you are not connected to your own divine Being within. In essence, one who's Being is stifled is insane no matter what they might think they have in place of it.


The first order of business is to realize what the rules of the game are. It's important to find others who realize this or are in state of questioning it. It's important to begin understanding the undeveloped abilities that lay dormant within. This is why it is important to access your authentic Being, is because it is here that you access your true spiritual gifts that will lead you out of the pain and suffering that we accept as normal. One must understand that this is going to be hard to do. Why? Because we have spent a lot of time and creative energy forcing ourselves to forget, as well as going to war against anything that arises within that is authentic. This is where self-hatred arises and why it spills out into the world as insanity. When we deny who we truly are within, then we have to deny it, avoid it, hate it, imprisonment, and isolate it till it out of sight, out of mind; this is what brainwashing is, what cultural conditioning is all about. Imprisonment of spirit.


When we begin to realize these things, it is important to start working at freeing our selves. This is where self-learning comes into play, because the system is stuck in doing things the same old way. The issue is about control, fear of the unknown, and the need for security; security is an illusion. Those who control others are not living to their highest potential, because if they were, they would be looking within to see what it is that is motivating them to control others. If they were to look within, you would begin to realize what it is that is distressed. Being reveals what not-being hides.


I believe this goes all the way up the scale of consciousness, even beyond what we can conceive of, because I am sure there are technologically advanced cultures elsewhere in the universe, who may be more than we could ever conceive, yet their need to control others is indicative of not willing to entertain the deeper realms within their Being. Consciousness itself is always having to let go, because letting go in Oneness is the ultimate challenge; this is what creativity is at its core essence.  


The power to create comes from letting go of preconceived notions. There are forces within your Being that are far greater than anything we have conceived on this planet at this time from our limited egoic viewpoint. The external world you perceive is a symbolic reflection of what is going on within you. Stretch your mind, let go and play with this. Everything that is currently running externally in the world is replicating what is going on within our minds. Government is operating just as our own egoic mind (government) is controlling us. The same for religion, corporations, friends, Nature, etc.


So, here's something to watch that will stretch your mind, because there is a lot out there/in there to open too, and it is just the beginning of your potential to BE. And I speak from having my own inner experiences. There is more to us than you could even imagine. Once you have that experience, the world you know or thought you knew, begins to fall away because it cannot hold up to the truth of a greater perspective. Once you open the box and peek out, your delusion is shattered, or egos delusion that has kept you imprisoned, can no longer hide the truth from you. This is why feelings and emotions are so powerful, because if you can begin to understand them, open up to them, you will begin the process of experience life/reality beyond egoic thinking. 


I found this link to a site called TED Ideas Worth Spreading: Inspired talks by the world's greatest thinkers and doers. Here's two links I found that were wonderful:



1.27.08 -


Yesterday I spent the day at a workshop with Dorothy Maclean on "Tuning In To and Co-operating With Nature's Energies." Here's some links to check on background info for Dorothy 1  as well as Findhorn


One of the exercises we were guided through, dealt with getting relaxed, then recalling and visualizing experiences that were joyful, beautiful, or peaceful. Then we were told to recall as much detail about these memories as possible and visualize them, bringing up feelings, colors, sounds, smells, or anything that would assist in recreating the event in your mind. I started to recall various events I'd had with animals and bringing in as much details as possible. 


My first memory was back in 1998 during the summer, where I ran into a female deer along the bike trail. I was living next door to where a stand of old Firs had been removed for a new high school parking lot. I rode down the trail and saw a deer near it and as I got closer the deer didn't move. In fact, when I pulled up next to it, the deer was about ten feet away. We made eye contact and the next thing I know, I hear in my mind, "They're destroying my environment." I then heard some part of me, perhaps my Being say, "I know, they are destroying my environment too." To say I was startled was an understatement. I think shocked would be a better word. And then she turned and bound into Sehome Hill. I heard that deeper part of myself call out telepathically, "No don't go," and it was at this point I broke down and started to cry. I'd been upset about the trees being cut down and have always been sensitive to the energetic loss of them. I realized later, that the deer used the small stand of firs and ground cover to conceal themselves as they prepared to cross the road to Sehome Hill. The deer come from the forests behind the high school and come across the east side of the school and on into the Firs, then across the road to Sehome Hill. Several nights later around 10pm, I was out late looking over where the trees and been cut down. I walked over to the side of the school and sat on the grass. After awhile, I saw a female deer come through the field with her fawn following behind her. They were about 50 feet away and they both looked at me. Then I saw them look at each other and had the odd sense they were communicating to each other. Because then the fawn turned and slowly walked towards me. I looked back at the mother who had started to graze. The fawn approached and stopped about ten feet away. We looked at each other for five or ten minutes, with the fawn sniffing my essence in the air, and then turned and meandered back to the mother who had gone on to graze. I was emotionally moved by this and felt quite honored at having earned their trust.


My second memory was from Fall 1999. I was a bit further over from where I had seen the deer the year before, working in the garden area of Fairhaven College. The sun was setting and it was hitting the leaves of a huge deciduous tree nearby. I walked around to the other side of the garden area to get a better view of the tree. On my way to the tree, I scanned the area, and noticed this huge bulky thing on a branch over in another small tree, about ten feet off the ground. At first I thought it was large bee hive, but then the top moved and I realized it was an owl. Instantly, I was flying through the air, as if I were on the back of the owl, who flew me further south to show me where it lived and hunted. After a time I was suddenly seeing this owl flying at me with its claws out stretched and then it was gone. I was left standing as if nothing had happened. To say was stunned was an understatement. I looked over and the owl was still over in the tree. I realized later that this was shamanic experience, where the owl telepathically linked to me, showing me where it lived.


