Back        Home


January 2009



1.01.09 -


Another year has gone on by, full of growth, wonder, and amazement. Time doesn't go fast or slow, it always seems to be like a meandering river, but there's no feeling of being rushed or being in agony from time going to slow. In my 20's and 30's, that seemed to be something that irritated me to no end. I always felt like the work week went by to darn slow and when the weekend came it went too darn fast. Now every day is the same effortless flow. I understand now that it was my ego making time seem to be like it was too slow or too fast, with its incessant judging, complaining, and dissatisfaction. I'm pleased and relieved that this no longer occurs.


May this coming year be effortless for you all. Life itself is effortless, its ego's dysfunctional reality that distracts the many away from the authentic into the unauthentic. It's really excruciatingly hard work to stifle awareness.


“The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words, and that if you know the words that the world is made of you can make of it whatever you wish.” - Terence McKenna, Ethnobotanist and Philosopher


1.06.09 - Here's a link with a great deal of information on kundalini, becoming more conscious, meditation, breath techniques, and yoga postures. There's a lot of guidance here as to what works and what doesn't and why. Everyone has kundalini energy, but in most its just dormant, which is indicative of unconsciousness in the masses and dysfunction.

In my own past, meditation didn't work right away and ego distracted me from doing it further. Thankfully, the path from reading evolved to understanding, which evolved to bodywork, and this process sort repeated itself from 1989 to the present. Along the way breathwork in the form of Rebirthing came into my life, other forms of bodywork, energy work, psychedelics (spiritual tools), painting abstracts, writing, eating healthier, learning about essential oils, supplements, acupuncture, and being in Nature. Ultimately this led to greater openings for inner listening, being receptive to intuitive guidance, and an ongoing process of deepening peace of mind, which has led to greater degrees of letting go.

At different times in my life I have done yoga for a short time and then moved on due to various reasons, none of which were valid in hindsight. I have been feeling pulled to start the process again. The last time was three years ago. I was driving home after a session one night and felt my entire body or energetic body expand outwards. The experience was incredibly blissful, calming, and full of warmth, the sort of warmth one gets from being with loving people. Over the years, no matter what particular process I get involved with for body, mind, soul, spirit work, it always has these amazing experiences to them. They remind me that I am on the right path, doing what needs to be done to balance out and open up so as to let go more.

There really isn't any need to hold on to anything at all. The idea we need to hold on is just that; Egoic imagination; fantasy; make believe.

The purpose of psychedelics as spiritual tools is to learn from direct experience how one is holding on. The egoic function melts away to varying degrees, which allows one to experience what is behind all that holding on. The process is not meant to be a distract, nor is it meant to be done every day like many do. This need stems from a two step process. One is the desire to experience bliss, joy, ecstasy, and peace, while the other is about stifling access to this. So, one goes back and forth on a regular basis, trying to recreate the loss when one comes down from the experience and the portal within closes.

The process is supposed to be a learning process. To experience what is missing from the inner, so that one can begin the challenging work to get more conscious so as to not need to use anything at all to access. At some point there is no accessing because one is open to this flow as naturally as children are. The tools are supposed to assist one in gaining understanding as to what is blocking this flow of divine consciousness. Those who profess that psychedelics are "wrong" have an ego in place that judges anything that would interfere with the egoic conditioning, which is why you will find most anything that would awaken a person (if they understood the implications/processes of them) is illegal, while those things that are addictive and more destructive are legal; such as nicotine, caffeine, sugar, working, materialism.

The entire social construct as we know it is based on an addictive process that is an outward expression that clings to the material realm in an attempt to suppress the naturally occurring authenticity that arises within. This is why the many do not go within, because the addictive habit has forced them into a slavery of vast dimensions that disables the spiritual dimension. The basis of this process is locking one into obsessive/compulsive thinking. We think of this process as relating to the few, when in fact most people are dominated by it as well. The only difference is that the many know how to function with by obsessing about external things; belongings, looks, attire, assets, identity, prestige, and a host of other neurotic tendencies that arise from egoic being rather than authentic Being.

