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July 2008



7.02.08 - 


I've been gaining greater clarity as I continue reading Women Who Run With Wolves. I've been spending most of my time alone in solitude, which has allowed me to open up a lot. Silence is a great healer, teacher, friend, and confident. I have come to realize that old friends were nothing more than acquaintances, as we all were busy acting out patterns while wearing appropriate cultural masks that would occasionally slip off to reveal a bit of our hidden authentic self. I have come to realize that I really didn't know those friends, anymore than I knew myself. I made the choices then, as I continue to do now, to climb the stairs up the mountain to reclaim what has always been mine, but hidden beneath the social constructs of conformity.


The last few weeks allowed me to realize I have no more interest in those who once were friends. They were not authentic at all. As I have given up my own masks and distorted patterns, I have been granted access to what has always been at the core of this cultural construct named Sherman. I'm enjoying what I am becoming, relishing in my own joy of releasing the pain and suffering of worn out cultural patterns of conformity at every level of our cultures. This is challenging work and yet it is truly creative play, once you let go of the fear that draws one to imprison oneself to cultural conformity.


As I have looked back and re-assessed my past interactions with others, I have been able to clearly see what I was blind to then. It is sort of comical, the games, the dances, the lies that I was drawn into. I have been meeting others who are more authentic. I turned 50 a few weeks back, which ushered in some transformations of another kind that eventually freed me from other barriers. Ignorance is not a blissful state. I used to think that being younger was far greater than getting older, and yet now I can see how barren most of humans lives are, living in the patterns of conformity based on various aspects of chosen endeavors. Humans become what they do, and they identify with almost anything that will give them a sense of identity to cover up the insanity that they have been imprisoned in within the culture of Church and State.


I may not be rich in material goods, may not own a home or car or a host of other things. What I do have is my authentic self after many years of determination, motivation, concentration, and discipline to dig through the layers. I am amazed at how often I sold myself short with being busy trying to fit myself into the extremely small boxes of others. They can have the boxes. When you finally free your mind and begin to expand into vistas beyond accepted reality, you begin to realize the scope of possibilities.


My life has been challenging in many ways that ultimately strengthened me at each step along the way. One begins to stand out like a blazing light and people who live in fear don't like light. They will do whatever possible to make your life miserable or to stop you or imprison you. Unfortunately for them, the light always knows the way out. I am in gratitude for finally understanding the implications of who/what we are as spiritual beings. Spirit must come first before anything and anyone, because to not do so, creates an attachment/addiction and blinds one to the essential steps required in each given moment of life on Planet Earth.


I wish to give thanks to those who danced with me for awhile, allowing me to become aware of patterns of behavior/thought that needed transformation as much as their own. It takes two to have an interaction and those patterns bring together healing for both parties. I have been waking up to the realization of what true relating is all about. What I had in the past was a process of making something broken seem like it was not. All of us were interacting at levels far below our full potential as spiritual beings. Crippled is a good word to use. It's like suddenly realizing you have wings on your back and somehow, mysteriously, you instinctively take flight and become aware that you are flying, could always fly and rise above mediocrity and the prison walls.


There's a lot more to talk about, but I don't feel the need to address all of it at this time. Suffice it to say that there's always more than what we can see with egoic eyes. The heart sees beyond and this is where the many do not want to go. Fear is the inhibitor and prison guard. Love is the only thing that will set you free; love of oneself. At present, I am in the midst of more change, as I re-evaluate my direction in life and it is all right to not know. And it took all this time to get to a space of remembrance to be free of the chains that bind. May you find your own way in your own time. You reap what you sow...plant fear and you get fear...plant love and you get love.




7.09.08 -  I came across this amazing quote recently:


"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."


On this site was a short piece that connected with the above quote:


"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship truly CRUCIAL and CENTRAL in a life is the relationship to SELF. It is rewarding to find someone whom you like, but it is ESSENTIAL to like YOURSELF...It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is INDISPENSABLE to view YOURSELF as ACCEPTABLE. It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration and love, but it is VITAL to believe YOURSELF deserving of these things. For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find YOURSELF in someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, YOU are the only one YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE NOR LOSE. To the question of your life, you are the only answer... To the problems of your life, you are the only solution." - Mackenzie1975


I am appreciative of the way life delivers important messages, information, realizations at just the right time. When I read the first quote, I realized with utter clarity how often I wound up being with others or involved with others where I was the option. When this realization blew through me like a strong wind, there was this moment of clarity where I saw these people for what they were. The pattern that had been created long ago was literally disintegrated in that instant. This is what ego does, it creates these blind spots where we get caught up with inappropriate people. When I look back at these old acquaintances, it utterly amazes me that I was so enthralled with who they were. But, that was the issue, me avoiding who I was, which was why "the other" was such a draw. This is where the old patterns draw us into dancing with other who are like our parents and the dynamics we were entwined with at home, church, school, and culture.