My third memory was at Rialto Beach Labor Day 2006. I had a huge inner opening, which had caused me to collapse to the ground, where I sobbed for two hours as I recalled early memories of coming into this planet conscious that I was no longer in my spiritual home, along with other information. When I was done, I was finally able to get up and eventually made my way back to my camp site on the beach. I began to collect fire wood for the night as I processed my opening. After fifteen minutes or so, I heard an eagle screech over head and looking up, saw it land in a nearby tree top. The tree was maybe 50 feet high. I walked up to the tree and we looked at each other for several minutes. I had this strong sense that it had arrived to acknowledge the challenge of the opening I had just gone through. I felt soothed by its presence and then I lay down on the beach, where we continued to look at each other for some time. Eventually I heard people talking as they approached and the eagle flew off.


My fourth memory was the last day I was at Rialto Beach in 2006. I'd hiked back into Ellen's Creek and was standing in the creek barefoot in shorts. Ahead I saw a Blue Heron stalking the water slowly looking for small fish to eat. I was on the other side of this fallen tree, so was blocked from its view. I squatted down and got into a meditative state. I watched the Heron walk around the tree and into view. I was maybe 20 feet away, as it continued to fish, gazing at me every so often. Eventually it started to come around to my side, to where it was maybe 10 feet from me. The Heron turned back, but in a few moments, turned back around and finally made its way past me as it continued to slowly fish. I was able to watch the Heron nab a few fish as it went. I was so thrilled at being trusted by the Heron to be that close to me. Ironically, the day before I had been walking along the creek banks and came across a Heron feather laying on the bank. The beauty of the whole moment was exquisite.


My fifth memory was about all the various birds who'd interacted with me this past year; Hummingbirds, Stellar Jays, Robins, Woodpeckers, and Flickers as they would often come in very close to where I was. In one instance I was mowing the lawn, when a Stellar Jay dropped right down in front of my mower. I stopped and shut off the mower, waiting for some sort of message. A few seconds later, I saw another Stellar Jay land on the side of the nearby apple tree. I watched it enter into a hole in the tree that I hadn't noticed and disappear. Finally the other flew up to the hole and eventually the two of them left. I realized the two of the them were telling me to go within my own self. Trees are spiritual symbols of our Being, and Jays have the ability to move between Heaven and Earth.


So, these were the memories I focused on, and as I grounded myself, I continued to focus on as much details as possible. I began to feel the center of my chest open, beginning to tingle and expand. An example of what this would feel like would be to tighten up your stomach muscles till they are really tight. Then slowly loosen them till the stomach is relaxed and open. This process starts at the level of the physical body, then the physiological level, and then the energetic level. As this continued there was a sense of joy arising, with more expansion, lightness, much like a flower opening to the Sun, like the Sun glowing, shining within, and the stomach chakra was involved here to a degree as well. These types of Nature experiences are high energy states, which open our hearts naturally, and it is this process that is so healing for the many. This is one of the main reasons why the forests and old trees are being cut down.


We were told when we were open to receiving, to ask Spirit to get our mind out of the way so as to hear the message. With my inner eye, I could see within the chest area something akin to an atom in motion. So, I asked what I needed to know. I was wanting to also understand why I don't always get guidance. At some point a cone shape appeared in my inner eye pointing to my right and I could see energy pouring straight out from it. Then this was replaced with another cone facing forward from the center of my chest. Several moments later a dark wall of matter moved towards the cone entry until it blocked the flow of energy.


After a time, an image of an empty crystal wine goblet appeared, which then disappeared and a full one with red wine appeared. A few moments passed and the glass tipped, beginning to pour out its contents. I found myself hesitating to drink from it. I was shown how as a child, I wasn't allowed to drink from this goblet. Think of this as drinking from the well of the heart, listening to the heart, where the sustenance of Being resides, where one goes for guidance, intuition, nourishment, spiritual support.


To explain this further, as children we are intuned to our inner Being. We don't question it, avoid it, negate it, judge it, or stifle it. Being just arises as naturally as the Sun shines. This is what true Being does. We are naturally tuned into this inner space, which one could say is within the chest area, yet when this focal point is open, one can also feel connected to the entire body, inner and outer, as if it were one whole essence, which in fact it is. When one is operating from the mind alone, it is as if all the lights in the house were turned off except the one's on the top floor. One must have all the lights on in the house in order to tap into the higher states of consciousness; think of this as having access to more information, guidance, understanding. As children we naturally operate from this heart space. We eventually run up against the wall of conformity in varying degrees based on our conditioned environment.


As a child, I was gradually corrected to abstain from drinking from my spiritual source within. In time, I was taught to not trust this, to stay out. Think of it as cultural forces putting up a sign that states: KEEP OUT...Every time one tried to drink, there was some adult there to correct us. Over time, this repetitive correcting became habitual until our will was broken, just as horses are broken to be tamed. I learned to trust in the rules and the adults around me for my truth of who I was and what I needed. I learned I didn't get hurt if I followed the rules and avoided Being.


