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November 2009



11/22/09 -


I've finally settled into Seattle. It took me some time to clear out some outdated patterns and beliefs that prevented me from getting anchored here in Seattle. I had hoped to find a cooperative housing space to live in, but that was not to be the case. I realized that I needed my own space so as to birth more of my authentic self. I've been on a roller coaster ride literally within my own self as I become more attuned to what is going on within the inner waves of being. It's been breathtaking, earth shattering, humorous, healing, freeing, humbling, and authentic.


Organized religion in general is mostly about teaching fear. The use of guilt, shame, and fear is nothing more than a sham to organize one's attention into the intellect and to neglect and avoid one's inner nature. That's where one finds one's higher self, one's God/Goddess source. One is not going to find it in reading a book or listening to someone talk about it, nor is one going to gain access by thinking about it.


You are the key, and the body is the gate with which you enter, or rather let go into. I'll repeat this again; one let's go in order to enter into the embrace of the divine. Your awareness of your true authentic self is the key. Your being authentic and vulnerable and open is what forms the key, as it is who you are. Your authentic self can only access this domain. Ego can dominate all it likes and kick and scream and curse, but it cannot enter the domain.


One might ask what is authenticity? One might as well ask what is self, because being authentic is being rooted in self-love and self-respect. When one becomes aware of what these are and what they manifest within oneself, then one begins the forming of the key of authenticity. As I've said before, the need to judge others arises from judging one's own self. Judging is a form of self-hatred. Therefore, non-judgment is the realm of letting go.


Letting go is the releasing of the tensions in the body that prevent one from letting go into their deeper aspect. The body is not who you are, it is a living spiritual being in its own right. The body is an extension of the soul and one could rightly say the body is soul too. The body is an expression of the soul. Religion figured out a way to disconnect human beings from their authentic selves. Those in power began to teach and enforce behaviors and beliefs. They began a campaign of teaching guilt, shame, and fear. The teachings taught that the body was a sin, that sex and pleasure were evil.


If you tell someone their body is bad and you punish them for it and you judge them and shame them, use guilt, and intimidate them in the many ways, then you shut off the flow of love within, the flow of light, the flow of authentic expression of being. I want to be clear about this. God/Goddess created everything and they don't make mistakes and they sure don't believe in the need of guilt, shame, and fear. If you have your own inner experiences of the divine, you have to let go of the guilt, shame, and fear.


Fear is a resistance, a restriction, a recoiling away from one's self, one's authentic self. If you've ever touched the antennae of a snail, you will see it recoil back into itself. When we are taught to give up our inner truth, our inner connection, we begin to avoid expressing our authentic self to protect ourselves. Our authentic self pulls away to protect us when we are incapable of protecting our own selves as children or naive adults. Naive adults become naive from being disconnected as children, who have to obey the rules to get their basic survival needs met.


Anyone can figure this out for themselves, just start focusing your attention on your body. Notice how, where, and when you tense up. Notice how you hold your breath. Over time you will begin to know why you do this. This is one aspect of becoming conscious of your true self, your authentic self. When the body is tense, how can one let go into the divine? How can one let go into their authentic self?


If you have to have a religion, then at least make your religion letting go within: 


letting go of judgment

letting go of shame

letting go of guilt

letting go of fear

letting go of lack

letting go of beliefs

letting go of the past

letting go of the future

letting go of greed

letting go of jealousy

letting go of resentment

and anything else that is not authentic...


With that said and were clear about what we aren't, this new religion needs to be about being authentic first and foremost. This religion is The Way Of Light and we are all beings of light. At our core we are all authentic beings, living flames of absolute truth that is the foundation of self-love and self-respect. Our spiritual core is rooted in the Divine, and this living essence is authentic, loving, caring, supportive, nurturing, and giving of guidance on how to live authentically. One cannot experience this by trying, it requires letting go and being open to receiving, as the divine speaks to one, just as you would speak to another person. Discernment is another key in being able to tune into the authentic one.


Another mind prison the Church created was this idea of teaching others to focus on the past and the future, which conveniently avoids the present where one connects with authentic self and the divine. Being authentic is being conscious, is being enlightened. The bible is a wonderful book of interesting stories, but it is rooted in the past and is dangled as a carrot over each person's head who believes rather than experiences the divine. One will never ever in a million years experience the divine by intellectualizing it. And the idea of living in fear of God/Goddess is even more absurd. The idea of an angry and punishing God/Goddess is laughable, as there is no way one is going to even move closer to the divine living in fear. How can one truly experience a loving, caring, nurturing, guiding divine being if one believes them to be vengeful? It's a delusion brought about by having amnesia of one's authentic self.


Books are helpful in understanding the divine, but every culture has their own interpretation that was handed down and the many rarely have their own direct inner experience. And the Church has lost its own authenticity by not teaching others how to have these direct experiences. We have a soul, so why can't one experience this soul that we are? Ask the question to yourself. If we are the sons and daughters of life itself, of the divine, then we ought to be able to experience this and know for ourselves. And you can, but not the way organized religion is going about it. Jesus himself said that you will do this and greater things than I. Think about it.


Where does guilt, shame, and fear lead one? Away from the light. Intellectualism is another path away from the light, as it leads one to conceptualize what the divine is rather than learning to experience it directly. There is no guilt, no shame, no fear, no punishment, no judgment, no eternal damnation. It is a lie of the biggest proportion meant to keep your consciousness imprisoned in limitation, pain, and suffering. Would you like to experience joy, bliss, peace, and ecstasy? Then let go and go inside. Begin to explore who you are or who you think you are.