The reason for putting up with others who treat us as options is intimately entwined with the second quote. I have read others who have said similar things, but how she states it is short and sweet. I also found a Dr. Seuss quote that touches on a simple rule to follow in regards to "Not being an option":


“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

We so often try to be what the other wants us to be, either consciously or unconsciously, which is part of our hardwiring for cultural software to fit in and be liked. Or we try to be like them or give up parts of ourselves they don't like in order to be liked. Dr. Seuss has it down pat; “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." If people get upset, angry, hateful, abusive, manipulative, or use shame/guilt/fear tactics on you, then they are not worth your time or effort. When these aspects are present, you are in the midst of someone running egoic patterns and they are not capable of being present to respect themselves, let alone respect who you are.

I can recall several people who pulled some serious things that I overlooked, or forgave without truly seeing the serious breach of honesty and integrity in the friendship and/or relationship. I have come to realize how naive I was in many areas and have made huge shifts in my awareness and understanding about human beings and dysfunction. I am grateful also to Clarissa Pinkola Estes incredible book that removed the rest of the crucial cultural blinders that allowed me to come fully into my own wildness again. Stepping out of the box of conformity definitely riles and upsets the status quo in ways that are similar to bumping into a hornets nest. Nothing brings out the meanness and hostility more than someone who doesn't toe the line to conforming with the latest belief system. People just don't like having someone going around Being and expressing that Being, that wild self.

One can be wild, lower case letters, and not realize they are being wild, they are just being themselves, with no conscious awareness of it being wild; being conscious of WILD would be upper case letters. These are the ones who get slammed dunked, because they are naive and gullible and trusting way more than they should have been. Unfortunately, life teaches us hard lessons when we are not conscious and fully present. Many often keep letting others off the hook each time they get slapped, punched, shamed, guilted, intimidated, laughed at, mocked, humiliated, or disrespected. There is a great reference to this called the T-account, much like a debit/credit account. Trust is built each time someone deposits a credit. When someone disrespects you that is considered a debit. What typically is normal in dysfunction is one can be involved with someone who starts out with a few credits, then turns around and keeps debiting the account and becomes way overdrawn.

I've been involved with this sort of situation at times during my life. Those days are gone, as are the days of being someone's option. I am able to see clearly those who are wearing masks, and those who are under false pretenses, those who lie, and those who do not shine. As a kid, most of the adults I interacted were like this at home, school, church, and my surrounding community. And amazingly, it continues on into the world of business, politics, education into the vast corners of every building block of this dysfunctional world culture we all are part of.

When one has their self-respect and self-love, no one, and I mean no one can take it away from you. When one is fully anchored in their light, the light shines forth and cannot be dimmed. Many will try, but in order for them to succeed, one has to believe what the other is saying or doing. For this to happen, one has to stop loving and respecting themselves. This lie that our world cultures are acting out is a game that has been going on for as long as humanity as been on this planet and our collective history is barely touched upon in the current idea of how old humanity is. The establishment is not our governments, but are the ones who manipulate the puppets strings.

When one is aware, anchored in self-love and self-respect, one is intuned to their spiritual abilities for guidance. One in this state of grace needs no outside sources for truth, for spirit, the light, is the truth. All creative knowing comes from source, therefore, the idea that some are intelligent and some aren't is an illusion. This illusion allows for the belief that information/truth comes from select religious, political, educational, or scientific sources. We have been conned into believing that human beings are the creators of truth. If one spends time sifting through the rubbish of our past, one can deduce that those in higher positions created ideas based on half-truths, meaning that their egos manipulated the data/facts to conform to their belief systems.

Spirit on the other hand is not interested in belief systems. It has no agenda other than truth, honesty, integrity, love, and constant change. But, this is unacceptable to certain groups of mindsets who have an agenda that that is contrary to the light. Let me state this simply: one has to really hate and loath themselves in order hate and loath another human being. For instance, lets look at slavery in the U.S. where those select religious, political, educational, and scientific groups created a society that supported the cruel and inhumane treatment of Native Americans, Africans and other minorities. As a collective dysfunctional nation of human beings, destroyed, imprisoned, impoverished, enslaved, beat, murdered, tortured, and forced any one who did not conform to their belief system into forced labor. As a nation, we still have not done our own healing to the point where we can acknowledge what was done publicly and right those wrongs significantly by changing every single one of those select groups that direct the collective established dysfunction.

In addition, this touches on every aspect of our cultures on how women and children are treated compared to men. This also includes gender stereotypes, sexism, homophobia, ageism, classism, and a host of other dysfunctional egoic mindsets who's intentions are to segregate, separate, and divide the wildness of authentic Being within each of us. On the surface we have been taught that this is a skin color thing, a gender thing, an orientation thing, or countless other superficial materialistic contexts. All of it is a vast lie, an illusion of the egoic mind, an amnesia induced upon those who had no power to stand up for themselves; children. The only true issue resides in whether one is allowed authentic Being or not. The only true issue is whether we allow each Being the spiritual right to self-respect, self-love, and personal sovereignty.

That's how simple the answer is and yet in that simplicity is such a vast, expansive, and power of light/love that will bring an end to the darkness and insanity of the egoic system of conditional love. There really is no comparison. It has been said by many wise people that humanity has been caught in a web of deception in the collective expanses of the psyche/psychic realms. This deception has been cunningly weaved to function in such a way as to force individuals into schizophrenic states of mind where the egoic aspect of their minds shut out conscious awareness of authentic Being. individuals then get raised into the dominant belief systems of the varied collective groups who have come to dictate what the consensus reality is going to be. This split in consciousness causes pain and suffering. In most cases, the many have no idea how much pain they are in because what is causing the pain and suffering is the suppressed awareness.