So, spirit then shows me that this inner goblet was always there to drink from, that it never went away, that I just turned away from it, and forgot it was there. I was shown that this inner guidance was always assisting me to guide me along my life path. I could see this in an instant, how I always guided, which eventually brought me to where I am at this present moment. I perceived my hardships as other than loving, and though the journey was difficult and challenging, it was an ongoing process to assist me to waking back up to my inner Being to drink fully all the time again. I realized that I had been running under the delusion that spirit couldn't be trusted, when in fact, it was culture that was not to be trusted, and that I was not trusting my own self, my Being.


When this was done, we shared our process with two others. I realized that when I don't get guidance, its not because spirit is not there to assist, it's that I am not in drinking from the heart, but being conned by the ego that my answers will come in the head. Part of this challenge is that there is an inner void and one can experience this within the head area, but yet it is like a closet, whereas, when one gets into the body, other infinite spaces open up. The heart is a direct link to the Divine, it is our spark of light that is in direct connection to our Divine parents. I have had moments when doing body work, where I could see out the bottoms of my feet into a vast Universe full of stars, just as if one were outside at night looking up at the night sky.


What I learned from this process is tools to open up the heart more fully and to keep it open. I realized I have been in a process of becoming aware of how the egoic mind shuts it down fully or partially depending on triggers from patterns. This is why it is so important to become conscious and recognize our patterns so we can release them to reclaim our Being.


Dorothy then led us through more experiential exercises to make contact with a plant and then a large mineral rock. I was open to this because I have had experiences in the past that just happened. I was open to the process in the past and was able to experience that we in fact are all connected with Nature, it's just that we have closed our hearts and inner senses to Nature. I often go find old evergreen conifers, and meditate with them, sitting up against them. I have gotten excellent wisdom from them. All of life is sentient and conscious, yet it is our conditioning that has taught us this is not so. The Church and State have made it their business to disconnect us from this inner connection to spirit that connects us to experiencing the spirit in all things. When one understands they are hardwired for connection the Divine, then one sees the folly in being led by so called authorities that know better than you do.


Our response-ability is to use the heart to discern truth. We are here with other spiritual beings to work together in community to bring balance and harmony to all aspects of life on this planet. We humans are being guided to wake up to become stewards of this planet and the Universe. A spiritual steward is one who is connected to spirit in Being and is guided by their inner knowing, which is spiritual knowingness. People have this belief that if they surrender to spirit, they will lose their identity. To be honest, Being is our identity, and all that we have been conditioned with is superficial. It is one thing to do something because it saves your life and another to continue doing it when the danger has passed. Traumatizing a newborn infant by cutting off its foreskin is an example of continuing cultural traditions with no conscious awareness. The same can be said about humans who continue to pollute and destroy the very air, water, soil, essential for our survival.


Our survival is contingent on reclaiming our spiritual connection, of logging back into the spiritual  network so to speak. Everything external is secondary to the inner. If one has no primary source then one is not going to go very far on the secondary source. I am reminded of the Star Trek series, where the space ship Enterprise has the main Warp engines, but when they go off-line, they have to rely on the Impulse engines. Warp engines allow one to reach faster than light speeds. Being true spiritual stewards, means we are making decisions based on Being, which arises from self-love and self-respect for ones sovereignty and in turn loving and respecting others and their sovereignty. From this state of Being, true dialogue arises from heart and not egoic needs. Heart needs are based on the good of all, whereas egoic needs are based on better than or more important than the other. All decisions that are not in harmony of every one are not in alignment with spiritual Beingness.


This is going to take time to understand, because so much of what we have been conditioned to believe is based on right and wrong, good and bad, as well as me, my, mine mentality. Sharing is an essential out flowing from Being, since its source emanates from the Oneness of the Divine Universe. We are not separate, any more than Nature is not separate from the Divine. We humans, with a lot of irrelevant help from egoic conditioning, have come to believe we have no roots and are free to roam the planet as we please. We do have roots, very deep roots, that are energetic in nature, that coalesce in the wholeness of what Systems Theory and Whole Systems explain. Even more so, we have deeper roots than this planet that are rooted in our Being. Going within this Being connects us to the greater spaciousness of the Universe within. The outer universe is nothing more than a reflection of the inner universe. I don't see them as separate, but together.


Being stewards is being intuned to our nature, which is Nature, which is Spirit, and this understanding resonates into the vastness of the Universe. The Universe is infinite and it is such that we are one Whole Being, and yet this Being is not singular, not in the way that we humans think of male and female. Most don't pay attention to this, but it is from the female form that arises the male. If one looks at how the sexual organs develop in the fetus, one will realize that the ovaries are the testicles that have emerged out of the body, just as the penis arises from the clitoris. I find it amazing that males have spent a great deal of time creating this ruse of gender identities and stereotypes to distance themselves from the feminine that we are rooted in.


Feelings, emotions, sensitivity, being vulnerable, being able to nurture, crying, are not just in females, because males have these too. One only need look at young children to see that all of us came into the world with these attributes of spirit. Unfortunately, they are conditioned out of us at an early age. I find it interesting that religions discuss these attributes as well, and yet the words are mostly empty intellectual terms void of the embodiment of the deeper essence of these spiritual attributes. Obviously this is going to disturb males in general and maybe even females. If you find this repulsive or have a negative reaction, then I would suggest taking responsibility for discerning whether it is rooted in spirit or ego. If you think you are that body, guess again. The body is your host and was created to assist you during this incarnation.