I was working with a person the other night who had been doing some inner exploration and then he decided he needed to get going after he realized some things within. I asked him to consider honoring his authentic self by continuing letting go into himself. He realized he was uncomfortable and went back to letting go within himself. An hour or so later he sat up and after being quiet for awhile, admitted a truth he was uncomfortable of facing within himself. There was a shift in his authenticity, an embracing of his truth, of another aspect of his authenticity he had been judging and resisting. 


In authenticity, we are aware of our divinity. We are the flame/spark of God/Goddess. This is what we are turning away from in our guilt, shame, and fear. This is what we shut out when we live in our heads and have a disdain for our body. Within you come face to face with your higher self and you immediately become aware of what you truly are and know without a doubt from your direct experience that you are love itself, that you have never ever been alone, and have always been guided. This is not a thinking process, it is a receiving process, and opening process, an allowing process. One is allowing the introduction of authentic self to present itself within. There is a meeting of that which is authentic and that which is not, and the two meld into One, and this can and must open up further into still further aspects of God.


Our problem is that we think to much, it has become an addiction that distracts one from the inner silence. We don't hear our inner higher self because we have chosen to forget. We have amnesia of our divinity, because we could not act on our authentic self because it went against the cultural rules. Culture is a living essence of spirit that thrives on authenticity. But over time, culture became static and unbending, an concretized into belief. Culture is supposed to be fluid, changing when something no longer works or is no longer enjoyable. The Universe was/is created this way. Our divine parents are always creating and changing and playing, reveling in being open to new ways, new ideas that transform and bring harmony and balance to a new level.


Culture has become a straight jacket and the many are claustrophobic and unconscious about it. One need only look at the world around you and notice the level of shame, guilt, fear, greed, judgment, intimidation, coercion, lying, cheating, stealing, killing that goes on to see that it is not working. The rules have been killing us and one can see this in the vast numbers who are dis-eased, who die needlessly from dysfunction, from a lack of connection to their deeper authentic self.


I will write more about this. In the meantime, give thought to what I have said. I speak from having my own inner experience, and from taking the time to discern what comes to me. Just as there are people who deceive in real life, so are their beings on the inner planes who deceive. One learns to discern the difference by the quality of the interaction within you; one is either rooted in unconditional love or fear. Fear is not God/Goddess. Fear is an endless cycle of pain and suffering. What do you choose?


Start letting go. Pay attention to what is going on around you. Begin to slow down, make time to do inner listening. It takes time, because we've spent a lot of time not listening and so have all sorts of ways to keep ourselves busy. Being is a delicious state to experience and eventually it becomes your permanent state. You start to enjoy your self, and life as you get away from judging your self and others. Be aware of the inner tricksters that will arise to distract you when you do this. Determination, motivation, and concentration are most helpful in doing this inner work.


It's that simple, but the knots we've twisted into are not that easy to let go of. The good news is there is a way to untangle oneself. Letting go is the key.


Be well!




11/26/09 -


I am opening with this quote as it speaks to the greater authenticity awaiting us at every moment within:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson - A Return To Love

We are amidst another holiday and most tend to be unaware that there are many different holidays world wide, each rooted in a particular culture's expression. We do a disservice to the many when we assume our holidays and rituals are the only right one's or only worthy ones. They are merely rituals, things cut in stone on how one is supposed to act, live, and be with those in your community. We get hung up in how it's supposed to be, rather than allowing the natural flow of what desires to create itself from within. The problem with holidays is that is commercialized, it has become an industry, a way of filling one's pockets, rather than filling one's heart. We are expected to do and act according to tradition rather than listening to one's heart on what needs Being.


When it is expected, demanded, enforced, it is no longer a joyful expression, it has become a chore, something to endure, put up, rather than a dancing with one's self and others, without getting all hung up on conforming to what the past was. This is how the past continues to create the future, rather than the future creating itself from the ever flowing presence of the now of authentic self. I hear so many people talk about having to endure or arguing over whose house it's going to be at or a hundred other negative contexts. This is an opportunity to imagine an authentic expression of how this might be an enjoyable occasion. Authentic people allow differences and choices as it is the wellspring of communion with others. Did it ever occur to you that the others are wanting something more, but are also frightened of being authentic?


Thanks-Giving is not just about giving to others. At the source of giving is acknowledging that each of us gives to our self first and foremost. This relationship with authentic self is absolutely key to becoming conscious AND staying conscious. This is the spiritual marriage that is essential to sustaining one's divine essence AND divine connection. Loving and accepting your core self as pure and innocent and divine is your response-ability; meaning one must have the ability to respond to one's divine nature. This is no easy matter to support when one is listening to the cultural programs of conformity.


Your authentic self knows how to create your bliss, if, you let it. Authentic self knows how to make all the connections. This is what being in one's creative flow is for living one's life authentically. Hence today's message via Marianne's piece to bring more understanding to the implications she presents. These are the awakening times, as they represent our awakening to who and what we are without all the cultural baggage weighing one's authentic self down. Holding back one's authentic self is merely being caught up in fear; GO BACK AND RE-READ MARIANNE'S PIECE AND READ IT AND RE-READ IT TILL IT SINKS IN...


