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January 2013



1-01-13 -

New beginnings arising in 2013 from the ashes of what was, as has always been the case, since the beginning of every ending. No one can know this with words and words at best describe something that is not knowable, only perceived with an awareness beyond reason.

The idea of numbers to convey some IDEA of truth of a finite age of something that is infinite in duration; never ending. We call it the year 2013, but what was it in eons past, beyond our conceptualized history of ideas. No one knows; no one can ever know and who really cares about theories rooted in thinking? What purpose does it serve other than to distract one from living in complete presence of now, of being present, listening fully without needing to label or judge in order to make one's false self comfortable; a distraction as distasteful as it may seem, yet truthful in its illumination of the living truth that is always flowing and unfolding everywhere and nowhere.

The mind seeks to know, and incessant craving for a sense of security and the need to control and dominate. What would happen if one just let go into the flow of life moment to moment, without needing to figure out what is going to happen in some future time frame that can never truly be known until it unfolds. So why all the fuss about needing to know if you don't really know? Delusions are the outcomes of needing to know, because they are a fantasized version of reality that is like a pacifier for the mind to suck on, and like an infant sucking on a pacifier is rewarded with nothing but the frustration of sucking on a fake nipple that gives no nourishment whatsoever. And like the infant sucking frantically, the mind convinces itself of some imagined delivery of a future reward; a carrot stick dangling over the head of a jackass.

The truth sets one free; there is no stick, no carrot, no reward, no future event, no future place. There is only  now and there will only ever be now right here and now; nowhere else but here and now. The pay off of sucking on a pacifier is to avoid what is going on right here and now; the truth of what is right in this moment without judgment of any kind; meaning to say no pacifiers. The mind fills the now with nonsense till you believe it to be more real than now, which is completely absurd and insane; exactly as one would surmise in the now.

One either lives completely in the present moment or lives in prison of their own making, conditioned by those who are also prisoners of their own minds. The funny thing is they have no awareness that this is so; none whatsoever. How could anyone know what they don't know? Knowing implies having an education that tells you what to know. But what about all those things you don't know? Where do you learn about those things you don't know? What if there is so much to life out there, around here, within, that can never be known?

The truth is you can't really know anything; one can only experience it directly with awareness. Concepts can be of limited use, but they have finite boundaries that imprison one if they believe it to be infinite; which can never be the case unless of course one chooses to believe it to be so. And this is the game that the many have been conned into playing; call it make believe, fantasy, pretending, acting, forgetting, avoiding. Ultimately it is lacking in authenticity and awareness.

As Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig would say, "That's all folks!"


1-16-13 -

Video of an interview of Adyashanti  -

Video of an interview of Bentinho Massaro -

These interview are from Conscious TV which offers extensive interviews of others on consciousness


1-18-13 -

Listening to 's Minimal trance channel tonight to some awesome music if one listens in the right frame of mind. Sinus O on now, with beats and sounds that are very rhythmic, like a heartbeat quickened, with sounds that create a contemplative trance, don't need much volume, just letting it pulse through the senses and allowing awareness to be present with the form and formless. Consider as you listen that the space around you is not empty, but full of a cohesive ocean that your form is submersed in, and the music is flowing through that ocean just as the light does, really one and the same thing on different wavelengths.

Notice how the body is tense, just scan your body with inner awareness and notice where the tension is, the resistance, and let go in those areas, breathing slowly, being the music, the form, and the formless all in one fluid movement like an orchestra being conducted by an invisible director. LOL, people just don't get how much of a breeze life is when they stop identifying with their mind, as if that silly thing is the sum total of your eternal existence. The mind creates all these ideas that distract you like flies swarming all around you, and you keep swatting at them, giving them your attention, not realizing you are caught up in a story contrived from all your subsequent past memories up to each and every moment of thinking. 

Just notice it. Don't judge it, because that's not you, but only the mind pulling your chains! :), you know you really are chained up in well-worn choice beliefs that literally form a wall of distorted reality projected in your own mind to take the place of the true reality unfolding in the flow of now. As children, we used to know how to be present; not the intellectual knowing, but the authentic joyful participation of our being. In some sense one has to know things, but at the same time of learning concepts, one should be still entwined with the intimacy of their own authentic Being rather than the scripted version of the game in life called, "Who do I THINK I am," that is beyond unscripted comprehension of awareness; of spirit; the One and Only.

Some people THINK I'm too out there, but you know, there is no out there; there's only right here and right now without needing the pacifier of thinking to nourish your numbness, your amnesia to complete awareness of what is here right now. Thinking one has to live in worry, fear, regret, anger, hatred, judgment, neediness, ambivalence, loathing, jealousy or anything else that sabotages your awareness is truly an insane act. One could say it's an inside job. Pick your reality, I mean pick one, any flavor for your savior and what all that thinking does is take one away from savoring their authentic savior within. The idea of who and what that savior is, void of the full awareness of the whole thing of existence in its wholeness; that's the real holiness. To pick one and see this is it, is to be blind and ignorant to the whole of existence.

There is nothing that is separated except your own attachment to ideas and beliefs that detach one from experiencing this eternal existence of BEING. And, I just realized right now that as a boy, I was aware of this, wondering about all the adult world, completely at a loss of what they were doing to themselves and others and then to me, us, and them, until we mostly LEARNED to be obedient to what we were being educated into and subsequently weaned out of our true value in existence; in Being. I'm enjoying being present without all that ridiculous nonsense I was taught and disciplined into BELIEVING. I've earned the right to let that nonsense go and be as real as I can in each moment and you need to realize, all that other nonsense, it obliterates your full awareness of your own existence, which is what they wanted then and now.