All life forms on this planet are Beings and have a form that they inhabit. One would argue that air or water has nothing to contain it. But if you go up into space and look at Earth, you will realize that the atmosphere is living layer of skin if you will that protects us from the variables of space that impinge upon us. Think of when an object enters the Earth's atmosphere, or how the ozone layer protects us from the Sun's rays. All of these systems are living organic systems that were created by the living Earth or Gaia as some call her. Those who see Nature as mechanistic are merely projecting their own mechanistic egoic reality onto Earth, refusing to embrace their own spiritual connections, they must refuse to see spirit in the world around them. Yet, all the religions state that GOD created all things. Funny how they refuse to see spirit in all things.


We are being asked to let go and open to the depths of our Being, so as to be in alignment to foster and create fertile ground for birthing higher states of consciousness to human beings so as to join together in harmony and balance with all sentient Beings on this planet. We are to restore all the damage that has occurred so that all beings can live. Ironically, one could look at all the damage being done to Earth's inhabitants as a mirror of what goes on within the human body when cancer invades and destroys the body. The rest of the Universe is waiting for us. I believe that there are other sentient life forms out there. Our destiny is unbelievably high if we can get out of our own way to allow true Being to arise.




1.29.08 - Good morning to another moment...


“Energy medicine is the future of all medicine.”

- Norm Shealy, M.D., Ph.D., Founding President of the American Holistic Medical Association

“The next big frontier in medicine is energy medicine.”

- Mehmet Oz, M.D. (One of the most respected surgeons in the U.S. and the Director of the Cardiovascular Institute at the Columbia University College of Physicians & Surgeons, speaking on Oprah)

“In every culture and in every medical tradition before ours, healing was accomplished by moving energy." - Albert Szent-Györgyi, Nobel Laureate in Medicine


Donna Eden has a book out called Energy Medicine. Here is a link to her Energy Medicine Institute website that lists numerous articles:

Here is a link to numerous videos of Eckhart Tolle presentations:

I just finished painting a new piece. I'd started it a couple of weeks ago one night. A few nights ago, I had a dream about the painting, with new aspects of it coming alive off the paper. So, I finished it a while ago and started listening to Hoobastank I had the urge to move and dance, so got up and began moving. I sort of move with a blend of techno, alternative, and freestyle Qigong. I like to close my eyes when I move, speeding up and slowing down the movements to snails pace. While I was doing this, aspects of the painting kept showing up in my inner eye, with various color blocks moving around, shifting, and adjusting themselves in new positions. The whole thing was quite amazing to watch as I moved to the rhythms:

I've been thinking about shooting video of doing art and its time to implement that, so people can see how I create images. For some reason, it reminds me of some of the incredible experiences I've had while journeying. During one instance, someone leading the group had clanged Tibetan bells together, and it was the most exquisite experience. The inner experience of the sound was seeing a moving shape of color that was very defined, like dropping ink into a clear glass of water and seeing it spread out. Only this color was like a effervescent blue, an electric blue that resonated and shimmered through my entire body like an orgasm, but oh so much more lighter, higher, ecstatic, making you wanting to hear it again and again and again. This was so much like a full body orgasm where the energy is so refined and pure that the body literally opens and writhes in joy as the universe flows through. It's like coming home, of being filled with light, with love, and realizing you are one with all things. Words don't come close to the real thing and at best, It's like standing on the ocean shore naked, with the Sun just the right temperature, and the waves gently sloshing at your feet, spraying you from time to time, with the most exquisite wind blowing and cascading all over and through your whole being, where suddenly you are floating on air, being gently rocked by the ecstatic waves of the most softest, gentlest, soothing sensations, where one lets go of the need to think and just releases themselves into the fullness of the eternal moment of divine presence. It's the same experiences I've ever had with Nature at moments that I was able to open up out of my thinking mind and step into the incredible flow of knowing how real and powerful and loving and accepting and profound and intelligent, and divine all of Nature is, because in those moments I've stepped out of the foolishness of my own ignorance of thought to embrace and come face to face with the wholeness of what I am, which is one with Nature and equal with all sentient life. You've not truly lived until you've let go to that level of conscious being. And once you've experienced it, your life is never the same, because you realize how worthless civilization is at its current primitive expression of egoic constrictions.

And when the moment in Nature is over, and I'm back amongst the living dead, I wonder how the many live such empty lives of obsessive thought, struggling to work to buy the latest techno wonder guaranteed to be the next pacifier to quiet human paranoia, as they continue to build concrete prisons that stomp out any real connection to one's sanity, to one's roots, in the earthen wonder that has been our womb since time immortal. When I walk around the cities, towns, covered with pavement and concrete, the energy is almost non-existent. And it's no wonder there is trash every where, seeing the vomit of those who try in vain to manage their pain with alcohol, and one can see where those who stuff feelings with cigarette after cigarette, leaving their butts laying on the sidewalks as if they were empty bullet casings putting their mark of death on their life force. People parade around in the latest styles, current fads of chatter, finding ways to entertain themselves until the next wave of dis-ease hits them. I wonder how the many walking and driving around manage their pain, find their fix, creating this knee jerk response to the pain and suffering they are always trying to stay ahead of moment after moment after moment. All the while putting their egoic faith in leaders who are so far gone from their eternal roots as to be impoverished beyond rational behavior that bludgeons to death anything remotely connected to their salvation. And the many sit in front of their televisions waiting for Alice in Wonderland to tumble down the rabbit hole and into their living rooms of despair. Who is it we are waiting for? No one is going to rescue you anyone, because no one wants to be rescued. No one is going to convince those who don't want to be convinced.