This is not known to the many because the dysfunction has been embodied as "normal," since just about everyone is doing it. Cultural pressure for conformity ensures this process is stabilized into normal behavior, but I can assure it is far from normal. Our urge for others approval permeates most of our time and efforts, all the while being totally oblivious to us during our daily pilgrimages into unconscious doing, fulfilling our obligations as if it meant everything to us; and it does, it is the ensuring of basic essential elements of our survival needs.

As children, we would not have gone far knowing our parents and those around us were insane/dysfunctional. Depending on this dysfunctional level, one would shut down to appropriate levels that guaranteed getting needs met. The ego acts like carrot dangling like a stick over our heads, ensuring that we continue forward doing what we need to do in order to fit in, by doing what was expected. The problem with this technique is that there is no possible way to get the carrot whatsoever. The only way out of this insanity is to wake up to the psychic split that occurred to create the illusion you could get the carrot if you did all the right things.

While doing a DFA session, I was on the table on my right side. The practitioner was holding onto the palm and elbow of my left arm, pulling it out away from the body. At some point this started to annoy me and I told her so; practitioners appreciate feedback so they know what is working and what is not and to give guidance. I was told to keep talking about how I felt. The more she did this the more angry I got. I told her I felt like I did as a kid being pulled about by adults whether I liked it or not. As she continued this movement, very slowly, I suddenly had this inner vision of a carrot stick dangling over my head. In the vision, I kept trying to get the carrot but couldn't. There was an open doorway nearby that I was trying to get to, because I knew intuitively there was something there I needed to see. I told her about this and her response was, "keep talking about it." At some point in the vision, I suddenly shot forward and was able to look around to the left of the door frame and looked down and saw nothing.

At this point, I broke down and started sobbing, realizing there had never been anything there, that the illusion had been created long ago to keep me going in order to survive. This realization came instantly the minute it occurred. As I sobbed, this inner voice came and gently told me, "Please forgive. Please forgive me. I had to leave in order for you to survive. I continued sobbing as this was repeated several times. When the illusion broke, the stuck energies/grief were able to purge themselves, so that consciousness could flow freely.

Up until that point, there was no conscious awareness of this block. This is how the process occurs. We do not consciously go to sleep for the most part. Though, I have met a few people who recalled forgetting abilities and being unable to access them. This is an egoic construct, the creating of an illusion of which we buy into thinking it real. The many go through life with false identities and personalities that were created to fit in and get their needs met as a defensive reaction to the insanity of dysfunction. They truly believe who they are is who they are and everyone else believes the others delusions as well. Everyone has a stick dangling a carrot over their heads. If we did not have this motivational construct, we would not have been able to continue functioning in dysfunction mode through life.

But oh the price the many pay in doing this dance unconsciously. This most certainly does not sustain authentic Being, nor does it bring joy, peace, bliss, ecstasy, and contentment from being able to create from one's heart a joyful abundant world in which we are nurtured, supported, respected, loved unconditionally, and cared for by others, but mostly by spirit. The many do not realize how far departed they are from this wonderful experience that is one's birth right. The good news is that the inner has never gone anywhere, its just that a sign was posted over time that said:

And most of us have gone through life completely unaware that the spiritual dimension exists. Nobody tells you that all of us came from this dimension. It's like the lie makes it seem like we are born into this physical body and our entire identity is this physical dimension. I can assure you that there is as much if not more dimension internally than externally. What is greater in value comes from within. If this were not the case, and the external world was the greater, there would be no pain or suffering, nor would people continue to do inner seeking. There is so much more going on than you could imagine from an egoic mindset that works 24/7 to ensure obedience to the illusions.

We have come to believe that those in power our powerful, when in fact they are the most powerless. Do not believe that money makes one powerful. This illusion is created by those who covet money or material goods over honesty and integrity. One cannot remain dysfunctional when one is honest and integral. This is the basis of the world that has built this establishment of insanity to ensure you forget that you are a divine being, so you cannot be a fully functioning, spiritual creator here on planet Earth. Those in power currently don't really create anything, they force things to happen their way by manipulation, coercion, intimidation, fear, shame, and guilt. It is all they know how to do since they too are not conscious. How ironic that we are controlled by these shams by those who really have no power.