Here is something to contemplate on. Consider how many different realities exist currently in the U.S. Each set of beliefs is an energetic template that creates a reality based on select truths. These beliefs are grouped based on a particular person/s agenda or rather their limited perceptions of what they "think" truth is. These varied beliefs attract like minded individuals looking for the illusion of security. Helen Keller's quote comes to mind here: "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.


These collective groups of insecure people then begin to do battle with those who don't agree with their mindset, their beliefs. This situation is an energetic battle of the little wills of those out of touch with their deeper inner reality of authentic Being. Authentic Being doesn't need to fight, argue, avoid, hate, kill, torture, maim, discriminate, disrespect, despise, ignore, or deny the other. Look at the fractured mindsets in those select groups I mentioned. Each fragment is vying to be the one and only truth. What is occurring has to do with someone or some group thinking their puzzle piece is the whole puzzle. When in fact, if authentic Being were present, all of the puzzle pieces connected would create a vastly larger conceptual construct of a reality that is utterly breath taking. And while thinking is crucial to understanding this to get to the doorway of spirits reality, continued thinking will not allow you to enter through this doorway of spiritual perception.

Letting go of the need to think is what causes the split and silence, stillness, and feelings will put one in proper perspective in order to perceive authentic Being and the aliveness of the whole world/universe.


Awareness ends pain and suffering. As long as their are secrets, there will be pain and suffering. As long as the select groups I mentioned before, continue to suppress information/facts/truths from human beings, then pain and suffering will continue. As long as we hold in our own personal secrets, we will continue to be in pain and suffering. As Clarissa Pinkola Estes stated: "There is absolutely nothing that we have done or said that cannot be forgiven." Nothing...No Thing. We are not things, we are Beings, and authentic Being is not the cause of these things; culture is, dysfunctionally driven egoic oriented unconscious people being run by cultural software are the cause of these "things."

The phrase, The truth will set you free is truly relevant here. Oprah Winfrey has a similar quote as well:

“The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”

Getting to the truth is the challenge, and it can seem like an impossible task. And, I can state emphatically that after each hurdle is jumped, after each wall has been crumbled, when each locked door has been opened, the aspect of truth that was hidden suddenly appears. And the pain and suffering lessons considerably as what was once hidden in darkness is now brought into the light. I am reminded of an experience where I looked up and saw the clouds covering up the sun one Summer day. Spirit pointed out to me that our authentic Being is like that Sun, and the clouds are the egoic illusions that cover over our Being. That is how simple it truly is, and our authentic Being is untainted, untarnished, and just as ever authentic, whole, powerful, creative as it ever was, and always has been. That is the lie that has been foisted upon each and every single one of us.

The truth will set you free.



7.12.08 -

I found this interesting quote by sci-fi writer Michael Moorcock that touches on what I and others have mentioned about our societies being insane:

"Most of my career, I've been working to get to a point where my characters can move casually between a fantasy world and a non-fantasy world, just as we causally step in and out of our imaginative worlds. I'm working toward a paradigm that would describe the human imagination, the way we all do live in more than one world. Probably we're all multiple schizophrenics, just very quiet about it." - Michael Moorcock - Sci-fi writer

This is not something that one can simply grasp by reading a quote or a book or hearing someone talk about it in an hour or so. This is something that requires awareness and presence in order to become conscious of what is going on in the mind and at the same time what is being reflected to us in the world at large. This external world has many facets and nuances that we need to be aware of. Human Beings, Nature, and life itself are complex, and yet to be in the flow of spirit, to be tuned into the instinctive, intuitive, wildish self is quite simple; this flow is absolute truth, absolute love, absolute creative. Over time, I have come to realize the importance of not making assumptions and to question everything about myself, others, and the world at large. Reality is altered by our ego identifications, therefore it is imperative to be present, aware, and conscious of the environments we habitate with. This includes not only our physical environments, but whom we interact and surround ourselves with.

Physical environments include the place we call home, where we work, our neighborhood, the city or town we live in, the state, the country, and this particular planet, all of which have their particular energies, both positive and negative, depending on what is occurring at various times. These energies can be from materials in the spaces or from the layout of the land and the man-made structures on it; permaculture addresses this issue. The denser the populations in urban areas, the more problematic the energies in the environment. This is so because urban development has mostly developed via egoic mindsets, which regularly removes and or severely restricts Nature's presence. As I have alluded to before, it is our disconnection from Nature that is one of the leading causes to insanity. Note that I said it is one of the leading causes, because there are other variables that lead to insanity, such as those select groups I've mentioned numerous times.

Those with whom we interact with throughout the day affect/effect our well-being.  How other people are "acting", can offer extensive data on mindsets, belief systems, agendas, and the health of those individuals as they relate to your well-being. Their are various states of toxicity (dysfunction/insanity), in a person's family, friendships, relationships, communities, corporations, businesses (where one spends their monies), and various organizations in government, politics, religion, education, and health. There are no organizations that are off limits in regards to questioning one's reality. The more one does this, the more obvious it becomes how imbalanced the many are, as well as how toxically dysfunctional society is. The world itself is quite healthy, and by this I mean Mother Nature and all of its levels of sophistications and sentient life-forms. It is only the human species that is out of sync with Nature.