The contrasts between Nature's domain and the man-made domains of humans is like light years apart. And I wonder at the shame of my kind who are constantly crushing the moments that Nature offers, destroying their womb, their mother, their father, their only way out of the madness that consumes their tightly wound identities constructed of titanium rice paper and exotic mental liquors of razor sharp thoughts of fear. The light is right there. It's never gone away, never stopped shining, never ceasing to radiate its warmth and love. Yet the many continue turning their backs on the only thing that will end their suffering. What they don't want to know is killing them and they embrace it all the same.

We each let go when we finally reach the breaking point, the point where our inner rubber band has been stretched as far as it can go without breaking, and we are brought back to the beginning once again. The only driving force of moving away from self is the other. Perhaps now is a good time to notice what value we are getting out of denying our authentic self. Perhaps in embracing who we truly are, we pull the mask off and experience the relief of existing in silent pantomimes of empty words...


1.31.08 - I just got off the phone with the Better Business Bureau in regards to a complaint I filed in regards to This morning I received an email response stating they couldn't process my complaint, listing seven possible reasons why? How does one deny processing a complaint with possible reasons. I was just plain amazed at such a vague response. So, I went about writing a response back and was prevented from posting half of response, due to limits on words. I have been noticing this sort of limitation coming up on more and more sites; why'll they state its to force people to get to the point, it is actually more of a consciousness limiter. The same analogy goes with the media in print or broadcast, wherein one can alter perceptions by type and number of words used. What they tend to leave out is information that would show a much fuller view of reality; in essence it is done to create an illusion.

So, I get on the phone and speak to the person who responded to my complaint. I had to go through and present my case again, and at which point was told that if I re-worded my complaint, then they would assist me. I went through a sort of shock to my system. The only reason they would not process the complaint was in how it was worded. Nothing changed mind you, other than the fact that I didn't word it in such a way that would fit into their lingo. I laughed, because it was sort of comical, that it came down to what words to use. I got off the phone and I had to go sit down and meditate, because it was like suddenly gestalting (feelings) the whole dysfunctional construct of our society based on a code of words. I've known that words are powerful, but this took it to another level, one where realities are entrenched via the legal system; THE WORDS; The rich man's words.

Think about this, you have a group of people who decide what legal law is, and this body of "law" has been continually changed and altered over the centuries. This is important to understand, because those who make the laws are not you and I. Those who make legal law are those at the top. Business interests of the rich are relevant in this law. The law's first interest is to control the masses. One does this through language, for words are magic, are power, of which reality is created. The language of the written law is very much like an operating system for a computer. One cannot alter this operating system unless you happen to know computer code. The words you speak create your reality.

The movie "The Secret" brought this to the public awhile back. More and more people are discussing this, writing about it, talking about it on Oprah and other shows. Affirmations are computer codes and crucial to writing your own operating code to own your power. Our whole system has been built on an original premise of dictators basically, who over time learned to limit information. They also learned to instill fear into the masses, and eventually learned the subtle art of psychological sculpturing of minds at an early age. Looking back in the "good old days," one can follow the progression of consciousness suppressed at every step. Gradually slavery was ended, women were given the right to vote, children were given rights, and process of bringing prejudice, racism, sexism, homophobia, ageism, and erotophobia to an end.

The inevitable jump in conscious awareness is to understand the power of the word, and how we are trained to think, to process information, where we are conditioned to focus our awareness. Families are the beginning point for mind-molding and the most debilitating, since it is our early interactions with our parents and siblings that form our first view of the world.  Mainstream education is the mold where this mind-molding increases. While this is occurring, religion institutes are busy with their own shaping of consciousness, which began at birth, through the use of shame, guilt, and fear, , along with using their own operating system that is severely limiting in regards to our true spiritual growth and development. The religious biases are brought to the educational system by the "believers", just as they are brought to the business world and governments. Academia is another step in this operating system, where divergent interests are collated into the larger governing bodies that oversee these institutions at the lower and higher levels of conformity to those in power.

This is not to say they don't have value, because they have been beneficial in getting people to become knowledgeable. Yet at the same time, those who preside over the masses, have truly benefited by tailoring information into knowledge that supports their own agendas, thus crippling the unfolding of consciousness. If this weren't so, then our educational systems would be open learning systems, where tests and grades would be irrelevant. And before you react to this statement, take the time to research what I am talking about here. Here's a couple of links, but please do your own; 1  2. If this were not so, then peace and harmony would have arisen, but it has not because the operating system is severely flawed. By the way, those at the top have another completely different operating system.