If you could but realize an inkling of what this means, you would begin to understand how others can pull, manipulate, coerce you like strings on a puppet. The more of these dysfunctional traits you have the more controlled you are. Waking up is the process of freeing oneself from the tyranny of dysfunction. Those in power tend to be more ruthless as they try to get their way in the world, which is why one will never arrive at peace and harmony and goodwill by their methods. It is just not possible, because ego will never let go enough to ensure that spirit can express its light out into the world.

One can do all the right things from an intellectually correct posture, but it is not authentically expressed due to egoic constructs operating, which limits the fullness of spirit. Letting go is completely surrendering to your authentic self. Your ego has you convinced that you will be giving up control of your life. But, true letting go and surrendering is letting go of one's defenses (ego), one's assumptions, one's fears, one's shame, one's guilt.  What is even more appreciated in letting go is that one is no longer manipulated, coerced, intimidated, or controlled by external events. People have this idea that if they let go they will have nothing. The real truth in this context is that you truly have nothing as long as ego is in charge, because in this mode of operation, you are always responding or reacting to external events. This is something Robert Fritz mentions in his book The Path Of Least Resistance.

If you want to be free of pain and suffering, then start learning how to let go. The good news is it will be easier than when you had to learn to hold on. It took years to learn and perfect your roles in order to survive. The difference is you will be moving beyond mere survival into abundant living and freedom to Be. There will be no fear, no shame, no guilt to inhibit the expression of your inner Being. Some will be convinced that this will result in pandemonium or chaos, but we have that now everywhere we look; insanity. This sort of talk about pandemonium/chaos is egoic talk, meant to maintain control over your freedom to express authentic Being.

Authentic Being respects others, so why would that be such a threatening thing? The truth of this is that the more people become authentic, the more they learn to create from their hearts, which then frees them to be themselves. On the other hand, those in power NEED you to be what they need you to be in order to feel safe, secure, and well off. The need for power is the need for control. The more fear you have the more the need for power; greed is simply the extension of the need for power and control. One in this egoic mindset will do anything necessary to maintain the establishment.

Being is threatening to those who are in non-Being mode. They are frightened because they have lost the ability to be authentic AND to be a creator. If they truly understood how much pain and suffering they are in, they might begin to let go. But the addiction is the accrual of things and controlling people. The addictions are always short term gratifications, which is why there is always the need for more control in order to get the necessary short term fix. These people are far more destructive to the world than any other addiction that we know. The ruse is that the many are conned into thinking others. This reminds me of an R. D. Laing quote:

"If the human race survives, future men will, I suspect, look back on our enlightened epoch as a veritable Age of Darkness. . . .They will see that what was considered 'schizophrenic' was one of the forms in which, often through quite ordinary people, the light began to break into our all-too-closed minds."  - The Wing of Madness: The Life & Work of R.D. Laing 

Waking up in essence is becoming aware of the addictive contexts to which we engage life and what we do to deny authentic self; nothing more, nothing less. The process of waking up is different from going to sleep. When one goes to sleep, one is needing others approval and doing this, one is required to take on false identities, beliefs, and behaviors that create a false character that acts in addictive ways to survive; in essence we live a lie with no integrity and we constantly disrespect ourselves. Waking up on the other hand allows us to respect ourselves by being honest and integral, so we can let go of fitting in. This allows us to express ourselves authentically. We allow ourselves to create the life we desire, as well as respecting others to create the life they desire. This is what authenticity allows.

Self-respect begets respecting others. One cannot respect others when they don't respect themselves. This idea of respect that I am talking about is not the cultural conditioned idea of respect based on an intellectualized concept of social norms, where one is full of words but no action. We are a society of people who believe in words and are blind to action.

Waking up is a process of learning to feel feelings, express emotions, and be vulnerable. Vulnerable is to be free from defenses, body armor, deception, distortion, illusion, fear, and egoic domination. One is also free from shame and guilt. While this may seem frightening, I can assure it is only ego pushing your buttons to keep you imprisoned in its negating thoughts. Your example of functional behaviors is children. They have no shame, guilt, fear, or egoic constructs. They are completely authentic, unconditional loving, forgiving, compassionate, caring, kind, sensitive, nurturing, warm, and full of wonder.