We humans are part of a whole living organism. Our bodies were organically designed for optimum functioning, which is why the Divine Mother/Father included the various cellular structures, organs, functions, chemicals, and processes. We all understand this basic requirement, and yet we have evolved into a so called "modern society," that continues to culturally sanction the dismemberment and destruction of living human organism called the body. The various groups that are in power have trained humans to shut off their awareness, which allows for the consumption of foods, drinks, chemicals, liquids that are either contaminated or toxic to varying degrees. This is done for reasons that allow for profits and diminishing consciousness.

Nature is fully functional and intuned to the Divine, and is always instinctually/intuitively re-balancing itself, even as humans continue to wage war on Nature. This instinctive/intuitive process is consciousness processing huge amounts of data and assessing each and every situation for optimum influential benefit for the whole organism. Conscious human beings are supposed to act in accordance with this inner harmony as well. But humans become susceptible to inner psychical interferences that disconnect the human/spirit interface that is essential to harmony and balance. These rogue negating forces are like a cancer that begins attacking its own healthy cells, and this attack is what creates self-hate and disrespect. The outcome of this false programming is humans who begin to dis-assemble, segregate, disintegrate, and destroy the inner Nature and outer Nature, until the healthy organism (Humans/Nature) cannot function anymore.


Under dysfunctional programming, human beings become human doings who's main dysfunction is to ensure the obedience to this egoic process of self-annihilation. The egoic process is at war with the soul self, and spends considerable time/effort blocking the Divine spark of light that emanates from within, from shining outwards into the world. It is my belief that ego is not the culprit as much as psychical influences.


This shining is crucial to our well-Being on all levels. Shining is our creative process, our living, our emanation of spiritual joy, bliss, ecstasy, peace, harmony, and balance into existence. The opposite of this is to deny it's existence, and this is what the egoic consciousness does, by building illusions that wall in, distract, and contain conscious awareness. One can and should call this egoic creation pain and suffering.

I have used the analogy that we are like computers, and when we are unconscious, we are logged off the spiritual network. When we are logged on, we have access to all the information that we may need for every situation. If we look at the external world, we can see how this analogy would work. If we look at the various types of computers, we can see further analogies of this dysfunction. In the world at large, various organizations have their own network systems, and the Universe is no exception. Their are pockets/zones/areas where consciousness exists at various levels of function and dysfunction.

Looking at Microsoft's Windows platform, it is evident that viruses, trojans, worms, malware, rootkits, and a host of other variants are constantly at war with Window platform. From my perspective, Windows would symbolize an egoic platform. Apple/Linux don't have these problems and if they do, they are minimal. When has anyone ever heard in the news of any major attack on these two platforms. I see Apple/Linux as symbolic of a healthy spiritual human Being. Windows is consistently having problems, is poorly designed, and the ease of use is constantly inadequate; one only need how many technicians and support people it takes to keep them up and running. Windows is symbolic of culture and its incessant need for more (profits/control). On the other hand, Linux is built on the idea of Open Source, of which I see as a very healthy sharing and openness of information, which is what spirit is truly about.

I believe there are extremely intelligent species that are not in alignment with the light/spirit, who have their own agenda. My own journeys, continued inner experiences, lucid dreams, and intuition show me this to be true. I have interacted with some of them and they are anything but loving. I had the opportunity to have some Ayahuasca experiences and one of them revealed this concept in a way I could understand. The first context was seeing these incredible moving colors and being made to understand that this was the Divine Creation. Upon seeing this moving essence, I was also made to understand that this is what I've been channeling via my artwork.


This went on for a time until all the color suddenly faded away to a monochrome (black/white) color. What was communicated to me was the lack of color was the lack of spirit. It was explained to me that there was still a great deal of creative power here, but it was not the same as the colorful fullness of the Divine. I was able to understand that this is where humanity has been for some time; trapped in this dullness without the fullness of Divine Spirit. Below is an example of what this looked like:







The color is significant in that it is not color as we have been led to believe. Color is a spectrum of energy vibrations or consciousness as it is discussed in esoteric literature as well as esoteric astrology. Energy is seen as rays of consciousness that radiate to us on planet Earth. A good way of understanding this is how the Sun radiates us with its energy, its consciousness. Color/light is an energy, it is a power, and it exists at higher levels of vibration than humans are currently incapable of consciously knowing due to their dysfunction.

The monochrome image was shown to me as being very machine like, and if one looks about the world reality as it currently is constructed/construed, the evidence points out quite accurately this underlying machine like efficiency that grinds away all life, all differences, all diversity, all joy/bliss/ecstasy until the pain and suffering paralyzes and imprisons all life forms. The Beings who operate at this level of consciousness are not found of the light at all. They make it their business to eradicate it at every level of existence and they are good at what they do. All one need do is notice the world at large around them.


In Chinese philosophy, it is believed that Nature is a mirror of all things in the Universe, that anything you need to know or understand is within its diverse nature. These past few years have brought this front and center in my own consciousness, since I spend most of days working in Nature. When one does this enough, and pays attention, one begins to see that Nature is quite conscious and very much aware of us and interested in assisting us to heal and awaken. I have more stories about various animals, birds, and insects that have shown me this, as well teaching me about something I needed to know or understand at the time.