By the way, our spiritual growth and development is not just an intellectual process; far from it. Our spiritual growth is the unfoldment of our Being. At birth, we come in with our Being fully intact. We are taught there are specific stages of development of the child. But, these stages are flawed and geared towards keeping us ignorant of our full potential. First off, the child's Being is fully conscious, and while there are stages of development that are occurring, there is a great deal of deeper development that we ignore and deny, to the point that it cripples the child by the time it reaches the teen years and the adult years. This crippling is done to ensure the Being is submerged from our conscious awareness, so as to condition each person to focus on the cultural law versus spiritual law of Being.

One has to understand that cultures are constructed to take us away from our power, so that the cultural structures of power (structure, infrastructure, superstructure see 1  2  3), are the building blocks that imprison consciousness from expressing itself through Being. To give you an idea of what this means, consider what occurs as individuals awaken from dysfunction that they once belonged. Consider what occurs when people wake out of this cultural trance and become true to their Being and begin to act in accordance to this inner knowing. Breaking the rules is the greatest sin one can commit in regards to the repressive structures that block access to higher states of consciousness. This is why they are so powerful, since they have built a mental structure of beliefs away from awareness of Being. Those in power have done this continually over time. What we have today is a totalitarian governing body that keeps us in check via psychological maneuverings that effectively keep us imprisoned without actual physical walls. We have been taught to be our own prison, as well as the prison guards, which is what the egoic mechanism is trained to do.

This is the closely guarded secret of those in power. Call it politics, religion, business, or whatever, the names are irrelevant compared to the orchestrated actions sculpting the minds of the many. Those who react to this might consider watching this particular video, as it relates to reactions: Consider this particular event in 1968 at Columbia University . You can see the same thing going on these last few years with Bush and company forcing protestors into fenced in areas away from the public eye and the media, for the purpose of taking away their power to effect change. This is what occurs when the power structures are challenged by those with individual power.

Understand that this power structure of a small group of individuals is not going to let go of their power without violence. They will use everything at their disposal to stop the rising of consciousness. This was evident in how the Bush administration consistently lied about Iraq. They used the Justice Dept. to legalize torture, as well as to undermine other areas that would undermine their power. Look around, because what you see going on is evidence of a crack down on consciousness. Homeland Security director told a group of senators that there would be no extension on border crossing identification requirements 1. Here's an example of newly formed government organization that doesn't have to answer to the government. Consider this interesting video

When you look around the world at what is going on, consider the Israeli government cutting off food, fuel, and aid to the Palestinian people. The people got so desperate, that they broke through the wall and 50,000 people flowed into Egypt for access to food and fuel. The wall has since been blocked and guarded by Egypt's military forces. And nobody did anything about it, not even the U.S. who supports Israel with billions in aid. Somebody has to be the scapegoat, so who's next? Isn't it fascinating how those in power do nothing and the truth of the matter is they don't care. What they do care about is ensuring access to resources and power over others.

Our power comes from acting from Being, from refusing to purchase goods and services that are tainted with blood and corruption. True power does not respond to guilt, shame, and fear. Being is not any of those things, nor are we our culture or the ideas we have been thinking by. Ever wonder why feelings and emotions are labeled a sign of weakness? They are taught to be weak, because they break through the concrete of intellectual thought that drives the egoic mechanism, effectively shutting out our connection to Being. Emotional outbursts are the first line of realizing that there is a crack in the wall of denial. As this crack widens, one begins to access feelings, and if we have a supportive environment, they can lead one back to Being, where one can access their true power. Once awakened, no one has any power over you

If you recoil in fear, no matter if its a small or large fear, understand it is a distraction to pull you away from awareness; awareness will move you into Being, into the Now. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not here and most spend all of their time totally consumed with everything but now. How can anyone in this state of turmoil be expected to create a positive fulfilling life when consumed with negative contexts? Ironically consumed points to consuming, consumerism, which is the act of getting something to be something. On the other hand, Being doesn't consume because it already is full.

Being a consumer, coming from Being, will shake the foundations of this world as we know it. Yesterday there was a front page article in the Seattle Times about a study comparing pesticide levels in children who ate "regular" food and the other "organic" food. What you spend your money on supports a particular mindset. The same goes for all those consumer goods we purchase to fill our emptiness that are made in sweatshops. There is no way around the changes that are coming to our societies. Our societies have been built on the traumatization of the many for the sake of the few, and in some sense they too are traumatized. Everything is becoming over priced, while consciousness, awareness, health & well-being, honesty, integrity, unconditional love, and Being are down played or devalued.

The name of the game coming into power is spirit, where we are all respectful of all Beings, and we use our divinely given creative power to imagine a better world, to find a better way to respect all life. Creativity has been around a lot longer than humankind on this planet. Everything that is on this planet that is not man-made is organic and it is the path we are headed towards for all things. Things made without conscious awareness are primitive, and will be made obsolete as we gain more awareness of who and what we are. Those Nature lovers have always had it right when they talked about observing nature for truth. the whole essence of Nature is the full spectrum of all that is in the Universe.

Everything that has ever existed is mirrored in Nature, from the most largest to the smallest beyond our human eyes, into the realm of the inner eye. You don't need an electron microscope to see those levels. Open your mind and your consciousness will reveal to you all that you are currently unconscious too. We do not open up without a process of unfoldment; even Nature shows this to be true. If you try to rush the process, damage can occur. One can see this with organic carrots that have cracks in them, due to producers trying to rush the process for profits. Irrigation management plays a minor role while excessive nitrogen fertilization increases the risk of carrot cracking.