The realization is that children aren't robots. What you are experiencing with them is the authentic Being within expressing itself through the organic organism we know as the human body. The body is not who we are, nor does that mean the body is less than authentic Being. The body itself is living consciousness, and such deserves to be treated with respect while it does what it does best naturally. The time is here to free your mind so your heart can express authentic Being. You can do it if you take action. Ego will convince you to not take action.

To say, "I'll try," is to buy into the egoic notion of stalling. One doesn't try breathing, one breathes. One doesn't try being authentic, One becomes authentic one step at a time.


1.07.09 - Change is something most don't comprehend due to the fact that most stay on an even keel, which is to say, they don't rock the boat. Egoic mindsets are geared towards fitting in, blending in, appeasing others. As one changes, the change of behavior can effect changes in on the physical, mental, emotional, sexual, spiritual planes. Behaviors by their nature create structures in which those of like behaviors group together. We all know how this works in sports, business, music, art, sexual orientation, religion, politics, culture, race, gender, age, education, or beliefs.

Looking back over the years of change in my own life, it has been interesting to watch how I navigated around. I recall in my early 20's of being in different distinct groups of friends, those on the west side of Rochester and those on the East side. There were mixes of those who had money and those who didn't. Those who smoked and those who didn't. I found myself inviting friends from the west side over to gatherings with the east side. Funny how that worked out. Later, when I joined the Army, I came back to Rochester for a friend's wedding. I ran into one of the woman I knew from our east side group. I was knew to the service and didn't know the ranking of officers and non-officers that well. She had recently joined ROTC, which I knew nothing of, and Lois, who's father was a general in ROTC, gave me the dirtiest look when I assumed she was an enlistee like myself. Funny how one's rank makes one superior.

As my time in the service progressed, it became clearer this ranking thing and how it permeated everything. Once you attained the rank of Sergeant, it was expected of you to disassociate with the lower enlistees. Upon exiting the service in 1989, I wound up working for the Sheraton Seattle Hotel. There I learned of the ranking system in corporate America, as well as the ranking system of those who used the hotel at differing levels of financial ranking. The list continued on as I became more aware of how the supposed one reality worked, as my awareness registered more and more splinters of alternative realities.

What was fascinating about this as I continued to grow was how everyone truly believed their reality was the right reality. And of course this is still a significant belief to the many who have to insist on this rationale in order to maintain their own heavily invested delusion of who they are and who others are. One cannot go through life authentically while maintaining the delusion that others reality is wrong and yours is right. A great deal of effort, energy, and money go into convincing others in their idea of limited truth. The real truth is, that if you don't choose to be a particular way, then it truly matters to know one other than yourself. But a problem arises in most because they are not honest with themselves about the delusions they harbor and so their egos must react against those who would threaten the sanctity of rightness.

In this sort of mindset, conflict is a never ending story. I wrote recently about change in the world and how we don't do change very well. Every step along the way as we became aware of what was not healthy, the old ways died hard, refusing to change. We continue to pollute because it is more expensive to not pollute. This sort of mentality exists at every level of society, business, government, and religion. Every time new information arises, new awareness, it bumps into those who oppose change based on their unwillingness to change.

Unfortunately, change triggers fear in those who live their lives invested in doing the same thing over and over, for it creates the illusion of security. Security as it has been known is a shame, because it requires one to be blind to many facts; namely how one is dependent on the system. One might find this ridiculous, but the fact of the matter is that where there is no authenticity, there is no awareness of certain facts that arise clearly as feedback necessitating healthy change to maintain health and wellness on many different levels. In general we change only when it benefits us personally and mostly when it pertains to external aspects.

The reality of a living system is that change is a constant. Ignoring this eventually leads to problems. In dysfunction mode, the many do things that go against their inner Nature. Addictions arise from this negating process, which gives way to many unhealthy products, services, and situations. History is full of these facts, where individuals became aware of things that were unhealthy for us from industry products or practices that disrespected others. Examples of these still are problematic today with lead based paints, banned pesticides, racism, and sexism. 