Ever since my Kundalini awakening in 2000, my awareness of energy has continually increased to a level of sensitivity that allows me to feel various nuances in my own body, as well in external spaces I find myself in. It is interesting to note the various spectrums of energetic vibrations with people, places, and animals, insects, birds, flowers, plants, that are found in Nature. Once I got over my fear, and began to self-respect/self-love myself at higher levels, it became easier to engage other non-human life forms. I found they would naturally gravitate towards me and we would cross paths.

I have interacted with yellow jackets, bumble bees, honey bees, and even wasps. I have been allowed to have their presence on my finger or hand. I've sat and meditated with a bumble bee on my hand as well. At work, I was given an old truck to use that later was found to have seven yellow jacket nests in various spots of the tail gate, doors, hood, and gas tank door. This all happened throughout one day and as I found each one, I let them know I was going to remove their nests and put them in a safe place for their young to survive and did so by using my shears to cut the nest free and carry it over to put under a bush or shrub nearby. While doing this, the adults were still on the nests.

But hornets are something uniquely different and it has to do with their energy. It's how they interact in Nature with other life forms. Hornets are very aggressive, and they show this by attacking and stinging to show you they mean business. If you get close to their territory, they brutal in their attack and make it very clear you are trespassing. Notice how most people act around them; most are frightened of them. Even angry honey bees or yellow jackets don't have the same intensity as hornets do. I have had many interactions with hornets, from being stung, to standing in front of their nests watching them as they watched me, to taking apart their nests, to assisting one's trapped inside my office space and out in the hallways.


I was working one day and bumped my head on a hornet's nest while trimming around this large cedar tree. I wound up getting stung on the neck and it was like sticking your finger in an electric socket. Once I got done jumping around and calmed down. I was able to walk over and see where the nest was. The nest was at face level and slowly moved in until I was about four feet from the nest. I could see about 6 or so hornets by the entrance way looking me over as I looked them over. There's something about their energy that reminds me of the same kind of humans who currently govern our societies. The hornets energy reminds me of the sort of consciousness that exists in monochrome realities.

It's this level of consciousness that hornet symbolize for these monochrome-like beings. Even looking at the designs of hornet nests, one gets the feeling of alien beings. This aggression is also an innate meanness and when one look at those in positions of power, they have that same meanness and aggression. They don't care who they harm, as long as they get what they want, and when they have it, don't even think about taking back what they took by force. They have no qualms about inflicting pain and suffering, as is evident if one has eyes to see and ears to hear with.

On a similar vein of inquiry, I ran across an image of a wood block carving by M. C. Escher of a larger than life preying mantis on top of a dead church pope or bishop. I was left wondering where he came up with that image and why.


What comes to mind for me has to do with what sort of influences have religious leaders been tapping into and what level of discernment have they been using. From my perspective of looking consciously at individuals actions and the positive or negative outcomes, one can deduce what level of light they are operating from. Looking at the history of the Catholic Church, as well as other dominating religious organizations, one can see what they have either done to their own members or to others who were "different."

Since all consciousness arises from within each human being, it is therefore important to question what they are listening to for their information and the deciding factors as what is considered positive or negative truth. I've posted the discernment rules mentioned before for gauging intuitive information and spirit voices that arise in the inner planes: True Guidance vs. False Guidance and Ego Versus Spirit Voices. This guidance works the in the same way when discerning the words and actions of people.

When one begins to use discernment, and begin to foster their own sovereign Being, one begins to develop self-love and self-respect. As I have said before, this is an ongoing developmental process of one's state of consciousness, which begins to be more and more in alignment with the present instead of being occupied with fantasies based on past/future tripping, which is the realm of ego. It is my belief that most are ensnared into egoic thinking based on cultural pressures of conformity, thereby training and conditioning the young and weak minded by enforcing rules they are unable to react against. This ensnarement is much like an insect getting caught in a spider's web. Once caught in the sticky webbing of conformity, one cannot extricate themselves, since resistance tends to be futile.


Matured adults are unfolded enough in their consciousness development to have the level of discernment to see clearly what is going on in their inner, as well as their external worlds. Maturity as used here has no bearing on age, in fact that is something that we have been enculturated into in our world. I say adults for the most part only because they have the means and freedom to act on their inner authentic self. This is not to say that young people cannot do this, because they can if given a nurturing and supportive environment. Unfortunately, it is mostly the adults who are doing the enforcement of dysfunctional behaviors and patterns that weave unconsciousness into the masses.

Once one is extricated from being ensnared in mass dysfunction, the inner light begins to weave stronger connective strands that are impervious to being disconnected again. As one's consciousness develops and anchors in, more information and awareness continues to stream in, assisting in transforming humans into spiritual beings as they were meant to be. Jesus said that we would do greater things than he and that is exactly what occurs if one is allowed to move through the spiritual developmental stages. I believe it is important to have others to interact with as we are developing who we are. But, it is challenging to find others who don't latch onto one teaching as the absolute truth.