I am in joy because I no longer judge who and what I am as an authentic expression. I spent years perfecting the act of conforming to others limitations. My vow to authenticity has been integrated again. And every day is a loving process of authenticity again, and again, and again... In every moment we are called to embrace who we are and what arises in our authentic expression of divine consciousness. Many would argue this and they have to in order to stay contained in their self-imposed prison of conformity. This is how humanity has lived for millenniums. Humanity was forced to abdicate their authentic origins for reasons that were not authentic at all.


It makes no difference why the others are not authentic. Just know they are not and are uncomfortable expressing this. This is our challenge in the coming times in embracing our authentic divine self and expressing it in a most respectful way; as is the only way. True respect is not about forcing others to be less or to conform, it is about embracing and expressing our true self. Please note here that I am not talking about the conforming self, but the authentic self. You will know the difference as there will be judgments, fear, shame, and guilt surrounding what you "should" do and what you are desiring to express.


Please note that this self expression in no way impinges upon another in any way, shape, or form. This eloquent piece by Peter Russell, touches on and conveys what this means and again keep in mind that the actual inner understanding is intellectual but rather based on experiencing the truth of what resides in the living waters of authentic self's core:



Love is not something you do,

It is not how you behave.

There's nothing you can do that constitutes loving another,

No action that is of itself loving.

Love is a way of being.

And more than that.

It is simply being,

Being with another person, however they may be.

Holding no judgments, having no agendas,

No need to have them experience your love,

No desire to demonstrate love,

No intrusion upon their soul.

Nothing but a total acceptance of their being,

Born of your total acceptance of yours.



It is my desire that others seek their own path into themselves and to explore the damage that has been done in the name of organized religion, education, and the politicizing of what we are not. When you truly begin to experience this divine presence in your own inner sanctuary, where no one can reside but your essence, then by the grace of God you become acquainted with your spiritual home; all of us have the same spiritual home. You recognize that we are the children/expressions of the divine essence of Light. If you are not moved to tears, heartfelt sorrow, and monumental relief in this letting go, then all you are embracing is the idea of the idea, rather than being real, being authentic, and within the joy that brings.


The actual word of joy is not the same as the experience of joy. We have been quietly subdued into a box that has no awareness whatsoever of its wholeness. This box is what culture creates. This box is an organic process of selecting ideas to create a recipe/formula/template for the expression of consciousness; God consciousness, not the lesser consciousness of what humans have been creating from. This formula is given to conform others to their understanding of reality based in lack . A friend of mine posted this very timely and profound wisdom on Facebook: 


"Constantly programming everyone else's minds with our own language." - Souren Erikson


This is what we do when we are unconscious. We do not have the capacity of complete light to recognize the God essence in the other, to know they are in either conscious or unconscious accord with their inner source. We know this by the quality of our inner life, not on external people or things. Be a light unto thyself is what we are becoming aware of, of being rooted in the flow of present awareness. This presence is an actual state of mind, like an inner spring eternally quenching your thirst. The quenching can only be quenched with love for self. The thirst arises when we lost sight of our preciousness and put it on some thing or person as our salvation, and of course since its not the real authentic inner connection, it is guaranteed to fail because it is not real, not authentic.


There are some who incarnate with the vision of God. Each of us can experience these states if we but opened our minds and letting go of fear. God is such that in its completeness, its circle, expresses throughout itself, of which we are but one of many expressions through matter. Some are gifted with foresight. This foresight is looked on as a burden to carry of God's, as the ember is put within your own essence additionally to carry. Our conscious choice to carry this arises from a deep compassion and love. We are the loving expression of Love itself, desiring authentic communion. This is the basis of love and its well spring. Love desires to love itself unconditionally.


So, how can anyone teach about love if they do not have this experience within their own self? If you understand the God within, your understanding because of a direct experience. You see within your own self whether or not you are being authentic. One can see why the many are asleep, as how could one continue to disrespect others and stay conscious of what that feels like. Truly treating others as we would treat ourselves must be the basis of all spiritual understanding. Martin Luther King understood this when he said:


"Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think."


"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."


"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality."


Thirst is a natural response to the God flow of consciousness within. This is a natural response to desiring to know thyself and express this divine self. What you look like, have, titles, money, all of those external things has no bearing on your being. The world is currently in the state it is because it is waking up to how out of touch it is with their own inner natures, and no organized group can tell you or show you what that is. You have to wake up to that reality, that inner state of grace within yourself to understand. The best one can do is in creating authentic (sacred) space for others to begin to act authentic. Being authentic does not require obedience to any form or way of doing to be. Being isn't doing anything but being in divine acceptance of your own sovereignty, your own self-love, and deep respect for who you are.


This is the basis of the tenet "Thou shalt not judge."


The Four Agreements from the book of the same name state:


Be impeccable with your word

Don't take anything personally

Don't make assumptions

Always do your best


The four agreements are discussing this coming into our authentic self expression. We do this by being honest with ourselves and others. We stop taking other people's behaviors towards us as evidence of our sense of worth. We stop the egoic game of making assumptions to avoid the truth about ourselves and others. And when we do these, we are then in a state of grace in allowing our authentic self to express its divine essence. One is going to have to throw away all of what they "think" as these are merely chains that imprison authentic expression. What you have been taught are concepts and these concepts work like chains. They limit how one perceives, how own thinks, and how one responds.


Being taught something ultimately has to be initiated into experiencing it before we can understand it. Being on the receiving end of one's beliefs is what we experience every day in every interaction. We are either respectful of allowing the other to express themselves or we are disrespectful. If we are respectful it is because we are respecting ourselves. If we are disrespectful it arises because we are disrespecting ourselves in some way we are unconscious about. Who we are disrespecting or judging is the key that releases us from the bondage from what we are unconscious of in our self.