One change creates a chain reaction in a reality where the many are entwined in tradition and habitual ways of living. While it is true that change does cost something, the real truth is that the cost to not change is even more astronomical, especially when one takes of their blinders to realize what the cost is to one's health and wellness in body, mind, soul, and spirit, as well as the significant impact to our living environment with which we are interwoven with for our very survival. Only an insane person would overlook the obvious and continue to do destructive processes.

At every level along the way, my changes have effected change in those businesses and individuals whom I interacted with. When I became aware of the significant value in eating organic foods and the price for not eating them, as consumer I shifted my purchases to those that supported organics. Not only did this effect where I did my grocery shopping, but also eating out for dinner, sweets, non-alcoholic drinks, ice cream, and such. My purchases reflected shifting $3000 in groceries to those Co-ops and companies that supplied organic foods. If you do the math, you will begin to understand the significant power of the buyer to effect change in the world.

The awareness I acquired spread to every area of my life to include clothing, art supplies, electronics, light bulbs, candles, furniture, and transportation. This also shifted into who made the products and under what conditions. One cannot have honesty and integrity and continue on supporting practices that denigrate the lives of the many. With more awareness along the way, I discontinued cigarettes, sodas, fast foods, and non-organic or unnatural products. Over time I stopped buying clothes for the sake of building up my sense of self, because I realized the clothes weren't the problem at all. Awareness effected eating healthier, discontinuing pharmaceuticals, traditional medicine/dental, as well as buying recyclable products and recycling them.

I point these out because everything and everyone is interconnected. What you are seeing in the world are huge shifts occurring because they are no longer working, can no longer work because they are not built on solid foundations. One can only dump so much garbage into the environment before it begins to overload its carrying capacity. The health care system is failing because it cannot cope with the incredible deluge of dis-ease that more and more are acquiring from unhealthy lifestyles and mindsets. All of these are inter-related in every aspect of society. Cities, states, and government are overloaded with debt due to not being conscious enough to see the writing on the wall to change.

Resistance to change is fear oriented; fear of not enough, fear of not getting what you want, fear of being abandoned; fear of being hurt. These four aspects of egoic fear mongering have created the world as you currently understand it and see it. Until the many begin to understand this and take the steps to wake up, life will get grimmer and darker, because this is the realm of ego. One can choose to live in a monochrome world or live in full living color. There really is no choice as you begin to awaken and it dawns on you how worthless and empty life has been up to this point in the present ongoing flow of endless moments.

I liken it to living a life of suffocation and finally submerging into fresh air. The freedom to Be authentic and the relief of not worrying about what others think is incredible. Freeing oneself from egoic thought patterns of limitations is far more enjoyable than being a robot where one lives by habitual conditioned responses. One might argue this point, but the truth the only thing doing the arguing and dismissing is your egoic construct, which is what it was designed to do in the first place. I am posting again the links to two important outlines to assist one in discerning between ego and spirit:

True Guidance vs. False Guidance


Ego Versus Spirit Voices

Waking up to authentic Being means you are free to be empowered to use all of your creator abilities to consciously create on solid foundations, a society where we all are respected, loved, nurtured, supported, and surrounded by a community of authentic Beings.

The choice is always yours. No one is coming to rescue you, for saving yourself is your responsibility, because everything you need is within you to do so. Spirit has remained indelibly linked within your own authentic Being; you just cannot hear it over the roar of egoic non-sense. Other aspects of your inner guidance cannot be felt due to being stuck up in the head and not grounded in the body. And any waking awareness is constantly drowned and numbed out by external devices. 

Even if Jesus himself or Mary herself were to pop in from higher states, you still wouldn't change because they would not fit your egoic constructed view of reality. Look around you, and see how many differing realities exist proclaiming to know Jesus, when in fact, if you look closely, the Jesus they have constructed mirrors their own egoic realities. And the idea of the masses continuing to sink money into lottery systems hoping to make the big payoff, is ludicrous, since its not possible for everyone to win. 

Most believe in a finite world, and that arises from an ego that was meant to create a finite box mentality to imprison your attention away from your authentic self. If you look at Nature, it has evolved in a win/win situation, where harmony and balance arise and change in every moment. It is only humankind that is out of touch with this living reality of which we are apart from rather than a part of. One can spend endless hours, days, months, years thinking about what to do, but like education, it teaches you only how to prepare for life. The many have been conned into the "idea" of life rather than the experience of life fully present.