One of the challenges of waking up is that our humanness has the innate quality of wanting to fit in, wanting acceptance, and the basic cultural hard-wiring we have usually draws subtle lines of conforming to a particular teachings. Jesus was not Christian, nor do I believe he would've supported one, especially so during his time. Ironically, things have improved since then, but we still have a long way to go in regards to the level of consciousness I am being shown. I also believe that Mary was as conscious as Jesus. This is something that organized religion does not want people to know, nor do they have any intentions of teaching others to be like Jesus and Mary or any other awake conscious person. There is absolutely no money to be made, nor power to be consolidated, hence the need for dumbing down the spiritual light of the masses.


I am posting again a recent quote because it fits into this whole dynamics of how we and why we fit in, even at the subtle levels:

"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship truly CRUCIAL and CENTRAL in a life is the relationship to SELF. It is rewarding to find someone whom you like, but it is ESSENTIAL to like YOURSELF...It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is INDISPENSABLE to view YOURSELF as ACCEPTABLE. It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration and love, but it is VITAL to believe YOURSELF deserving of these things. For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find YOURSELF in someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, YOU are the only one YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE NOR LOSE. To the question of your life, you are the only answer... To the problems of your life, you are the only solution." - Mackenzie1975 


When a human being is truly anchored in their own self-respect, self-love, their sovereignty arises from within their own spiritual self, where the soul interface with the Divine is our guiding light; sort of like how a GPS system operates. But, it is important to have absolute discernment so one does not wind up caught up in a negative GPS system. Again, it is the authentic Being that allows one to be fully present and conscious to be aware of feedback coming in from one's environment. Someone who is present and aware will pickup nuances of imbalance or untruth long before they are obvious to others. Awareness guides one to find the open doors/windows in the walls of conformity within The Establishment. It's important to understand that these walls are illusionary and based on mass delusion and conformity to living in fear; past and future tripping.

The mind games that the many are constantly being bombarded with is mind-boggling; literally and figuratively. If people had any idea of how manipulated they are, they would understand immediately how the system operates, and effectively begin to make every effort to re-organize their consciousness to be in alignment with authentic Being. This is hard work, and it is very demanding, but the rewards are well worth the efforts. A big part of the challenge is getting free of the need for approval and to learn how to be self-sufficient to handle being ostracized by those you once knew. Again, I remind you of the above quote. As one changes their closed minded beliefs to open minded beliefs, one no longer fits into or is accepted by those who still have closed minds.

Life can be difficult, but if one is truly centered in authentic being, then one is guided to find their own soul group that will support your spiritual worth and well being without judgment, without cultural pressure, without conformity, without fear, guilt, or shame. This is so because it is the way of light and always has been. Trust is a necessity in this process, because if we don't trust ourselves, we will not be able to extricate ourselves from the situations we are quagmired in.


Trust arises as we become conscious of dysfunction and free ourselves from the mental tentacles that enslave us into inaction. Trust arises as we begin to honor who we are in the face of adversity. Trust is truly a reliance on our inner authentic Being above all else, which is what the above quote taps into, as well as the links to true guidance. One has to have patience as they become conscious to the dysfunctional commands that one has been obedient too all these years in order to believe lies as truth. Each person has had to create a unique mental facade, a false personality, in order to act ones role and fit in to get their early needs met. It will take time to deconstruct this false self to reveal the brilliant diamond shining within. Trust is what the whole foundation of the way of light is built on.


I had this dream 6 - 8 years ago where this hidden mountain in the distance was revealed to me, after I had followed my mother (Goddess) through a wall. At the top of this distant mountain were two peaks of differing heights, and nestled between these two peaks was this huge City of Light that glimmered like a huge diamond. In the dream I was literally flabbergasted and speechless. I told her I never knew this existed. We walked into a rail transit station and  I could see this transit line went all the way across the desert and up to the top of the mountain. She explained to me that people go up from here and those on top come down here at various times. I noted a conveyor belt off to the left side of the train, which had baggage on it. She also explained that those here on the plains send their baggage up to the top and those on top send their baggage down here.

When you do your work, and you begin to reclaim authentic self from self-exile, you begin to realize from your own direct experience that life is eternal and that one is deserving and always has been. As the truth begins to arise, the lies melt away to reveal the light within. One begins to know for themselves, instead of relying on some external person as the knower of truth. Anyone who is dependent on external sources for absolute truth is going to be disappointed and enslaved. Truth can come from others and various sources such as books, movies, experiences, etc., but it is each person's responsibility to discern what is the kernel and what is the chaff.

I'll close with this recent article: Soul Of Symplicity




7.21.08 - 

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

- Dr. Martin Luther King


7.27.08 -

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of every day life." - Pablo Picasso

Most of our day to day activities are meaningless, meant to distract us from the inner life, the inner life that would bring joy, peace, bliss, ecstasy to the presence of our being during each day. Earlier this week I found out that a client of mine has a brain tumor. I've been taking care of their landscaping for the last four years and have grown quite fond of both he and his wife, who are both in their late 70's. I feel more of a kin to him than I do my own father, in that he is authentic and down to earth. During the Summers, they give freely of what grows in their garden. I was overwhelmed with grief upon finding this out. I wonder at times, how caring people can be struck with dis-ease, and yet those who run the Establishment continue on without skipping a beat.