The challenge is to bring light to understand what it is we judge. For the divine makes no mistakes and what we are judging fits into the greater scheme of life than we are currently aware of. We lesser one's, unconscious one's of GOD's wholeness, half to let go of our assumptions to listen deeply on how to bring that into harmonious creation. Every thing that is judged has a place in the bigger schemes. And this comes full circle to what I mentioned before about what we judge in other's we judge in ourselves.


Religion has taught that GOD is more important than us and this is simply not true. It has been said, "Be a light unto thine own self," and it is this expression that touches on self-love, self-respect. We are important to GOD because we are God in incarnation. I'm reminded of Paul Williams comment in his book Das Energi:


"If not for the grace of God we would not be God"


The implications are staggering because it brings awareness to how we are treating others, and how we treat others is directly correlated to how we treat our authentic self. This is something challenging to see, as we have this "idea" of what we are, rather than full awareness of our current limited expressions, and these limitations are what we believe in and express and base our self worth on. One needs to realize that there are no limitations on our God self, as we are intuned with the breath of God, have the living waters of God consciousness flowing through our Being.


This isn't about having a big head, it's about having a big heart. And I know we all know what that means, and have seen it or heard of it. This big head thing is an ego mind that has taken it upon itself to assume that it knows what is right for every other person. History clearly shows how this struggle has blown around the world like uncontrolled raging forest fires, as this clearly is what occurs when the ego mind takes over. All of us must see how everything in the world is a reflection of what is going on within our own self.


Armageddon is nothing more than the battle going on within one's own self over the sovereign right to express authentic self. The parting of the Red Sea is an analogy of opening up one's mind to cross over to the awareness of God self. A closed mind is a terrible thing to have to figure out God with. There's nothing to figure out other than directly experiencing all that is judged, to understand with compassion and understanding, without needing to feel ashamed, guilty, or in fear of retribution. Being authentic allows one to commune with GOD/God to understand and make sense of our selves and others as it relates to authenticity.


Those who come back spewing fear, shame, guilt, anger, hate, and violence have only been communing with their own self- loathing, self-hating egoic self. This is not authentic expression at all. Fear, the creation of fear, arises when we start living in separation, when we stop seeing the other as GOD, when we stop respecting ourselves. Fear arises when we lose our self-respect, self-love, self-worth to "believe" that another outside our self knows who and what we are.


There is no other, that is the illusion of the mind. When you realize you are one with all beings, then your life changes, truly changes, because you experience yourself with the Oneness, and you know that you are of this Oneness that removes all doubt, all shame, all guilt, all fear; until you forget again, when the fear arises again. Our faith in ourselves requires we surf the wave of spiritual awareness. This was what the movie "Surf's Up" was wonderfully expressing.


You and you alone hold the power and the key to change your life and to embrace your divine authentic self. Nature is holding the reflection of all there is within us if we would but only open up and pay attention. Seeds are an example of what we are, as is water, as is every single iota and atom. When you let go of the concepts, you make room to experience the divine Nature of spirit. Jesus said that we would do greater things than he, and this is the time we are in, when we can begin to have a greater capacity to understand the divine on its terms rather than our limited past ones.


What it is we will be doing is the inspiration we find within our own selves to birth into the world. We are all birthers of spirit, our spirit. People get hung up with this idea that they will lose themselves if they let go to GOD, but they fail to understand that they are a unique one of a kind expression of the Divine, so you really don't lose anything, you simply gain the freedom to express yourself authentically. And that is the spiritual path we must all begin to walk, in seeking out what is our authentic nature. Very challenging, yet very rewarding.


My desire is to teach others how to know themselves if that is what they so desire. Not everyone is interested in that expression and they must be respected to continue on their own journey in figuring that out. That does not mean we turn a blind eye to those who are unconscious and harming others with words, beliefs, attitudes, laws, judgments, violence, or neglect. This is not authentic and is indicative of a mind that has been disconnected from its authentic self/God connection. Every effort must be made to have compassion for them as it relates to some small aspect within your own self that you are not aware of that is being mirrored back to you.


Know thyself, always opens to love thyself and this is the creative act we play with in maintaining our spiritual balance. Spirituality is thus the direct communion with GOD and the process of disconnecting from egoic negating thought patterns. Becoming conscious means you get to be present to what you "have been" creating from a state of unconsciousness so as to re-orient yourself to conscious authentic self. 


What you see in religions in their current state is their teaching and enforcing obedience and adherence to programming that limits who you are as an authentic person;  a spiritual person. The teachings are woven into the living fabric/matrix of the cultures we are emerged in to keep us unaware of our divine natures. Authentic expression brings about awareness of how we are limiting ourselves, harming ourselves, and harming others. The first tenet of GOD is about loving thyself, and in loving thyself, we are able to love others unconditionally. There is no need to judge those who have gone astray, as they are caught up in the throes of their own self-hatred, self-loathing, which is why they do what they do; it is the natural creation of how they see themselves.


If this were not true, you would see a world full of joy, love, compassion, abundance, care, nurturance, support, and authenticity. These are the signs we have been struggling to become conscious of so we can heal ourselves, to align ourselves with our inner truth/self in order to live authentic lives. How we do this along the way is forgiving our trespasses as we forgive others for trespassing against us. As Jesus said, "forgive them, for they know not what they do." And the truth is, when one is unconscious, one has no idea what they are doing.