Imagine what would occur if suddenly everyone lost their clothes, money, labels, and prestige. What would be left? First, one would realize how insanely insecure the many truly are underneath all that "stuff." But, I can see that already and have come to realize the only way to respond is with compassion, non-judgment, and unconditional love. Let go and keep letting go, for it leads to a greater freedom that I believe the many are ready for. The new world will wrap itself around you as you listen to your inner creative muse (spirit) and begin the creative process of authentic Being. What you truly desire from your heart will be created.

"The Path Of Least Resistance" - By Robert Fritz


1.08.09 - Hatred is an interesting phenomenon that often is difficult to understand due to the fixation on the other person the hatred is projected towards. At the root of hatred is self-hatred, a great urge to avoid looking at one' own unresolved unowned feeling, desire, or belief that one has that is a mirror image of the one hated. At the core of all spiritual teachings is the tenet of unconditional love, non-judgment, and compassion. The basis of these stem from the understanding that we truly are all one. The other is merely a distraction, an excuse to disown what is going on within your own self. Ironically, authentic self is required to see through this mirage of the ego, since at the core of our Being is love itself, radiating like the blazing Sun.

Hatred is the process of self-negation, an egoic refusal to accept the truth of one's self. Hatred builds its intensity over time by suppressing fear, until emotions begin to arise, and these too are then repressed, creating a compression that projects itself onto others in order to vent. In other words, if one did not vent, self destruction would commence. In many ways, those whose mirror actions are despised, are allowing you to become conscious of what one is in denial about in themselves.

In ego's world, the great illusion is blaming the other, so as to avoid having to face one's own short comings. Those who hate have done the very thing they despise, either in deed or thought to themselves or others. If one hates themselves, whatever it is they hate must come to their conscious attention in order to be healed. Fear at its core is a negation of truth and in the realm of the Divine, all truth is accepted, understood and brought into balance; for every truth has it place in the Universe. There is no garbage in spirit's domain, only misunderstanding brought about by ignorance; ignorance when broken down to its root meaning is to ignore. The question one asks is what am I ignoring in my own self that I'm projecting outwards onto others.

In the bigger scheme of things, this is about energy, as are all things, for this is what we are at our core being, as every single aspect of the Universe, of the Divine, is pure energy. There are an infinite level of energetic fields permeating the Universe. The human body is an infinite Universe within its own self. The Chinese believe the body is the Universe and I would agree, having experienced this numerous times. Thought itself is energy, an electromagnetic pulse of consciousness that operates much like radio waves, only more subtle in their function and operation. One could say what radiates from the Sun is thought as well, for all energy is consciousness in action.

My point about energy is that thoughts are neutral. What charges them negatively or positively is the meaning we give to them; what we believe about them. If we take a look back into history or herstory, we find particular beliefs that were thought to be true. People did terrible things to others veiled in ignorance of greater truths. Ego has been around for a long time, eliciting negating responses in unconscious human beings:

"If the human race survives, future men will, I suspect, look back on our enlightened epoch as a veritable Age of Darkness. . . .They will see that what was considered 'schizophrenic' was one of the forms in which, often through quite ordinary people, the light began to break into our all-too-closed minds."  - The Wing of Madness: The Life & Work of R.D. Laing

Until we become aware, we play into this insane dynamic of projecting out into the world. We cannot help but project, as long as ego is suppressing one's authentic self. This projection is not just thinking itself, but energetic as well, creating a collective field of negative energy that bombards and pollutes the collective human psyche. We are empathic Beings who share this collective field, for we are all rooted in the Oneness. Think of a tree that is rooted in the earth. In our collective unconscious agreement, we see all things as separate, yet if we look beyond our chosen beliefs, we can begin to experience how all things are interconnected.

There will be many who will disagree with, must disagree in order for ego to maintain control over authentic Being. At its basic level of Oneness, one can see traces of this interconnectedness, how all things effect every thing around it. Looking at the Five Elements one can see how this works at all levels on our planet and ourselves. Paul Levy wrote a book about projection that was timely for our collective minds. You can find his articles at I will make it a point to post the specific articles, because they represent a significant shift in awareness of where we need to go if we are to awaken individually and collectively.