Ironically, the last few weeks I had been feeling like something was wrong, because I hadn't seen either of them, which is unusual. Again, another lesson about listening and acting on my intuition. After visiting for a while on Friday, they again offered me some vegetables and fruit from their garden, both walking me out and telling me to take whatever I want when I come. Their graciousness has left an indelible mark on my soul, for this what is sorely lacking in our societies, government, and with those who supposedly rule. I believe the latter to be the poorest of the poor, because they will never know what it is like to truly be loved and respected for who their authentic being is, nor will they ever truly know warmth, caring, generosity of true spirit within their friendships and other significant relationships. They truly have nothing, and perhaps this is one of the reasons why they spend so much time, effort, and money manipulating the many into buying into the game of materialism. Their sense of self is built on a great lie that has led to an abysmal life of empty existence, and all of their money and possessions are truly worthless, since they cannot take it with them when they die. What they will take with them are the haunting memories of their dark deeds.

While I was picking raspberries in my friend's garden, I had to go down through the aisles and carefully move around the vines that grew naturally here and there. I became aware of the fullness of the experience, of feeling the wind blowing, hearing the robins calling to me to get out so they could get some berries, as well as the being struck with the realization of the intimate connection I was having with Nature. I realized that we are interconnected with Nature, that healing occurs while interacting with the sentient plant life forms that give us sustenance. Our interactions with the plants heals us because it brings us to the simplistic contexts of living with the Earth, of seeing what comes forth from the living soil that interacts with the other elements, such as the water, sun, wind, and elementals to create foods that heal us and sustain our spirits. 

Nature conceived that everything was to be connected, that we would be connected to the land, to our food sources, to be aware of the cycles of life and death; death as rebirth and transformation. The tastes, smells, textures, and other aspects of Nature, like the seasons, interactions with the Sun/Stars were meant to keep us balanced and in harmony, in order to sustain our body, mind, soul, and spirit in paradise; yes paradise, because Eden is this place, just as it exists in countless other planets in other solar systems in other galaxies. All of it is alive and sentient. There is nothing that is not sentient. Words cannot describe the fullness of this direct experience, it was like being a part of something, part of greater consciousness, a sense of wonder, of beauty, of giving gratitude to the living spirit as I partook of the gift given freely. Notice the word Free...

I have been realizing a lot how much we pay for things, in more ways than one, and it is simply ridiculous that we should pay for those things that grow freely in spirit. We have been fed a lie about this world, that we have to work all day to make a living, when in fact most are dying instead of living. Oh, they may have a car, house, kids, money, vacations, retirement accounts and such, but they are bankrupt in spirit, in light, in love, in peace, in joy, in bliss, in compassion. Ironically, the ones who have the most of this inner richness are the children, and they are mostly imprisoned by insane adults, who make it their business to break their spirits to conform  to the madness of materialism and egoic living.

This past year, I have noticed an increased letting go of most of what I used to identify with as who I was, or what I liked to do for fun. I have come to the awareness how empty most of it has been, even when I was pretending it was fun; it was just a distraction. I can see that now, as I can see how empty all of my relationships and friendships have been. This is why I have let go of all of them, because they give nothing of spirit; nothing. I no longer am willing to dance with masks, facades, charades, lies, personalities, and attitudes that do not respect the fullness of spirit. One may "think" this is a lonely existence, but I can assure you it is quite enjoyable. What is not enjoyable is playing the mindless game of pretending. I can seen now why people who I have known have turned away or walked away, because they didn't want to look in the mirror I was providing them to see themselves. Who does? I confess that I have done this in past year with those I realized now would've been better friends of light than the one's I chose. The reality of my poor egoic choices was it maintained my delusion and illusion, which let me fit right in with all the other insane fools.

I don't miss that. In being authentic, I get to enjoy who I am, to see all of my ins and outs of what arises from within, and as they do, I have the response-ability to love, nurture, and support those aspects that insane society judges cruelly. Cruelty arises from self-hatred, which is why the many are so cruel. One cannot be sane and cruel at the same time. In order for insanity to exist, the truth has to be covered over and the lies have to be enforced as truth, and this is what culture gives rise too; culture as it currently is expressed. Culture isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just has a lot of parasites, viruses, trojans, and malware that are causing a great deal of destruction.

Government is the same way, as is religion, or politics, or science. The basic platform or structure is sound in general, it is only those who run them that are out of sync with their authentic Being, which causes the structures to be run dysfunctionally. The structures have been in an ongoing process of re-structuring, but unfortunately, those running them, the elitists, The Establishment, are in great need of healing of the spiritual dis-ease they are inflicted with; this is what insanity is, and there is the insanity that arises when people awaken from their own insanity, and because no one validates their sanity, they go into a different mode of insanity, which arises from the confusion they perceive and not realizing they are not going to get outer validation from insane people, who have no inclination to awaken.