This comes back to what Souren was getting at:


"Constantly programming everyone else's minds with our own language."


What programs are you running that don't serve you or others in authentic ways?


What programming are you forcing others to believe in?


Enforcement is not about authenticity, it's about controlling others to feel in control with one's false ego self. in authentic expression, one has completely let go into self-acceptance, which is not a state of enforcement. You will know when you are in the presence of someone who does not judge, as they will not judge, shame, guilt, or intimidate you; you will feel it. These states of grace are essential in waking up as one needs to experience what authenticity is. The many grew up without having anyone to acknowledge their divine grace and from this lack of acknowledgement became imprisoned with the beliefs of the many who live in pain and suffering.


Pain and suffering cannot acknowledge love, as it is the limiting expression that authentic spiritual love doesn't exist. This is the only reason pain and suffering exists, as it is the struggle to avoid knowing the inner truth of a loving self/GOD.


When is enough enough? As spirit gently said to me, "when you have finally had enough, and are consciously willing to say, I've had enough, no more." And until that happens, one must understand that they are creating it based on belief system programs that have limiting authentic expression and abundance. If you don't have spiritual abundance, then how are you going to have a whole life that is full of abundance? You can have all the money in the world and still be empty, and that is what is going on with those who have been ruling mankind for some time. They truly have nothing. They have no self-respect, self-love, self-worth, or self-acceptance. If they did, you would see an enlightened world, and that is the higher vision we seek to express.


How each of us gets there is our divine path, and all these paths are rooted in the spirit of the Divine. We each have our own divine essence and our own passions that are essential in creating conscious self and world. What you are waiting for is to consciously embrace your authentic self without judgment. When you wait for another to give you permission, you will wait forever. And that is what I had to overcome in my own life, with the final removal a foundation that was not authentic from the beginning; what we each must overcome in our selves.


The only solid foundation is a spiritual foundation built on self-respect, self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance, as these are the creative foundations of healthy spiritual expression. This solidness is faith in one's true self.


Are you being faithful to your authentic self? No other knows the answer to that question. What is authenticity? What is self? In the fairy tale of Snow White, the wicked queen  who gazes into the mirror is merely seeing aspects of herself that she is judging, and in her own self-loathing, self-hating, she diligently has to go to work to smother that which is not to her liking. and so Snow White goes to sleep. The waking of Snow White by the prince is nothing more than those aspects within the Queen being brought to conscious awareness. And there are stories that show the wicked one as a male, so this is not about gender as it is about archetypal energies of consciousness. This process of annihilating authentic self is what goes on in each of us until we awaken and love who we are unconditionally.


If you want limitations you will find them, and they will support your ideas. But, if you let go to experiencing your divine essence, then the limitations fall away and your support is your authentic self, that has been there eternally, unwavering in its diligence, and in its love for you. It is your guiding light, and has been assisting you in ways that you could not even imagine. The struggle disappears when you let go, when you surrender to what is, in order to hear within the silence the authentic voice of authentic spirit.


This is my giving and my thanks for all who have assisted in allowing me to become conscious of my authentic nature.



11/27/09 - Love is all there is...


Accepting who and what we are is self-acceptance; our acceptance of whatever arises from our spiritual self/Being. We do not judge it because GOD itself is communing with us and through us, as we are GOD. Our self-worth is our self-acceptance. Self-worth is our love of self. When we love ourselves, we respect ourselves. Respect is loving who we are as a living light of GOD; of what could be best termed Wunderkind, German meaning: "miracle child" or "wonder child"


The hang up is thinking about what we are judging. If you sit with this, closing your eyes in a quiet space, you will make room for the truth to reveal itself to you. Your true spiritual self will reveal a truth only when you are ready to embrace the remembrance of it. This embracing of who we are is what remembrance is about; self-acceptance. Without this we cannot love ourselves, nor can we truly love another. Your self worth is what you are, is your essence. The judging of your worth is what diminishes your love and respect for yourself and GOD


Acceptance then is the key ingredient in love. GOD is acceptance, because if GOD did not allow, GOD would not be accepting of what arises from within GOD’s own self. This state of Grace is the essence of GOD. All of us have arisen within the Oneness and GOD accepted us, therefore there is no guilt, shame or fear; only LOVE. Acceptance is what love is. When we accept we give an invitation, we invite our authentic self to embrace us in wholeness. This joining of lower/higher self is what creates this wholeness, this love. This is the only true marriage within each of us.


This is important to understand as it puts our self/GOD first, so we have a relationship within our selves. No other external relationship can fill this longing. The angst of separation is this inner longing to merge, to feel the energetic merging with the divine within. The quality of our relationship with the divine is a direct correlation to our relationship to ourselves. GOD seeks to be intuned with its Wunderkinds. This loving presence is what we tune into when we let go and accept our divine nature.


Accepting is loving because creation itself exists where acceptance and non-acceptance dance. What have you not been accepting of in your own life? There are no limitations with accepting as it allows you to discern your way without the entanglements of guilt, shame, and fear. In absolute love one takes response-ability for the outcomes of one’s actions and respects all those concerned. One goes back to authentic self to find the authentic way to proceed and one forgives themselves for being unaware.


Acceptance and forgiveness are One. This is what love is.