When the time is right, all doors open. This doesn't mean one sits back and does nothing. Our job is to wake ourselves up by reading about dysfunction and all that entails. Our job is to do body work, breath work, body movement, creative outlets, singing, dancing, playing, outdoor activities, solitude, self-reflection, organic foods, rest, exercise, removing pharmaceutical drugs, doing affirmations, meditations, visualizations and a host of other aspects that increase consciousness. If you thought the process was going to be easy, its not. We went through a very intense process of going to sleep and it is going to take a good deal of effort to transform ourselves. The good news is its not going to take the same amount of time it took to get to that level of unconsciousness, unless of course one is side tracked by ego. The egoic operating system is what needs to be addressed, and getting into creating a daily mantra of action towards activities, thoughts, and beliefs that align with Being and higher consciousness.

What does that last part mean? It means we don't have to re-invent the wheel. It means we know what it is like to be disrespected, so one can start with that and make it their mantra to stop disrespecting themselves and others. We have been conditioned to not care about ourselves and others, which we do on a regular basis in subtle ways. When we can become conscious of how we judge others, we begin to become aware of how we judge ourselves on a regular basis, for if we didn't judge ourselves, we would not judge others. When we become aware of what we put into our body and mind, we begin supporting all that is life affirming and support only those people, places, and things that radiate with Being.

Energy is the name of the game. Start noticing where the negative and positive energies are. What brings you down or up. Realize there is a difference between someone who doesn't want to hear truth, because there are those who would experience a downer upon hearing truth. The sort of ups and downs I am referring to relate to spirit or lack thereof. We have been living with the idea of wealth as goods, metals, gems, and money. With the age of electronic funds, we are moving towards the true wealth, which is spiritual energy. Have you been around someone who is uplifting for you? This is an idea of the concept I am getting at. A money-less society is a society stripped of its fear and where unconditional love facilitates true sharing. In this climate, one is moved by their hearts to their deeper right-livelihood. In this unfoldment process, whole new ways of living and Being will be shown to us by our spirit.

When we come to realize the abundance within, and we come to experience what sovereignty truly means, we will let go of the need to control. In this letting go, each of us will contribute to a naturally evolving process of creating a society that takes care of our needs. This is what spiritual wealth will create. Pain and suffering are a direct correlation to a lack of higher consciousness. Our own pain is a reflection of this. Looking at the early symptoms of pain and suffering will bring awareness as to what is out of balance. Unfortunately, the world has been going ass backwards in the sense of creating pain and suffering, and then causing pain and suffering on those who would address the pain and suffering, and preventing pain and suffering from being alleviated.

Pain and suffering cannot be eliminated completely, because they are signs of loss of awareness. They are the early warnings of our not being aware of what is going on within. In conscious societies, as we are now becoming, we are being encouraged to look within and find what we are ignoring. We will find ways to resolve those dilemmas. In some cases it may mean ending dysfunctional relationships after repeated failures at trying to make them work. Or we may look for other work that is more meaningful to us or move to an area that is more in line with our heart. One will let go of cultural values that do not resonate from the heart. We may re-evaluate who we have been being based on cultural values, such as clothing, make-up, and material goods. 

What will become the most important to us is Being and allowing that to resonate fully, much like the Sun does on a cloudless day. Think of clouds as fear, the more there are the more the Sun gets covered up. When the Sun is covered up we become fearful, and the all the pain and suffering arises. Fear, guilt, and shame are the biggies that cover up the Sun; cover up our Being. Our opportunity in this life time is to be true to Being, to embrace the fullness of our potential, of which the many are unaware of. And that includes me. Our lives are a process where we wake up to what we have been conditioned to be to transforming who we truly are and giving ourselves permission to extricate ourselves from the roles. This may be challenging because the roles we have been playing have been on egoic autopilot. At times the autopilot will turn on and we will lose Being. And this process will waffle back and forth between sanity and insanity until we finally anchor into our Being fully and completely inhabit sanity.

On any given day I am constantly paying attention to the unconscious reactions in my own self. The signs I look for are fear, anger, judgments, comparisons, avoidance, or negative feelings. At this point, they don't last very long, maybe ten minutes at best. Paying attention has paid off in noticing what triggers the response and being able to follow it back to its root and where I learned that. When I get awareness of what the issue is, I let go into Being again. This really sheds light on the issue, as it relates to a though process, a belief, and then a pattern that caused the problem; thought, belief, pattern. It is the pattern that causes the pain and suffering, and all I need do is understand the belief behind the pattern and the thought that created it, and where it came from; by this I mean is it based in ego or spirit.

Spiritual thought and egoic thought are two different things. Spiritual thought is not to be confused with religion. Spiritual thought is what arises from the vastness of what we call GOD/GODDESS. All thought arises from the essence of their Being. We are Beings that have arisen from their Being and our Being is psychic in nature. This Greater Divine Being is not singular as we know it. Within this vastness arises consciousness that interacts with all Beings simultaneously in all dimensions. There is nothing this essence does not know. I don't subscribe to the notion that we are here so that God can no itself. The Divine is everything and is aware of everything.