The need to control and dominate others to think like we do, rather than just being authentic, because they can't handle that truth about themselves, because it doesn't jive with the nonsense they believe, is the driving force of pain and suffering. That's the extent of the creation of all that nonsense which creates NO SENSE. One must then wonder what would be created with SENSE; by sense, I'm inferring to common sense and awareness vs. no sense and unawareness. It's like beating one's head on a wall, thinking if you just keep on doing this, eventually I'll get through it. Stop thinking and you're through the wall and when it finally occurs, you realize what the hell was I doing; and you have to realize that nonsense is a living hell.

You can make anyone believe anything and if you don't think that is true, then just look around the world at all the diverse cultures and way of being. Every single group that identifies together THINKS all the others are goofy. If one is honest with themselves and attuned in awareness, then you realize at the same time there is no right one, yet there is a right way of being and that's just being, being who you are authentically, which means to be devoid of the need to control and dominate others into your way of thinking. So you need to realize the moment you make a judgment about something or someone being what you want it or them to be, you've lost touch with your own being. The funny thing is itís your mind that distracts you away from just being in awareness. I'd say that pretty much sums up the issues of pain and suffering, and the incredible drive to focus on judging, which is the root of self-loathing, which is what judging is all about; disliking; non-acceptance and in that resistance, heaven is lost.

Bit by bit, moment by moment, until heaven is lost, invisible, mythic and myopic in mental magic of the turning way; to be or not to be. And yet, there is no judgment about what is, because what is is just that and nothing more, until the mind starts whipping up a mental dust storm that blinds the inner eyes of awareness. In this case seeing isn't believing, because believing by its nature can't see with the eyes of awareness. So, it comes to you, you get what you see and if you're seeing reality through the mental mind, then you pay no attention to what is. It's that simple, but people make it into rocket science fueled by an overactive mind seeking to be better than awareness itself. That's the cosmic joke! Love or fear; acceptance or non-acceptance. Your choices forever and ever and ever; thatís what existence is; the expression in life. 


1-26-13 -

I spoke with my mom last night for a while, reminiscing about foods, desserts and stuff in our family, touching on different perspectives, realizing there was only what each of us was aware of at the time through the years to make choices. How could one continue to hold any judgments over what was the best another could do? The whole notion of the ego creating a resistant stance towards the past, of what was, to pursue its own stance in defiance of the whole truth, itís idea of non-acceptance to what is, the truth of it, which is the full conscious awareness of which way each path goes in the mind of choosing. This is relevant from family on outward into the world, so busy protecting our ideas, our beliefs, our attitudes, our judgments of who and what we truly are in Being. Is it no wonder we judge others? The irony of this action is not lost on me, as how can one truly judge another when they donít truly Know their own deep soul? It is not possible to be awake and aware and have judgments of any kind. When the judgments are present, there is a loss of awareness, and there are incremental time periods between the loss of awareness versus listening to the stories of the past in our heads. One could say doing so is worshipping idol Gods; the mind of BeliefÖBy the same token, the moment you cease to judge you are free. The idea that one must pay penance for moments of unawareness is a judgment. How can one be free of the minds stories when they only are capable of believing what they know, rather than being open to what is presenting itself in non-judgment. One cannot know what this is as it can only be felt and experienced fully in each unfolding moment; it's the dance of grace within...

Something to wonder aboutÖ


1-27-13 -

"Our ordinary thinking mind knows only what it has heard from others, or what it has learned in the process of its own evolution and development. We conceptualize various objects as the Beloved of the heart, as what will bring true fulfillment and contentment. Throughout our attempts to fulfill the longing of the heart, the search for the Beloved is veiled by the concepts of the mind. Although the heart believes it is pursuing the true Beloved that will grant final peace and fulfillment, in reality it is chasing after impostors. The heart, as a result, finds many lovers, one after the other. The heart falls in love from time to time and is happy when it finds a new love because maybe the Guest has finally arrived. Maybe this is the one.

The heart conducts its love affairs one after another. The love object changes in form, depending on the stage of development, on the background of the particular individual, on the present circumstances and possibilities and so on. The love object can be another person, another toy, another activity, another job, another home, another car, another dress, really just about any manifestation in our life. The love object might be an inner state of one form or another, an idea of enlightenment, a concept of God, or a notion of the perfect relationship. We can pursue simply pleasure or love, even compassion. We accrue many lovers as we try to fill the gnawing emptiness at the depth of our hearts.

We all go through life moving from one love affair to another. And always we end up disappointed because at some point we discover that this is not the one. The latest beloved is not the final Beloved. Even though it seems wonderful for a while and we believe we finally have arrived, we keep finding out that our various love affairs are temporary fixes. And the search begins anew. The mind constructs new ideas, more refined conceptualizations of what it is we want. This endless process continues as the mind creates increasingly subtle and increasingly sublime concepts.

Even when we feel we are following our heart, loving something deeply despite the counsel of the mind, we are actually following the mind in subtle ways, ways we still do not recognize as created by the mind. We might be moved by the inner promptings of the heart, but usually our longing is created by the mindís concepts. The mind veils our heart to a much larger extent than we know. We are appalled and humbled when we discover how thoroughly our mind controls even what feels like our deepest movement toward truth. This is most obvious when we consider the love objects we pursue in the world of manifestation. But even the inner objects we seek, such as essential states or various subtle dimensions, are forms and concepts constructed by the mind. The Guest is beyond all conceptualization, whether it is forms of the outer world or the inner world. The Guest is prior to all forms and all manifestations." - A. H. Almaas

The Guest is their ultimate source.



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