We don't realize what this idea of self love is because we are so caught up in loving the other. We must always give love to ourselves first, so that we are full to love others, which is to respect them, love them as they are, and accept them without judgment. This act is not just a thought process, for as you begin to realize how you haven't been loving yourself, there arises a letting go, an opening in your heart center. This letting go, this acceptance is the energetic flow one feels when they let go. This is the source of GOD, the source of acceptance, of forgiveness, of love. It is our existence, our expression.


This letting go, this opening, allows us to feel the presence of GOD; this is what joy, bliss, ecstasy, love, peace, and truth are. One is supposed to feel GOD’s presence within their own body. This is what we are embodying; GOD. GOD is not present, nor is our authentic self if there is no joy, bliss, ecstasy, love, and abundance. This is how we know we are loving ourselves. We feel loved when we love ourselves, as there is an outflowing of light from GOD, and we are judgment free.


The following experience explains this. In 2000, I had a kundalini opening, with the energy uncoiling and rising slowly tingling through my body. Upon exiting the head, I found myself moving through space, seeing the entire Universe, and then found myself levitating towards some small cave where I was taking someone’s place because they needed a rest. I entered the tube and immediately felt an intense flow of energy that felt like an ocean pushing outwards through my heart center. The pain was almost unbearable and I was guided to keep letting go. When I let go the pain lessened considerably and yet the resistance, the non-acceptance to what was occurring was challenging. I kept being told to leg go, keep letting go, and this continued on for some time. I found myself in a room with a man sitting at three computers connected together. I was informed there was to be a Big Bang occurring and that it would be up to me to hold it all together.


Subsequent inner openings continued with the theme of letting go. Each experience was an energetic opening, there being a letting go within the heart center, that allowed the flow of energy, a shining of energy, a shining of love, a shining of GOD. One is supposed to feel the presence of GOD within their heart. Quantum mechanics has made it obvious that we are energy, a wave shifting to particle. We are energy, spiritual energy, and we are imbued with the divine grace of GOD. The false god is obvious where there is fear, anger, hatred, violence, shame, guilt, manipulation, coercion, lying, cheating, greed, arrogance, judgment, punishment, and dis-respect.


My heart center continues to open up because I consciously make the decision in every moment to keep letting go to loving myself, to respecting who and what I am as a spiritual Being. Bringing awareness to the inner judgments reveals where I need to accept and forgive within some aspect of myself I am judging, not accepting. Non-acceptance is not accepting the presence of GOD, it is choosing to believe someone else’s truth, rather than your own inner truth.


I came to the realization last night about the heart opening during the kundalini experience. I was being birthed/coached on letting go to lessen the pain and suffering. It wasn't just about opening up to more energy; it was about opening up my own heart to myself. This letting go was allowing energy, the emanation of GOD, the accepting of the flowing presence of love shining through. The pain and suffering I was experiencing during that energetic opening was from not loving myself, not being open in myself, with myself, and not being authentic. The Big Bang was nothing more than the meeting of the loved and unloved, the resolution of the acceptance and non-acceptance.


Letting go to opening the heart is our accepting who and what we are. This letting go is the allowing of God consciousness to be expressed through us as a wunderkind of God. The letting go is an energetic process, a feeling process, one feels this intensely, and the heart area resonates. Our intense desire to love another and the wanting to be loved, has its origins in our wanting to love ourselves, our authentic inner self. Until we do this, we are destined to be unfulfilled; not filled. When we love ourselves and realize our judgments a healing occurs, there is a release of tears and grief as we recognize our disrespect, and in letting go of the judgments we are healed and in the loving grace of God/self.


This disdain of the body is a body politic aimed at systematically setting up a pattern of self-hatred, where various others gather and decide who and what you should be and how you express yourself and what your worth is. No one has any right to tell your authentic self how to express itself. Not even GOD itself would judge your divine expression, as GOD recognizes you are a divine expression of itself. Don’t judge.


Judging arises from this dis-respect, for in judging we condemn our self. Judging arises from the judgments of others about our self-worth. What other's think about who you are is none of your business. Your business is accepting who you are, valuing your worth, and loving yourself absolutely. Your respect is your authenticity, is who you truly are. If what other's think about you is more important than what you think about yourself, then their truth trumps your truth; their worth trumps yours. All are special, there is no other that can make us less or greater than.


Those who judge have simply lost their self-respect. Wunderkinds are unique in that they know they are special, but being imbued with love and respect they respect all others. Love is special, it is our connection with GOD, and this relationship births great joy, bliss, ecstasy, and peace in our embodiment; the embodiment of GOD. Life is supposed to be full of wonder, full of joy, full of awe, full of love. This is what GOD is.


Our incarnations occur for a reason, each of us are mirroring to the other to bring about authenticity; enlightenment; the bringing of light; allowing the light; birthing the light. Incarnation is about bringing wholeness, balance, trust, love, and a deep residing respect for the gifts we have come to bestow upon the world, which begins with our authentic selves. Each of us has a great deal of potential and our respect for each other is essential in this great opening in consciousness we are becoming conscious of. It is our becoming aware of our God/self.


This is the great awakening, where we awaken to authenticity and create a world based on respect and all the feelings that the “word” contains in the world of experiencing. Spiritually, the word respect is a subject, noun, verb, adverb, adjective, pronoun, and preposition all at the same time, that we must bestow upon ourselves first and then others in turn. When we respect ourselves, the particle becomes the wave, the quantum leap occurs in our awareness, in our heart. This effect is felt profoundly, as there is an actual physical/energetic letting go occurring that opens the heart center.