Thoughts are electromagnetic impulses, energy if you will, and this consciousness of creative impulses radiate out to those that they relate to telepathically. If we are open, we receive and utilize what arises in our consciousness. If we are not, then the impulse or what we call a thought, does not arise in awareness because in general most are not in the state of awareness to be receptive, to be open to receiving. Thoughts that are larger than our sense of self will not be entertained. Some will have these types of thoughts arise and will know them as earth shattering in context to what we perceive as reality. One can see this played out when closed minded people hear open minded people discussing truths that are threatening to their egoic mechanism. So, in this regard the egoic mechanism can be seen as preventative to being overloaded with consciousness that would shatter the cultural psychological construct known as I.

From my perspective the Sun is a living conscious Being that is so much vaster than our own consciousness or that of the planet that it staggers the imagination to conceive of let alone experience. If one were to just compare the size of Earth to the Sun in terms of Being and then compare our human body to the Sun, one would get some sort of analogy of what I am getting at. Look at this like a puzzle pieces or cells in a body. There are many cells or pieces that make up this body. And there are even more life forms that come together to create a planet or star or a galaxy and whatever gets bigger than that. It is akin to linking many computers together called parallel computing. Each computer is still a computer, yet connected together they are much more.

Consciousness is this way and much more so than we can currently conceptualize. What science today conceives of as the smallest gets infinitely smaller than they could imagine. What they conceive of as the building blocks of the Universe would startle them out of their intellectual stupor. Psychology as it is known today is a joke at best and insanity a context that leads into studies about reality that would create terror in the minds of the unprepared. But how does one prepare for a break in what they know as cultural reality. The fact of the matter is you don't. You have no control over what you are going to perceive in the long run if Higher Self sees an opening. The whole idea of control is simply foolish, like a dog chasing its tail.

We are not the form we occupy. The form is divine, but it is not who our individual Being is. The thoughts that radiate to us from within come from our higher self. We have a higher and lower self. Lower self is that aspect of our divine spark that lowers its consciousness into form at birth. After birth we are impinged upon by cultural pressure and this is where we lose consciousness of Being, of our higher self, or it could be seen as complete self, where higher and lower are complete in essence.

We are always connected to Being, its just that higher self has full control to lower the veil over lower self's awareness when life gets to be too painful for us. Lower self does not have awareness of this or control of it. Higher self guides us through life and begins the process of awakening when the environment is right for us to open up; think of how a seed germinates, pushes up from the soil, reaches for the Sun and eventually a bud appears, with a beautiful flower opening fully. This is what we are meant to do. Sometimes the conditioned patterns have death grip on us and we are unable to be directed by higher self. Thus the seed does not get to find the right soil to germinate.

I've met people who were entrenched like this, living completely in intellect. I knew this one person for four years and last year they got Parkinson's Disease, and they went down hill from there rather quickly. Towards the end, I'd been over to their house and he had fallen to the floor. I helped his wife lift him up and the person I once knew was not present at all. I had a sense that lower self was all but removed. I suspect that when Higher Self cannot get Lower self to awaken from the patterns, then at some point it evaluates whether or not this incarnation can be of benefit. If not, Higher Self begins the process of re-absorbing its Lower Self, calling it back home so to speak.

So, we have a choice, to let go and begin to embrace what Being is whispering to us, to create an opening in our consciousness to being able to hear the full volume of our Being within, or continue to be led astray by egoic non-sense. The egoic non-sense is the spectrum of thought that  originates at the lower levels of consciousness. These lower vibrational thoughts originate in the astral plane, as well as other dimensions that are lower than the higher realms. Once you understand that you are a psychic being yourself without form, then one can grasp the truth that all life forms are formless, being imbued with a Being just as we are.

This is challenging to a closed egoic mind because it means the end of the illusion that has been weaved. Consider the extensive thoughts that permeate your mind; both positive and negative.  Begin to spend time noticing those thoughts and you will begin to see patterns as to when they arise. Question them. Challenge them. Don't react to them. Then notice what goes on internally. Notice bodily reactions such as tensions, pain, or a building up of anger or hatred or an urge towards being violent. All of these are being triggered by inner forces that have a vested interest in your staying unconscious. Consider those alcoholics you see on the streets arguing loudly with an unseen person. They will tell you they are arguing with someone in their head. This is an example of psychic entities harassing others.

When you begin to understand what Eckhart Tolle is getting at in regards to the pain body, you will begin to entertain the idea he presents in regards about entities. We humans can entertain the idea of a virus becoming a host in the human mind. Consider that Nature is a reflection of all life forms and all possibilities. If a virus can effect change in the human body, then it is quite feasible for an entity to feed off us energetically. Never mind what you have been taught to believe. There is more to this than what you have been taught. Don Miguel discusses this in his book, "The Four Agreements." We are not separate as we have been led to believe, nor are we as free as we have thought we are. When one is unconscious, and under the cultural thoughts, beliefs, and patterns, one is deeply imprisoned. One has become the actor or actress playing a part that has been forced upon you from early on.

Start noticing what goes on between the body and the mind. The mind when it is not in alignment with the heart, will contract the body, which feels like grabbing hold of a tube of tooth paste to and squeezing everything up to the top with the cap still on. When the heart is in charge, there is a flow that is continuous, like water flowing out of a garden hose. The subtleties of this contraction, of this tightening, are almost fathomless, like layers of an onion or an artichoke. Notice what is going on in the body when their is pain or suffering or fear or anger or hatred or violence. Notice what happens to your breathing. These are all important in identifying the process that is lowering one's consciousness.



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