At our core Being we are soul and yet soul arises from the Divine Oneness. When I use the term Oneness, it is not singular in context, but rather more like the image I have on my main page, which I was intuitively drawn to create as a way of expressing the Universe. If I were to use numbers, there would be 1, then the 1 split into two. From this Divine Union, arises the three energetic aspects of Divine Creation; Spirituality, Creativity, Sexuality. I see these energies as entwined as one, yet having distinct properties, abilities, and yet neither is separate from the effects of the other two. This gives rise to what the Chinese call The Ten Thousand Things.

I have had experiences of this Oneness numerous times. The first time was with someone I used to know, where there was a moment that opened up to reveal the Divine in the other. Whether the other person experienced this I do not know. The next time this occurred, I was at a party with others. I was quite sober that night as everyone in our small group were talking. At some point, I had the experience of literally being everyone in the group, which startled me to know end. I recall trying to comprehend what had just occurred, and wondered if the others had experienced. I realized in a few moments that I was the only one who had the experience. When it came time to leave and go home, I stopped by to give thanks to the host, and as we spoke, I was standing on a vast plain and a voice spoke, telling me to be careful for the rest of the week. And suddenly the moment was gone and I was standing with the host again. A few days later, I told him about my experience and he mentioned feeling something odd.

My next occurrence with this Oneness was while attending my Master's program. Our class of 30+ students were all seated in a large circle with the teacher sitting across from me. While she was discussing the class, I suddenly became everyone in the circle and noticed after a  few seconds that the teachers face was dark with rage. Then the experience was gone, as was the teacher's rage. A month or so later, I was working on installing a computer network for the school and had an altercation with this women. In the end, she wound up apologizing for her projections, and gave me some gifts. I felt the urge to give her some paintings and wound up giving her one in particular of a face with what looked similar to a traffic light where the left eye would be. After giving her the paintings, I noticed an immediate shift of her consciousness, as if the burden of darkness was lifted. From then on she was a changed person. She wound up talking with the whole school about being struck while crossing the street at a light, which affected her short term memory. I feel like I was drawn into something to assist her in healing and balancing herself with the healing art given.

I continue to have these moments of startling clarity at times in Nature and even walking amongst the crowds on the sidewalks and in stores. I know for my own self that we are not separate and what we do to ourselves we do to others and vice versa. When we become more conscious of our authentic Being we are not just healing ourselves, but we are also healing others. Becoming aware of Pandora's Box, is becoming aware of the what the collective minds have suppressed and deeply buried. As each of us awakens to our full depths, we become carriers of the full knowledge of what is disowned. In this dimension of Being, we all have the full understanding and awareness that we are all that is disowned. If this were not true, it we would not be unconscious and insane as a society, doing the thing we do to ourselves, others, and Nature.

The only way out of this nightmare is to own the truth of this. Sufi poets write about this phenomenon, pointing to what wants to be judged, and rather than judging it, saying, "I am that too." Finding this within ourselves is challenging work, but it is quite doable and beneficial. I have felt others hatred and it has allowed me to become aware of my own self-hatred. This process has always led to self-healing by understanding the judgment, finding the belief, and accepting the feeling, emotion, or thought and doing the integration work essential for transforming more authentic Being into greater awareness.

There is a great deal of disowned feelings and desires that go contrary to the current state of dysfunction in our world. Upon further discoveries of the inner dimensions, we begin to understand who and what we are as spiritual beings. The current assessment of what this is from Church and State is light years away from the truth of the Divine. The fundamental responsibility of both of these organizations is dependent on those who run them being fully conscious and deeply rooted in authentic Being. At present these two organizations are gathering points for those who crave power. They do not have the highest good for all in their minds or hearts.

This is changing and will continue to change as each one of us owns our projections and takes the necessary steps in becoming conscious and authentic creators. Something someone wrote to me in regards to metaphysical materialism triggered something in me that woke me up around 2am. After tossing and turning and surfing the thoughts going on about me, I realized what it was.