You are a flame and God is a flame. To understand this imagine to candles, each with its own flame, each unique in how it burns and interacts with what makes it create itself. When the two flames are brought together as one, they burn the same flame and are as One. Our essence is never lost, as you can see when you pull the two apart and they are still burning. This is simplistic at best, as experiencing this internally is a deeply moving humbling experience.


When we love ourselves, we unite with God; our flame unites with God's, and we become one with all that is, because our authentic self is this Oneness. This coming together within is what creates the energy/consciousness of love. We cannot be love if we do not love ourselves. In not loving ourselves, in not accepting ourselves, we enclose ourselves in darkness, because we have shut out the light of self-love/GOD. Even shutting out a tiny piece of authentic self causes great disharmony, as it is a resistance to our wholeness, our completeness, our spiritual goodness.


Either you are love itself or you are pretending to be something that is not love. This is the fall from grace, the falling away from the Garden of Eden. One is either authentic or unauthentic. In the garden is reference to being in GOD, as there has never been a moment when we were not within God. It was our judgments of GOD, of ourselves, that prevents us from experiencing GOD within ourselves. Our judging was the exodus from Eden if you will. When we judge we are not loving, we are not being love.


Judging is rooted in fear, shame, and guilt and is why it is a major tenet in religion and the political. A society built on judgments is built on fear, shame, guilt, and punishment. The foundation cannot sustain itself because it is rooted in disrespect; disrespect of one’s self and the other. The only thing that it can sustain is its self-loathing, self-hating, and self-fearing. Fear is the avoidance of love, the avoidance of self-love, self-worth, self-respect.


Again, fear is nothing more than the avoidance of love within your own self. All fear arises not from outside events, but inside events within our mind. There is a big difference in intellectualizing this and experiencing this within your own self. When love is present within oneself there is no room for fear, no need of it. This is why it is essential to become acquainted with your inner self. You are making the time to be with your higher self, which is also GOD. We come together within, just as we would meet with a lover/best friend and we authentically express what is going on and authentically listen in response for answers that can only be heard in authentic mode.


All that arises from our consciousness is what arises from the mind of GOD, and since the divine is all loving, we to are all loving, and our mind is God’s mind. What we are passionate about is what God is passionate about, because we are God. Our unique spark of divine grace is imbued with a certain soul personality if you will, with its own divine aspect/expression of GOD. Think of it as a puzzle piece that belongs to an eternal puzzle that is the Universe. What you are expressing in your authentic being is that divine expression of Wunderkind


Acceptance of who we are is what liberates us from fear and delivers us to love. This is the cross Jesus had to bear, the judgments of others against his self-respect, his self-love, his self-worth, his God self. Ultimately the story shows that Jesus rises above these judgments because what died was the false self, the judging self, to make room for the loving self, the respecting self. The false self has to die as it has no basis in our truthful expression of who we are as a spiritual being.


The presence of pain and suffering is always based on not loving ourselves, because if we truly loved ourselves we would be aware of our inner higher self and be guided by divine inspiration to create what we want and desire. This is a sticky one here, because one cannot comprehend love when fear is present. Fear causes our sacred inner portal to GOD to disappear in a cloud of amnesia, a forgetting that arose when we began judging ourselves. This is the great turning away, the not accepting the truth of who we are as divine beings; not loving who we are:


“Our Deepest Fear”


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.


Awakening from the darkness of fear removes all doubt as to one’s authentic self. Our whole world is in a process of beginning to awaken from this fear. Insanity is what humanity creates from when they are in fear. When humanity is in love, sanity is created. Sanity is restored when we accept who we are as an authentic expression.


Sanity is judgment free. Imprisonment falls away when one simply lets go of judgments, when one stops judging themselves. If you have a hard time stopping your own judgments of yourself, then work on not judging others. Your not judging others is mirrored back to you so that eventually you bring yourself back into remembrance that you are that other. In Oneness there is no other to judge. When we embrace the wave of Oneness, acceptance arises. When we embrace the particle, judgment arises. Your level of awareness depends on your self-respect


Respect is the light that will change the world. Respect is an energetic state of coming from self-love and this space of allowing is energetic as well. You respect yourself because you don’t judge yourself. You allow your God presence to shine as acknowledgement of your self-acceptance. Your heart and mind become one in spiritual harmony. Those in fear have stage fright and the dominant force up until recently has been fear. Stage fright has prevented us from overcoming our fear and to perform our lives in authentic self-respect, self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance of our spiritual expression.


Keep letting go into your Wunderkind; into GOD.


Having said all that I am sure there many who are saying, "what the hell is he talking about?" I know I would've said that if someone else had written this when I was asleep.


What does letting go look like in authentic living? It means we express ourselves authentically. If you are moved to sing out loud or dance because you are moved by someone or something, then by all means embrace that. If you are moved to paint, draw, or crochet or to create, then by all means do so. And spare the judgments, as it is you merely judging your creations. Fear is the pacifier that we drop and our fear is quenched when we retrieve our pacifier. The pacifier represents our authentic self, our self-love, our self-worth, our self-respect, our LIGHT. If don't accept it, we stumble and lose our way and in the process lose our pacifier.


What I'm talking about is embracing yourself and loving your ideas, your wants, your desires. As long as you are not harming another, then this authentic expression is worthy. If you want to love another person of an opposite color or gender, then do it. If you want to love someone then do it. If you want to have sex with someone then authentically embrace it. Stop judging your body, your face, your personality. Stop judging what you think about, stop denying your curiosity and inquisitiveness. Open up to your sensual nature, your sexual nature, your feeling nature. Learn to trust your intuition, your hunches, your dreams, your visions.