Looking at history, one can see successive waves of insanity as it has circled the globe, finding different hosts, at different times, with each infection leading to violence, bloodshed, killing, raping, pillaging, imprisonment, enslavement, and subsequent perverse abuses meant to inflict trauma and insanity for the sake of conformity to darkness. The list is endless and again the darkness is rising its ugliness again, trying to stifle the rising light, as it always has. One can look back in the last two centuries to see specific points of where the masses began to awaken and the establishment clamped down on them. Consciousness is what has been ongoing and it has been between the light and the dark, lower and higher vibrations of consciousness, energy, light, "information". One's mind is either open to the flow of information, of awareness, or it is shut down to less information and awareness; much like a water faucet that controls the flow of water. This is what the establishment has been doing for a long time. But, nothing lasts forever, and their game is not going to go on much longer; it's just not possible.

The more information that gets out to the masses, the more they are able to awaken and realize what needs to be corrected. People are not stupid, they are just ignorant; the root of the word is to ignore. They have been brainwashed from birth to ignore their inner knowing, which is the essential source of all truth. When we are connected to the divine, we are connected to the all that is, all that knows. And as I have alluded to before, it is essential to maintain the awareness of what is being received from the inner planes to ensure we are in alignment with spirit and not ego or other psychic parasitic beings.

When a person wakes up, the Universe begins to show you things, begins to lead you to new awareness, understandings, and wisdom. What most of humanity is missing is staggering to say the least. What is really funny is how they turn their backs on you, or laugh or mock you, or they ignore you, or punish you, or at least they think they are. There truly exists different realities, but they are based on the limiting of information and ideas. The whole truth just exists and has always existed, it's just those who have chosen to abdicate their divinity for something lesser for the sake of reasons born from reason; the craving of power, the desire to wield power over others, to want more than the other, to not share, to horde, to be better than another; this is the glamour that seduces the many. It is the forgetting that you are the divine, have always been divine and need nothing to be divine. 

Note that I did not say you don' t need anything, I said you don't need anything to BE. Being does not require anything to BE. Being just is Being. What does arise from Being is the natural procession of getting what one needs to exist in a way that is in harmony with all sentient life forms. Ponder on this last statement, for it requires a diligent understanding of spirit in order to put things in proper perspective.  Being does not horde, nor ignore the plight of others. The problems we have today in the world are systemic of too much ego and not enough Being. There is more than enough, and this idea that there is not enough in the world is utterly ridiculous. This illusion has been created by The Establishment in order to horde power; money, houses, property, and things are secondary to the power over others.

They have not learned to share, not just their money, but in their authentic Being, because they were taught at a young age that Being was worthless or their soul is of a dark nature and in need of spiritual healing. Something to discuss at a further time. Gary Zukov wrote about soul sickness in his book, "Seat of the Soul", which is a good starting point to explore what I am alluding too. And there are other books, but most importantly your own inner knowing will eventually begin to bring this to your awareness. There is a great deal of pain and suffering in the world, and it is not only caused by lack of external things; the greater is the inner pain and suffering of souls; the eternal dilemma.

With that, it is late and time to rest the body/mind. Be well.


7.28.08 - 12 Midnight -

Something to think about for a long while; everybody is wounded. 

Spend a couple of days if you can and contemplate what that means. Then when you can grasp some of what it implies, then spend some months and years occupying most of your time coming to terms with that and understanding what the implications are for every one of us on this planet. When you get that far, the rest of the iceberg that is hidden beneath the surface of the ocean within, begins to rise to the conscious levels of your existence. Imagine finding yourself unable to comprehend what you are seeing, feeling, hearing, and knowing, as it begins to overwhelm the filters that have kept it at bay for years.

You begin to think you couldn't possibly stretch that far open to accommodate the immensity of what is presenting itself. And all you can do is just breathe, taking it one moment at a time, hoping that you can just make it through this next wave of realizations, that keep lapping and flowing over you one after the other. The water erodes the facades one by one until you are raw, standing on the shore, with your bare feet digging into the sand for footing as the power of the outgoing wave sucks the sand out from under your feet as if you were nothing but a grain of sand yourself; and we are.

The water is cold, and yet it is alive and sentient beyond anything you could comprehend with words, because words are worthless to describe this inner sensation that is beyond anything this world has known. The power is overwhelming and you come to understand suddenly that there at the edge of the beach is where life really begins, where it has always begun, and will always continue to emerge from the vastness of the waters that beckon with the tides coming in and going out; always; all ways.

If one has awareness and respect, then one can navigate these waters, but the riptides are no match for our need to control and the only way to navigate is to relinquish the need to be in control. Letting go to realms that would threaten your very sanity, but isn't that the problem? We "think" we are sane, that we have it all figured out, that things are black and white, right and wrong, until something emerges from the waters to sink your air tight ego alibi.

The waves swiftly spread up and across the wet sand with a frothing white foam bubbling with a giddiness that draws arcing fractal designs across the endless beaches of eternity, as you back pedal quickly up the beach to avoid the incoming tides. And there is always more to come, a never ending story of such vast proportions that leave one sopping wet with disbelief beyond measure. And you thought you were a good swimmer? The only good swimmer is the one who knows how to float and be buoyant, who knows how to go with the flow of spirit in the waters.

You don't need your clothes or watch or shoes or wallet or car keys or glasses or makeup. What is needed is determination, motivation, concentration, awareness, feelings, and a willingness to acknowledge, understand, accept, and embrace unconditionally. If you can do that, half the battle is won. The other half is disciplining yourself to see it through to find the compassion required to fulfill your destiny in the coming moments...


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