We live in a materialistic society; this you are aware of. When people go unconscious, something that occurs during the early years, a loss occurs, that being the loss of authentic self. When a person splinters off and authentic self is buried, the fully operational creator self goes with it. In its place arises a false self that learns to respond or react to external situations and people. There's no other choice but these two. Our true power arises from authentic self. The loss of true creative power to create authentic lives, must be replaced with something due to this split. What arises is a void, an emptiness that cannot be filled by anything other than authentic Being/Creating. Thus begins the external egoic drive outward for a sense of self. We know this can never be fulfilled because authentic self doesn't need external approval or material goods for an identity. This is the folly of the egoic mindset, which strives to keep us from this truth by focusing attention on what others think of us; external approval forms our identity. This is the basis of an insane unconscious society. 

You mentioned metaphysical materialism and having a concern that the book might be about that. The truth of the matter is that until people become conscious about what I just described, there can be no authentic creating, even if one is intellectually aware of the fallacies of dysfunction and the insanity that abounds in a material oriented existence. Becoming intellectually aware of the issue is nothing more than one step in many, towards waking up out of the egoic mindset. The move from powerlessness to powerful is about consciously reclaiming one's authentic creator self. The key problem with waking up is weaning people off being dependent on others. This is no easy task.

Dependency arises when we no longer consciously know we can support ourselves from authentic creator self. Once we go unconscious, we lose our natural ability to consciously create our life from a spiritually aware center. We become dependent on what others say, what culture dictates, and what legal law dictates in regards to getting our needs met. There is no way to get people weaned off this quickly or easily without first teaching them how to create. At first the many may begin to want material things, but this is inevitable, since this is what they have been taught to get their sense of self. What they must learn to do is to create rather than react or respond to external cues. As people learn to create, what occurs is an awareness that they can create what they truly want and not what is culturally acceptable. At some critical mass point within, it dawns on them that what they are creating is empty. It's not that material things are worthless, it’s that they have no value for creating a sense of self. This is something material things can never ever do.

At this initial stage of awareness, people will begin to awaken to what truly matters to them from an inner perspective rather than an outer one. This is what learning how to create will awaken in the masses. There is no other viable way of doing this, other than doing the same thing all over again of changing the program for the robots to follow obediently. Egoic mindsets cannot fathom the true understanding that an awakened consciousness can. Most of what we see going on in metaphysical materialism has nothing to do with being a conscious creator, its about reacting/responding, or worse yet learning to make others react/respond, by getting them to buy into the latest intellectual process of doing.

Do we spend our time defending our fears or do we wake up and spend out time creating what we are passionate about? Are you as an individual spark of consciousness, willing to become aware of your projections, limitations, and masks. Saying yes to this, either aloud or within your mind, will begin the creative process of unraveling all that you have been up to this moment, which has been one big figment of humanities imagined fears. Everything we have been doing has been a choice, albeit an unconscious one. The creative gift in truth is being able to make conscious choices based in love rather than fear.

I just finished reading, "Why Is God Laughing," by Deepak Chopra, which is another wonderful fiction story about ego and fear and how to unravel it.

Enjoy your day!


1.11.09 - I've started reading Life On Land: the story of Continuum, by Emilie Conrad. I ran across this quote yesterday:

"The embryo is the subtlest, most incomprehensible shape that nature has to offer. It is in the embryo that quantum mechanics and uncertainty principles are blatantly exhibited and resolved in a live thing. It is in the embryo that molecular hydrogen, carbon, oxygen, magnesium, and the like...are turned into full-fledged jungles with birds. It is in the embryo that an impersonal power, manifesting as...limitless energy radiates to the planets of world-systems without number, streaming to them from their respective suns. It is in the embryo that blind and dumb threads of debris string themselves and one another together in pulsating, sentient bionts. It is in the embryo that junk becomes tissue and tissue develops a capacity for consciousness. It is in the embryo that the cosmic Life Breath...descends into the abyss of manifestation. It is in the embryo alone that the merciless universe---the stuff exploding in stars and riding on meteors---develops eyes and ears.  - Richard Grossinger, Embryogenesis

There's more that relates to this quote, of which I will post tomorrow when I have more time.



Back        Home