Find ways to be in harmony with all of yourself. There is a way and it is only known by going within and listening. You will know if you are on the mark if it brings joy and acceptance. Acceptance is the key. When we let go we come to realize what we were holding onto, the judgment, was the cause of pain and suffering. Acceptance is love, you cannot intellectualize this, it is something you feel and no book can teach it to you, you can only have it mirrored to you from within yourself, where you yourself meet with your higher self and the presence of GOD.


See the glass as half full rather than half empty, as it is a reflection of your state of grace or disgrace. Light feels good, just like the Sun in the sky warms your heart, and this inner light brings a warmth with it. I have had wonderful moments while getting acupuncture done, where an opening would occur in the belly and my inner vision would suddenly appear showing me a white orb rising up from underneath where I lay up into my belly, and the energy of it was so awesome, bringing tears of joy and a sense of relief that no person, place, or thing could. When this occurred I was told by my practitioner to just accept and let go and allow.


Letting go is a feeling process one must engage, of being open to embracing the flow of your being within. To think we are a static concrete solid thing voids out any recognition of the spiritual flow of our authentic eternal nature. Thinking is the process where we can abandon ourselves if we are not careful. Thinking without awareness arose when we stopped loving ourselves, so it makes sense that we should love ourselves. Make love not war is really a wonderful expression to embrace.


At the time, most of the closed mindedness thought that was disgusting; there self-loating and self-contempt. Closed minds are what close hearts. Fear of love, fear of loving ourselves, and when we grow up surrounded by those who live in fear we are often forced into fearing our love, as we are indoctrinated into fearing our authentic self, taught to get our self worth from other who know better than we do about our own self. We are taught to only accept what others give and tell us as to what truth is. We are conditioned to respect disrespect as the law. We are taught to judge ourselves and then others. We are taught that we are worthless, that we are born into sin. We are taught that fear is a good thing, that it protects us and in reality what it does is prevent us from being the love that we are within our deepest self.


If you want your freedom declare it. No one can give it to you but your authentic self. If your life isn't working then be honest with yourself and look at it, pay attention to what is not working so you can imagine what would work. All your answers reside within yourself, within your authentic self, and all that need be done is to accept who you are, embrace your worth, respect who you are and listen. Listen to the quality of what arises. If it's love you will feel its joy, and if it is fear you will feel that as well. Your gift to find your way is your discernment, your ability to feel what is right. And that is challenging to do when we stay in our heads.


There are many ways to do this and no one awakens the same way. We all have different experiences that made us unconscious, so it makes sense that we will all wake up different. See what others are doing, read what interests you, seek out body work, breath work, do art, change your patterns, think differently, ask why more often, question the rules, make your own rules based on respect. Eat healthy, get outdoors in Nature, get as much quiet time as you can as this is quality time to be with your authentic self, to find out what is going on and how it can guide you in your authentic expression. Your higher self knows the way as effortlessly as the sun shines.


Notice what occurs within yourself when you begin to express your authentic self. You will feel awkward, like someone is judging you or perhaps there is, but so what. What is occurring is your lower self is judging the higher self, you are hearing the voice of culture dictates. And perhaps you  do have others judge you, and your goal is to love yourself so much that what they say or do has no impact on you whatsoever. I can hear you saying that's eay for you to say. And I will tell you that everything I have spoken of I have had to go through and it was hard and challenging and unbearable and it was because I kept on choosing to judge myself and believe in others judgments.


The moment I began to stand up for myself, love myself, respect myself, all others had no power over me. And they don't. The only power they have over you is what you give them. If you believe what they say about who you are, then you will begin to carry their burden of what they fear or judge in themselves. This is a collective dis-ease we are enmeshed in. There's a lot of people not loving who they are in all there multi-faceted selves. They are frightened of their authentic self, because they are afraid that if they love themselves they will be ostracized. But they have already ostracized themselves from their authentic self.


When we lose this connection we begin to want the other to fill the perceived emptiness. We want people and things to fill it as we are unaware of what is causing the emptiness. Wanting the other is part of this problem, wanting them to love you, want you, desire you, care about you, wanting what they have, wanting to be like them rather than accepting these things in your self. The illusion that the grass is greener on the other side arises from this, and the wanting distracts us from our self worth.


Return to love, again, and again, and again, and again. Keep letting go, let go, let go. Keep on accepting without judging, accepting without judging, accepting with out judging. I am purposely writing in a different style as we are conditioned to perceive reality in a specific word paradigm program. Language limits what are perceptions know. The words become the map, taking the place of the actual experience. An excellent movie that shows how we live in our heads is WALL*E by Pixar Studios.


Be well and Be in your love.


I close with this quote from Eckhart Tolle:


The aliveness in the body is an intelligent aliveness, and the wonderful thing is that when you direct attention there, it removes attention away from thinking. You cannot feel the aliveness of the inner body and think a lot, because consciousness is taken out of thinking and moves into the body. Feel that, just feel...




11/29/09 - 

A Light Koan by Sherman Buck


You are in a room with no way in or out.

All you have with you is a candle. 

Lighting the candle sets you free.



 A Dr. Seuss quote:


Be who you are and say what you feel

because those who mind don't matter

and those who matter don't mind.



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